by M. E. Gordon
I see him, right now I see Kane Lawson. Not the wanna be rock star, the playboy or the pain in my ass. Just like that first night when he carried me to bed, I saw him, nervous and kind. Tonight he was honoring my virtue, as absurd as that sounded. He was being vulnerable for the second time tonight. It had taken everything in me to walk away and say the things I had said up in my room. Thanks to his smart-ass mouth, I was able to get back in the right frame of mind. The frame of mind that avoided the type of feelings that Kane was bringing to the surface. Hearing him say he’d give up his lifestyle for me, that’s not what I wanted, but was it romantic as hell? Yes. Did he have me rethinking everything? Fuck, yes. But I didn’t want him to be remorseful of having to give up a part of himself. That’s what happened with my parents, and I would not make the same mistakes.
I was not turning into her. I was not going to let that happen. I cared too much about my dad and myself to let that happen. She was weak, and I’d be damned if I was going to walk down that path. I was a strong, independent woman. I’d keep fighting these feeling I had for Kane, because I knew that, in the end, neither one of us was going to be happy. I just needed to keep telling myself that.
“Kitty?” Trent said, pulling me out of my own thoughts. I turned and looked up into his brown eyes, as he held on to my shoulder. “You okay?” he asked again.
“She’s fine,” Kane said, walking up behind us. “She just had a lapse in judgment, realized that Nate wasn’t the man she thought he was. Game on, boys, Kitty’s frisky and looking for a tomcat to play with.”
There it was, typical asshole Kane.
“Kane’s right, Trent,” I said, looking up at him, “Tonight’s your lucky night. I’m giving out kisses for free.” I grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled his large frame down, pressing my lips against his. I gave him one hell of a kiss, a kiss I knew he’d been dreaming about.
The loud hoots and hollers came from all the guys, except Kane. I wanted there to be something behind that kiss, just like I wanted there to be something behind the kiss I had with Nate, but there was nothing. This was usually good. This meant I could shag ’em and leave ’em. Sure, it was a nice kiss, but there wasn’t a spark, or sense of future, like the one I had with Kane. It was just a kiss. I was glad, but this only made things worse, because kissing Kane and having the feelings I did, just justified that I needed to stay away, and deep down I didn’t want to stay away. I was going to have to endure lack-luster kisses for the rest of my life. Fuck you, Kane Lawson!
“Well,” I said, after pulling back from Trent and fixing my hair by tossing it around. “I have to get back to work. See you guys later.” Before I turned to walk back to the bar, I smiled and winked at Kane, only to see that wicked grin of his spread across his face as he shook his head, chuckling. Good, he doesn’t hate me.
I could live with our banter, but I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t bother me if he hated me.
“Dude, I saw her tongue in your mouth!” I heard Reece say, as I walked back through the door.
As much as they were a pain in my ass, I loved One Night Stand.
***
Another month went by and summer was here in full force. It was the Fourth of July weekend and the county fair was in full swing. I was currently helping my dad carry boxes to the tent that was set up for the bar, away from the bar. Friday night and as always the boys were slated to play, but not at BJ’s. The fair had a huge stage. While my father and a couple of the other girls helped unpack, the boys were busy setting up for their big concert. They were the closing act to the fair and the whole town was on edge, getting ready for the hundreds--hell, maybe even thousands of people who would be coming to see them. Roads had been blocked and extra security had been called in. I was told by my father that last year they only got two songs off before people started going crazy. Hence, all the security and refurbished stage.
Things had gone back to normal, as normal as they could get. Since I had kissed Trent, I had also made the mistake of kissing Aiden and god help me my lips touched Reece’s too that night. So I might have only kissed Reece to piss Kane off because he kept deliberately palming Chloe’s ass, and I knew he was doing it on purpose, because he wouldn’t even touch her unless I was looking. Either way, I hadn’t been able to live it down since.
I was keeping my distance from Kane and he was doing the same. I made sure not to put myself in a situation where we were left alone, simply because I didn’t trust myself.
Things with Nate took a step up, after I had kissed him the night Fallen had come to play at the bar. He was sweet and I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t going to go anywhere, but he was a good kisser, and if I couldn’t have Kane, I guessed I’d have to settle for Nate. He was meeting me later on in the evening.
I had stopped moving boxes and leaned over the impromptu bar we had set up. Resting my elbows on the laminate bar and propping my head up on my hands, I guiltily watched the boys practice for tonight.
Kane had jeans on, with a black tee, and his hair was a sexy mess. His guitar was slung over his body, the beautiful red color glistened when the sun hit it. He was going to break so many hearts once they made it big, and I was going to be able to say that I had spent a whole summer with him. My future friends wouldn’t believe me, but I’d know the truth.
“I told you, they’d grow on you,” my father said, leaning next to me.
“Yeah, they’re pretty great,” I said, smiling at him.
“I know it’s none of my business, but I see the way he looks at you,” My father added, nodding at Kane.
He can’t be serious. “Dad, I--it’s not like that,” I said, trying to play it off.
“Caroline, I’m not dumb. I know you have commitment issues. You’ve never introduced me to any of your boyfriends, and you never talk about a future, getting married, or having kids. I know you don’t want to be like your mother. You can still have all that if--”
I cut him off quickly. I didn’t want to hear this.
“Dad, I’m fine, that’s not the kind of future I want. Not everyone wants the big house, white picket fence, and 2.5 kids.” I hated lying to him, I did want those things. I was just terrified I’d end up like her. He was absolutely right.
That man up on stage was the first person to ever make me really want those things since my mother died. Catching my eye, he kept his on me as his fingers skillfully worked the strings on his guitar. We were far away from the stage, but I could see the way his muscles moved in his arms, as if he was standing right in front of me.
“Kane’s a good guy. I wouldn’t be upset if you two--”
“Dad!” I said, breaking eye contact with Kane. “You’re really giving me your blessing to get it on with Kane, the same Kane that you watch leave every other night with a different girl. You been drinking top shelf again before work?”
A loud, haughty laugh left my father as he patted my back. “Oh, Caroline, haven’t you noticed, he hasn’t left with anyone in a long time? I know because I have to kick the girls out of the bar when he leaves without them.”
I didn’t believe it. There was no way he’d kept it in his pants that long. Not Kane, the self-proclaimed playboy, who had a different girl for every day of the week. I glanced back up at the stage as he began singing one of their slow songs. Holding the microphone in one hand, while the other held the stand, he looked at me again then closed his eyes as he sang.
Why does he have to be so sexy up there?
Kissing my wild hair my dad whispered, “Give him a chance.”
CHAPTER 20
Kane
I sat backstage, which was actually a backstage and not a parking lot. The crowd was so loud it felt like the walls were shaking. This was going to be the biggest venue we had ever performed at. After last year, the county had upped their game, demolishing the old rickety stage and putting in a brand new one. It was huge, had lights and an amazing sound system. I knew that they didn’t do it just because of us. They were hoping to have bigge
r-named acts come and perform there.
“We’re gonna get fucked up after this show tonight! I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow,” Reece said, banging his drumsticks on the back of his chair.
The room that we were in was a moderate size. We had water and snacks. There were two couches, a few chairs, and a bathroom around the corner. I could get use to this.
“Did you see Kitty while we were practicing? She looked fucking hot in that dress,” Aiden added.
I couldn’t disagree with that. She had a sundress on that didn’t have a back, which meant she didn’t have a bra on, which meant, side boob, and a lot of it. It was tight up top then flowed softly down around her legs. Her wild, long curls were down and blowing in the hot July air. I couldn’t stop looking at her while we practiced earlier.
I hated that I hadn’t been able to...perform, since the incident in her room. It was as if ever since I said that I’d give up other women, my dick was on strike until it got what it wanted--her. I tried that night to bang Chloe, but nothing, I blamed it on being drunk and dead-dog tired, but I knew the real reason. Fucking Kitty had ruined me! I was close to getting a prescription for Viagra. Yes, it was that bad.
It was also painfully obvious that she was avoiding me. So I gave her space, watched her from afar. But every night was the same. I’d dream about her on top of me, her long curls falling around my face, her smile, everything. I’d dream about it all and have to wake up and take a cold-ass shower or attempt to rub one out, but it never worked. I’d fucking get a cramp from trying so hard, I’d always end up under the ice cold water.
***
This is amazing. There was a sea of people cheering for us as we walked out on stage. A thousand or so for sure, all screaming for us. Yeah, I can get use to this. To the side of the stage and up the hill, there were people sitting on blankets, but to the front of the stage, no one was sitting and everyone was pushed up against the railing that separated the stage from the crowd. There was enough room between the two for a bunch of guys in “security” shirts to stand. I looked to my right at the people sitting on blankets, and fuck if my eye didn’t go straight to Kitty, who was huddled up next to Nate fucking Rodgers. I really hated that guy. I didn’t know why I just got a weird vibe from him, always had. Something about a cop just gave me the willies.
The whole hour and a half that we played, the screaming never stopped. It had died down while we flirted with the crowd and introduced ourselves, but other than that, I was surprised people could even hear us. We were getting ready to leave the stage, when I glanced over at Caroline, for the millionth time. She was gazing up at Nate, while he said something to her. His hand cupped her face, and his lips found hers in a tender kiss. She wrapped her hand around the arm that was holding her face and kissed him back.
“Get your fucking hands off her, Rodgers!” I roared, completely forgetting that I was still standing in front of my microphone, that was clearly still on. The whole place went silent. If I could have, I would have shot lasers out my eyes and split Rodgers in two. I had succeeded in getting him to back the fuck off, but now everyone was following my gaze and looking at kitty and Nate. Something in me had snapped. Actually seeing her kiss him had taken me over the edge. Thankfully, the guys came up next to me. I knew how much they cared for her too, and we all stood staring at them.
“Kitty, come on. You’re our mascot not his,” Reece added.
“I thought you loved me,” Trent put in, sounding disheartened.
She stood from her blanket and stalked away, clearly pissed. Nate just sat there, looking like the tool that he was.
“Come on, lover boys,” JJ said to us all, pushing us off the stage.
We took a moment to run back and wave to the fans one last time before we made our way to the backstage area.
“What the hell is with that guy? He’s such a tool,” Reece said, slumping down in a chair.
“She said she loved me,” Trent added, sitting next to Reece in disbelief.
“She doesn’t love you, Trent. She’s a fucking whore just like the rest of them. She’s using you as a chair, getting her kicks from Rodgers and who the fuck knows who else she’s using?” Finishing the rest of my beer, I turned to toss it in the trash can, and that’s when I saw her, eyes a blaze, her mane of hair, wild from blowing in the warm breeze all night.
She walked right up to me. I didn’t move. I was disgusted. She was screwing with me, with all of us, and she didn’t give a fuck. She got toe to toe with me then slapped me across the face. Fuck, that stings.
“You’re an asshole, Kane Lawson.” That was all she said, before she turned and stalked out of the room.
I stood there silent, like the rest of the guys. That ungrateful bitch. Hell, if I was going to let her just leave after slapping the shit out of me. I ran out of the room and down the hall after her. I passed a group of girls going into our room and heard the door slam shut. I didn’t care how many women were freely giving themselves up, I had my sights set and nothing not even a parade of beautiful women were going to stop me. I caught up with her in a dimly lit hallway that ended up being a dead end. I reached for her, needing to explain myself. As my fingers wrapped around her arm I pulled her back to me. “I don’t think so.”
Her face was wet and splotchy, her eyes red. “Go away, Kane! This whore is trying to find her way out of here,” she said, shoving my chest with her balled up fists.
“Shit, Kitty, I didn’t mean that. I was just--”
“You were what, Kane, jealous? You’re so selfish. Thanks to you this whole fucking town is speculating what the hell is going on between us,” she ranted, wiping her eyes in frustration.
“I don’t give a fuck what they think, because there sure as hell isn’t anything going on between us. You’ve made sure of that,” I said through a snicker.
“You think this is funny. You think this isn’t hard. Fuck, Kane, I wanted to give into you that first night. I wanted to lose myself in you. I wanted to feel you pressed up against me. You think that all just disappeared, vanished? I’ve been going out of my mind trying to stay away from you,” she said, while pushing her hair out of her face.
“Then don’t, don’t stay away,” I challenged her.
She bit her lip, the back of her hand resting on her forehead, as she shook away her feelings. She wouldn’t look at me.
I closed the space between us in that barren hallway. I grabbed her face with my hands and gazed into her dark-blue eyes. Her hands wrapped around my wrists on either side of her face. She bit her bottom lip again and shook her head with a worried frown.
“Fuck it.” She ripped my hands from her face and grabbed my shirt, pulling me down to her with a force that told me she had finally given in.
CHAPTER 21
Caroline
I couldn’t take it anymore. I crashed my lips to his, with a need so strong, it nearly took my breath away. His tongue entered my mouth the same time his hands cupped my ass. He was sweaty from singing on stage for the past hour or so, but I didn’t care. The salty taste of him, mixed with the sweetness of his mouth, was downright wrong. I ran my hands through his hair, loving the way my fingers got lost in its thickness. He was moaning, I was moaning. Everything felt good. His hands explored my body, cupping my breasts. His thumb ran over my hardened nipple. My head fell back in delight. His mouth found my exposed neck. Taking full advantage, he kissed along it and under my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
When he found my mouth again, I reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off in a hurry. He backed me against the wall, framing me with his bare chest and a hand at either side of my face. Reaching out, I ran my hands carefully down his cut chest and over the ripples of his stomach. I pulled on his belt, bringing him closer to me, the grunts and noises he made as we--I--gave in, was music to my ears, my body. I looked up into his blue eyes and saw him, just Kane Lawson.
I worked on his belt as he stood there, watching me. We were both pant
ing heavily by then. I had it undone and was shoving his jeans down around his ankles. As I rose back up, I let my hand graze his thigh. Stopping over his protruding boxers, I slipped my hand inside and grabbed him, before shoving his boxers down as well.
“Fuck, Kitty, you have no idea,” he said, grabbing my dress and hiking it up around my waist in a hurry.
I shimmied out of my underwear, grabbed him around his neck, and jumped up into his arms.
No foreplay needed. He was ready. I was ready. Hell, I had been ready for three months. I slid down on him, hissing in pleasure. Adjusting me against the wall, he thrust into me. Holding onto him for dear life, I sank my teeth into his shoulder to keep from screaming in pleasure.
It wasn’t sensual, it wasn’t graceful, but it was fucking hot, and it was exactly what I needed. Before I knew it, I was ready to combust. The tightening started before I could stop it.
“Kane,” I panted. “Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” I begged, whispering in his ear.
He didn’t stop. If anything, it made him work harder. My hands splayed down his back, feeling his muscles move as he gave me what I asked for.
I squeezed him tighter, as I fell apart around him.
“Fuck, Kitty, I can’t hold on,” he panted as he thrust into me.
Growling in my ear, he leaned me against the wall and moved his hand down between us, rubbing me with every thrust.
I didn’t know how he did it, and I really didn’t care. All I knew was, I found myself growling right along with him as we came together.
We stood there, my arms still tight around him, my lips to his neck, his hand still between us, the other wrapped tightly around my waist, and him still deep within me. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to move, and it seemed he didn’t either. If I moved from this spot, if he withdrew from me, it would be over. That was too intense, too good. All those things added up to danger in my book. It was better than I ever thought it could be and, again, like all the other times, I felt things, saw things, that I still wasn’t ready for. My only hope was that he’d get over it, me.