Soaked

by Courtney Elliott

  “You’re fixing to go to college, Len,” he said. “You’re about to be out on your own for the first time in your life, and the last thing I want to do is hold you back.” I shook my head, but I couldn’t manage to actually form any words. He ran a hand through his slightly longer hair before he looked back down at me. “I just think this is for the best.”

  My vision blurred as the first tears started to come to the surface. My throat ached and another flash of lightning came. That’s when the light finally gave out, bathing us both in darkness. I was happy that at least that meant he wouldn’t see me crying over him.

  “It’s just been rough these last few months. I know I’ve been letting you down, and I hate that,” he said.

  “You haven’t let me down,” I finally managed to whisper.

  “We’ve barely spoke on the phone. This is the first time we’ve even seen each other since New Year’s.” I shook my head at his words. I couldn’t deny that things between us hadn’t exactly been wonderful, but I didn’t think that meant we needed to end this.

  “We can work on it though.”

  “I just think maybe some time apart would be good. You’re just starting college, Len. You should be out meeting people and having the time of your life. I just think that I would hold you back.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Because that’s what I’m doing now. I know you haven’t been hanging out with Katie much lately. I know it’s because you wait for my call. I hate that I’m doing that to you, and I know it would be so much worse in college.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to go out,” I told him. It was the truth. The thought of going to drink never really appealed to me. I’d much rather read a book or talk to West.

  “You should though. I know it might not seem like it now, but what if one day you look back and realize that all you ever did in college was wait around for me? I don’t want you to hate me because of it.”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “How can you know that?”

  “I just do. I’ve seen it a hundred times Len. Couples going off to different colleges and after a month or so, they break up.”

  “So you’d rather break up with me before college?” I was so confused. He ignored my question though.

  “Len, I just think you could miss out on things if you’re always waiting for me.”

  “What would I be missing out on?” He ran his hands through his hair.

  “I don’t know. What if I’m not the guy for you?” I reeled back like he’d slapped me. “What if he’s out there and you’d never know it because you’re convinced I’m the one?”

  “What if you are?” I threw back at him.

  “I want to be the guy for you. I want to be the one that you end up with, but I would hate it if I kept you from finding that out on your own.” I sniffled and I hoped he thought it was from the cold in the air. “What if we keep dating?” He asked. “What if we’re happy and then one day you meet some guy that really is the one? It would kill me to lose you like that.”

  “But this doesn’t?” I asked snarkily. He took my face in his hands as another flash of lightning illuminated his face. In that brief moment, I saw that he was upset. Maybe just as upset as I was.

  “Of course this hurts. Don’t for one second think that I want this.”

  “Then why are you doing it?” I asked.

  “Because we need it. We need to find ourselves Len. We need to figure out who we both want to be, and if we’re meant to be, then I have to believe it will happen.”

  “Did I do something?” I saw him shake his head in the shadows.

  “No, this isn’t because of you. It’s just what I think is best right now.”

  “I don’t want to lose you,” I admitted just as the rain finally began to fall outside. As it hit the awning, I realized that I already had. He had made this decision for us without me, and I knew that no matter what I said, no matter what I did, he wouldn’t change his mind.

  “I’m still your friend, Lennon. Anytime you want to talk, I’ll still be there.” I knew that couldn’t work though. There was no way I would be able to pretend as though West meant nothing to me when in reality, he meant everything.

  I pulled away from him as my tears fell freely down my cheeks. The rain was still coming down as I stepped out. He called my name out to stop me, but I didn’t listen. My heart felt like it was splitting in two as I let the distance between us get larger and larger. I wished more than anything the rain could wash it away as easily as it did my tears.

  All I could think as I made my way back into the house, dripping wet and freezing was that I’d lost him. I’d barely even had him, and somehow I’d lost him.

  Twenty

  “I think that’s the last of it,” I said as I crammed the final box into the trunk of my used little blue Ford. Mom held onto Dad tightly with a tissue in her hand. My eyes watered at the sight of her, and I tried really hard not to let the tears fall. I knew once they started, it would be nearly impossible to stop them. Jameson bounced happily in his seat in front of them.

  I walked over toward him first and knelt down so that we were eye level. “Okay Jameson,” I said. “You’re in charge now. It’s up to you to take care of Mom and Dad. Do you think you can handle that?” He smiled back at me.

  “La, La,” he said. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms tightly around him. He held onto me right back and I couldn’t fight the tears anymore. I hadn’t spent more than a night away from him since the day Mom and Dad brought him home from the hospital. I would miss him like crazy. I kissed the side of his head before I stood up. He smiled up at me and I grinned back.

  Dad was next. He pulled me into a tight hug and whispered how much he loved me. I felt another tear roll down my cheek. “You be good, Len,” he said. “Take care of yourself and don’t ever be afraid to call if you need us.”

  “I will Dad.” He smiled and I moved onto Mom. She didn’t get out a word before she pulled me into a hug tighter than Dad’s. She sniffled into my hair and neither of us actually said a single word. We didn’t need to though. The message was clear. We loved each other, we were going to miss each other, and I was always welcome home.

  After my tearful goodbyes, I walked around and climbed behind the driver’s wheel. I looked back at my family still standing in the driveway and gave them one final wave goodbye. Then I started my engine and headed to the next stop on my list before leaving Leering behind. West.

  He had stayed behind so that he could say goodbye to Katie when she left, and I was determined to talk to him one last time. I had thought about it for almost the two full weeks since he had ended things so I could experience college, and I was pretty certain I had finally figured out what I was going to say to get him to change his mind. I would just make sure he knew that he was it for me. I had started out several text messages since our break up with those same words before deciding that what I needed to say was better said in person. I just hoped he would listen.

  I pulled my car into their driveway and saw that Katie’s silver Jetta was already loaded and ready to go. I parked my car next to hers and turned off the engine. I gave myself a small little pep talk and again ran over what I was going to say to West before finally making my way inside. I could hear voices coming from in the kitchen and I followed them.

  Mrs. Blake was there with Katie. Next to them were Mr. Blake and a woman I had never met before. She looked like she was trying to be Barbie. Her hair was platinum blonde and her clothes were so tight they looked painted on. So much so that it felt inappropriate to look at her for too long.

  “Lennon, how are you?” Mrs. Blake asked. I turned my attention toward her and gave a slight smile.

  “I’m okay. How are you?” She smiled back, but it didn’t reach her eyes. I knew this had to be hard on her. Once Katie left, she would be alone in this house. I couldn’t imagine what she must have been going through.

  Mr. Blake stepped forward next and flashed that t
rademark grin that I knew better than my own. “Lennon, right? So good to see you again.” I had to hand it to him, he at least sounded polite. “I don’t believe you’ve met my wife. This is Alexia Blake.” I looked at her and smiled, but she barely even lifted her lips my way.

  I looked around and noticed there was one person unmistakably absent. “Where’s West?”

  “Yes, Cynthia, where is my son? Avoiding me as usual?” Mrs. Blake narrowed her eyes at her former husband.

  “Maybe he wouldn’t if you treated him a little better when you are around.”

  “I treat him just fine,” Mr. Blake said, irritated. That still didn’t answer my question of where he could be, but I knew I couldn’t ask a second time without raising some eyebrows, namely Katie’s.

  “Can you guys just stop? This is already a pretty crappy day for me and it would be a little better if I didn’t have to listen to you arguing,” Katie said from her spot beside me. Both her parents looked over and I could see the sympathy on her Mom’s face while Mr. Blake’s just looked even more irritated. It made me wonder how these two had ever been as a married couple. I just couldn’t picture it.

  Alexia standing next to Mr. Blake had yet to say a single word and I looked over at her to see if she was even paying attention to what was going on around her. Not surprisingly, her nose was buried in her phone, completely oblivious or just uncaring to those around her. Now that relationship made a lot more sense.

  “I’m sorry dear.” Katie gave her mom a smile before she walked over and pulled her into a hug.

  “Well, I was hoping to say bye to West, but since he’s not showing up, I should probably go ahead and head out. I have a lot of driving ahead of me.” Mrs. Blake’s eyes watered as she looked back at her daughter. It made my chest ache.

  On our way outside, I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked for any missed messages or calls. There was nothing though. My heart cracked at the thought that it really was over for us. Without him even giving me a chance to argue. He just decided we needed to end things, and that was it. My sadness was quickly being replaced by frustration.

  “Are you okay,” Katie whispered. “You’re kind of glaring.” I quickly plastered on a fake smile.

  “Sorry, the sun was in my eyes,” I said quickly. She gave a little nod, and I pushed all thoughts of West aside for the time being. Then I refocused my attention on Katie and her family.

  I waited as she hugged her Dad and the Barbie that still hadn’t said anything. Then finally, she hugged her Mom. They cried together the same way my mother and I had. When they parted, they smiled at one another as they wiped at their eyes.

  “You promise to text me when you get there?” Mrs. Blake asked while Katie made her way to me.

  “Yes, first thing.” Katie stopped in front of me and even though she was smiling, I saw the way her bottom lip trembled. My eyes watered as I looked back at the only best friend I had ever had.

  “I can’t believe this is it,” she said. I shook my head.

  “It’s not. You’re still going to be my best friend. I’m still going to talk to you like every night. I want to hear about all the boys at UT that can’t get enough of you.” She laughed.

  “That goes for you too. Tell me about the nerds that sweep you and those incredible legs off their feet.” I laughed before pulling her into a hug.

  “I’m gonna miss you so much Len,” she said.

  “I’m gonna miss you too Katie.” Then she pulled back and looked at me.

  “I’m gonna come visit you as soon as I can.”

  “I’ll be ready. We’ll hit the bars and get into all kinds of trouble.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.” Then we gave each other one last hug. I knew that no matter what Katie and I would always be great friends, but that didn’t make this goodbye any easier. Our lives were taking us in two completely different directions and even though the promise that we would see each other again was made, the possibility of it actually happening was questionable.

  As Katie and I climbed into our separate cars and waved goodbye to each other one last time, the tears finally started to fall freely. I was happy to be starting a new chapter, but at the same time I was sad to be leaving so much behind.

  Twenty-One

  I was in the middle of typing out a paper for my English professor when something landed hard against my bedroom door. I jumped at the sound before I got up and walked over to my closed door. I opened it and peeked out into the hallway nervously. I wasn’t sure what exactly was being tossed around out there, and with my crazy three roommates, it really could be anything.

  The hallway seemed clear and I looked down at the floor. Lying in front of my feet was a bright purple dildo with a note attached. I couldn’t help but smile as I leaned down to retrieve my message. Inside was the handwriting that could only belong to the oldest of my three new roommates, Layla.

  Lennon-

  I saw this and thought you might like it. It will come in real handy for all those nights you ditch us in favor of hanging out in your room ‘studying’.

  I laughed at her message before tossing the note into my waste bin and heading out in search of the girls. It didn’t take me long to locate them hiding out in Jessie’s room. They burst into laughter when I stepped inside. Layla was wearing a particularly goofy grin on her face. Clearly, she thought her little dildo note carrier was the most clever and hilarious thing she could have done.

  “What is going on?”

  “Well you see the girls and I are going to this awesome party tonight and we figured if we just asked you like we normally do, then you would tell us no,” Jessie said simply. “So, Layla suggested we try things a little differently this time around.” The girls snickered again.

  “You can’t keep it unless you come with us,” Layla said. I raised my brows back at her.

  “What makes you think I want to keep it? I have no idea where that things been.” Layla scrunched her nose at my suggestion.

  “Okay, that’s just nasty and I would think you would know me well enough to figure out that I would never touch a used dildo unless it was mine, and in that case I most certainly would not be giving it away.” I supposed that made some sense.

  “Come on Lennon, you never come out with us. It could be a lot of fun.”

  “I can’t,” I said back. “I have this paper due Monday.”

  “There will always be something due on Monday, but you only get to go to college once. Live a little,” Bri, the youngest roommate besides me said from her spot on Jessie’s bed. I let out a sigh. In all honesty, going out with them did sound like fun, and I was in desperate need of some of that. I hadn’t left this house except to go to class and work since I first got here almost two months ago. Plus, like they said, I would only go to college once. I needed to experience everything it had to offer.

  “I don’t have anything to wear,” I said, giving in. All three of them squealed with delight before coming over to me and giving me a group hug. I started to laugh. Even though I hadn’t known these girls for long, they were quickly becoming some of my best friends.

  They didn’t make me feel like an outcast for staying home to study, they just wanted me to tag along. Every time they would get into a debate about which A-list celeb was the hottest, they would ask for my input. Even though I gave the same answer every single time. What can I say? I’ve been a George Clooney fan since I was a little girl and the man still looks amazing. I still didn’t have the connection with them that I shared with Katie, but that friendship was five years in the making.

  I missed her like crazy. We had only been able to catch each other on the phone a couple of times since going away to separate colleges, but the last time we spoke, we promised to meet up in a few months. A part of me wanted to ask about West. I wanted to know if he had thought about me at all since he left Leering. In the two months since he told me goodbye, I hadn’t heard from him. That probably had something to do with the fact that I blocked his number th
ough. Despite his promise that we could still be friends, I didn’t feel like doing that to myself. I knew I would still have the same feelings that I had while we were more. I just didn’t think I could pretend so I figured it was better to not even tempt myself.

  I let all thoughts of West drift away as I let go of my roommates and took a step back. Jessie immediately rushed over to her closet to find me the ‘perfect outfit’, Layla went to work getting about a million and one hair products out, and Bri was in charge of makeup.

  It only took them a half hour to take me from frumpy college nerd to kinda hot college nerd. Then we all piled into Layla’s white Range Rover and headed to this party they had all heard about from this guy in Bri’s Psyche class.

  By the time we had arrived, the place was in full swing. There had to have been at least two hundred cars parked in front of the building, leaving us to find a space a block away. I was nervous as I walked up with the three of them. Even though they had improved my look, I was still me and this place was not something I was used to. Not to mention the fact that I was wearing six inch heels when I had a hard time staying balanced in my converse.

  “Bri, you made it,” some guy yelled out at us once we reached the lawn. He made his way over with a grin that let us instantly know just how happy he was to see Bri.

  “Hey Patrick,” she said with an easy smile. “These are my roommates; this is Layla, Jessie, and Lennon.” Patrick glanced over each of us before his gaze quickly found it’s way back to Bri.

  “Do you want something to drink?” He offered. Bri looked toward us. After getting a collective nod, she grinned at Patrick and they walked off together.

  “She must be on cloud nine right now,” Jessie said as we continued to make our way into the party.

  “Why?” I asked. Layla turned toward me.

  “She’s been into Patrick since June. They’ve been in this kind of friends with benefits type thing,” she said.