I stayed still, not able to move, nod or speak. Tears streamed down my stunned face until I finally took a long breath and nodded.
Exhaling deeply with either relief or panic, he finally turned to look at me. I shied away and faced the window, afraid of his glare and desperate to keep people from seeing me cry.
“Were you not going to tell me, Heidi?” His voice was ripe with disappointment.
I shook my head, unable to speak. Every ounce of strength I had was being used to keep from sobbing. “I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“Why? Why wouldn’t you tell me? We’re going to be in the same city. Why would you keep our baby all to yourself?” His sadness was palpable, and I couldn’t stand it. I grabbed my pillow, turned my head into my seat and wept.
Feeling bad that he’d made me cry, he leaned in closer and rubbed my back, pulling me into his chest. “How long have you known?” He spoke softly, trying to calm me, but my head was buried against his hard pecs and I was so lost in his scent I almost didn’t hear him. “Heidi?”
“Six days today. Oskar, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m new to having sex and I got this shot I was supposed to update quarterly. But I missed my appointment because of what happened a few weeks before we met. By the time I realized it, I was 3 weeks pregnant. I didn’t want to tell you because we’d only had a one- night stand and it would have been perfectly logical for you to ask me to have an abortion and I didn’t want one. I’m not morally opposed. I just don’t want one. I can’t explain why.” I sniffled and wiped my nose before continuing.
“That’s a lot to spring on you when we don’t know each other that well.” I dug deeper into his arms, wanting to feel his warmth all around me. It was the first time in the past few weeks I’d felt safe and happy.
“It was a one-night stand because that’s all you wanted. You know I wanted more.” He kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter. “Why didn’t you want me?”
“I did, but I was scared. You were leaving and I was still trying to get over Arthur. He was the only person I’d ever been with and I just felt like I was setting myself up for another heartbreak.” I gazed up and looked into his soft blue eyes, which wore a strange look of surprise. “What?”
“I’m only the second man you’ve been with? Angel, you are fucking incredible. You’re the best sex I’ve ever had.” He chuckled against my ear as I tried to pull away from him.
“Oskar, I’m trying to have a serious moment.” I pouted and turned away.
“Oh, come on. I’m trying to process all of this and humor helps. I’m just surprised. You’re so good, mouse. You don’t know how often I’ve replayed that night in my mind.” He gave me a serious look.
“Some days I fantasized I had gotten you pregnant. At least that way you wouldn’t have left me.”
My mouth dropped open, but he quickly smirked and shook his head. “It was a fantasy, Heidi. I can fantasize. You know I didn’t do this on purpose either. And incidentally, how were you going to explain yourself if I ran into you in London pushing a pram with a red-haired baby inside?”
“London is huge!”
“That’s not the point.”
“Oh Oskar, I’m sorry. You think I want to do this by myself? I’ll only be 19 when the baby comes. I just didn’t want to drag you into my mess when I didn’t give you a choice. Plus, I didn’t want to find out you were a complete asshole who knows you have a kid and is perfectly fine having nothing to do with it.” I reached for his hand and sighed against his shoulder.
“I’ve liked you from the moment we met, it was never just about the sex, although that would be reason enough, little mouse, you’re unbelievable. I need you Heidi and our baby will need me. We owe it to him or her or them, twins run in my family, to get to know one another better and think about getting married.”
When my expression turned to shock, he placed my face in his hands. “I know we can just be together and co-parent, whatever that shit means, but I’m reasonably traditional and I don’t want our baby born out of wedlock if it can be avoided. You’re only 4 weeks pregnant, we could have a nice courtship and get married before you start showing.”
“Traditional? The first time we had sex I was tied up hanging off a bar from the ceiling!” I countered as he tried to cover my mouth.
“Hush. You’re going to be a mother. You shouldn’t talk that way.” He smiled.
“Besides, I didn’t hear you complain.”
Chapter 10
Conclusion
“This girl is huge.” I stared at our daughter, ravenously feeding from my breast and tried to tame her wild orange hair with a bit of baby oil.
“You’re going to give her a complex.” Oskar scolded me as he gently kissed the top of her head, then kissed me.
“I weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces when I was born and Nana says I only weighed a little more than 12 at 3 months, Oskar. Zoe’s bound to reach 15 pounds by the end of this month the way she’s eating---that’s definitely her Weber side.” I smiled at him as he took her from me and tried to burp her.
“She’s Papa’s big girl, she can’t help it.” He rocked her lovingly until she curled up in his chest and fell asleep.
“Well she looks tiny when you’re holding her.” I grinned as I wiped down my boob and tucked it back in my blouse.
When he saw what I was doing, he narrowed his eyes and shook his head slowly, tsking to reprimand me. “You still have some left. Let me put her down in her crib. I’ll be right back.”
Rushing back to bed, pulling his shirt over his head and dropping his pants, he lunged at me with fiendish intentions. Tugging my shirt back open and pushing me down, I giggled that his fat daughter had already drained me dry, but he went to work investigating for himself.
“You little liar, she was a good girl and left some for her papa.” Oskar massaged my swollen breast to watch my milk seep out of my nipple before he lowered his head and took it all into his hungry mouth. He was so good at feeding, emptying every last drop out gently until the only thing left was building from our mutual arousal and spending hours making love.
Lying in bed, exhausted from Oskar’s incredible skills, listening to my crazy girl cooing on the baby monitor, I was reminded that it had almost been a year since the whole Arthur affair came crashing down around my head. I suppose everything happened exactly as it should. If I hadn’t been busted, I never would have gotten in so much trouble with Ken and he never would have had the leverage to manipulate me into going out with Oskar.
If I’d been in my right mind, I would have gotten my shot and Zoe wouldn’t be around and I probably would have succeeded in pushing Oskar away for good. And that would have been such a tragedy because we would have never fallen so blissfully in love and gotten married. Then it dawned on me. There is a horrible sex tape of me out there and I’ve got a 2 ½ month old daughter! Oh, I’m going to be sick.
The End
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Writer, wife, dachshund lover, Francophile, history buff, sci-fi junkie- I write steamy romance for nerdy girls-- because that's who I am.
A quick glance at my catalog and you'll find I do not devote myself to any one specific type of romance sub-genre: I like historical, sci-fi, humorous, and just plain romantic.
But no matter what kind of story it is, my smart and funny heroines are always adored and my endings are always happy.
Please head to my blog to learn what's in the final stages and will be coming out soon! I welcome feedback and I welcome suggestions, questions, and ideas.
Matilda Martel
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Also by Matilda Martel
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Closing Daddy's Deal Page 3