by S. M. Soto
“Wrong. This is a date, Bea, and you are going to knock Liam on his ass when he sees you.”
“This is not a date, Myrah. I still haven’t forgotten what I saw on Friday night.”
Myrah blows out an exasperated breath. “Bea, I want you to hear me loud and clear when I say this: Liam and Emery are not a couple. They are not an item. They aren’t anything but friends. She was drunk, and Liam was just trying to be a good guy and help her out. Don’t throw this opportunity away because you’re worried about Emery, if you hadn’t noticed, Liam only sees you. And it’s been that way for the last six years. Now, stop being such a pain and do what this fashionista says. We’ll have Li eating out of the palm of your hand in no time.” She winks conspiratorially.
I roll my eyes at her fashionista comment, feeling marginally better about what I saw on Friday.
“Fine, I’ll keep the outfit on but the heels, they have to go. I can’t even walk in them.”
Myrah tips her head up and stares at the ceiling for a beat. “Deal. Wear the Tory Burch sandals, those will give it a more casual look.”
“It’s December, Myrah. Do you want my toes to fall off?”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. Just put them on, you’ll see.”
“Can’t I just wear my knee-high boots?”
“Fine,” she sighs, and mumbles under her breath. “Joan Rivers is somewhere rolling in her grave over this.”
I choose to ignore the comment and stifle my laughter.
I study my reflection in the mirror, surprised at what I see. I turn to Myrah and we smile at each other, then scream in pure excitement. She pulls me into a hug, and squeezes. Tears prick my eyes. I sniffle back the pressure in my nose, not wanting to ruin my makeup.
“You look incredible, sister. Go get him.”
With Myrah’s clutch held tightly in my hand, I walk outside instantly spotting Liam leaning against his truck. He immediately straightens when he sees me. The look on his face has me stopping in my tracks, inhaling deep breaths to help me calm down. His gaze rakes up and down my body, eventually landing on my eyes. So much emotion swirls in those blue depths.
The earth shifts beneath my feet and the butterflies in my stomach roar like a hornet’s nest. In distressed jeans and a charcoal gray knit cardigan with black elbow patches, Liam looks incredibly handsome. Slowly, his face splits into a smile, revealing that lone dimple in his cheek, and I feel myself falling—falling back under the spell that is Liam Falcon.
Somehow, we’re standing toe to toe, silently staring at each other. Emotions flicker across his face, but it’s impossible to pin it down to just one.
“You are so beautiful, Bea.”
His fingers sift through my curled hair. He rests both of his hands on my neck, the warmth radiating off him makes my body break out in hot flashes. Leaning forward slowly, he kisses my forehead, resting his lips there for a beat.
“Hungry?” he asks, pulling away.
Not for food.
Biting my bottom lip, I nod my head, too afraid to speak. His lips lift into that crooked grin that I love as he tugs me toward his truck.
After helping me in, he revs the engine to life, turns on the radio and takes off. Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur comes on the radio and I close my eyes, a small smile tipping the corners of my lips. This song always makes my heart ache in the best of ways. It reminds me of Liam.
“I love this song,” I whisper, mouthing the chorus. Liam turns to me with a smile and turns up the radio allowing me to enjoy the song while it lasts.
Lush green trees whip past the window in quick succession. I perk up when I see a sign that reads, Welcome to Upper Lake. I turn to Liam with furrowed brows.
“Where are we going?”
“You ever been to the Boathouse Bar?” he asks, turning to look at me. I shake my head no, and he grins. “Well, that’s where I’m taking you, beautiful.”
The restaurant is gorgeous. It looks exactly like a shabby boathouse on the outside, but the views inside and on the deck are incredible. Seated along the railing over the lake we have a wonderful view of the water. It’s a little chilly being this close to the lake, but with a roaring glass fire pit and gas lamps surrounding us, the breeze is welcome as it cools my flushed skin.
The sun hangs low in the sky, misshaped cotton clouds do their best to cover the gleams of light.
“So, where’s Emery?” I try to ask casually but fail, miserably. His lip quirks and he runs his hand through his wayward hair.
“She’s still here, at Myrah’s. She knows how I feel about you, and I want you to understand that she’s been a very close friend for a long time. There’s nothing romantic going on there.”
I blow out a relieved breath at his declaration.
“How did you two meet each other?”
It’s risky. Asking a question like this. A part of me doesn’t want to know, but a bigger part of me, the one that has been in love with Liam for six long years, needs to know. Emotions flit across his face and my chest tightens at his response.
“I met her about three years ago. She works closely with me and a few other people I know. I—” he cuts himself off, pressing his lips together as he thinks carefully on how to say whatever it is he’s thinking. “We weren’t always the friends we are now. Emery came into my life at a time I was…a time I was being young and dumb.”
I steel myself for his next words. I know they’re coming. I can practically feel the harsh blow of them—like a sock to the gut. I clasp my palms together, interlinking my fingers in anticipation. My nails dig into the skin of my hands painfully.
“I want to be honest with you, Bea. I have slept with Emery. It’s never been anything serious between us, and I know that sounds horrible, but it’s the truth. After you, I couldn’t bring myself to move onto a serious relationship.”
My chest splinters with pain. It causes my eyes to glass over with tears. God, why did knowing he’s been with someone else have to hurt so much? I blink rapidly, trying to force the tears back, because this isn’t the time to cry. I can’t be angry at him for trying to move on while I was stuck here. This isn’t his fault. I have to remember that.
Liam reaches out for me, his warm hand engulfs both of mine and he squeezes, urging me to look up at him. I see the torment in his bright, intricate eyes. He hates that he’s hurting me with the truth. “I’m saying this because I don’t ever want to see that look on your face again. I hate that I’m the one putting it there, sweet girl. The other night, when you saw what you did, it wasn’t what it looked like. And I wish I can go back and stop you from witnessing any of it, but I can’t. All I can do is tell you the truth. There’s only one woman I want and she’s sitting right across from me. She’s the only one I’ve wanted since I laid eyes on her, nine years ago.”
There’s a paradox happening in my chest. His words make my heart beat faster and slower, even though they hurt. I hate that we’ve lost so much time together. I hate that I’m so messed up now. And what’s more? I hate that someone else has had a piece of him. It’s only ever been Liam. That will never change. I just wish the truth didn’t hurt so much. But his words also fill my chest with warmth. It curls inside, hugging my battered organs. Even after everything, Liam still wanted me, and I wasn’t sure how to process that.
“So, there’s nothing going on between you two?” My voice doesn’t even sound like my own at this point. I sound like a wounded child. And I hate it. I hate that this is what Connor has turned me into.
“It’s only ever been you, sweet B,” Liam assures as he slides his free hand up my neck and caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb. My eyes flutter closed, and I lean into his touch. Relishing in his words and the warmth of his skin on mine. They mirror how I feel about him.
I nod my head, accepting the truth for what it is. I can’t dwell on his past. He’s here now, with me, and that’s all that should matter. I clear my throat, easily changing the subject, eager to move on from Em
ery.
The conversation between us flows easily as we wait for our food to be delivered. Liam must notice how nervous I am because he cracks a few jokes that make me laugh. The tension in my shoulders melts away and I couldn’t be more thankful to him for reading me so well. He’s always been so attuned to me and my needs. I guess even that hasn’t changed after six years.
Over the course of the dinner, we share heated looks that send my heart into a fluttering mess. His hand lightly grazes mine, and instead of freezing up and pulling away, I allow him to entwine our fingers together. The small act of intimacy makes me smile.
When dessert is served, we share a decadent piece of tiramisu. Liam seductively slides the fork in my mouth, and my belly clenches with desire. A swirl of warmth laps at my womb and I clench my legs together, trying to stave off the need. Ever so lightly Liam swipes his thumb across the corner of my lip and slowly brings it to his mouth sucking off the mascarpone frosting. My breath catches, and I just about spontaneously combust on the spot.
After dinner, Liam takes us to see a movie. It takes me back to six years ago, when we used to be horny teenagers constantly trying to cop a feel. If I had to tell you what movie we watched and what it was about, I wouldn’t be able to do it. The way Liam kissed me in the theatre made me feel like a normal girl. A girl without problems. A girl that isn’t broken. Liam Falcon always had a way of making me feel beautiful. And tonight? I felt like I was on top of the world.
With my hand clasped firmly in his, resting on the center console of his truck, Liam drives us back home. Or at least that’s what I think, until he turns down Orchid Street and our grass field comes into view. I turn to him with a smile, unable to hold back my grin.
“C’mon, the night isn’t over yet.”
He helps me out of the truck and grabs a few blankets for us. We lay in contented silence staring up at the stars, our hands the only part of us touching. He caresses my hand with his thumb, sending delicious shivers through my body. Goosebumps pebble over my skin as his fingers trail up my arm, caressing my skin ever so lightly. I release a contented sigh. My eyes flutter closed against the long dormant desire brimming to the surface.
Unable to handle his soft petting anymore, I summon the courage to lean over him and kiss him. The second our lips touch, a current of electricity rushes through me. Tingles travel down my body, from head to toe when his tongue slips into my mouth. An involuntary moan escapes, spurring Liam on. He grips the sides of my face, kissing me like a man starved. His tongue tangles with mine in an erotic dance and I can’t get enough. In one smooth movement, he rolls me onto my back and hovers over me, never once taking his mouth off mine.
I was worried that having his weight on top of me would remind me of Connor, but I was wrong. Everything was always different with Liam. He made me forget about Connor and the horrendous things he’s done to me over the years. He made me feel safe and treasured. Each kiss from Liam made me feel beautiful, cherished, sexy, and wanted. He made me feel like I was me again.
When his hips roll over mine, hitting my sensitive nub, I freeze. Locking eyes with him. It feels amazing, yet foreign. I want more, but don’t know what to do. I’m so overwhelmed with all the myriad of sensations he’s igniting in my body. My hands slide into Liam’s hair of their own accord, and I tug lightly, spurring him on. His hips seductively roll over mine, eliciting delicious sensations in my core. I feel my impending orgasm build and build until I’m on the cusp, ready to explode. The friction is suddenly all too much, I can’t handle the sensations he has running rampant through my body. When his hips roll one final time, I fall over the proverbial ledge and breathe out a moan. With my fingers digging into his shoulders, I feel a single tear escape, and I can’t explain why it’s there. I don’t know how to feel.
Liam hovers over me, running his hand through my hair softly. The pads of his finger wipe away the tear and I shift my gaze to his worried blues.
“Please tell me this is a happy tear, Bea.”
His eyes look tortured and worried. I hate seeing that look on him, so I take his hand in mine and bring it to my lips, kissing gently.
“It was perfect. It was overwhelming. It was everything,” I whisper, trying to reassure him. He eyes me warily for a beat, shakes his head like he’s trying to clear his thoughts, then kisses my forehead the way he always does. It still makes my heart flutter each and every time he does it.
For the remainder of the night, we both watch the stars and listen to the crickets sing around us. With my head on his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart lulls me into a peaceful sleep. I dream of more moments like this with Liam, and less about Connor and the vile memories he’s imprinted onto my soul.
When I come to, Liam’s arms are wrapped snugly around me. I realize he’s carrying me from the field to his truck. He gently tucks me into the seat, buckles my seatbelt before heading home. When he pulls up in front of my house, a wave of melancholy overwhelms me. I don’t want this day with him to end. My gaze drifts to my house and when I see his car back in the driveway a shiver of dread runs through me. Today has been so perfect, I just pray Connor won’t ruin it.
Liam walks me to the door with his warm, calloused hand wrapped tightly around mine. He squeezes, bringing my attention to him.
“Thank you,” I whisper, smiling up at him shyly. He runs his fingers through my loosened curls and snakes his hand around my neck. With a gentle tug, he closes the distance between us and kisses me. My hands find their way to his chest, and I fist the soft material of his shirt in my hands. The force of my erratically beating heart wrecks-havoc on my ability to breathe, making my lungs work overtime. We both pull away from each other with heaving chests and lust filled eyes.
“Don’t thank me. I want more days like today. Only if that’s something you want.”
A huge grin spreads across my face. “I’d love that.”
With another breath stealing kiss, we begrudgingly part ways. When the warmth of his body leaves mine, I have to fight back the urge to cry out and beg him to stay.
Once inside, I walk into my room with a grin on my face, feeling high off life—that was the Liam Falcon effect. I place Myrah’s clutch on my vanity and just as I’m about to strip out of my clothes, I’m shoved roughly from behind. Unprepared, I lose my footing and my head smashes straight into the glass mirror of the vanity. My face explodes in pain as the glass shatters around us. It’s deafening. My hands slip against the jagged slivers, and shakily I bring them up to my head ignoring the blood smeared on them.
“He can’t save you. He won’t want you after he finds out what a whore you’ve been, sweet little Bea.” Connor grates out in my ear, his volatile anger permeating the air. He fists a handful of my hair and drags me to the bed. A sob tears through the air, cracking in my chest. I suck in a breath but its futile, I still can’t breathe.
“Please, Connor,” I whimper, not wanting him to ruin this night for me. Ignoring my plea, he grapples at the material of my romper, tearing it down the back when he can’t find a way to slide the zipper down quick enough. I hear the rustle of his pants and like a switch going off, I start fighting against his hold. He puts all his weight on my back, shoving me deeper into the mattress. My face is smashed against the sheets making it nearly impossible to breathe. The comforter swallows up my cries.
The moment he enters me, a little piece of me dies, just like it always does. But this time is different. This was a piece that I had gained back from Liam, and Connor took it from me. It was a new low. I cry out in pain at the force of his thrusts. Easing my head up, I stare at my bedroom door blankly as the tears stream down my face. I feel nothing as he uses my body. All I’m able to do is pray for an end—a way out. I can’t keep doing this. Not anymore. After cutting myself in one of my weakest moments, I promised myself I’d never do it again if the thought arose, but right now? I’m willing to let my inner self down and break that promise as my only means of escape.
Movement at my door snaps m
e back to reality.
I knew it was bound to happen. It was just a matter of time. Sometimes, I wished it would happen sooner, but never in all my life did I want it like this.
“What the fuck?” Jenny whispers in horror, her eyes honing on me and Connor. At the sound of her voice, Connor freezes, but makes no move to apologize or explain to her. Her eyes drift from us to the shattered mirror then back. Tears course down her cheeks and for a second, I think she’s going to rip into Connor, but instead she swings her murderous gaze to me and my heart stops.
“After everything I’ve done for you? You screw him behind my back?” she chokes. “You…you, filthy whore.”
My stomach drops.
I suck in a sharp breath and frantically shake my head. Tears stream down my cheeks as I try to find my voice to explain that it’s Connor, all him, but I can’t. My throat is so thick, clogged with tears, I can’t even speak.
Jenny runs from the room just as Connor releases me. A sob rips through my chest and I scramble to my feet, righting my clothes, running after her, trying to make this right.
“Jenny!” I cry out after her as I run through the wide open front door. The cold air breezes through the torn clothes, making me shiver. She whirls around, pinning me with a hateful stare as she stands in front of her car.
“Please,” I whisper. “Let me explain,” I choke out.
I don’t expect her to do what she does next. Within seconds she’s in front of me and her hand strikes me across my face. I stumble back at the force of the blow, flicking my wide eyes to hers. The slap stings, making my left cheek feel like it’s on fire.
“I loved you like a little sister.” Her voice trembles and I hear the hurt in her tone, clear as day. Not able to muster the strength to speak, she spins on her heels and climbs into her car peeling out of the driveway.
I’m vaguely aware of pounding footsteps but I’m too focused on Jenny’s retreating tail lights to pay any attention. A helpless sob rips through my chest at my only chance at freedom. She was the only one who could’ve helped me, and she misread the entire situation.