Mrs. Stone waved Alli’s greeting away. “Please, call me Pilar. I’ve told you a hundred times.”
Alli smiled meekly. Mrs. Stone would never feel like a ‘Pilar’ to Alli. She was such an intimidating powerhouse of a woman. Mrs. Stone turned to Jason. “Isn’t our Alli lovely? I’m so excited to see what you come up with.” She made a move toward peeking at Jason’s sketch pad, but he held it close to his chest, smiling to soften his refusal. “I don’t like to reveal works in progress.” He said apologetically. Mrs. Stone shrugged, undaunted.
“Are you two almost finished here? I’d love to take you to luncheon.” Jason made his excuses, but Alli had a clear schedule, so she ended up leaving with Mrs. Stone. Before they departed, Alli turned to Jason. “So, I guess I should check with Emiline about the next session?” She was trying to determine when he was free to finish the talk they so desperately needed to have. He nodded, but stopped himself from reaching out to take her hand. “Yes,” He said softly. “She knows my availability.”
Alli knew she couldn’t keep this community college farce up for long. She needed to come clean with Jason, and soon. She wasn’t proud about it, but she was slowly coming to accept the realization that she was a coward.
What if he freaks out?
Wouldn’t you? You’ll be lucky if he wants anything to do with you after this.
Alli couldn’t bear the thought of Jason shunning her. Every time she started to psych herself up to tell him the truth, she would lose her courage. How had this gotten so complicated? It was one thing to lie about her age, but that had turned into the tip of the iceberg.
‘Oh what a tangled web we weave...’ Alli growled at her conscience. She was beginning to fear she had some form of split personality disorder. How could one person be so conflicted?
Ultimately, Alli decided to put pleasure before pain. She would tell Jason the truth, but why let it spoil the last little bit of time they had together before school started?
It was a simple enough thing to avoid the subject. Alli made sure they did very little talking. Jason seemed more than happy to oblige her. Alli encouraged him every possible way she could think of, trying to build a treasury of memories to hold on to should Jason put an end to her bliss.
Alli splashed cold water on her face and dried it with a hand towel. Her hands shook as she hung the towel back on the rack. She was in Jason’s bathroom, trying to get up the nerve to tell him the truth.
“Alli? How do you want your eggs?” He called out from the kitchen.
It was a little ritual they had started, breakfast for dinner. They would spend the afternoon working up an appetite, then lounge together on Jason’s couch, eating elaborate breakfasts. Pancakes one night, french toast the next. At first Jason had tried to take her out, but every time he asked, Alli would make up an excuse, or offer him an irresistible reason to stay in.
Tonight was the night. She had to tell him. School started tomorrow, and her go-to excuse of not wanting to ruin the rest of the summer had officially expired.
“Fried.” She called back.
Jason set her plate before her on the coffee table. Alli’s nerves had destroyed any traces of an appetite, and she wondered if she should risk trying to eat, if only for the sake of putting things off by a few more minutes. She was caught off guard by the tiny little fried eggs artfully arranged atop a piece of toast as if they were little flowers. She burst out laughing.
“What is this? Where on earth did you get doll sized eggs?”
Jason was smiling back at her. “I ran out of regular eggs, so I had to use Banty eggs.”
“What’s a Banty?” Alli asked in alarm. She didn’t like the idea of eating a mystery egg. Margot had tricked her into eating squab once. It had come arranged in such a way that Alli hadn’t realized it was a baby pigeon until after she had eaten a few bites.
“Relax,” Jason chuckled. “It’s just a breed of chicken. You’ve never noticed the smaller chickens in the yard?”
“I just figured they weren’t full grown yet.”
“Well, they are. They’re called Bantam’s. They’re like the Napoleons of poultry.”
Alli giggled at the mental image that inspired.
Sitting there with Jason, eating and snuggling, was Alli’s idea of heaven. She couldn’t bring herself to ruin it by dropping her bomb on Jason. Not tonight. There would be time enough for that tomorrow.
* * * * *
Mary Taylor was delighted to see the second easel set up in the corner of the shop. She had missed the quiet studio sessions painting with her son. He had a natural gift, and it had pained her greatly when he had stopped painting.
She poked around the rack in search of a fresh canvass, eager to see what he was working on.
She spotted the canvass of Alli almost immediately. Pulling it from the rack, she set it on the easel to see it better. It was only a quarter of the way finished, but already it promised to be quite breathtaking.
Mary’s excitement over her son’s renewed interest in art was amplified by his choice of subject. This girl, ‘Alli’ was it? She really was a beautiful creature. It was a shame the painting wasn’t finished yet. It would have been a perfect addition to the showing at the Garden Club fund raiser. Though, she supposed Jason wouldn’t be willing to part with this particular piece.
* * * * *
Alli surveyed the crowded lunch tables with little enthusiasm. Having spent the last four summers here, she knew a good number of the other students, by face if not by name. Spotting a trio of girls she met at a horseback riding camp last year, she approached their table and asked if she might join them. The closest girl to the end, Libby, was an effervescent, pixie-like girl with short cropped brown hair and matching sparkling brown eyes.
“Alli! Of course you can join us! You go here now?” Libby scooted down the bench to make room for Alli. “Sienna, Ellen, remember Alli from camp?”
Sienna and Ellen both smiled warmly in welcome as pleasantries were exchanged.
“Sienna here was just waxing poetic about our dreamy new English teacher.” Teased Libby. Sienna smiled shyly, a light blush coloring her pale skin. Coupled with her freckles and copper colored hair, she was becoming comically pink. “Have you seen him? He is dreamy. I most definitely feel I’m going to need some English tutoring this semester.”
Ellen rolled her eyes. She had the sophistication of a much older woman. Her silky black hair was cut in an edgy page boy, and the school uniform looked more like a fashion choice on her than the mandatory dress code that it was. “Really, Sienna, the whole ‘hot for teacher’ thing was played out last year.”
Sienna was undaunted by Ellen’s patronizing. “He’s gorgeous.”
Alli chuckled at the girls’ theatrics, and joined in the play. “Which English teacher? I have English next period, maybe I’ll get lucky.”
“Mr. Taylor.” Sighed Sienna.
Alli referenced her index card schedule. The type was small and a bit smudged, but in the column next to fifth period English was the name ‘Taylor’. Libby read over her shoulder. “Taylor!” She gave a small clap. “Trust us, you’ll see what we’re talking about.”
Alli smiled politely, and tucked her schedule back into her bag. The name Taylor made her think of Jason, which wasn’t saying a lot because practically everything made her think of Jason. How ever hot this Mr. Taylor was, he could hardly be as amazing as her Mr. Taylor.
Alli’s heart thudded in nervous anticipation of the talk she had planned for that night. She was going to tell him the truth. For better or worse, she owed him the gift of honesty, and she hoped fervently that the love for her that shined in his eyes was strong enough to overcome this... issue.
The rest of the lunch period was spent talking about horses, and an upcoming dressage event. By the time the bell rang, Alli had all but forgotten about the alleged hotness factor of her next instructor. That is, until she rounded the corner into the classroom and caught a glimpse of him at his
desk.
Alli froze.
The jet black hair. The broad shoulders. The square jaw. She would know them anywhere. His face was turned toward a student at his desk, so he didn’t see her right away. He must have caught her movement in his peripheral vision, because just as she was making up her mind to dash out of there, he turned to face her.
Jason’s pulse raced at the sight of Alli. Had she come to surprise him for lunch? A pity she was an hour late... Jason’s warm smile began to fade as he took in Alli’s look of horrified shock. The next thing to register in his mind was the fact that Alli was dressed in the school uniform, and holding a student add slip, which he would need to sign, because she was in fact, a student.
Suddenly Jason was staring in his own nightmare version of The Twilight Zone.
This was impossible. A student? Alli was a student? This didn’t add up. His brain wouldn’t let him draw the logical conclusions because his heart refused to believe that Alli, his Alli, could have been lying to him all this time.
He was shaken from his stupor by the ringing of the bell. Standing, he cleared his throat and motioned for the students milling about to take their seats.
“Good afternoon, class. My name is Mr. Taylor, and this is AP English Lit. Please check your schedules to make sure you are all in the correct class. Late registers, I’ll need to sign your add slips.
Dropping her bag in a seat, Alli slowly made her way to Jason’s desk. She waited while he signed add slips for two other students. When it was her turn, he signed the slip with a curt, “Thank you, Ms. Wilson, take a seat.” and then launched in to an explanation of the syllabus.
Alli mechanically took her seat, pushing her bag off the chair so it landed with a thud beside her, and staring at Jason like a deer caught in headlights. He paid her no attention, not even so much as making eye contact with her.
Though it seemed an eternity to Alli, the bell finally rang, signaling the end of class. As the sharp buzz of the bell ended, Jason finally looked at her. His eyes were intense, silently warning her not to dare approach him in this setting. She could see the muscles in his jaw clenched tight with emotion. Alli looked down, breaking the connection, and timidly made her way out of his classroom. She would hear from him soon enough.
* * * * *
“Margot, I screwed up.”
Alli was sitting in her darkened bedroom, the light from her lap top screen illuminating her enough to be seen by Margot.
“Why are you sitting in the dark? I can barely see you.” Margot frowned at her screen. “Have you been crying? Alli, what’s going on?”
“I’ve made a colossal mistake.” Alli could feel a fresh wave of tears coming on.
“What happened? Is it Mom? Did something happen at school? What?!”
“It’s Jason.” Alli couldn’t hold back her tears, and she sobbed loudly into the webcam.
Margot sighed in sympathy.
“Did he go back to school? Aw, Alli, you knew he was leaving.”
Alli shook her head. “It’s not that.” She wiped her face on a tissue and took a deep breath to compose herself. “I lied, Margot. Kind of.”
“About what?”
“About Jason being home from college. I mean, technically he is home from college, but he graduated over a year ago.”
“OooKaaaay.” Margot was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“He graduated, Margot.”
“Uh huh, and?”
“With his master’s degree, Margot. Do the math.”
“What?” Margot’s eyes bulged round like saucers. “Oh. He’s older than you said. Yeah, I figured. He didn’t look nineteen. Why is this suddenly tear worthy?” Margot’s head snapped up with a sudden thought. “Oh, God. Did you guys get caught fooling around?”
Alli cringed. “No. Worse.” Alli started crying again.
Margot became very serious. “Oh my God, Alli. Are you pregnant?”
This time Alli’s head snapped up. “What?! No! Jesus, Margot.”
“Then what is it? Stop keeping me in suspense.”
“He’s my English teacher, Margot.”
Margot gasped. “What? Seriously?” Margot was quiet for a moment, then, “That’s kind of hot.”
Alli was not in the right frame of mind to appreciate Margot’s humor.
“It is not!” She moaned. “You should have seen his face when I walked in to his classroom...”
“You mean you never told him the truth?! Alli!”
Alli dropped her face into her hand. “I was planning to, I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I was waiting for the right time. And now it’s too late, and he hates me.”
Margot didn’t know what to say. She hated to see her little sister in such obvious distress, but at the same time, she knew Alli had brought this on herself. Margot felt a little responsible too. She hadn’t seen a problem with Alli exaggerating her age by a year or two in order to flirt with a neighboring college boy over the summer. When it was obvious that Alli wanted to take it further, Margot hadn’t seen a problem with that either, so long as Alli came clean about her actual age. Five or six years difference didn’t seem like that big of a deal to Margot, but she could see how Jason might have a difference of opinion.
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. He just ignored me and talked about the syllabus.”
“Well of course he didn’t say anything at school. What were you expecting? You have to go talk to him Alli. You owe him an explanation.”
Alli stared grimly at her computer screen. She knew Margot was right. It was time to take responsibility for her lies. She owed him that much.
Alli knew she couldn’t avoid Jason forever. She decided it would be better to just get it over with, rather than have to sit through another class with him, not knowing where they stood.
Slipping on a hooded sweatshirt, she glanced at the clock. Nine fifteen. She hoped her mom and grandparents wouldn’t question her sudden urge to take a moon lit walk.
Jason wasn’t in the carriage house. She was going to play the part of the coward and just head home, when she noticed a light on in the shop. It was risky. It could be Mrs. Taylor. Alli shrugged and decided to take her chances. Now that Jason knew she was in high school, she wasn’t worried about what to say to his parents. She was just the kid from next door, probably coming by to ask a school related question.
The large rolling door was closed, but a rectangle of light from the open side door fell across the gravel of the walk. Alli’s feet made a soft crunching sound as she made her way tentatively toward the door.
He was sitting on a rough wooden chair in the middle of the shop with his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. He knew she was there, but didn’t move or look up to acknowledge her.
She made her way over to a chair by the utility sink and quietly sat down. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. She just waited for what seemed an eternity. By the time he spoke she was growing cold, and distracted herself by watching a moth dancing and fluttering around the naked bulb above the sink.
“How old are you, Alli?” His voice was rough from disuse, and held a steel tone that made her shiver more than the temperature of the shop.
Her answer was little more than a whisper. “Seventeen.”
He drew a deep breath in and looked up at the ceiling as if silently asking for strength. She could see his jaw muscles clench and unclench themselves. When he finally looked at her she wasn’t prepared for the force of his gaze. She had expected anger, contempt even, but she hadn’t expected such a look of hurt and sorrow.
Her face crumbled and a large lump grew in her throat. “Jason,” She stood up, but he held his hand out, stopping both her speech and her forward movement.
She sat back down on the rickety chair and kept her eyes trained on her knees. She could see little dark patches forming on her jeans where her tears were landing and absorbing into the material. “I’m sorry.” She cried. “I’m so so sorry.
I never meant for things to turn out like this... I don’t blame you for hating me.” She wept. The hot tears were coming faster, and her shoulders shook with her quiet sobs.
Jason’s voice was right next to her when he said just loud enough for her to hear, “I don’t hate you, Alli.” He was holding a handkerchief out for her to take. She took it and pressed it against her wet cheeks. She didn’t want to soil it by blowing into it, so she dabbed daintily at her runny nose.
“You’re not mad?” Her eyes were round and doe-like and her eyelashes were clumped together with tears.
“I was.” His voice was flat. “At first I was shocked, wondering what kind of cruel joke this was. After the shock wore off I was angry. Do you realize what something like this could mean for me? For my career? The implications this could have on my life?”
Alli shook her head, “I would never have said anything! I would never want to get you in trouble!”
“Lying to me like that was a selfish and foolish thing to do, and it didn’t make any sense to me because the Alli I know isn’t a selfish and foolish girl.”
Alli’s eyes lit up a moment. “Does that mean you forgive me? Jason, I’ll be eighteen in eleven months-” He gently stopped her.
“Yes, I forgive you Alli, but that doesn’t mean I think we should continue to see each other. Even after you’re legal.” Alli let out a small gasp. “I thought about it! God knows I tried to justify finding a way to make it work. I was going to wait for you Alli.” Jason dropped down beside her and looked imploringly into her eyes. “It wouldn’t be right, Alli. Believe me when I say that this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but I am an adult, and it is my responsibility to do the right thing here.”
Alli was frowning in disbelief. “But it’s only eleven months!”
“No, Alli, that’s not the point. I’m your teacher for God sakes! You’re seventeen. You should be enjoying your senior year, going to football games, dating guys your own age, thinking about college.”
“I don’t like football, and I don’t want to date boys my own age. I want you! And I know you want me too.” Alli put a hand on Jason’s cheek and pressed her lips against his. He sighed in sadness and pulled away from her.
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