Disasters in Dating

by Danielle Allen

  After I removed the facial mask from my face, we laughed and joked for about forty-five minutes, and then my best friends left. With the glasses in the sink and the living room straightened up, I had nothing left to do, but get ready for my date. With a bounce in my step, I turned and practically skipped down the hall to my bedroom. Turning on music, I set the mood to get ready for my date.

  I didn’t know why the date with Brian felt different than the date with Jayson, but it did. Something about Brian just made me feel a little giddy. It wasn’t like with Jayson where it felt serious, like I was auditioning to be his wife. It wasn’t like with Charles where it felt like the very definition of friends with benefits, like I was in for the one-night-stand of my life. With Brian, it felt natural and neutral. He wasn’t just trying to fuck me, and he wasn’t just trying to marry me. Our connection seemed authentic and I really liked what I knew of him.

  I showered, dressed, and flat ironed my hair until it was silky straight before making my way to the movie theater. The theater was only fifteen minutes away, but with no traffic, I felt like I’d arrived in three minutes. Instead of sitting in my car and waiting, I headed inside the swanky theater and found the nearest restroom.

  Staring at my reflection, I smiled at how good I looked.

  My mocha colored skin had a glow that shined brighter than ever before. My big brown eyes twinkled with a renewed hope, renewed strength, and renewed sense of self. My smile was natural and not forced like it had been for over a year. I took a step back so I could take in the sight before me. It wasn’t just that my hair was sleek and freshly trimmed and my makeup flawless. It wasn’t just that my outfit made my ass look incredible and highlighted my curves.

  I look happy.

  I’d been over my breakup with Troy for a while. I felt fully healed and ready to move on for months. But it wasn’t until I looked in the mirror in the swanky uptown movie theater bathroom that I realized that I wasn’t just moving on with my life, but I had moved on. I was happily living my life.

  Checking the time on my phone, I saw that I had ten minutes before meeting Brian and a text message from Charles.

  Charles: Ms. Journalist. I have a scoop for your next article. Let me know when you’re ready for it.

  I grinned. Charles knew I wrote for a magazine, but he didn’t know what I wrote or in what capacity I wrote. But from the first time he’d started detailing this sexual fantasy he’d crafted between us, he called me Ms. Journalist. In every one of his illicit tales, he was my boss, my coworker, or an unnamed source.

  I started to reply when I froze.

  Holy shit.

  My eyes slightly bugged out of my head as I stared at the sexy photo Charles sent. He was completely naked with just a towel covering his dick. I couldn’t see as much as I wanted to see, but from the dick print under the towel, he appeared well-endowed. He sent a similar picture three days prior, and I thought about it every time he texted me. But the picture he’d just sent was a lot sexier. Although both photos showcased his broad shoulders, wide chest, and tight core muscles covered in the most decadent of chocolate, the one he’d just sent made it clear that he was hard. And what I thought I saw in the first photo was nothing compared to what I saw in the photo he’d just sent.

  Desiree: You have a scoop for my next article? I can’t focus on what you’re asking me because I’m staring at one of the sexiest firefighters in Maryland and it’s distracting.

  Charles: If you’re distracted now, wait until I touch you.

  Desiree: I can’t let you seduce me right now. What are you doing tomorrow morning?

  Charles: Why? Is that when you’re trying to get licked?

  Desiree: I’m on a date! And I already told you several times I’m not having sex with you.

  Charles: Yes, you mentioned something about a date. I hope you’re enjoying it, but if you were, you wouldn’t be texting me. And I didn’t say anything about sex. I asked you if you were trying to get licked tomorrow morning.

  I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, but still giggled.

  If I don’t mess around with Brian tonight, it wouldn’t be messed up for me to see Charles in the morning, would it? No, no it couldn’t.

  I had a date with Jayson, and I didn’t think twice about setting up a date with Brian. Even though Jayson and I were compatible on paper and he was a really nice date, there was something about him that felt off.

  Jayson’s a little too perfect.

  He definitely didn’t make me feel the way Brian made me feel. Speaking of Brian, I flicked my eyes up to the time and saw that it was seven o’clock on the dot. I slowly made my way to the bathroom door.

  Desiree: It’s possible. I’ll think about it and let you know.

  Charles: Okay. And I’ll think about spreading those thighs and having you for breakfast in the morning.

  “Well damn,” I exhaled, trying to ignore the throbbing between my legs.

  Swallowing the desire that built within me just that quickly, from one line of one text, I set my phone on vibrate and tucked it into my handbag. I closed my eyes for a second to shake off any residual effects of the unexpected flood of feelings. Letting out the air that was trapped in my lungs, I swung the door open and exited.

  There were three men standing in a row near a column. A white man with long, fuzzy dreadlocks pulled back into a ponytail wasn’t Brian, but he was sexy as hell. He smiled at me, nodding his head in acknowledgement. I smiled back just before his date approached him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes.

  He was basically eye-fucking me as he waited for his date. What is that about? I wondered as my eyes moved to an older man.

  This man appeared to be a Pacific Islander. He was good looking, albeit a little older than what I knew Brian to be. But it was the internet, and people lied about their age, their looks, their height, their past, their current relationship status, etc., all the damn time. He looked at me, and we held eye contact for a second before he looked away without a hint of recognition.

  Okay, I guess that’s not him. I still stared at his profile as he searched the crowd for someone or something else. When a smile broke and his face lit up, I saw two elementary school aged girls run to him and hug him. Awwww, I smiled at the happy father.

  The third man, a Japanese man, was looking around, but never looked fully my way as I made my way toward him. He had a shock of black hair on the top of his head with shaved sides that matched the trendy haircut of Brian. He was facing the front door, but I could tell from his athletic build that he could’ve been the same man who went rock climbing two weeks ago. From the way his jeans and casual blue plaid top looked perfect on his body, I was pretty sure he was the same man whose favorite color was blue and wore blue ninety percent of the time. He looked at his watch and even from where I was, I could tell it was an expensive timepiece. I was quite certain it matched the description of the watch given to Brian as a recent graduation gift.

  He must’ve felt my staring as he turned and looked at me as I started to approach. As soon as our eyes locked, I brushed the lustful feelings for Charles away as flutters of excitement tickled my belly. Even though I went on a date with Jay on Friday night, it almost felt like a practice date. My date with Brian was my first official date.

  “Desiree,” Brian greeted me as I got closer. He took my extended hand and kissed it. His smile widened. “It is very nice to meet you.”

  My skin tingled where his lips left an impression. “It’s very nice to meet you as well.”

  He stared at me in awe, still holding my hand. “You are gorgeous.” His eyes crinkled in disbelief. “Wow.”

  I giggled. “Thanks. Why did you say it like that?”

  “Because I was expecting the worst.”

  “Excuse me?” I balked, eyebrows flying upward.

  He squeezed my hand to keep me from snatching it away. “No, I just mean that I’ve met women who look nothing like their photos, and I really thought you
were going to be one of them. I swear to God if you didn’t have more than one photo, I would’ve assumed you stole images from a modeling agency.”

  I laughed. “Well, I’m glad you like what you see.”

  He gave me a once-over. “Very much so.”

  “You’re looking pretty good yourself,” I replied, turning him in place with my hand so I could get a three-hundred-sixty-degree view. “Very nice.”

  He chuckled as he allowed me to parade him in a circle before he pulled my arm, gently propelling me forward and into him. Without hesitation, he slinked his arms around my waist and looked me in my eyes. It was so smooth that I had little time to think about anything or let my nerves get the best of me.

  “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you,” he whispered, staring into my eyes.

  I stared into the darkest brown eyes I’d ever seen in my life. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, too. Even though we’ve been talking for a couple of weeks now, I have to admit that I was a little nervous to meet you.”

  He pulled me closer. “I was a little nervous, but at the same time, the way we got along over the phone, the way it was so easy to talk to you, I had no doubt we’d hit it off.” He paused, bringing his face closer to mine. “I had no way of knowing you’d be this beautiful.”

  My heart rate spiked as I nodded slowly, still lost in his eyes. I couldn’t think, let alone formulate words. “Oh.”

  “I already got our tickets,” he told me, dropping his gaze to my lips momentarily.

  With his eyes no longer holding me captive, I felt my brain cells working again. I ran my tongue from one corner of my mouth to the other. “Well, let’s go see if your taste in movies is as good as your taste in women.”

  He laughed to himself, bringing his lips so close to mine that I held my breath. I felt his grip on my hips stiffen as he pulled me flush against him. “I was about to say something, but I lost my train of thought.”

  “Why?” I flirted, tilting my head sideways. “Because you’re so close to me?”

  One of his hands roamed up my side and over my shoulder before cupping my chin. When our eyes locked, my brain went to mush again.

  “No,” he said slowly, his voice deepened. “Because of this.”

  His lips brushed mine softly, seductively, but way too briefly. Butterflies lightly danced across my belly as he pulled away. He dragged his thumb over my bottom lip.

  “Now there’s nothing to be nervous about. We’ve gotten the first kiss out of the way,” he reasoned, brushing my hair over my shoulder.

  Grinning, I slipped my hand into his, intertwining our fingers as we started walking toward the theater. “That was a risky move. How did you figure you’d be able to kiss me without getting a swift kick in the ass?”

  “I didn’t. But I had to take the chance. I knew that if I didn’t kiss you right then, I would just think about it all night. And I didn’t want my preoccupation with the fullness of your lips or the way your tongue barely peeks out between your lips when you wet them to distract me from anything you have to say.”

  I giggled and gave him a look. “So, you’re saying I’m a distraction?”

  He stopped just before opening the door to theater three where our movie was showing.

  “I’m saying that you were a distraction when I just heard your voice and saw you in pictures,” Brian explained, his dark eyes penetrating me. “Now, seeing you in person, talking to you face to face, looking at the way you look at me, thinking the thoughts that seeing you has inspired… you’re not a distraction. You’re a full-blown disruption.”

  My stomach fluttered.

  He didn’t wait for a response as he opened the door and ushered me to our seats. For the ninety-four minutes of comedic gold that played out on the screen, I forgot that it was a first date. We held hands and kissed throughout the movie. We fell into an easy rhythm as we segued from the movies to an incredible dinner at a rooftop restaurant and then dancing at some dive bar that had a live band. It felt like I’d known Brian for months.

  “Thank you for a wonderful night,” I murmured as Brian and I walked hand-in-hand to my apartment door. Unlike with Jay, I allowed Brian to walk me to my actual door and not just the door to the building. I was so comfortable with him that I didn’t want the night to end. But I also didn’t want to move too fast with him.

  “Thank you for agreeing to go out with me,” Brian responded as he pulled me into him. He leaned down and let his lips hover above mine. “Thank you for making tonight special.”

  I felt dizzy.

  Brian was the first man in a long time that made me feel a spark.

  “I’m glad you didn’t wait until right now to kiss me for the first time,” I admitted breathlessly as his nose brushed against mine.

  “There’s no way I could’ve waited any longer than I did.” He ran his hand over my cheek and tangled his fingers in my hair.

  My heart pounded against my chest as his whispered words hung in the air. I swallowed hard. “You barely waited five minutes.”

  “Longest five minutes of my life.”

  “You are—”

  Crashing his lips against mine, he cut me off mid-sentence, kissing me with enough passion to take my breath away. Butterflies spread across my belly as his mouth moved over mine expertly. Brian’s tongue parted my lips, sending shivers up and down my spine. With one hand, he cradled my head and with the other hand, he gripped my hip, intensifying the kiss.

  Impulsively, I ran my hands down his muscular chest before pulling at his belt loops, forcing his body to be flush against mine. Feeling his hardness through the thin material of my outfit, I deepened the kiss. His moan caused a vibration that rippled through my body and caused me to wrap my arms around him and hold on tightly.

  We’d discussed not moving too fast since it was the first date. We’d discussed a willingness to get to know each other. But most importantly, we’d discussed not sleeping together until after he had the results of his STD screening. We’d discussed a lot, but in one kiss, Brian had cleared my head of any and all discussions.

  I just knew one thing—I felt faint.

  “Are you sure?” he murmured between kisses that made my knees weak.

  The only thing I was sure of was that regardless of what my mind was saying, my body wanted all of him.

  His tongue grazed mine and my entire body felt it. The kiss intensified before it slowed down again. My eyes fluttered open when I felt him pull away slowly.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to come in?

  Chapter 7

  “And what happened next?” Nichelle asked, her mouth hanging open as we sat at a table in the back of the room.

  I looked around at the rest of my best friends who were on the edge of their seats as we kicked off brunch with my retelling of my dates with Jayson and Brian.

  “Nothing,” I replied as I watched the disappointment drain the flushed color from their faces. I gave them a small smile. “He asked me if I was sure that I didn’t want him to come in, and I said I was. We kissed for a few more minutes, then he went home.”

  “Damn.” Carmen shook her head as she looked at me. “Sounds like you two had real chemistry. Like magic in the bedroom chemistry. Like Bunsen burners on fire kind of chemistry.”

  “I would’ve fucked him. Because why not?” Dyani admitted, sipping her mimosa. “You’re hot and it’s about to be summertime. What other reasons are necessary?”

  “Dyani’s right,” Carmen agreed with an overzealous nod. “If you’re not looking for a boyfriend, you might as well be a ho this summer.”

  We all howled with laughter at Carmen’s joke. There weren’t many people at the little hole in the wall brunch location that was selected; however, I was certain the wait staff was enjoying our boisterous conversation and X-rated storytelling shenanigans. Two tables were occupied near the front of the restaurant so we had the entire back to ourselves.

  “No, but seriously…” Nichelle started after
she scooped a spoonful of grits into her mouth. “If you wanted to have sex with him, that would’ve been okay. You can do whatever you want to do. It’s your body.”

  “And you like him, right?” Anika asked.

  Looking at Nichelle, I nodded. “I know.” I turned my head to Anika. “Yes, I do. He’s funny, sweet, good-looking, and a lot of fun. We have a lot of chemistry. And even though I’m basically celibate because it’s been so long, we agreed to wait. We wanted to take things slow. Or at least wait until he gets his STD test results back.”

  “Wait…” Nichelle waved her hand in the air as if she were fanning smoke. “Is he getting tested because he’s thinking something might be wrong, or is he getting tested because you want proof he’s clean?” Nichelle asked, leaning forward.

  I shook my head as I shoveled another bite of mouthwatering maple drenched pancakes in my mouth. “He hasn’t been tested since his breakup with his ex-girlfriend two years ago. And he’s been with several women since then, so that’s why it was important for me to ask.”

  The easiest person that I’d ever had the conversation with was Charles. I asked him about it, and he sent me a screenshot of his patient file on his doctor’s portal database. He’d been to the doctor for STD testing a couple of months prior, but he’d had his blood tested the week before because of an incident at work.

  “Was it uncomfortable to ask him?” Anika asked.

  Shaking my head, I shrugged. “No. I just know that I have a clean bill of health and I want to keep it that way. You can’t just look at someone and tell they have something. Have you ever asked?”

  “No,” she replied almost timidly. She looked into her lap. “I never knew how to approach it.”

  “What about the rest of you?” I wondered, pointing at each of them.

  “Not as often as I should’ve,” Dyani admitted. “I prayed to the gods of my people for protection.” She gestured wildly before tilting her head back and reaching for the sky. “But in hindsight, you’re right. I should’ve been more careful.”