There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

by Shawn Lane

  He blinked rather slowly. “Hey.”

  “Listen, I want to fuck you so bad I can barely think straight,” I admitted. “But you’ve had a bit to drink and I need to know. Do you…can I?”

  For a long time, at least thirty seconds, he stared at me. I couldn’t read the expression in his eyes. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking and I started to panic.

  “Yes,” he whispered.

  A heavy breath shuddered out of me and I could swear I was shaking. I leaned down and kissed him softly, my fingers caressing his jawline.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I hurried over to my suitcase and unzipped the inside pocket where I kept lube and condoms. When I returned to the bed holding the goods, Connor was leaning up on his elbows. He frowned.

  “You had those with you?”

  I felt my cheeks heat and cleared my throat. “Actually I always keep some in my suitcase for when I travel. I go to New York and Paris several times a year for my fashion line. I like to be prepared.”

  Connor bit his lip, doubt clouding his eyes. My chest tightened as I was completely convinced he would tell me he changed his mind.

  “Connor, I—”

  “Come and kiss me, Mac.”

  Flooded with relief, I quickly stripped out of my slacks, briefs, and shirt. I folded them and laid them on a nearby chair. Now the only thing between me and Connor were those damn painted on jeans. I knelt on the mattress and fused my lips to his soft plump ones.

  My cock leaked pre-cum against his leg and he shifted under me, his hand inching between our bodies to close around my hard shaft.

  Damn.

  Deepening the kiss, I swirled my tongue with his, and tugged once more at the fastening of his jeans.

  “Lift up, Connie,” I said, nibbling on his bottom lip.

  He did and I peeled the tight jeans down off his ass, blinking rapidly when I noticed he’d gone commando. Shit. Well, it made sense considering how tight the damn jeans had been, but holy fuck.

  Once I had discarded them, I took several more sips of his lips before I flipped him onto his stomach. Raining kisses down his spine, I stopped just above his tight round ass cheeks. They were fucking perfection. I darted my tongue along the crease as little goose bumps formed on those plump mounds.

  I shifted just enough to get my hand between me and the bed and I stroked my aching cock as I continued teasing the crease of his ass with the tip of my tongue. When I reached his hole, I slipped my tongue inside, laving it until Connor quivered under me like a bowl full of jelly.

  “Mac, please,” he whimpered into the mattress.

  “What do you want, honey?”

  Connor shook his head. “I-I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.” I squeezed a cheek and speared him with my tongue again.

  “Ahhh,” Connor gasped, trembling all over. “Please.”

  That pleading sent a jolt from the tip of my cock straight to my balls. A begging Connor was so damn hot I almost shot right then.

  “Please, Mac. Fuck me.”

  My eyes clenched shut and my heart beat so fast I thought it might burst from my chest. If any words had ever affected me more, I couldn’t remember them.

  “Yes,” I whispered and sat back on my haunches and reached for a condom. I tore it open with shaking hands, rolling it on clumsily.

  Connor’s face was turned to the right and for a few seconds I stared at him. His flushed cheeks, his slightly parted lips, those long lashes, that mop of dark hair. My heart squeezed and I wondered why I never realized before now how precious he really was. How could I be so blind?

  Those impossibly long lashes lifted. “Mackenzie?”

  “Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “Just a second.”

  Grabbing the lube, I squirted out a generous amount and slipped my index finger inside him. It slid in fairly easily since I’d wet him with my saliva. I added a second finger and pumped them within him.

  I noticed his hand working his dick and decided I couldn’t wait to be inside him any longer. I withdrew my fingers and slathered more lube over my sheathed cock.

  It took me two tries to push in I was shaking so much, but when I thrust past the tight ring of muscle, extreme pleasure flared through every nerve ending in my body. Nothing would ever be this good. No one.

  He was so tight, perfect. Gripping his hips, I pushed in all the way, feeling his muscles squeeze all around me. I slammed into him again and again, the old guesthouse bed creaking from action it might never have known before.

  Every whimper, every moan that escaped from Connor’s lips drove me deeper until we were both soaked with sweat. I wanted it to last forever and each time I felt close to coming, I would back off, slow down, make it last that much longer.

  Then Connor tensed under me and he yelled my name into the mattress. The smell of his cum sent me into a tailspin and I pumped his ass hard and fast, riding him until I shouted my own release.

  § § §

  I woke to an empty bed, sunlight streaming in through the window blinds. I spread my fingers over the space where Connor had once been.

  After the first time, we’d taken a shower together, one where he’d knelt before me and sucked my cock deep, I came so hard he brought me to my knees. Before dawn, we woke and made love again.

  I touched my lips with my fingertips. I could still feel his lips, taste him.

  “Connor?”

  When he didn’t respond, I swung my legs out of bed, and pulled on a bathrobe. I thought maybe he’d gone to make coffee or something, so I headed out to the kitchen but he wasn’t there. I was the only one in the guesthouse.

  I didn’t allow myself to worry yet. Okay, maybe a little. I knew we needed to do some talking. Which I dreaded. I didn’t do serious conversations well. And this one promised to be a doozy. I just hoped he hadn’t bailed on me.

  I took a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and headed to the main house.

  Suzy sat on the sofa in the family room making some sort of Christmas thingy. She was surrounded by wrapping paper. My sister, older than me by three years, shared the same auburn colored hair and pert little nose I had. She looked up and smiled.

  “Good morning, Mackenzie.”

  “Morning. Have you seen Connor? He left our bed this morning.”

  She raised an eyebrow when I said our bed. Smirking, she said, “He’s in the kitchen having breakfast.”

  “Oh.” I exhaled, glad he hadn’t caught a cab to the airport or something. “Thanks.”

  I headed for the kitchen and didn’t miss the fact Suzy had decided to follow me. Sure enough, Connor sat at the little round dining room table in the breakfast nook. Sitting with him were Mom, Karl, and Rick. The table had been set with what looked like fresh baked cinnamon rolls, coffee, and orange juice.

  “Oh, here’s the sleepyhead,” Mom said, smiling. “Want some coffee?”

  “No. Connor, what are you doing here?”

  Karl lifted a mug of coffee to his lips and took a drink. “He’s having breakfast. We’re all going Christmas shopping.”

  “Can we talk?” I asked, looking only at Connor, who appeared to have taken quite a bit of interest in a piece of cinnamon roll.

  “Can’t it wait until after shopping?” Mom asked.

  “No. Connor, will you come back to the guesthouse with me so we can talk?”

  Mom frowned. “But it’s Christmas.”

  I scowled at her. “Not for two days.”

  “Well, sure, but we’ve all got shopping to do.”

  I shook my head and willed Connor to look at me. “Later. This is more important.”

  “What’s more important than Christmas?” she asked.

  “Mom, please. We aren’t in some sort of Christmas special. Connor, please?”

  Finally he met my gaze but I couldn’t read his look. He nodded. “Okay.”

  “Good luck,” Karl murmured.

  I rolled my eyes and decided to ignore the lot of them. I placed m
y hand on Connor’s elbow and kept it there until we made it back to the guesthouse and closed the front door.

  He turned to me then, his green eyes sorrowful. “I know what you’re going to say.”

  His stricken look gave me pause, but I motioned to the couch. “Let’s sit down.”

  Connor’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “All right.”

  Connor sat in the corner of the sofa, so I sat next to him, cutting off any chance of an escape.

  I knew I was stalling when I asked, “What do you think I’m going to say?”

  He sighed. “Last night was a one-time thing. You don’t do relationships. And you don’t want it to ruin our friendship.”

  “I see.”

  “And, actually, I agree.” He attempted a smile, or at least I thought it was supposed to be a smile, but it came out as a grimace.

  My heart almost stopped. “You do?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Look, Mac, last night we both were drinking and maybe a little lonely and it just happened. It didn’t mean anything. Let’s just pretend it never happened, do our Christmas shopping, and move on. Okay?”

  For the longest time, I just stared at him. I could swear there was buzzing in my ears and my stomach did enough flip flops to impress the finest gymnast. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not when I thought maybe I was ready again.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  “Sure. I…yeah.”

  “That is what you were going to say, right?”

  “No. But I guess it doesn’t matter now.” To my shame, I could feel the prick of tears behind my eyes. What did I expect, anyway? How many guys had I said that to? It was just a one-night thing. Didn’t mean anything. And here it was ready to bite me in the ass.

  I started to rise, but he stayed me with a hand on my leg. “What were you going to say?”

  “Connor.”

  “Please. It’s important, isn’t it?”

  I swallowed. “Yes. I just…I wanted to say that being with you last night meant a lot to me and that it wasn’t casual for me. At all.”

  His eyes widened. “It wasn’t?”

  The tears threatened to spill and with only extreme will did I fight them off. “No. I’ve been running from something more than a one night stand for years, afraid of getting hurt again.”

  “I know Paul really hurt you,” Connor said softly. “I’m glad I never knew him. I hate him.”

  “He did. I really loved him. I thought we’d be together forever.” I blew out a shaky breath. “When that didn’t happen, I guess I lost my faith that it ever would.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And even when I met you, even though you were everything I ever wanted, I wouldn’t let it happen.” I reached for his hands and gripped them in mine. “Until last night. Maybe it was the brandy, maybe it’s some sort of Christmas magic, I don’t know. But when we kissed under the mistletoe, something changed for me.”

  Connor held onto my hands tightly, his gaze boring into mine. “Are you…are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  I leaned close so our mouths were only a fraction away. “That I want you? That I want us to be together? That I love you so much my chest aches whenever you’re not with me?”

  His breath hitched, blew across my lips. “Do you? All those things?”

  “Yes, Connie. All those things. I hope I haven’t fucked things up. I hope maybe you like me enough to give me a chance.”

  He laughed then, a joyous sound, and his smile was beautiful to behold. “I like you enough, Mac.”

  “Just like?” I prodded, greedy for more. For everything.

  He touched his lips to mine, tentative at first, but then bold, kissing me hard, making my head spin. When we came up for air, he whispered, “A little more than like.”

  I sighed, figuring maybe I deserved to be tortured some. “How much more?”

  “I love you, Mac. I’ve loved you almost from the first day we met, but I didn’t think we’d ever be more than friends. But every time you talked about another hook up it hurt a little more. We come to see your family for Christmas and there’s another of your hookups.”

  I winced and leaned my forehead against his. “Karl didn’t mean a thing.”

  He shook his head. “They never do. It hurts.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Last night I admit I kept having more to drink to either give me courage or make me forget. I’m not sure which. I thought, maybe, if I could have one night with you, it would be enough.”

  Gazing directly into the prettiest green eyes I’d ever seen, so close I could make out tiny gold flecks, I whispered, “And was it?”

  “No. It’ll never be enough. Not for me.”

  “Or me.” And we were kissing again, our lips slanting over each other’s until we were breathless.

  “Okay,” I said, finally breaking our kiss. “I have to say that this is easily the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, me too.”

  The front door of the guesthouse opened suddenly and Mom stood there. She didn’t seem at all surprised to see us with our arms wrapped around each other.

  “Hey, you two, is it time for Christmas shopping or what?”

  “All right, all right. Sheesh. The stores will still have plenty of crap to buy, trust me,” I grumbled. I rose and pulled him up to stand next to me. With an arm around his waist we followed Mom outside.

  I couldn’t help thinking that maybe there really was no place like home for the holidays.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Shawn Lane writes erotic gay romances and believes love and passion know no boundaries. Happily Ever After is for everyone. Shawn lives in California and holds down a boring day job in a legal department of a giant corporation dreaming of the nights and weekends when she can create new stories. Website: authorshawnlane.com

  TRADEMARKS ACKNOWLEDGMENT

  The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

  Brawny: Georgia-Pacific

  MLR PRESS AUTHORS

  Featuring a roll call of some of the best writers of gay erotica and mysteries today!

  Derek Adams

  Z. Allora

  Maura Anderson

  Simone Anderson

  Victor J. Banis

  Laura Baumbach

  Helen Beattie

  Ally Blue

  J.P. Bowie

  Barry Brennessel

  Nowell Briscoe

  Jade Buchanan

  James Buchanan

  TA Chase

  Charlie Cochrane

  Karenna Colcroft

  Michael G. Cornelius

  Jamie Craig

  Ethan Day

  Diana DeRicci

  Vivien Dean

  Taylor V. Donovan

  S.J. Frost

  Kimberly Gardner

  Kaje Harper

  Alex Ironrod

  Jambrea Jo Jones

  DC Juris

  AC Katt

  Thomas Kearnes

  Sasha Keegan

  Kiernan Kelly

  K-lee Klein

  Geoffrey Knight

  Christopher Koehler

  Matthew Lang

  J.L. Langley

  Vincent Lardo

  Cameron Lawton

  Anna Lee

  Elizabeth Lister

  Clare London

  William Maltese

  Z.A. Maxfield

  Timothy McGivney

  Tere Michaels

  AKM Miles

  Robert Moore

  Reiko Morgan

  Jet Mykles

  William Neale

  N.J. Nielsen

  Cherie Noel

  Gregory L. Norris

  Willa Okati

  Erica Pike

  Neil S. Plakcy

  Rick R. Reed

  A.M. Riley

  AJ Rose

  Rob Rosen

  George Seaton

 
; Riley Shane

  Jardonn Smith

  DH Starr

  Richard Stevenson

  Christopher Stone

  Liz Strange

  Marshall Thornton

  Lex Valentine

  Haley Walsh

  Mia Watts

  Lynley Wayne

  Missy Welsh

  Ryal Woods

  Stevie Woods

  Lance Zarimba

  Mark Zubro

  Check out titles, both available and forthcoming, at

  www.mlrpress.com

  GLBT RESOURCES

  RAINBOW ROMANCE WRITERS

  Raising the Bar for LGBT Romance

  RRW offers support and advocacy to career-focused authors, expanding the horizons of romance. Changing minds, one heart at a time. www.rainbowromancewriters.com

  THE TREVOR PROJECT

  The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Every day, The Trevor Project saves lives though its free and confidential helpline, its website and its educational services. If you or a friend are feeling lost, alone, confused or in crisis, please call The Trevor Helpline. You’ll be able to speak confidentially with a trained counselor 24/7.

  The Trevor Helpline: 866-488-7386

  On the Web: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

  THE GAY MEN’S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROJECT

  Founded in 1994, The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community. The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services. Understanding that the serious public health issue of domestic violence is not gender specific, we serve men in relationships with men, regardless of how they identify, and stand ready to assist them in navigating through abusive relationships.

  GMDVP Helpline: 800.832.1901

  On the Web: http://gmdvp.org/

  THE GAY & LESBIAN ALLIANCE AGAINST DEFAMATION/GLAAD EN ESPAÑOL

  The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation.