The Leah Ryan Thrillers Box Set: Three Chiller Thrillers (Repo Chick Blues #1, Finding Chloe #2, Dirty Business #3) (Leah Ryan Thrillers Box Set, Books 1-3)

by Tracy Sharp

  It was late by the time we’d finished planning. I was tired and drained, and I wanted to curl up under the covers and steal Cal’s warmth. I’m usually cold, where Cal is a furnace. He’s always hot.

  He was up when I got home; watching TV. The remote in his hand and he was sitting way back on the couch. His legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. He was waiting for me. I sighed. I was dreading this talk, but if it were going to happen, it would have to be now. I wasn’t going to have much time for talk after tonight.

  He looked up at me, brown eyes unreadable.

  “Hey,” I said, standing next to him.

  “Hey.” He stretched his arm out and took my hand in his, pulling me down onto his lap.

  “Whoa!” I laughed as I landed.

  He smiled at me, his face close to mine. His eyes soft, wistful. “Now that’s the laugh I love.”

  I said nothing, felt my smile fall away. My heart ached. It was a lonely kind of feeling. Like there was a widening gap in my chest and I didn’t know how to fill it.

  He leaned down and kissed me, his lips soft and warm. This was the kiss that had healed me time and time again, that had saved me from myself.

  He broke the kiss and looked at me, his eyes full of emotion. “I miss you, Leah.”

  “I’ve been here for months, Callahan. I’ve been right here with you.” But I knew what he meant. I really hadn’t been. Not the Leah he’d fallen in love with. It’s like I had been missing, even from myself. I looked away, ashamed. I was falling short of what he needed, again. I didn’t know how to fix it, and I didn’t have the energy. But I wanted to.

  “You need to do this, don’t you? This case.” His head was bent over me as he watched me.

  “I do. I need it to get back to who I was, Cal. You’re not the only one who misses me. I miss me too. I don’t know how to be who I am without doing the things that I’m passionate about. And right now it’s about helping these missing pregnant women.” I took a breath, paused. I didn’t know how to say it any better than this. “I’m sorry. I know I made a promise to you that I’d try to work on us. But it isn’t helping us if I can’t be who I am.” I felt a lump rise in my throat and a flood of sadness wash over me. “Callahan, I’m sorry I’m letting you down, but I don’t know what else to do. I just feel…so lost. I love you too.”

  He brushed hair from my forehead with the backs of his fingers. He had the most gentle touch I’d ever felt. When Callahan touched me, I felt a sense of calm I’d never felt before. Nobody else had ever made me feel at peace, like he did. Not a soul.

  “I know,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “It’s okay.”

  I felt tears slide down my cheeks and he wiped them away. He kissed me again, soft and slow, and he lay me back on the sofa. I took a long, shuddering breath as he kissed my throat. I moved my fingers through his hair, and he lifted my top. I stretched my arms out and he pulled it over my head. I reached down and undid the clasp between my breasts and the white lace bra fell away.

  He undid my jeans and pulled them down my legs, dropping them on the floor. Then he kissed his way down my belly, his mouth lingering and gentle. His hands moved slowly over my hips and down my thighs, and my throat tightened over my love for him, and because I felt how much he loved me.

  It had been a struggle for me to give Cal what he needed from me. It’s not easy for me to allow myself to love. I’ve always needed him, but letting go and loving him has been hard. It’s been the scariest thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve been in some pretty scary situations, both as a repo-woman and as a private investigator. Nothing scares me more than being emotionally vulnerable to someone who means everything to me.

  Maybe that’s why I was always finding ways to drive him away. Why he was still with me, I didn’t understand. He’d left me once before, for the same reasons, my inability to commit. My need to put myself into dangerous situations to help somebody who I felt needed the kind of help that very few people could give. I’m one of those people. So is Jack. We will cross pretty much any line to help a person others might consider to be a lost cause. We might be their last hope. That’s the kind of case I can’t walk away from.

  My little sister needed somebody like that a very long time ago, and there was nobody like me to help her back then.

  In the last few months, I’d thought of her often, and I missed her so much that it almost took my breath away.

  “Leah.” Callahan looked at me, chin resting on my belly, eyes misty with need.

  “Yeah.” Even now I couldn’t be what he needed, when all he wanted was to be close to me, to reconnect. “I love you.” It had taken a long time for me to admit. It was hard for me to say.

  “I know you do. I love you.”

  He pulled his t-shirt over his head. Dark curls covered his chest. I’ve always loved that about Callahan. The curls moved down his belly in a line leading downward. He was one of the sexiest men I’d ever known.

  He stood long enough to get his jeans off, and then pulled me around so that my head rested against the back of the couch and my back rested on the seat. My hips lay against the edge, and his hands gripped them as he moved between my legs.

  I placed my feet on the floor and opened my legs to him. When he entered me I heard my sharp intake of breath as if from far away. He felt so good. He felt like love, redemption and home.

  All the things I’ve always wanted. Right there for me. He was a gift that I’d always felt undeserving of.

  There was a part of me that I couldn’t give him. The part that he needed the most from me. But I held on to it tightly, as if letting go would be the end of me.

  When I cried out, I squeezed my eyes shut.

  And wished for all the world that I could change.

  * * *

  I didn’t need a photo of Julia to know what she looked like because she was Noel’s identical twin, Noel had shown me one she kept in her wallet taken two autumns ago. They were at a pumpkin patch, and their father had snapped a shot of them sitting on an enormous pumpkin, back to back, giggling at the camera. It was a lovely picture, and it made me sad to know that their lives had been forever changed. They would never be that innocent again. Never be so carefree.

  They were truly identical. I couldn’t tell them apart.

  But when I first laid eyes on Julia in the flesh, she looked far different than she had in that picture. The smile was long gone. Her once laughing lips turned slightly downwards. She looked at things without really seeing them, as if they didn’t matter at all. She didn’t look at people, but mostly kept her gaze toward the floor.

  Noel had told us that Gabriel liked women to be humble. He wouldn’t stand for a woman boldly looking into the face of anyone. His punishments were vicious, isolation without food for an entire day, if you were too disobedient.

  I sat on a bench in front of the grocery section of the mall, looking as sad and lost as I could manage. Jack had parked next to their Excursion. He had a truck big enough for at least eight people to pile into. The plan was for me to talk to her. Be invited to go with them. Declan had given me some small bugs to attach to an article of at least one cult member’s clothing, or bag. This was important, because we needed to know who else would be getting pregnant.

  We’d walk back to the van with them, where Jack and Declan would jump out of the SUV and shove Julia into it. We’d race to the location where we’d keep her for as long as it took to deprogram her from the brainwashing and manipulation she’d been subjected to.

  It wasn’t a perfect plan, but I liked the simplicity of it. The simpler the plan was, the less likely it was to fall apart, less room for error. I really didn’t want any errors.

  I nibbled on a thumbnail, hoping to look nervous and pathetic. I stared at the ground then looked into the grocery store with longing eyes.

  I glanced toward the entrance of the mall and there they were. Three women were walking with Gabriel. He turned to them and within a split second they were sm
iling brightly. Time for the show. Everyone was happy, happy. He smiled back at them, and I was taken aback at how beautiful he was. A head of wavy blonde hair and an open face, he looked like an angel. I was sure that must help with his recruiting of members. Particularly women. Even with the smiles, it was clear that the women stayed slightly behind Gabriel. And if you looked closely, each woman had a place in line behind him, even though that line wasn’t obvious. I imagined that the women were placed in order of importance.

  And then it dawned on me. The women moved so slowly, shuffling, because they were favoring some part of their body. I was willing to bet that sore feet played a factor in the slow walk. Bruised legs and the bottoms of their feet, it was a way of beating somebody without leaving visible marks. Then make the disobeying, bold girl walk on them. Carry bags of groceries, putting more pressure on their feet. It was especially bad for a pregnant woman.

  Noel had said that there were times when if one of the women misbehaved, all of the women were punished. Noel had escaped. They’d all taken at least a beating for that. It was much more preferable to be standing under the warmth of his approval. Standing on feet that weren’t so sore you wanted to scream.

  Whoever was winning his approval at the moment got to be in the first spot. Julia was at the front of the line. Lucky her.

  I took all this in within a second, I then looked away, back at the grocery store. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that he’d spotted me. It only took a few seconds for him to come up beside me, women in tow.

  “What’s the matter, little one?” He asked me.

  I looked up at him, eyes wary, and looked away, “Nothing.”

  “Are you sure?” He cocked his head a little. “You look awfully sad.”

  “I’ll be fine.” I glanced back at him, then away. Furtive little looks.

  “Are you hungry?” He asked me.

  I gazed up at him, “Maybe. A little.”

  He laughed, his head tipped back. “Well, it just so happens that our Julia is making a feast for us tonight. We could use a pair of hands to help organize and clean up. There’s free food involved. As much as you can eat, also as much as you can carry home with you.”

  He was clever as hell. Not treating me like a charity case but like a potential helping hand. Nobody likes to beg.

  I hesitated, still watching him. “You really need help?”

  His bright, cunning smile revealed small, even teeth. “We really do. Ask the girls. This is Julia, Kelly and Meredith.”

  The “girls” each offered me a cheerful smile and took turns hugging me.

  “So what do you say?” He kneeled down, taking both my hands in his. Turkey dinner with all the fixings. It’s Thanksgiving, sweetheart. Come on home.”

  Tomorrow was Thanksgiving. How could I forget? A pang of guilt went through me. I hadn’t made any plans with Callahan. I’d have to make it up to him. Cook a nice dinner for him tomorrow. I’d have to go shopping after we got Julia to safety.

  I knew I was kidding myself. I wouldn’t go grocery shopping. I’d be too caught up in getting Julia situated and making sure she was alright.

  But I would make it up to him. There was a long list of things I had to make up for, too long to count.

  “What’s your name, little one?” He knelt in front of me, looking into my eyes.

  “Leah,” I said. Not even bothering to think up a fake name.

  His eyes were green, like the shade of a river in early morning. I could see how people got caught in those eyes.

  “Leah.” He tried my name on his tongue, and it sounded deep and smooth. “Would you be so kind as to help us with our dinner? We really need your help.”

  I paused a heartbeat longer. If we kidnapped Julia, the other women at the commune would suffer. I offered him an unsure smile. “Sure.”

  So I went grocery shopping with them. We picked up five turkeys and about a ton of potatoes and vegetables. We had everything we needed to cook a Thanksgiving feast fit for any cult giving thanks, for whatever cults give thanks for.

  By the time we got out into the parking lot, it was dusk. The mid-November light was fading fast, and I could see the figures of Jack and Declan in the SUV.

  So could Gabriel. “Stop.” There was a sharp edge to his voice.

  I turned toward him, looking alarmed. It wasn’t hard to pull off. I was becoming alarmed. He knew.

  “That SUV has been here a long time. What are those guys doing in there?” His eyes narrowed as he stood watching Declan’s truck.

  “Waiting for their wives?” I asked. “You know how women are. We take forever.”

  His face was like stone as he watched the truck. “Not under my watch, they don’t. Can’t waste time.”

  I looked at the shape of Jack in the truck, becoming less prominent by the second in the dying light. I shook my head and stared right at him. “I don’t know.” I kept my mouth shaped on the word “know.” If Jack could see me, he’d know that I meant “no.”

  For a long moment nothing happened. We began a slow approach to the minivan. I held Jack’s gaze, my eyes wide and intense. If he could ever read me, I needed him to do it now.

  He did. So he did something clever. As we got to the mini-van, he rolled his window down and put a lazy smile in his face. “Hey, brother. You seem to have your hands full there. You want us to take a couple of those lovely ladies off your hands?”

  Gabriel stopped and turned to Jack. His smile pompous. “That’s a very generous offer, but I’ve got a handle on it.”

  “Too bad. What’s your secret?” Jack asked him.

  “No secret,” Gabriel said. “It’s just a gift.” He opened the sliding door of his truck. “Get in on this side, Leah.” I glanced at Jack and nodded my head to reassure him that I wanted him to go. “Okay.”

  Gabriel squinted a little as he watched the SUV back out of the parking spot. Being the narcissist he was, he’d bought Jack’s act, for the most part, but he was still just a little suspicious.

  “There’s your answer,” I said, sliding onto the seat once Meredith and Kelly were in. “They were trying to pick up women.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

  “They aren’t going about it the right way, hanging out in a mall parking lot. Likely to get arrested for suspicious behavior,” Gabriel said. “It’s not the way to draw a woman’s attention.” He sighed. “Most men just have no clue.”

  “You’ve got that right,” I said.

  He glanced at me in the rearview mirror. His mouth smiled but his eyes were cold. Calculating.

  I looked out the window, wrapping my arms around myself.

  “Cold?” he asked me.

  “A little, can’t seem to get warm in this weather.”

  He turned up the heat.

  We started the drive from downtown to the commune. I settled back on the seat. Adrenalin had been pumping into my system, but now I was calming down. I kept my eyes on his rear view mirror and his side mirrors, trying to spot Declan’s truck. They weren’t following. Not on this road, anyway.

  I had my cell phone, but I didn’t know how long it would be before they took it away from me.

  I tried to think of ways to hide it, but the options that were available to me were too disgusting to entertain. I just couldn’t do it.

  I’d have to find a way of communicating with Jack that didn’t require a cell phone.

  He’d know I had a reason for going with Gabriel, though it wasn’t part of the original plan. Plans had a way of changing on the fly with Jack and me. It was the nature of the beast. He’d seen that I hadn’t been drugged and taken against my will, and I knew he’d come for me before too long.

  I just didn’t know how long I had before that happened.

  But I did have the bugs in my bag, a couple in my pockets. I’d scatter them around like magic powder. Gabriel wouldn’t know what hit him.

  Of course, I was pretty certain that I wouldn’t know what hit me if I got caught.

  Chapter
Five

  When we got to the compound it was dark and the air was chilled. Once again, my fight or flight instinct had kicked in. It hit me that I’d put myself in an insanely dangerous situation, and I felt cold all over. My hands, which were shoved deep into the pockets of my worn jean jacket, were so cold that my fingers felt numb.

  I was thankful for the frigid air. With my hands hidden, no one would see them shaking.

  As we made our way up a long drive way toward the main building, which looked like a giant warehouse, I found that I was shivering so badly that I couldn’t hide it.

  “You poor thing,” Meredith said, coming up close beside me. “I’d wrap my arm around you but I have all these bags. We’ll get you inside, nice and warm, in a second.”

  “What are you two talking about?” Gabriel said, coming up fast behind us.

  Meredith turned toward him. “She’s shivering.”

  He smiled down at me, his eyes shining under the silver light of the moon. “We’ll get some hot food into her. Sit her beside the wood stove. You’ll be fine, little one.”

  This ‘little one’ shit was getting old in a hurry. For one thing, I’m not little. I stand at five foot nine. But the issue for him was to start his brainwashing of me by making me feel small beside him, and to make me view him as my savior and protector.

  It’s what he did with every woman he’d manipulated, I was certain. And lots of women bought that shit, especially if they had nowhere to turn and nothing to believe in. He’d be looking mighty good then.

  But to me, he just looked like an asshole, an insecure, almost howling-at-the-moon crazy asshole.

  There were women everywhere, as far as the eye could see it seemed. They moved around, caring for children, cleaning, getting dinner ready. Several women placed baskets of what looked like fresh baked bread on the tables. Large, rectangular folding tables served as their dining tables. It was clear now why they needed a building as large as this one. There were so many of them, and their numbers were ever growing. I saw at least four women in varying stages of pregnancy, and I wondered if all the babies were Gabriel’s.