by Dani Hoots
“You lied to me, you said I would still have control!” I yelled out into the abyss.
“I do what I need to do to survive. None have ever fought this hard. You should never have been able to get yourself out of the prison your soul was in.”
“Then you should have never picked a fight with a machi!” I yelled as I kept fighting. I felt my control over my body return and suddenly there was light again. I felt my body once more, as it fell to the ground below where I was standing. I opened my eyes to find only the near-full moon casting light across the forest. I had regained power at last. I moved my arms. Yes, I had control.
The feeling of pure happiness was quickly destroyed as I glanced around. There, on the ground, lay three bodies. The bodies of people from my tribe. And I knew the Peuchen inside of me had done this harm.
I knelt down next to them. I examined Urpi and Yaku’s bodies, who had been attacked the most by the peuchen. Their throats were ripped apart, blood gushing out onto the dried up leaves and they weren’t moving. “Urpi! Yaku! Are you okay?”
They didn’t respond.
“No,” I touched my lips to find blood smeared across them. I could taste the metallic liquid in my mouth. It finally hit me. I had done this—though not directly. But it was because of my decision that all this had happened. “This can’t be happening. It made me attack my own people.”
Micos, the last person I hadn’t checked yet, let out a quiet murmur. I quickly rushed to his side. His wound was much smaller, as the creature had attacked him last and I quickly intervened by destroying that creature’s presence in my body.
“Micos, are you okay? Wake up.” Seeing him like this made my stomach turn. I couldn’t believe that I could attack such a close friend as Micos. He had done so much for the tribe, I didn’t know what to do to straighten it all out. I just hoped he would believe me when I explained what had happened, or if he forgot all that the peuchen had done with my body.
His eyes flickered open and once he saw it was me, he started to scream.
“Get away from me! You demon! You are a peuchen in disguise! Get away!” he began to kick and scream.
I felt hurt that he could yell such things to me, but understood what he had just witnessed me doing. I had really hoped that he would have forgotten. “No, it’s okay. It’s me now. That creature can no longer attack you. I can control it.”
“Liar! If you are dealing with the darkness then you are not a machi. You are a kalku!”
It felt as if someone had stabbed me through the heart. I couldn’t believe it. After all the years I had led them, all the times I had healed them, and helped them, that he could call me such a thing. Even after I sacrificed myself to help them, this was how they repaid me. By calling me a kalku, a dark witch.
I let go of Micos, knowing it was the only thing I could do without hurting him, and he ran off towards the tribe, screaming kalku aloud so that the other tribes people were given proper warning of the danger I posed. I didn’t know what to do now, I didn’t know how I could save my tribe with them no longer trusting me. Could I win them back over? Did they deserve it after calling me such things when I was only trying to help?
“I see that you defeated our leader. I am very surprised, although if anyone could do it, I knew it was you.”
I spun around to find the creature from the night before leaning against the tree. His face was still as grotesque, matted fur covered in blood. His ears were large, like a bat’s, and his wings were spread out at least two men in length.
“What do you want? Haven’t you done enough?” I yelled at it. I was beyond furious, now that one of my closest friends saw me as a monster.
The peuchen shrugged. “Seems you are at a loss. I came to tell you my fellow peuchen are here at your command.”
I didn’t understand what it was saying. At my command? How could this be? “What?”
“You defeated our leader, but you are still a peuchen. You can shape shift into anything you want now.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They wanted me to defeat their leader? “Then this whole time, you were really looking for someone who could defeat your leader? Why?”
“Because, before he died, he used me as a vessel and I had to do everything he commanded. So I searched for someone whose will could destroy him. He was a nasty leader, not caring what happened to the rest of the clan. Now that you defeated him, you may lead us to a new world.”
I shook my head—that was all I needed, a new tribe to lead when my own was going to be failed by me. “I don’t want to be your leader. All I want is for my own tribe to be safe.”
“Which you can do as our leader. You can easily watch over them and make sure they are safe.”
That was the promise I was given in the beginning. For some reason, I didn’t believe it now. “But they would never take my help. You saw what happened. They called me a dark witch, even after all the help I had given them over the years.”
The peuchen shrugged. “Sometimes one’s people may not agree with you like you think they would. Then, when the time comes, they will betray you.”
“Just like you did to your leader?” I asked, knowing full well what they had done.
It shrugged again. “Perhaps. It depends how much faith you have in them. We could go see what they are doing right now, see if they truly have betrayed you.”
Although I wanted to see my people again, I knew it would be a mistake. “How? If I come anywhere near them, they might attack.”
The creature held out his hand. “Why, by shape shifting of course.”
The peuchen showed me how to shape shift into any creature. It wasn’t that difficult, all I had to do was will it to be and my body would turn into the form I wanted it to turn into. We both turned into foxes, and I couldn’t believe how clear I could see in the night. It was an experience I couldn’t even begin to fathom, as I ran through the forest as a fox. My senses were heightened, I could hear every sound in the forest, smell every scent, see basically everything there was to see in the woods. It was strange, yet exciting to be able to turn into such a creature, to walk as they do, to finally understand what it means to be fully apart of nature.
I felt so alive for once in my life. I had always thought communicating with spirits had made me feel alive, but this was so much beyond that. With this, I felt I could connect with nature, with the spirit of the world around me. I felt I could finally understand what it was like to live with the wilderness, to be a part of it. My understanding of evil started to become hazy. I had thought it was easy to understand what was evil, but if evil could feel like this, was it really that bad? I mean, we hunted animals such as deer, killing them so that we could survive. Was it really that much different for a peuchen to kill us to survive.
I couldn’t believe I was thinking of such things—that a peuchen was innocent. It had slaughtered so many over the years, not caring who or what it killed. Sometimes, I had heard that it didn’t even kill to survive, that it really just killed for sport. It didn’t care about life like a human did, so did it even think these things when it changed its appearance? Or did it just think of what it was after and not take in the beauty that surrounded it?
I wondered how such a dark creature could turn into such animals. Did they see the same things that I did? Did they understand the importance each animal was to the world, or did they just use it as a means of finding prey? I didn’t know the answer, and I didn’t know if I wanted to. I would take this moment to appreciate the feeling of being able to think like such a blessed creature like a fox.
We arrived to the tribe to find everyone was now up, wondering why Micos was shouting and calling them all out of their huts. They all appeared groggy, wanting to go back to sleep, and furious that Micos had gathered them all together. I heard some of them ask where I was, but Micos didn’t answer them. He just kept gathering them all together, so that he didn’t have to answer the same questions more than once. I had taught him that, knowing the
importance of speaking to the entire tribe. I watched as they all gathered together to listen to Micos as he spoke of what had happened.
It was strange looking down at them like this, in another creature’s body. I could sense their fear, as I was nowhere in sight. I wondered if they would truly listen to him without my guidance. Would Micos tell them the truth of what had happened, or would he lie and just say I was dead? I breathed in with my fox nose. To be able to smell the tribe like this was odd. I could pinpoint each and every one of them, as if it was easier to sniff them out than to actually look at them with my own two eyes.
Micos stood in front of the crowd and everyone went silent. “Apachita attacked me and my men in the forest. She told us to follow her, that she had important news about the strangers. We thought she needed us to help fight, but we were wrong. She tricked us all, she is not the machi we once thought she was. She is dark, letting creatures like the peuchen guide her. One has taken over her body, she has given herself to them. She is a kalku. She cannot be trusted!”
Everyone gasped and murmured. I felt my anger begin to rise. How could Micos betray me? Why couldn’t he listen when I said everything was fine now? I couldn’t believe that after all this time that he didn’t trust me. I knew his father would have trusted me, just as he did twenty years ago. Was I wrong in allowing him to be the military leader? Was this some kind of plot to take over the tribe and destroy my leadership? If so, Micos would pay dearly for it.
I peered around to see if the tribal members had actually believed in what he was saying. The fact that they didn’t see me around didn’t help the situation. I was always there, giving leadership, and now I was gone. It was probably easy for them to believe in such lies, as they were just like sheep being herded by some kind of stronger animal. They would believe in anything that was told to them, I knew now. How could I have believed in such people, how could I have been given up by such sheep?
Looking for Inti and Killa, I found them in the front. They seemed to be the only ones who didn’t believe what was being said. For that, I was happy, but I wondered how long their disbelief would last without me there to guide them.
“But she helped us all these years,” Killa exclaimed. “She couldn’t have been consulting with the forces of darkness to help with our problems before us. We were all there, she has been communicating with the spirit world.”
Micos shook his head. “It all has been a lie. She has turned dark—just like the peuchen. As the legend says, the peuchen used to be humans like us until one day they gave themselves over to the darkness, to never have rest in the afterlife just so they could gain power on the earth. Apachita has done just that, I saw it with my own eyes as she had attacked us, turning into such a vile creature. We must not believe her. We have to destroy her before she hurts us all.”
How could he say that? I would never intentionally hurt them, not after one slip up, he believed I was evil and that I wanted to hurt them. I had given up my life so that they could live. They should have been thankful that I did this, they should have been praising me. Instead they were looking at me like I was some kind of grotesque creature. I heard the sound of growling and it took me a moment to realize it was me. I had forgotten I had transformed into a fox.
“What do you want to do next?” the peuchen next to me asked. “We are all at your command.”
That was when I noticed at least ten foxes surrounding us. Were they all peuchen? I couldn’t believe so many were in the forest that surrounded my tribe after all these years. How did we not know they were there the entire time? I knew that they could change form, but I never realized the extent of their numbers. In the legends, it had always seemed that there were only one or two. Now I knew that there were really many out there, waiting for their next victim. Now I was one of them.
I let the questions stir in my mind. What did I want to do next? Truthfully, I wanted to rip Micos to shreds with my own teeth, but I knew that so much anger had built up inside of me that I could no longer think straight. I took a deep breath. I knew I should wait and think things over.
“We will wait,” I said as I turned back to the woods. “They will still attack the next night and we will see if they will ask for my help. Then they will realize that what I did was for them and they will ask for my forgiveness.”
The peuchen didn’t say a word as it followed me back into the forest. I didn’t know if it was surprised at my response, thinking instead that I would attack then and there. No, I wouldn’t do such a thing. I would make them ask for my help, beg for it.
And whether or not I would give it to them, I didn’t know.
The time had come and my tribe had begun to ready themselves to attack the strangers. Although they had been preparing under my rule, they seemed to be eager to turn to Micos for guidance. Some questioned as to where I was, but Micos quickly told them that I was in the wilderness, killing others. It was a lie; I had not killed anyone since I gained control over my body. I wouldn’t do such a thing, and they should have believed that.
I watched as Micos took the lead. Did he make everyone scared of me so he could become the leader? Had he always wanted me out of the way so that he could take lead? I didn’t know the answer to that, but I began to worry about some of the other things he could have said behind my back. Was I just paranoid or were they the truth?
Even though I knew it wasn’t true, the more I thought about the circumstances of Micos’ father’s death, the more I wondered if he was behind that as well. Micos could have easily poisoned him, and I would have never even noticed. Why would I have? I trusted everyone in the tribe to do the right thing, but as of now, they didn’t trust me, and it felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart as I looked down at my tribe readying for battle under Micos’ rule.
Killa and Inti were the only ones who had truly disbelieved Micos’ statements against me. In fact, they had searched out into the forest for me, seeing if they could find some kind of trace of me. I stayed away, though, not sure if they could truly handle the truth. I just hoped that they would find it in their hearts eventually to understand why I did what I did.
It was all for the good of the tribe.
I followed them as they went back to camp and helped get ready for the battle that would be happening that night. Each member painted themselves with war paint, readying themselves to attack their enemy in the darkness. Some would say it is unfair to attack at dark, but we were afraid of what could happen if we did not. They had strange weapons that none of us had ever seen before. We couldn’t let them win with such a tactical advantage.
Nightfall came and as they began to sneak through the forest towards the stranger’s camp, the peuchen and I followed behind them, disguised as foxes. I still couldn’t believe all that I could see as a fox, and how such power was given to such evil creatures. It didn’t seem fair. We had worked so hard at being good, following what the spirits asked of us, yet evil things such as these were able to control so much power. How people didn’t understand why I made this decision, I wouldn’t understand.
We hurried forward, straight towards the camp the strangers had near the ocean. I could hear both my tribe and the strangers begin the battle. Loud bangs, as loud as a giant tree crashing down in the forest, sounded again and again. It had to be from the strange weapons that the strangers possessed. I wondered if they too had sold their souls to evil creatures, so they could have such power. I now understood why they would do such a thing.
As we arrived, I found that my tribe was losing, even with their surprise attack against the outsiders. The strangers had weapons that outdid our own, in terms of its technical mastery over our simple weapons. We were no match for them. As I started forward, changing back into my original form, I saw as my people gasped.
“It is true, you are a peuchen,” Killa exclaimed.
“Yes, I am.”
“Why?” Inti asked. “How could you betray what you believe to become such a vile creature?”
“Bec
ause I wanted to help my people. Don’t you see? I gave up my life so that you all could live.”
The strangers kept attacking all those who were around us. Killa looked at me with such worry. “But you attacked Micos and the others, how could you do such a thing?”
“Because the peuchen gained control of my body, but in the end I won. I defeated them. Now all the peuchen are at my command,” I lifted my hand for them to show themselves. All eleven foxes changed into their original form, the bat-like creatures of legend.
I thought my tribe would be happy that I could control such a fowl creature, only to be scared. They still didn’t trust me and cowered in fear from me.
“Do you still fear me?” I asked.
Killa nodded. “This isn’t like you. I never believed you would give up your soul for power.”
“It wasn’t for me, it was for you all. I did this for you!” I screamed.
Other people from my tribe just stared as the strangers began to run away, seeing the strange creatures transform before their bewildered eyes.
“We never asked you to,” Inti asked. “Please, turn back to your normal self. Make this all go away. I want my old mentor back.”
I stared at Killa and Inti. I couldn’t believe they would still turn their back on me, that they would do such a thing. I had given up my mortal life so that they might live, but they still turned their back on me. I shook my head.
“Kill them,” I whispered.
“Them, my leader?”
“Yes. They don’t deserve my help. Kill them all,” I turned my back before I could see the reaction on Killa or Inti’s face, and started towards the woods.
That was hundreds of years ago, and the strangers ended up taking over the land that is now called Chile. More and more kept coming, the land kept drastically changing right before my eyes. There were new tribes, new towns, and new cities. Some ways of life stayed the same, but much has changed over the years.
It would be a lie to say I never regretted what I did, to be roaming the mountains and forests for years to come, and to give the order to destroy my tribe. My friends. My family. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but they had turned their back on me first, and the anger, fear, and power had corrupted my mind. At least, that is what I told myself.