Deal With It

by Monica McKayhan

  I wanted to ask her what happened. I wanted to know why Jamina wasn’t normal anymore, but instead, I asked, “Would you like some fried chicken?”

  “I want some of everything, sweetheart,” Rita said. “What is your name?”

  “Indigo,” I said. “Indigo Summer.”

  “And yours?” She turned to Jade.

  “I’m Jade Morgan.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you both,” Rita said and smiled. “Tell the girls hello, Jamina.”

  Jamina just looked at us with her sad eyes. Never mumbled a word. She was strange, and it was hard to believe that she had ever been normal like us. I slapped a spoonful of rice onto Rita’s plate and then onto Jamina’s, and was glad when they moved on so that I could serve the next person in line. I couldn’t wait to get this day over with, get home and finish my homework. Maybe even catch a glimpse of Marcus in his bedroom window.

  I felt sorry for Jamina, but unlike her, I had a life.

  At the end of the afternoon, I sat next to Jade in the day area of the shelter, where we both waited for our parents to pick us up.

  “Jamina was strange, huh?” I asked her. These were the first words that I had uttered to her since our fight at Macy’s.

  “Very,” she said.

  Honestly, I hadn’t expected her to respond, but I exhaled when she did. I was glad to have a conversation with her again, even if it was just a few words. Although I would never admit it, I missed her. And somehow I could tell that she missed me, too.

  “Uncle Ernest is here,” I said when I saw her father pull up.

  “Thanks,” she said and zipped her coat up. “I’ll see you.”

  I watched as my ex–best friend ran outside, hopped into the back of her daddy’s SUV. Life was tricky sometimes.

  twenty-nine

  Tameka

  Roni’s bags sat at the front door, right next to mine. She was already up, showered, dressed and ready to go. Her nerves were on edge, wondering how my mother was going to pull this off. I wondered, too. My mother wasn’t Aunt Helen’s favorite person, and I wondered how she was going to convince Aunt Helen to let her take her only daughter to Atlanta to live with us. I didn’t see Aunt Helen agreeing to such a deal. But Mommy had promised that she’d handle it, so I had faith that she would.

  “Are we ready to go, girls?” Mommy asked as we both came down the stairs.

  Confused, we looked at each other and both answered, “Yes, ma’am.”

  Aunt Helen came out of the kitchen, carrying a cup of coffee. I braced myself for the confrontation that was about to take place.

  “Did you pack your inhaler?” Aunt Helen asked Roni. “I know you haven’t had an attack in a long time, but you never know.”

  It was no secret that Roni was prone to have an occasional asthma attack. She’d just about grown out of it, but every now and then the asthma would flare up. Aunt Helen seemed agreeable to Roni going back with us, and I was shocked. What had my mother said to her?

  “I got it in my bag,” Roni said. She was just as shocked as I was. I could see it on her face.

  “I’ll load the bags into the car,” Daddy called. He came out of the kitchen and picked up my overnight bag on wheels and Roni’s, too. Took them to the car.

  Aunt Helen grabbed Roni’s face in her hands and said, “You’re gonna finish the school year out in Atlanta with Tameka. You’ll stay with Aunt Mel and Uncle Paul for a while, and when school’s out, I’ll send for you.”

  Roni nodded a yes.

  “You already know to behave yourself, right?” Aunt Helen brushed her fingers through Roni’s bangs on her forehead.

  “Yes,” replied Roni.

  “Roni’s never a problem at our house, Helen. She’ll be just fine,” Mommy said, with such confidence.

  She had taken care of things just like she’d promised. But how? What had taken place between Mommy and Aunt Helen between last night and the crack of dawn this morning? And what was going to change by the time school was out in a few months?

  Daddy came back in for the second round of bags and loaded them into the car. Roni and I went into the kitchen, pulled cereal bowls from the shelf and poured two bowls of Froot Loops. I grabbed the carton of milk out of the refrigerator and poured some into each bowl. I took a seat next to Roni at the breakfast table.

  “What do you think happened?” I whispered.

  “I don’t know, but something’s strange,” Roni whispered. “She’s not even trippin’, like she normally does.”

  “I’m just glad you don’t have to stay here,” I told her.

  “Me, too.” She smiled and danced in her seat. “I’m going to the A.”

  “I can’t wait to show you around my school,” I told her. “It’s too late for you to get on the dance team, but I’ll introduce you to all my friends. They’re cool.”

  She smiled. “I feel like I can breathe now. I don’t know what Aunt Mel did, but I’m forever grateful. And I’m glad you told her. I was mad at you at first, but now I’m glad.”

  “Me, too.” I stuffed a spoonful of Froot Loops into my mouth. “Now if I can just figure out a solution to my little issue.”

  “I got your back, Tameka. Whatever you decide, I’m there for you,” she promised.

  I smiled. I was grateful, because I was going to need all the help I could get for this one.

  In the backseat of the car, Roni’s head bounced against the window, her mouth wide open, with light snores escaping from her chafed lips. I nudged her just so she would stop storing. She sat up, looked around and then was at it again. I opened my cell phone. Sent Vance a text.

  Good morning, I said.

  Same 2 u.

  On my way home.

  Cool, he responded.

  Missed u. It was true. I had.

  Ditto, he texted back.

  I wondered how he would feel about being a father. Wondered if he knew that his life was about to change drastically right before his eyes. It was just last night that I’d finally built up the nerve to tell Vance my news. I’d decided that I owed him at least the privilege of knowing the truth. It was the right time. I needed his input. We needed to make a decision together. I had waited until it was late, until everyone in the house was asleep and I could barely hear a peep. I had crept into the small bathroom, shut and locked the door behind me. Dialed Vance’s number. It had rung three times before he finally picked up.

  “What’s up?” he’d asked.

  “Were you sleep?” I had whispered, careful not to wake anyone in the house.

  “A little bit,” he’d said. “What’s up?

  “I just wanted to talk to you.” I could’ve blurted it out right then. Could’ve told him about the life that was growing in my stomach, but I didn’t. Instead, I’d beaten around the bush. “How was school today?”

  “It was cool. The usual. Nothing special,” he’d said. “You went to your grandfather’s funeral?”

  “Yeah. It was sad,” I’d told him. “I tried calling you earlier. I had something I wanted to tell you.”

  “I wanted to call you earlier, too, but didn’t know if it was a good time,” he’d said. “I had something to tell you, too.”

  “What was it?”

  “You go first,” he’d offered.

  “No, you go first,” I’d said. “Mine can wait.”

  “Grambling offered me a scholarship.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Got my letter today.”

  “For real?” I was excited for him.

  “Yeah, I even told my father that I wasn’t going to med school. Told him that I wanted to be a lawyer.”

  “Really? How did he take it?”

  “He rolled with it,” Vance had said.

  “That’s cool, boo. I’m so happy for you!” It was the best news I’d heard all weekend.

  “Yeah, I’m happy, too,” he’d said. “Now what was your news?”

  There was no way I could rain on his parade.

  “Never mind,” I said. “
It’s nothing compared to your news. I’m proud of you.”

  “Thank you,” he’d said.

  “Well, I gotta go. I’m sorry I woke you up. Hope you can go back to sleep,” I’d said. “Text me if you can’t.”

  “Okay, I will,” he’d said. “Can’t wait until you get home. I need to see you.”

  “I need to see you, too,” I’d said. “Text me later. I’ll wait up.”

  “Bye.”

  When I’d hung up the phone, I’d known that this was going to be much harder than I thought it would be. Vance needed to know, but the timing was definitely not right.

  That was last night, and today was a new day. Today I would have to tell Vance the truth. He needed to know as soon as possible. I shut my phone and stuck it inside my Coach purse. Decided to join Roni in sleep land. With my head against the back of the leather seat, I shut my eyes. Hoped for sweeter dreams.

  thirty

  Tameka

  Roni and I changed the sheets on the bed in the guest bedroom, even though I knew she would end up sleeping in the extra twin bed in my room. We still went through the motions. Whenever she stayed with us, she took the guest bedroom, but we always ended up talking until the wee hours of the morning, and she would just crash in my room. She headed for the shower, and I pulled out my cell phone. Dialed Vance’s number. He had to be told once and for all. There was no way around it.

  “You’re home?” he said when he picked up the phone. “Your pops must’ve been doing about a hundred on the highway.”

  “He was doing the speed limit.” I smiled. It was good hearing Vance’s voice and knowing that we were in the same state again.

  “I can’t wait to see you at school tomorrow,” he said. “I miss your pretty face.”

  “Remember last night…when I said I had something to tell you?”

  “Yeah. What’s up with that?” he asked.

  “It’s not good. I hope you’re sitting down.” I took a long breath, gathered my courage.

  “What is it, Tameka? You’re scaring me.”

  “Remember when we did…you know…it.”

  “How could I forget?” he asked. “It was the best night of my life. Even though I got my butt chewed out when I got home. It was still a special moment.”

  “Vance, I think I’m pregnant.”

  There was a long silence. It was as if he’d hung up the phone or something. I knew he was still there, because I could hear him breathing, but there were no words spoken. I needed for him to say something. Anything.

  “For real?” he finally asked.

  “Yeah, for real,” I said reluctantly. I wished it wasn’t for real. Wished it was a joke or a hoax, but it was real for now. It was real according to a home pregnancy test. “I took a pregnancy test the other day. The kind you get at Walgreens. It was positive. Also, my menstrual cycle is late. Eleven days to be exact.”

  “This is pretty heavy for me right now, Tameka. I don’t know what to say.”

  “I know. It’s pretty heavy for me, too,” I said.

  “Is it mine?” He asked those three little words. Words that suddenly ripped my heart apart. Did he have to ask? Didn’t he know that I didn’t give it up to just anybody?

  “Yes, it’s yours! Who else’s would it be?” I was hurt. Wanted to wrap my fingers around his throat and choke some sense into him.

  “I don’t know. My dad warned me about girls that try to trap you. Especially when you’re trying to do something with your life,” he rambled. “I just told you last night that I got a scholarship to Grambling, and now, the next day, you come at me with this pregnancy stuff.”

  “The only reason I didn’t tell you last night was that I didn’t want to ruin your night. You were so excited about your acceptance letter, and I didn’t want to rain on your parade,” I tried to explain.

  “I just need to think things through, Tameka,” he said. “You got my head all messed up.”

  “My head is messed up, too. This is not just my problem, Vance. This is our problem.”

  “I need to call you back,” he said, “I need to think.”

  There was silence for a moment. This was not how things should be. His response was not what I’d expected. I needed to keep him on the line. Needed to know that he was there for me, that I wasn’t in this alone.

  “Call me later,” I begged.

  He never said another word. Just hung up the phone. I’d never felt more alone in my entire life, and I wanted to crawl underneath my bed and never come out. Instead, I cried. Cried harder than I had before, until there were no more tears.

  At my locker, I pulled my coat off and hung it on the hook, grabbed my red spiral notebook and my Spanish book. I was tired. I’d stayed up most of the night, wondering if Vance would call back like he’d promised. He hadn’t, and I’d finally dozed off at about three o’clock, the Quiet Storm playing in my ear the whole time. Crying wasn’t going to change my circumstances, so I’d stopped that long before 3:00 a.m., but I’d still been wide-awake. My head hurt, and I wasn’t feeling Spanish at all. I’d thrown up twice before I’d left the house, and it felt as if I was about to puke again at any moment. Roni had convinced me that it was nothing more than morning sickness. Whatever type of sickness it was, I wished it would go away.

  Vance approached, wearing a pair of navy-blue jeans and an oversize Sean John shirt. His sneakers looked as if he’d just cleaned them with a toothbrush. He looked just as worn-out as I did, with bloodshot eyes and bags underneath them. He’d graduated from his crutches and was simply wearing a funny-looking shoe on his foot instead.

  “Hey, what’s up?” he said once he got close.

  What did he think was up? Nothing had changed since last night.

  “Nothing.” I had an attitude. My morning had been just as lousy as his.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you back last night,” he said.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “It’s just that you caught me off guard and everything…you know, with this whole baby thing,” he said. “I needed to think things through a little bit.”

  “Well, good. I’m glad you had time to think,” I said and slammed my locker shut, walked away from Vance. “I don’t really have that kind of time. I’ve got to make some decisions about my life, and I have to do it now.”

  “If you need money for an abortion, I can probably get it for you this week. I get an allowance, plus I got my dad’s credit card.”

  “I haven’t decided if that’s what I want to do yet,” I explained.

  “What do you mean?” he asked. “You’re not really considering having it, are you?”

  “I don’t know yet,” I explained. “I don’t really believe in abortion.”

  “You mentioned that you did a home pregnancy test. Have you considered going to a real doctor? Someone who can give you a second opinion?”

  “I have an appointment this afternoon at the free clinic,” I explained.

  “You want me to go with you?” he asked.

  “Only if you want to, Vance,” I said. “Don’t let me twist your arm or anything.”

  “No…I want to go,” Vance stated. “I should be there with you.”

  Those were just the words that I needed to hear. I needed to know that he had my back.

  In the waiting room at the free clinic, babies cried and toddlers ran around in soggy Pampers, which needed to be changed. Some woman spoke Spanish to her child and grabbed her by the arm. The woman seated across from us wore a frown on her face. She held an ice pack on her forehead, while the man seated next to her snored loudly, his head bouncing against the wall, as he waited for the nurse to call his name.

  “This place is disgusting,” Vance whispered. “Why did you come here?”

  “It’s not like I can go to my regular doctor’s office,” I explained. “She knows my parents too well. They’ve been on cruises together. I need to do this privately.”

  “What if it turns out that you’re pre
gnant? What do we do then?” Vance asked.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far,” I said.

  A wrinkle in his forehead, Vance nervously rested his elbows on his knees and intertwined his fingers. I could imagine that his heart was beating at maximum speed.

  “Tameka Brown?” the nurse called.

  It was finally my turn. I hopped from my seat, and Vance sat still. I gave him a puzzled look, wondered why he just sat there.

  “What? You want me to come?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  Together, my hand in his, we followed the nurse to a small room, where she handed me a plastic cup with my name on it.

  “You can step right in there and urinate in the cup,” she said and pointed toward the ladies’ restroom. “When you’re done, just slip the cup into the little cubbyhole, and the doctor will see you in a moment.”

  I did as she’d instructed: I urinated into the cup, tightened the lid and slipped the cup into the cubbyhole. I washed my hands and then joined Vance in the examination room, where he had patiently waited for me. We were silent as he flipped through an American Baby magazine. I examined the posters on the walls; one of them showed the stages of pregnancy and described what to expect during each stage. After a few minutes, there was a light tap on the door.

  “Miss Brown?” said a foreign doctor as he stepped inside.

  “Yes, that’s me.” I gave a fake smile.

  He offered his hand. “I’m Dr. Lei.”

  “Glad to meet you.” I shook Dr. Lei’s hand. “This is my boyfriend, Vance.”

  He shook Vance’s hand and then took an ink pen out of the pocket of his jacket. Pulled out a notepad and began scribbling something on it.

  “I’m writing you a prescription for prenatal vitamins,” he began. “You are in your first trimester, of course.”

  “So I am pregnant?” I asked.

  “Yes, you are pregnant,” Dr. Lei said. “Seven weeks to be exact. I would like to get you started on the prenatal vitamins right away, and you should make an appointment to come back in about thirty days.”