by M. E. Gordon
That’s it, enough of this craziness. I took hold of his ear and tugged him down to my level. Being as he was a good head taller than me, he had to bend over quite a bit.
“Now you listen here,” I growled. “I’m done being nice. I said I’d try to get Piper here, so you’re going to have to be okay with that. I need to get Kane back, and I’m tired of fucking around. Do we have an understanding?” My words cut through the air like a samurai’s blade, leaving no room for a comeback.
“Yup! I got it. Can you let go of my ear please?” he begged.
“Oh, sorry,” I said, releasing his ear. He rubbed it and then started laughing loudly. “What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you, Cuz,” he said through a huge smile.
“I missed you too,” I said as I hugged him around the neck.
So, all of that, led me here, sitting on Trent’s lap waiting for Kane to walk through the door. The guys didn’t take as much persuasion as I thought. Trent asked for a great big bear hug, Aiden asked me to kiss his cheek and Reece...well, Reece was Reece. I shouldn’t have expected anything less from him. His one request to get in his good graces was to let him feel up my boobs. Since I loved Kane, and I was willing to do whatever I could to get him back, I let bozo the clown get to second base.
When Kane finally came into the bar, I immediately felt the tension. My body stiffened on Trent’s lap.
“Kitty, you okay?” he asked, resting his head on my shoulder.
“I’m scared Trent. What if he doesn’t give me a chance?”
He smiled at me. “Then he’s stupid.”
I turned from Trent to watch Kane. He looked like he was going to turn back around and leave, so again, I stiffened on Trent’s lap.
“I won’t let him leave,” Trent whispered. “If he leaves then you’ll leave and I don’t want you to leave. None of us want you to leave.”
I smiled at him and began to relax, knowing that I had him and the rest of the guys on my side. “Thanks, Trent.”
“Kane, look who tracked us down!” Trent yelled across the bar, stopping Kane from leaving. “See, Kitty, he’s not going anywhere,” he whispered in my ear.
“Thanks.”
“What is she doing here? And why is she sitting on your lap?” Kane asked, obviously refusing to talk directly to me.
“I’m willing to share tonight, if you want her to sit on your lap, bro,” Trent said, before taking a sip of beer.
“You can keep her,” Kane said, moving to the other end of the table.
The rest of the night, I sat talking and laughing with the guys just like we used to do. It was fascinating how easy it was to slip back into the roles we had before. Except for Kane. He just sat at the end of the table, drinking his beers and acting like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was. Three hours later, the guys all got up to go smoke again, knowing that Kane didn’t, and JJ, who had been Kane’s distraction, left with some girl. I knew that that was my chance to talk to him alone. He must have sensed it because, as soon as the door to the bar closed behind the guys, he stood from the table. Finishing his beer, he placed it on the table and went to leave.
I jumped up and blocked him before he could make an escape. “Where are you going?” I asked.
“Anywhere where you’re not,” he said, buzzed by the beer he had been downing all night.
“That’s mean,” I said, crossing my arms.
“Yeah, it’s downright criminal. Almost as mean as leaving me standing in an airport and walking away like you don’t give a fuck,” he said, leaning over, getting in my face.
“Well, clearly you still have some issues,” I said back at him.
“Ya fucking think?”
“I do, but your little pissy attitude isn’t going to scare me away. How’s your mom doing?” I asked smiling up at him.
I was grasping at straws here, but I knew the only way to get back to him was to be there, showing him I wasn’t leaving, that I wasn’t running anymore.
“My mom? You’re that desperate that you’re trying to make small talk about my mom? She’s fine,” he snapped back. “How’s your mom--oh, right, you don’t talk about her because you pretend she didn’t exist. I forgot.”
“Low blow, asshole.” Okay this was going to take more self-restraint than I had planned on. I wanted to reach up and slap that smug smile off his face, and I almost did, but I reigned in my temper and took a calming breath. “Whatever, Kane, you can say what you want. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I will, thanks. And more importantly, if you’re not going anywhere, then I am.” He moved the chair under the table to walk away.
“Where you going?” Trent asked, coming back to the table, a strong whiff of smoke following him.
“Back to the bus,” Kane said.
“I can’t let you do that,” Trent retorted, cracking his knuckles like he always did.
“Why the fuck not?” Kane asked, just as the rest of the guys walked in and stood around the table.
“You see, me and the guys were talking outside, and we all agree that you’re being a wee bit of a dick to our Kitty. She came all this way to get you back and, dude, we don’t want her to leave.”
“Too fucking bad. Let me remind you that not only did she leave me without notice, she left you fuckers, too. Why the sudden change of heart? Last week you were trying to keep her away from me and now, all of a sudden, she’s allowed to sit on your lap,” Kane said, pointing at Trent. “You two are best fucking buddies again,” he said to JJ. “You’re protecting her like she’s your kid sister.” He pointed to Reece. “And you--I don’t even fucking know why you’re letting her be here.”
“Oh, she let me feel her tits so, we’re good,” Reece said with a shrug.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kane screeched. He glared at me. “Well, shit, if you’re here to get me back, having Reece cozy up to your tits really makes me believe you.”
“Reece, you asshole!” He was next to me, making it easy for me to punch him in the arm.
“Oh, Kitty, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to do that,” Reece said, holding his arm as an adoring smile spread across his lips.
“You’re a sick fuck, Reece, and you, thanks for turning my friends against me,” Kane snapped at me.
“I didn’t turn them against you. Stop being so dramatic, you big baby. I told them exactly what I told you.”
“I’m outta here. I can’t listen to this madness any longer. I’ll see you guys on the bus,” Kane said abruptly, walking from the table and out the door before any of us could react.
I hit Reece again before I ran after Kane. I was going to make him see that I had changed, that I was wrong before. I crashed through the door and looked left then right.
The buses were in an empty parking lot next to the bar. I caught a glimpse of a figure walking between them and knew it was him. I raced over, making it to the buses as he was opening the door to one of them.
“Kane!” I called to him.
“Fuck, Caroline! Leave me alone,” he said, looking up at the sky.
“No, I will not leave you alone. I will not stop until you give me what I want,” I said, crossing my arms and stamping my foot.
“And what is it that you want?” he asked, whipping around.
His eyes were wild with rage but I had to press on. “I want you. I want you to forgive me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to believe in me again.”
I dropped my arms. The seriousness of what I had said made him let go of the door. The anger was gone from his face, replaced with confusion, misery, and I knew that I was the one who made him that way. I was the one who broke him, and now I had to fix him.
CHAPTER 42
Kane
Why is she pushing this? The more she talked, the more I wanted to give in and shut her out all at the same time. Doesn’t she realize that I’m fucked up now, that she fucked me up? Maybe--
The door to the bus rattled and swung open, a
lmost hitting me in the face. I moved out of the way as a man who could have been my twin stepped out off the bus.
“Hey, man! You’re that lead singer. I love your stuff, it’s really good.”
My twin stood there nodding at me like an idiot. Same height, same build, same hair, same blue eyes.
“Thanks, what the fuck are you doing on my bus?” I asked.
“Oh, I thought--” He pointed nervously back to the bus. “Um, she said we could come back to the bus. I just followed directions, you know what I mean?” he said, winking so Caroline couldn’t see.
Yeah, I fucking knew what he meant. When Chloe told you to do something that involved sex, you did it.
“I guess you’re next up! Threesome? Totally hot, bro. Would you mind if--”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hollered, cutting him off.
“No, not at all. I could totally help you out,” he said, taking a step to get a better look at Caroline. “You can have Chloe. This petite blonde over here is--Damn, bro, please let me help you out,” he said, biting his fist while undressing Caroline with his eyes.
“Did he just...” Caroline asked, pointing at my doppelganger, but keeping her eyes on me.
For some reason, I laughed, which only seemed to piss her off more. She closed the space between her and my twin, getting right up in his face. He was taken off guard and smirked down at her.
“All right! Looks like she’s in,” he said, nodding over at me.
You know what? I’m just going to sit back and see how this one plays out. I took a step back and held my hands up, giving him the go ahead.
Caroline was watching as I backed away. I thought she might say something harsh, but she seemed more hurt than anything. Served her right. Her eyes shot back up to my twin. Her expression changed as she studied his face. A ping of jealousy pricked my heart as I watched the two of them have a moment. It was like I was watching our first night together, the way she was looking at him, fuck! Suddenly anxious, I rested my hands on my hips. I wanted to turn away. I didn’t want to see her with--
“What’s your name?” she asked, all breathy.
My dick twitched at the sound and the memory that came with it.
“Justin,” he said, while he rested a hand on her jean clad hip.
His hair fell out of place as he looked down at her. Hers fell wild and free down her back, lightly moving in the warm breeze. Her body was flush with his, and I fucking began to lose it. For someone who wanted to win me back and wanted me to trust her, she was out of her fucking mind. Like I said before, she must have multiple personalities and I can’t fucking keep track anymore.
I had to turn away when she got on her tiptoes. Her lips, the lips I was...am...obsessed with, were centimeters from my twins. Fuck if I wasn’t jealous as hell. I was looking at the ground when I heard a loud thud and a groan. The next thing I knew, my twin was lying on the ground, his hands covering his balls, and his face was red as fuck.
“Don’t you ever assume that I would sleep with you, you sick fuck,” she yelled over his crippled body.
“Damn, bitch, I think you broke my balls,” he said, writhing on the ground.
“Good! Maybe next time you’ll think twice about treating women like your personal fuck toys,” she said, kicking him in the ass for added effect.
I was pretty sure my mouth was a gape. The old Caroline was here in full force. If this scene didn’t remind me of our first encounter, then nothing would. Most of me wanted to forgive her, but I needed time. I still didn’t believe that she had gotten over her shit and showing up for one weekend wasn’t going to instantly make me change my mind.
My twin was still wincing on the ground when the door to the bus opened up again. Chloe stepped out in a rush in her underwear, which shouldn’t even be called underwear because it wasn’t covering anything. Her black lace bra was so tiny her tits would have fallen out if she leaned over.
“What the hell is going on out here?” she asked as she stepped onto the asphalt. “Dustin! What the hell happened?” Rushing to him, she petted his head like a dog and knelt over him in her six-inch heels.
“It’s Justin,” he said in a brittle voice.
“Oh sorry, Justin. What the fuck happened?” she asked, standing and looking between me and Kitty. As her eyes fell on Caroline, realization hit her and her questioning stopped. “What is she doing here?” she asked suspiciously.
This was way too awkward even for me. The girl I was fucking, standing next to the girl I was trying to get over, by fucking the other girl--like I said, fucked up.
“Kane, I thought we talked about this?” Chloe said, bringing me back.
“Listen, Chloe, I’m not here to step on your toes. What I’m here to do is get Kane back,” Caroline said.
“Well, he doesn’t want you back. So maybe you should just run along, I hear you’re good at that,” Chloe clipped.
Kitty’s eyes turned wild as Chloe spoke and, for a second, I thought that she was going to jump on Chloe and start a cat fight--which would have been hot.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Caroline said.
“Oh, don’t I?”
“No, you don’t, because you have no clue what Kane and I had. You have no clue because you’ve never been loved by anyone the way Kane loves me--”
“Loved, past tense,” Chloe corrected her.
Caroline whipped her head to me, as Chloe laughed in the background. She was looking for me to confirm out loud what she and I knew, that I did still love her, but I didn’t, because I was fucking scared of telling her the truth and her breaking my heart again when she left me. So I just shrugged my shoulders.
“You’re a fucking liar.”
She stepped over my twin who was still in the fetal position on the ground and wrapped an arm roughly around my neck. Pulling me down, she crushed her lips to mine. I wanted to push her way, and then I wanted to pull her closer and, just as I was going to wrap my arms around her waist and take what I had dreamt of for over a year, she pulled back. Her hand cupping my cheek, she looked at me, seeing deep into my soul like I knew only she could.
“Tell me you don’t still love me,” she said, still peering into me.
“I--I--” I couldn’t form a sentence if my life depended on it. I also couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“That’s all I needed. I’ll see you next weekend,” she said with a promise in her voice. “Bye, Chloe. He’s all yours, although I’d keep your other play toy around. I don’t think Kane will be up for anything tonight.”
Fuck, I forgot how spicy that girl could be.
I watched as she walked back across the empty parking lot toward the bar, and a little bit of my heart mended as she sauntered off. What the fuck am I going to do now?
“Kane, you just let her--Oh, fuck, you still love her, don’t you?” Chloe said, covering her mouth in shock as she watched me watch Caroline walk away. “Don’t you remember what she did to you? She left you, Kane! She fucking left you,” Chloe shouted.
“I know she did, Chloe, I was fucking there. But shit, she’s here trying to--”
“Nope, you can’t let her back in. Who gives a fuck if she’s here? She’s leaving tomorrow to go back to her ‘dream job,’ remember? Hell she left just now!” Chloe was in front of me now, pulling on my jacket and rubbing my chest with her hands. “You did everything for her, Kane, and she still left you,” she said, caressing my face.
“I got it, Chloe,” I said, stilling her hand on my face by placing mine over it.
“Good, now let’s go work her out of your system.” She kissed the corner of my lips then turned and pulled me along with her. “Thanks for the shag, Dustin, I’ll text you next time I’m in town,” she said, walking over his body.
“It’s Justin!” he moaned from the ground.
“Oh, sorry,” she said before going up the stairs, with me in tow.
***
I could strangle Caroline right now. We’d been at i
t for more than an hour and--nothing, absolutely nothing!
“I know a guy,” Chloe said, coming up for air.
“What?” I asked frustrated that my dick had betrayed me, again.
“A guy. I can get some viag--”
“Fuck that! I don’t need fucking Viagra!” I sat up, pulling a stray cover over my traitor of a dick.
“Well--”
“Chloe, just shut up,” I said, hitting my head against the back of my cubby.
She looked at me through hooded eyes. “Okay, okay. I have that guy’s number, maybe he can bring a girl and we can, ya know, get you inspired.”
“I don’t think so. It’s freaky enough that guy looks just like me. I can’t go there.” I moved from the cubby and pulled my pants on. “I’m just going to go for a walk. I’ll be back.”
“Kane, don’t. Stay with me.” She was up and tugging on the waist band of my jeans the moment I had them fastened. “Let me prove her wrong. She’s wrong. It’s not because of her you have this...issue.”
Maybe Chloe was right. Maybe it was all in my head. I needed to prove that I was over kitty, that she didn’t affect me.
But hell, how am I supposed to do that? I’d be lying my ass off.
Teeth nibbled on my ear lobe as soft fingers slipped down my pants. I guess my dick decided to wave the white flag, because as her finger teased the tip, it jerked to life.
“See? I told you,” she said triumphantly.
“I’m still taking that walk, and you should shower, you smell like my doppelganger.”
She sat back down on the bed. “Fuck you, Kane!” she spat.
“When I get back,” I said, pulling a shirt on.
She didn’t need to know that as her fingers caressed me, I was thinking about blonde curls and liquid blue eyes. All that mattered was that it worked. If I had to imagine Caroline to fuck Chloe to get all the tension out of me, then that was what I was going to do.
***
My traitorous friends had been in contact with Caroline now, more than when we all lived in the same town. Any given night on the bus, I’d find at least one of them talking to her on the phone. When they’d ask if I wanted to talk to her, I gave them the finger and walked away. They might have been able to forgive and forget, but I hadn’t. I hated that they were all getting along. They were my friends, and they were supposed to be on my side not hers. The abandonment had fueled the fire during the week, so that when she would show up, I’d be good and pissed.