“Alli, you can’t do that to me. You need to stay away from me - if not out of common sense, than at least out of mercy. Do you think this is easy for me? Have you not been listening to a thing I’ve said? Of course I want you!” Jason stood and ran his hands roughly through his hair. He paced back and forth in front of Alli’s chair, taking deep breaths and counting silently in his head. Finally he turned back to her. “I think it would be best if we avoided each other for a while. I’m going to transfer you out of my class-”
Alli jumped up. “No! Don’t transfer me, please!”
“Alli, we need to put distance between us,” he held up his hand to stop her from interrupting, “even if it’s only for the next eleven months.” Jason took hold of her shoulders, partly to focus her attention and partly to keep her from touching him. “I’ll make you a deal. You do your best to forget about me, and date guys your own age - really give them a chance - and if you still feel as strongly about us in eleven months, we’ll revisit our relationship.”
Alli clung to his wavering, a flicker of hope quickening her pulse. “Fine. I’ll date high school boys.” Then, off Jason’s look of annoyance, she grabbed tightly to his wrists at her shoulders. “No, really. I’ll give them an honest chance! But please don’t transfer me. I promise, I don’t expect you to treat me any differently than any other student, and I’ll treat you with the same respect I give all my teachers. Is it really so much to ask? Being in the same room with me one hour a day?”
Alli knew he could see the sheer panic in her eyes. She followed his gaze when he broke eye contact to stare at her grip on his wrists. Hastily she released him and stepped out of his hold. “Please,” She said again. “Don’t transfer me.”
Against his better judgement, Jason reluctantly agreed not to transfer Alli.
He moved over to the door and grabbed ahold of the door knob, jerking it open another few inches. “Good night, Alli.”
Alli paused for a fraction of a second as she brushed past him. It wasn’t going to be easy getting used to being dismissed by Jason.
Fighting against every piece of herself that wanted to collapse into his arms, she settled for a quiet, “Good night. See you tomorrow.” and walked out into the darkness.
Jason closed the door softly behind her. His half finished canvass caught his eye, and he went over to it. Alli’s eyes peered back at him, full of admiration. He gently traced the curve of her cheek. With a heavy sigh, he took the painting from the easel and slid it into the vertical rack.
“Margot! You’re never going to guess who I was just with.” Alli was clutching her phone like a vice.
“Mrs. Stone.” Said Margot in her best know-it-all voice. “I called earlier and Greg told me you had gone to lunch with her.”
Alli rolled her eyes despite the fact that Margot couldn’t see her. “I meant before that.” She said in exasperation.
“Well, you said to guess who you were just with.”
“MARGOT.” Alli shouted. “I’m being serious.”
Margot sounded adequately contrite. “Sorry. So tell me. Who were you with?”
Alli took a deep breath. “Jason.”
“Jason who?” Margot sounded confused.
“Jason Jason.” Alli answered.
There was silence on the other end of the line, then, “Are you serious? You found him? What happened?”
Alli was pleased to hear her sister sounding as breathless as she felt. “Technically I found him five days ago.” She answered. “But I didn’t get to talk to him until today.”
“WHAT?! You found him five days ago and you didn’t think to call me?”
“I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do. He was so angry and cold. It was every bad thought and nightmare I had ever feared actually happening in real life.”
“That bad? What did he do?” Margot was captivated. She had already forgiven Alli her secret.
“He told me I was dead to him and to get the hell out. Well, maybe not in so many words, but the sentiment was there.”
“Oookay. Well, we had prepared for that kind of reaction. So what made him talk to you today?”
“Greg.” Alli cringed as she said Greg’s name.
“Allison Wilson, stop dragging this out and tell me what the hell happened!” Margot had lost all patience. How on earth had Greg become involved in all this?
Alli quickly explained how Greg had bought the painting that started her searching again, and how he had ultimately commissioned a portrait from Jason, not knowing of Jason and Alli’s past. “He goes by Ogden now.”
“So he works with Greg’s mother? What are the odds?” Margot was blown away. “So now what?”
Alli sighed a deep sigh. “I don’t know. We kept getting interrupted, but he definitely seems willing to talk to me. I just need to catch him when he’s not busy.”
“But what are you planning to say to him?” Margot was choosing her words carefully.
“Everything! I want to explain what happened. I want to tell him about the deal. I want to apologize!” Alli was talking so rapidly it was difficult for Margot to keep up. “But most of all I want to throw myself at his feet and beg him to forgive me. I want him to take me back. I want to be his again, Mags.” Alli was weeping by this time.
“And Greg? How does he fit into all of this?” Margot kept her voice low and soothing.
Alli blew her nose. “I need to break up with him either way. Ellen is right. It’s not fair of me to hold on to him like this. At least if he’s free he’ll have the option of finding someone else. Someone that can truly love him. He’s a good person.”
Margot was quiet for a moment, listening to the sounds of her sister snuffling on the other end of the line. “Well, do you want my advice?” She had put on her big-sister voice. “You’re probably not going to like it.”
“Yes. What’s your advice?” Alli asked in a small voice.
“Break up with Greg first. Do it now. Today. Before you go chasing after Jason. Make sure there are no obstacles in your way this time.”
Alli dropped her head into her arms on the table. “You’re right.” She said in a muffled voice. “I don’t like it.”
Alli’s school days became divided up in to three distinct parts. The morning, where time seemed to drag hopelessly slowly, and she spent her time counting the minutes until fifth period. Fifth period, where time seemed to fly by much too fast, and she spent her time trying to concentrate on the assignments while gazing longingly at the polished Mr. Taylor. And the afternoon, where time was sluggish again, and she watched the clock, waiting for the releasing tone of the last bell, so she could make her way home to wallow in self pity in private.
The school’s homecoming dance was not Alli’s idea of a fun way to spend an evening. Aside from hating school dances in general, the practical girl in her also hated the idea of wasting money on a dress she would only wear once. It was only her promise to Jason to date boys her own age that made her hide her immediate reaction to being asked to said dance by none other than Josh Saunders.
She and Ellen were standing in front of her locker when he approached them. He was tall and lanky, his frame whispering at the man he would one day become. He really was a nice boy, and Alli felt a twinge of sadness that she had never been attracted to him in any way. It certainly would have made things a lot less complicated for her. A lot less complicated, but at the cost of never having loved Jason.
“Hey Alli, Ellen.” He said, nodding to each of them in turn.
They gave him friendly smiles.
“Uh, Alli. I’m glad I caught you. Sorry I haven’t been able to say ‘hi’ before now - I’ve seen you in the halls...”
“That’s okay,” She answered, “It’s only the first week of school.”
He laughed as if she had said something funny. “I just didn’t want you to think I was deliberately ignoring you or anything.”
“No, not at all. That really hadn’t entered into my mind.”
Josh smil
ed and nodded in relief. “Oh, good.”
Watching his discomfort was becoming physically painful for Ellen. He was like a wounded animal and she just wanted to put him out of his misery.
Alli closed her locker as a way of announcing she was finished and planing to leave. “Well, see you around-”
He cut her off. “Actually, I was wondering if you would want to be my date for homecoming.” Josh could feel his eyebrow twitching. It was his tell-tale nervous tick.
“Oh, well, this is a surprise. I’m flattered.” She stumbled over her response, not able to fully accept the invitation.
Josh was sweating profusely under his letterman’s jacket, and he stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans in an effort to disguise their shaking. He had been thrilled to discover that Alli was attending Roosevelt High this year, and was hopeful that they could reignite the small flame he had sparked with her last summer.
“So, does that mean you’ll go with me?” He asked, noting that she hadn’t actually said “yes.”
Alli admired the courage it took for him to stand before her, opening himself up to rejection. She also knew she wouldn’t be doing either of them any favors by agreeing to go to homecoming with him. He obviously thought there was a chance of something developing between them, when she knew that no such chance existed. It would be cruel to lead him on.
Seeing the inner war playing out in Alli’s eyes, Ellen jumped in before the situation could grow even more awkward. “Oh, sorry Josh, but Alli has already agreed to take my cousin to homecoming.”
This news startled him. “Really?” He looked to Alli for confirmation. “You already have a date?”
Alli was dumbstruck. Ellen didn’t miss a beat. “She’s doing it as a favor to me. He’s practically a make-a-wish candidate.”
Josh looked crestfallen. “Oh, I see. Well, that’s awfully nice of you Alli. Maybe we can catch another movie sometime or something?”
Alli smiled warmly, and hating herself for being such a coward, she answered him with an open ended, non-committal, “That’d be great.”
When they were safely out of ear shot Alli turned to Ellen. “You realize that I have to go to homecoming now or risk looking like a complete asshole.”
“You’re welcome.” Ellen said, then, off Alli’s look, “You should have seen your face! You were choking back there.” Alli just shook her head in high spirited disbelief.
“Hey, we can always tell Josh your plans changed...”
Alli jumped to answer. “No, no, no need to do that. But that does leave us the problem of finding a suitable guy to play the part of your cousin.”
Ellen beamed impishly. “No problem. I actually do have a cousin. And he would love to take you to homecoming.”
Ellen never ceased to surprise Alli. “How can you be so sure he’d be willing to take a complete stranger to homecoming?”
Ellen cocked a brow at Alli in mock exasperation. “Uh, hello? You’re hot. Believe me, he’s going to be thanking me for the opportunity.”
“Well, thank you for that vote of confidence. Where does he go, anyway?”
Ellen studied Alli for a moment, deciding on whether she should down play her answer, or defend it. She landed on defend.
“Don’t get all high and mighty, or freak out,” She started.
“This doesn’t sound promising.” Alli looked skeptical.
“He’s just a little misunderstood.”
Alli stopped walking and turned to face Ellen directly. “Okay, now you’re freaking me out. Is he in juvy or something?”
Ellen laughed. “Of course not. He’s long since out grown the stupid boy phase that landed him in juvy. He goes to Bridges.”
“Bridges? The alternative school? Wait- ‘landed him in juvy’? So he does have a record. Great.”
Ellen pursed her lips. “Don’t be so quick to judge, Alli. It was a long time ago. Derek is a really nice guy.” She could see appealing to Alli’s liberal side was the way to go. “We all make mistakes in our youth. The important thing is to learn from them.”
The bell rang. Alli sighed and hiked her backpack farther up her shoulder. “You’re right. And thanks.”
Ellen winked. “See ya at lunch.” With that, she sauntered down the hall, exuding feline grace.
“I’m heading out, Emiline. I should be back in an hour.” Jason breezed by the front desk and out the door.
“Sure thing, Boss.” Emiline said to the closing door. He had been acting a little off lately, and she wondered if it had anything to do with his muse suddenly coming around.
As if summoned by her thoughts, Alli appeared in the doorway. “Hello. Is Jason around?” She asked hopefully. Emiline smiled at Alli. She could see why Jason was so inspired by this woman. She really was a beauty.
“You just missed him.” Alli’s face fell, and Emiline couldn’t resist trying to appease her. “But if you hurry you can probably catch him. He’s headed toward Third.”
“Thanks!” Alli chirped, and darted back out the door without even so much as a ‘goodbye’.
Jason kept a brisk pace. As had become the norm these past few days, his thoughts were being monopolized by one thing and one thing only; Alli. He was so absorbed in speculating on what she could possibly have to tell him to explain her abandonment, that he imagined he could even hear her voice calling his name. As he waited for the crosswalk signal to change, her voice grew louder and he turned to find it wasn’t his imagination after all. Alli was running toward him, beautifully out of breath, bright patches of pink high on her cheeks.
Without warning his body responded to the sight of her. Well, so much for denying there was still chemistry between them.
“Jason! You’re a hard man to catch.” She teased.
Jason was captivated by the light-hearted spring in her step and the impish twinkle in her eyes. It was almost as if the past six years had never happened and she was a carefree girl again. He wanted desperately to hang on to that feeling. He didn’t want to get in to a heavy conversation with her right now. Not at the risk of losing this Alli.
“Well, you’ve caught me now.” He answered.
She cocked her head and smiled, her long blond ponytail swinging to the side. “Mind if I join you?” She asked.
He could see himself reacting to her as if watching a scene play out on a movie screen. No amount of shouting at the images would stop the characters from doing what was in the script. He knew to encourage this dialogue could only bring him trouble and heart ache, but he just couldn’t resist. “That depends. Have you had lunch?”
Alli frowned prettily in disappointment. “Yes, but I wouldn’t mind sitting with you while you ate.”
He smiled a crooked smile. “I’m not on my way to eat.”
“Oh.” She looked confused.
“But you’re still welcome to join me... On one condition.” He offered.
Alli raised her brows in a silent question. Jason could swear her eyes could make themselves bigger on demand. It was all he could do to stay focused on the conversation. “You have to promise to participate in what I’m doing.”
Alli smiled and bit her bottom lip. She nodded her head to accept the challenge. “Okay.”
“Really?” Jason was surprised at how easy that had been. He didn’t know that Alli would have agreed to anything to be allowed to stay with him. He was her sun, and there was no warmth for Alli when he was gone. She just needed to get him to see that.
“Yes.”
“You’re not even going to ask what I’m doing?” The light finally changed and he began walking again, Alli keeping pace close beside him. “No. I trust you.” She answered.
They were poignant words, and he paused a half step to look at her. “Good.” He said. “Because we’re here.” He motioned to the building in front of them. Alli recognized the iconic red cross symbol above the door, and her heart skipped a beat. A blood bank?
“Alli, we’re going to be late!” Linda called from the foot of
the stairs. Alli had been moping around the house for the past two weeks, and in an effort to help bring her out of her gloom, Linda had insisted she accompany her grandparents and her to the Garden Club’s charity auction.
“Oh, Alli, you look lovely!” Encouraged her mother as Alli made her way down the stairs. She was wearing a simple black cocktail dress with kitten heels. Her hair was tied in a french knot at her nape. She had on very little make-up, and no jewelry with the exception of the silver goat charm necklace that she never took off. She felt quite sophisticated.
She tried to smile for her mother’s sake, but she knew it didn’t reach her eyes.
The Garden Club was a short drive into town. Alli sighed wistfully, remembering the last time she had been there, the day she had brought canvasses for the art show with Jason.
It looked much the same tonight as it had seven weeks ago, except this time it was full of people milling about, studying the art on the walls, and chatting over champagne flutes.
Alli recognized some of Jason’s mother’s pieces on the wall, and her pulse accelerated at the thought that he might be in attendance tonight.
She looked surreptitiously around the room, disappointed when her search failed to turn up a certain dark haired man. Returning to her mother’s side, she was caught off guard to see Linda in deep conversation with none other than Mary Taylor. Alli recognized her from pictures in Jason’s apartment, but she would have known her anyway. Mary shared her son’s dark black hair and deep grey eyes. Alli did another quick glance around, but there was still no sign of Jason.
“...almost back to his old self.” Mary was saying, presumably about the state of her husband’s recovery.
“Ladies, your champagne.” Came a familiar voice from behind. Alli’s heart jumped into her throat and her stomach did a flip. Turning around ungraciously fast, she almost knocked the proffered champagne flutes from Jason’s hands. His eyes lit with surprise at seeing Alli, but he recovered so quickly she almost doubted he had been effected at all.
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