by M. E. Gordon
He still wasn’t touching me, and I so desperately wanted him to touch me. I needed him to touch me.
“Caroline!”
I couldn’t look away from him, but I still knew who called my name. It was Danny, standing in the arch way of the hallway.
“Seems you’re being paged,” Kane said, cocking his head as he looked up from me to Danny.
“Kane.” As if on cue, Chloe stood at the other end of the hallway. This time, I did look away from him, seeing her standing there, tall, beautiful, and beckoning Kane toward her. I felt inferior of the connection she now had with Kane.
“Caroline,” Kane said, reaching for the hand that I still had clutched to his belt.
He took that hand and I reluctantly let go of his belt. I wanted him to hold my hand as tight as he could. I wanted him to squeeze it, give me a sign that he still cared, but he didn’t. He just let me go.
“I’m not giving up. I made a mistake, and I’m going to make it right, I’m going to make us right again.”
He leaned over, smiled, then slipped away from the wall and headed toward Chloe.
“If you run, I’m running after you,” I called to him.
He stilled in front of Chloe and faced me, a genuine smile on his face. “Then make sure you have a good pair running shoes,” he said, before wrapping an arm around Chloe’s shoulders and leaving the hallway.
CHAPTER 40
Kane
“I’m glad you stayed strong throughout all that,” Chloe said as we stood outside of the room where our instruments sat.
“Yeah, me too,” I said opening and holding the door for her to go through.
When we walked in, the guys were sitting around the room talking. I recalled Caroline saying to tell the guys bye for her, which meant, they knew she was here and didn’t tell me.
I’m not a fucking baby. I can handle seeing her. I did handle seeing her.
“Where were you two at? Fucking in the bathroom again?” Reece asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
“I’m going to the bus. I’ll see you guys later tonight,” Chloe said, kissing the corner of my lips and squeezing my ass as she walked out of the room.
I waited until she was out of the room and the door was securely closed behind her, before I started in on the guys. I knew they kept it from me because they thought I was still that broken-hearted idiot that nearly drank himself under the table. But not anymore.
“So, I saw Caroline a little while ago,” I said nonchalantly.
“You what?” JJ asked, whipping his head in my direction and spilling his beer.
“I saw Caroline.” I made my words slow and even, so I knew that they had heard me clearly.
“Dude, don’t even sweat it. He’s a fucking hipster and who cares if he’s her boss? She’s probably just desperate,” JJ said from across the room.
“I really wanted to go fuck that guy up when he was feeling up on her,” Trent said as he cracked his knuckles.
“Yeah, I even wanted to jump in. No one who looks that ridiculous should be touching our Kitty. Fucking tight shirt, suspender-wearing, wanna-be hipster. He even had a fucking beard and slicked back hair, like he’s a fucking heartthrob or something. You’re way better looking, dude, I’d fuck ya. Kitty’s head’s fucked up, if she’s had to downgrade to ass hats like that,” Reece said confidently.
“She’s dating that guy?” I asked, getting off track.
I didn’t want to think about something like that, but fuck if it didn’t bother me now that it was brought to my attention.
“Looked like it, bro. She played it off like it was just her boss, but they seemed pretty cozy, and he stood up for her when I approached her earlier,” JJ said.
“Why the fuck didn’t any of you fuckers tell me she was here?” I asked frustrated and feeling like a child kept in the dark about important information.
“This is why,” Aiden said, flicking his hand at me.
“I don’t know why you think I’m going to go back to the way I was when she left. It’s been a fucking year. I’m fine!” I spat at them.
Aiden stood, throwing his hands up in the air. “See? This is why we went to her and asked her to leave, so you wouldn’t act like an ass before we go on stage. Or worse when were up there performing and you see her in the crowd sucking face with that fucking hipster asshole.”
JJ nodded. “Kane, we knew this might happen, that eventually you’d run into her. We were just trying to prolong the inevitable. We didn’t want to see you hurt again. We care about you, man. We just--”
I cut JJ off. “No, that’s not why you did it. I’m not a fucking idiot. You didn’t want me to see her so that I’d be fine to perform tonight. You fuckers have such little faith in me, it’s disturbing. You think I’d ruin myself again for her? I’ll tell you right now, that’s not fucking happening. I’m fine. She had me against a wall, hand practically down my pants, and her sweet-ass lips on mine, and I’m still here. So stop treating me like some broken-hearted kid and lets go bring the fucking house down tonight!”
My four closest friends stared at me a second.
“She really have her hand down your pants?” Reece asked.
“That’s all you got out of that? For fuck’s sake, Reece.” He kept staring at me, waiting for an answer. I couldn’t help it. A smile cracked the stern look I was trying to maintain as I shook my head in disbelief. “Yes, her hand was down my pants,” I said rolling my eyes.
“And you didn’t--I mean, you just--”
“I walked away,” I said, confirming what he was trying to say.
“You’re serious?” Trent added.
“Yes, why is that so hard to believe?” I asked the four of them.
“Are you sure it was Kitty you were talking to?” Aiden asked.
“I’m pretty sure it was her,” I said.
“It couldn’t have been, because Kitty looked fucking hot as shit tonight, and no one can say no to her. There’s no way,” Reece challenged.
Hearing him say that made me think back to how she looked in that hallway. It was dark and even though I tried not to look, I knew exactly what they were talking about. She had looked amazing, and of course I wanted to rip her dress off, or shove it up her thighs, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I knew what would happen if I did. I’d go right back to a year ago. I’d go back to needing her more than air.
I had wanted to believe what she had told me tonight, but I knew better now. I had given everything I could to her and what did I get in return? A broken fucking heart. So even though she looked good enough for me to push my anger aside for her leaving, it wasn’t enough for me to forget how it felt when she walked onto that fucking plane and didn’t even look back. That was the reason why I walked away. I walked away because I didn’t ever want to feel like that again.
“Well, it was her. She seemed to want me pretty bad, but I left her standing there. Now can we forget about all of this and move on?” I asked.
“If you’re good, then we’re good,” JJ said, speaking for the guys.
“Just promise us that you’re not going to go ape shit when you see her sucking face with someone other than you, and by that I mean, don’t get pissed at me when I’m kissing those sweet, sweet lips,” Reece said through a sneer.
“Whatever, dude,” I said, reaching for my guitar. “Let’s get out there. Chloe’s waiting in the bus. I want to finish what we started earlier.”
That night I had to perform with Caroline sitting front and center. She was with a group of friends, one of them looked strangely familiar, but I tried my best not to pay any attention. JJ was right. The guy who called for her in the hallway was sitting closer to her than necessary, but just like always, she didn’t seem to notice. She was the kind of girl who never noticed when guys were looking at her. She didn’t notice when she was tossing out mixed signals like free shots. And right now is no different.
When we finished up and left the stage, I hadn’t seen her, figuring that she had left as
the crowd clamored around the stage. I went straight to the bus, needing Chloe to take my mind off the feelings that I thought I had done a good job of suppressing.
I could deny it to the guys all day long, tell them that I was fine. I was a professional, I could get through it. I had said no to her, but I was still affected, whether I wanted to be or not.
The rest of the guys were hanging out at the bar, getting drinks and “making friends.” While I hurried to the bus in the back, I was dumbfounded to see Caroline pacing by the bus. She hadn’t seen me yet, so I stopped and watched as she kicked some rocks with her six-inch heels. Her hands kept nervously messing with her wild hair, and she looked like she was talking to herself.
Maybe she had changed, because the Caroline I met a year ago was a smart-mouthed, confident, piece of work. This girl looked nervous and awkward. A guy came outside from the back door, tossing some trash in the dumpster. It made a loud crash, making Caroline stop pacing and look around. Her eyes locked immediately with mine and she froze by the bus.
“What are you doing?” I asked, walking across the parking lot toward the large tour bus that I was praying Chloe was still in.
“Nothing,” she said nonchalantly.
“Caroline, why are you here? You shouldn’t be here. Aren’t your friends and boyfriend wondering where you are?” I asked, still making my way to the bus.
“Boyfriend? No, he’s not my--I’m single, very single. I’m not seeing anyone,” she said, shaking her head.
The part of me that was happy about that information was quickly ass whooped by the part that knew thinking of her as available was a bad fucking idea.
I finally made it all the way over and stood across from her. Damn, she looks sexy in her little black dress and strappy looking heels.
I was pretty sure they were the same ones she had on one night when we were together. I could distinctly remember those heels digging into my sides before I ripped them off.
“So, now what?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. Maybe I only did that because I knew she had a thing for my arms and, quite frankly, I liked seeing her squirm.
“I told you. I’m running after you. Simple as that, really.”
Her posture straightened as she spoke, as if she was trying to puff herself up and look strong and stern. It was fucking adorable--and extremely dangerous.
“Well, I hate to burst your little bubble, but I’m going in that bus right there to have sex and try to forget that this--” I said, pointing between the two of us. “--ever happened. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to take care of.”
I summoned a charming smile and walked up to the door of the bus, which she was standing next to. My hand on the handle. I was a step and a door away from forgetting this night ever happened.
“I’m going to say this one time,” Caroline said as she moved like her pet namesake, blocking the door behind her.
“What could you possibly have to say?” I asked, letting the door handle go.
“You said that you knew me. Well, I know you, too. I know that you’re pissed and you’re an asshole--”
What the hell is she getting at? “You know, if you’re trying to be nice or if this is some sick apology, it’s not working,” I said, huffing in frustration.
“It’s not an apology. I’ve already said I was sorry. This is me making a promise--”
“A promise? To what? Torture me for the rest of my life? No thanks, I’m peachy fucking keen without it.”
“Will you just shut up and let me finish?” she hollered back at me. “I promise that I’ll let you take whatever time you need to get over yourself. I also promise that I’ll be there, waiting for you to get your fucking head out of your ass and see what’s in front of you.”
I couldn’t help but let a haughty laugh escape me. This is fucking ridiculous. “You’re wasting your time. I see what’s in front of me and I’m pretty sure I’m over it.”
“See? I don’t think you are. I’ll leave you to...Chloe, is it? My guess is you’re not going to be able to take care of business as usual, so, maybe I’ll see you back in the bar,” she said snidely before patting my shoulder and walking away.
What the fuck just happened? The parking lot was empty. The only sound was her heels clicking on the asphalt, getting softer the farther away she got. I didn’t know if I was pissed or turned on. Fuck, it’s a little of both.
That night, it took a hell of a lot longer to get “ready” to spend quality time with Chloe. Fucking Caroline ruined me again. There was no way she was going to be able to keep her word and “run” after me. So I felt pretty confident that she wasn’t going to be fucking with my head anymore.
***
Like I had said before, I didn’t expect her to keep her word. I expected her to go back to her life, her “dream job,” her friends. I sure as hell didn’t expect to see her at a bar in Boston a week later. We had finished our set. Chloe was busy with some ass who managed to weasel his way into her good graces. She had texted me, saying she was going to the hotel that 4 Alliance had gotten after the show. I took the opportunity to hang out at a bar with the guys, until the stage crew had everything packed up.
It was a small town bar off the beaten track from the midsize outdoor arena we had just played at. When I pushed the doors open, I was hit with the sight of Kitty sitting on Trent’s lap, the rest of the guys in chairs around the table, beers in their hands and women at their sides. I stood in the doorway and, for a split second, I wanted to stay, but then I turned around to leave. I cannot do this tonight.
“Kane, look who tracked us down!” Trent yelled across the small bar.
Caroline sat there on his lap, a stupid grin on her face as she tried to look innocent, but I knew she was anything but.
I nodded over, knowing that if I didn’t go, I’d get shit because I had already told them I was fine and over her. The last thing I needed was them babying me again.
CHAPTER 41
Caroline
I drove all day to get to Boston by the time their show started. I was kind of appalled at how easy it was to get back stage. I had called JJ and asked him to meet me, discreetly.
“Kitty, what are you doing here? Don’t you have to work or take care of your hipster boss?” he asked cheekily.
“Ha-ha, no. I’m here because I made a promise to Kane.”
“You made a promise? To do what? Bug him to death?”
“No, you jerk! Listen, I know I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I know that now. I’m just sorry it took all this bullshit for me to realize it.”
“So...you’re here...because?” he asked, confused.
“I’m going to win him back,” I said confidently.
“You’re going to what?”
I spoke slowly. “Win him back.”
“No, no, no, not happening,” he said curtly, shaking his head and waving his hands in front of him.
“Listen, JJ,” I said, getting in his face. “I’m here now. I’m going to be everywhere you all go until he realizes how ridiculous he’s being. Seeing him with Chloe, seeing him with anyone is fucking making me want to pull my hair out! I’m not going anywhere. I want to be with him. I miss him and I’m going to do whatever I have to, to make him realize it.”
“Caroline--Fuck! All right, listen. I get it, you want him back, but you broke him. He is broken and it’s going to take more than you following us around to make him see that you’re not going to leave him again. I can’t watch my friend go through that again. None of us can. I need your word that whatever fucked up shit that was going on in your head before is done. I need to know that I’m not going to have to watch him climb out of that ditch again.”
My cousin loved Kane like the brother he never had, and if he was willing to give me the go ahead, I knew I stood a chance to get Kane back.
“JJ, I was scared before. I was scared of loving him, I was scared of being my mother, and I was scared of letting my life slip out of my grasp. I was terrified
I’d be like her. But I was turning into her. Leaving him was slowly turning me into her. I was lost, dead. I could feel myself drifting, but it took seeing him at Nate’s trial to wake me up and, once I was awake, I guess fate did the rest. Running into you guys at that bar saved my life. I’ve never felt more alive or determined.”
“You’re really serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious! God, why doesn’t anyone believe me? Piper didn’t, you don’t. Hell, Dad didn’t even believe me.”
I was getting more frustrated the longer I stood there with my dense cousin.
“Piper? Is that--”
“Nate’s little sister. I know. Don’t even start with that ass. I know Kane was behind it all and I have yet to even thank him--”
“Is she with you?” he asked, cutting me off and looking over my head.
“Who? Piper?”
“No, ‘she’ your father. Of course, Piper.”
“No she’s at home--Oh, right. She’s my roommate. After Nate’s trial, she moved in with me.”
He paused a moment, clearly thinking something over in his head. “All right, I give you my blessing to win Kane back--on one condition.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, JJ?”
“Nope,” he said, making the work pop.
“Okay, what’s your ‘one condition’?”
“Next weekend, and every weekend after that you’re trying to ‘win’ Kane back, you bring Piper with you,” he said casually.
I stared at him, skeptically looking him over. What the hell? Nope, not going there. “Fine, I’ll bring her with me whenever I can. She’s a pretty popular girl in the fashion scene nowadays, and she might not be able to come all the time.”
“Don’t care. No Piper, no Kane,” he said, crossing his arms defiantly.