Always and Forever

by Wendy Lindstrom

  And Miss Mitchell would be the one to suffer the consequences of his sorry situation.

  She couldn’t have understood the dire circumstances in which he and John had been living. It was obvious by her clothing and lack of domestic experience that the lady was accustomed to a much more comfortable existence. Now she was tied to Hal and his world of problems. And it was all because of Hal’s moment of weakness at the station. He should have put her back on the train, but had instead sought refuge in her presence and the welcome distraction her beauty and intelligence had provided.

  That truth filled him with shame as he finalized the arrangements for their marriage the next day.

  Chapter Five

  Numb, Nancy stared out the second story window of the Tucker’s home while Mary finished lacing her into what was to be her wedding dress. Martha Fiske had already styled Nancy’s hair and was now downstairs decorating the porch with ribbons and setting out covered food trays for after the ceremony.

  “I hope you don’t mind having us at your wedding,” Mary said. “A lady should be surrounded by friends on her wedding day, wouldn’t you agree, Nancy?”

  Mary had requested that they use each other’s given names since they were sure to become great friends. Nancy hoped that would be true, but she couldn’t speak past the lump of emotion in her throat. Her childhood dreams had been filled with love and adventure. She’d dreamed of marrying a man of her choosing and taking her vows surrounded by family and friends and to be given away by her beloved father. But when she’d found herself promised to a man in love with her sister, Nancy had realized her childhood dreams were just that. Dreams. Her current reality demanded that she cut her family from her life until she was safely married. She could make friends here, and had already begun forging a relationship with Mary Tucker and Martha Fiske, but that didn’t salve the homesickness she felt for her family.

  “Mary, I... I’m so grateful for your kindness and I deeply appreciate your friendship because... well, it will be unbearably lonely living with a man who hates me.”

  Mary turned Nancy to face her. “I can’t believe Hal Grayson hates you. Any tension you feel is likely because he’s grieving his brother’s recent passing. Hal is a good man. Give him a chance. If I thought he harbored ill feelings toward you, I would have brought you home with me and told any nosey townsfolk that you’re my guest and that Mr. Grayson fetched you from the train depot as a favor to me. But whether he realizes it or not, that man needs you as much as you seem to need him. She patted Nancy’s hand. “I know when I see a romance in the making and your attraction to each other is as obvious as the nose on my face.”

  Half of Mary’s words rang true. Nancy couldn’t look at Hal Grayson without flushing from head to toe. She’d always joked with her sister, Elizabeth, that the man she married would be tall, dark, and handsome. Hal Grayson was all of that and more — he was quiet, mysterious, and his touch made her pulse race.

  Releasing a long sigh, Nancy glanced in the mirror and smoothed the front of her gown, trying to calm her breathing. “Mr. Grayson has been trying to get rid of me from the moment he laid eyes on me.”

  “I suspect if he’d really wanted to be rid of you he’d have put you back on that train. Or he would have brought you to my door. Don’t fret, Nancy. You and Hal can create a good, loving marriage. All you need is faith and respect and to trust one another.”

  It would take far more than faith and trust. It would take a mountain of forgiveness. But Nancy kept her fear to herself as Mary inspected her handiwork.

  “Simply perfect.” Mary clasped her hands in front of her chest, a warm smile on her face. “You are a beautiful bride. Where did you find such a divine dress?”

  Shame flowed through Nancy as she thought about all that had gone into the making of her dress. The concoction of spring green muslin sported exaggerated puffed upper sleeves that tapered tight along her forearms. The skirt, sleeves, and neckline were trimmed with expensive white satin. As the dress was being made her mother had fussed over every detail, especially over the gathered bodice decorated with white lace. Her father had paid an exorbitant amount for the gown believing that Nancy would wear it when he presented his twin daughters at their coming-of-age birthday ball and announced their engagements to the wealthy young men he’d hand selected for them. He’d chosen Stuart Newmaine as her suitor and future husband. When her father refused to consider an alternate suitor for Nancy, which would at least give Elizabeth a chance at happiness, Nancy knew she needed to come up with another plan. And that’s when she found and replied to the advertisement for John Grayson’s mail order bride.

  Nancy planned to wear her new dress when taking her vows with John Radford Grayson. Instead, she would wear her special dress to take her vows with another man... an angry man who did not want to marry her. She’d seen the tempest brewing in Hal Grayson’s eyes. He would never forgive her for forcing him into a marriage he didn’t want. And if he didn’t already hate her, he would when he learned the truth about her.

  She hadn’t meant for him to become involved in her arrangement with his brother John Radford. But when she’d found herself stranded at the train station with no other acceptable option, she had grabbed hold of Hal Grayson like he was a buoy in a storm.

  Now he was the storm.

  Mary had suggested to Nancy that the orchard would make a wonderfully romantic setting for a wedding. The trees were dropping their pink blossoms and creating a carpet of petals upon the grass. The babbling creek flowed beneath a pretty wooden bridge providing the perfect musical accompaniment for their vows. Under normal circumstances Nancy couldn’t think of anything more beautiful or romantic than to speak words of love and exchange vows in the midst of nature. But knowing the man awaiting her didn’t love her, and might even hate her, tied Nancy’s stomach in knots as she waited for the ceremony to begin.

  Just before noon, William Tucker escorted his wife, Mary, into the apple orchard where Tom and Martha Fiske waited with Judge Barker—and Hal Grayson.

  Watching from the Tucker’s wide porch, Nancy’s stomach swam with nerves while she waited for William to return for her. She could well imagine Hal Grayson’s expression and was in no hurry to see her betrothed. She directed her gaze to the pink and blue ribbons that Martha had tied around the white porch columns. They fluttered cheerfully and danced around the posts.

  Nancy touched her fingers to the back of her head and felt the slack braid Martha had woven and pinned into a loose chignon. Martha had threaded a beautiful green ribbon, perfectly matching Nancy’s dress, through her stylish braid. Long spaniel curls framed her face and bounced at her collar bones. The curls gave Nancy a carefree grace she needed but didn’t feel.

  William Tucker approached the porch with a jaunty swagger and wide grin. He was a shorter and stockier than Hal, and possessed boyish good looks and an ever-present playful sense of humor. “Are you ready, Miss Nancy?” he asked familiarly as if she were family already. He bounded up the porch steps with a lightness of heart she envied.

  She wasn’t at all ready for what awaited her, but it was a walk she knew she must take. “Yes, William, and thank you for...” She compressed her lips and inhaled a shaky breath as she struggled to suppress her emotions. She must get hold of herself. What’s done is done, she told herself, as her father’s words sang in her mind. “I deeply appreciate your friendship and... all of this.” She gestured to the festive porch and outward to the glorious apple orchard awaiting them.

  William winked and gave Nancy’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Have faith in Hal Grayson. He’s a good man and he’ll make a wonderful husband. I’m sure of it.”

  Nancy nodded, hoping William was right. Hal Grayson seemed to be a decent, hardworking man. But after witnessing the closed expression on his face when he left the house last night she knew he was not at all pleased to be saddled with a wife.

  Nancy gripped William’s arm as he walked her across the orchard to where Judge Barker and her fu
ture husband awaited her. Her legs trembled, but she knew it could be a worse situation. It could be Stuart Newmaine waiting for her. At least Hal Grayson wasn’t in love with her sister. That was one thing to be thankful for.

  But he hadn’t wanted a bride. That reality stopped her cold. “Oh, dear...”

  William glanced down and squeezed her forearm firmly against his side as if encouraging her to keep her chin up and keep walking.

  But she didn’t want to keep walking. She wanted to give Hal a chance to walk away if he so desired.

  “Come. Your fiancé is waiting,” William said, gently nudging her onward.

  When they arrived at the bridge where she and Hal would take their vows, Nancy steeled herself for the task ahead. What’s done is done and she must follow through with as much grace and humility as she could muster.

  “Who gives this lovely lady’s hand in marriage?” Judge Barker asked, a warm smile on his face.

  “I, William Tucker, give this beautiful young lady into Hal Grayson’s safekeeping,” he said, his voice holding a certainty and joy that Nancy couldn’t feel. As he transferred her hand to Hal’s waiting palm, William added a piece of advice for Hal, “Take good care of this young lady.”

  Nancy glanced at Hal, expecting him to be cold and curt as he accepted her hand. She expected to see his jaw clamped in anger and his eyes filled with disdain. But he greeted her with a slight smile as if he’d been joyfully anticipating their vows and sharing their lives together.

  As he drew her to his side he leaned down and spoke softly to her. “You are a beautiful bride,” he said, his manly voice resonating in her ear and the warmth of his breath raising gooseflesh on her neck.

  His comment stunned her and left her reeling and... speechless as they stared at each other.

  “Shall we make this official?” Judge Barker said with a delighted laugh.

  Chuckles surrounded them as Hal turned Nancy to face the Judge.

  “We’re ready, your honor,” Hal said.

  And so they stood before Judge Barker while he spoke of love and what it takes to make a fine, lasting marriage. Nancy looked up at the tall, handsome man standing solidly beside her and wondered if his kindness was real, if he might learn to forgive her and perhaps even one day come to love her.

  Hal spoke his vows as if he meant them. Nancy spoke hers as an apology.

  When Judge Barker announced they were married, Hal lifted her chin, looked into her eyes, and placed a brief and tender kiss upon her lips.

  For the second time that day, Nancy was speechless. Her stomach twirled and she felt unbalanced. As she struggled to remain upright, she gripped her husband’s forearms and their gazes locked.

  The laughter of their guests snapped her out of her dazed preoccupation with her husband’s handsome face. With her cheeks burning, she turned to their guests, her new friends, and accepted their hugs and best wishes.

  Hal stayed at his bride’s side throughout the afternoon. Despite being forced into this unplanned marriage with a girl far younger than she’d admitted, Hal found himself enjoying the day. Nancy seemed less at ease and he wondered if her anxiety was from anticipation of the wedding night or because she was hiding something from him. Nancy Mitchell — Grayson now — was a mystery that he intended to solve. Hal hadn’t planned on being married and now that he had taken vows, he found himself confused how to proceed with Miss Mitchell.

  Grayson.

  Gah!

  The woman had his thoughts in a spin.

  So he sat back and watched his new bride talking with Mary and Martha, listening intently as the women explained how to make their favorite bread or a properly thickened stew.

  “Do you fry the beef before putting it into the stew pot?” Nancy asked, her dark auburn brows pinched with concentration.

  As Mary answered, Hal could fairly see Nancy making notes in her head as if recording and storing recipes in a ledger in her mind. She was incredibly intelligent.

  And magnificently beautiful.

  And she was his bride.

  Unimaginable.

  William Tucker thumped Hal on the knee to get his attention. “Tom was telling me that the two of you are discussing the idea of letting Thomas Drake lease your sawmill for a spell. Now that you’re trying to run it without... alone that is, leasing it to Drake might yield the highest profit for you. It can’t be easy trying to run that old girl alone.”

  “She’s temperamental and doesn’t make it easy on me, I’ll give her that,” Hal said, “but I plan to continue on myself if at all possible.”

  William arched one eyebrow, but merely nodded. Tom Fiske, on the other hand, leaned forward in his chair and braced his elbows on his knees, his gaze fixed on Hal. “I understand the desire to build your own mill business, Hal, but it would only be a year lease and it could bring you a tidy profit without breaking your back all day long. Why not think about it a while?”

  “I appreciate your insight, Tom, but I just can’t commit to something that wasn’t part of the plan John Radford and I came up with. Our plan was to build our own mill business and I still aim to do that.”

  Tom and William exchanged a glance. Though they didn’t speak, Hal knew they were thinking he was being foolish. But what they didn’t understand is that Hal couldn’t give up on his brother. He couldn’t quit because the work was too hard. He wouldn’t commandeer John’s dream for his own profit. He’d promised to see the plan through and that’s exactly what he would do. For John. He owed his brother that much.

  Hal sighed, extended his legs and crossed them at the ankles. Despite the reason for whiling away the afternoon with his neighbors, he was glad of the break. His body ached and it felt good to sit and relax a spell. His mind nagged that he should be working, but for once he was able to appease that voice with a valid excuse. It was his wedding day. Hal was among friends and feeling a sense of community he hadn’t felt in a long time. And he was enjoying watching his new bride interact with the ladies while he talked business with two men he greatly respected.

  Each time his gaze strayed to Nancy, which was every few seconds, Hal noticed a new detail, the soft curve of her cheek, the pretty angle of her jaw, the alluring dip where her neck and collarbone met. Although almost imperceptible, her bottom lip tugged down and slightly left when she laughed. He wasn’t sure why noting something so minute about her made him feel as if he knew one of her secrets, but it did. Suddenly, he realized that it was this sort of thing that had entranced him at the station and so thoroughly captivated him that he’d forgotten everything else. It wasn’t just Nancy’s obvious beauty. She was truly stunning, but it was her shifting expressions, the flash of her eyes, the quirk of her pretty lips, the dimpling of her cheeks, the intricacies of her conversation and her plea for help that had snared his attention and reeled him in hard.

  Intrigued by his own discovery, Hal struggled to follow the conversation Tom and William were having about the livery and a wagon William was repairing.

  They dined on roasted turkey and stewed vegetables and hot bread that Mary and Martha had prepared for their celebration. Hal made a note to return the kindness that his neighbors were lavishing upon him and his bride. Late in the day, they sat on the wide porch and nibbled pies and sweets. Nancy ate sparingly and tended to do more listening than talking, but as time passed and the Fiskes and Tuckers shared some of their funny stories about the early days of their marriage, Nancy began to open up and speak more freely. When she grudgingly admitted to smoking them out of the house two days earlier, Hal found himself laughing with the rest of them. At the time the incident hadn’t been funny, but hearing Nancy retell the story brought a level of humor to the event he’d been able to appreciate until today.

  The ladies talked about their mishaps in the kitchen and some of their favorite meals, and Hal silently hoped that Nancy could learn how to make some of those meals.

  He and William and Tom discussed how Hal might manage the mill without John Radford. Unable to b
ear the conversation that included such a painful reminder of John’s death, Hal got to his feet. “I appreciate the advice, but this is all business for another day, gentlemen. It’s time to take my bride home.” With that he extended his hand to Nancy. “Shall we?”

  The smile slid off her face and she glanced to her lady friends as if to seek their assistance. Mary smiled and gave a small nod as if to assure Nancy that all would be well.

  Nancy placed her hand in Hal’s and stood.

  He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. “Thank you all for your generosity and for giving us such a memorable day.”

  “Y-yes, thank you so very much for... everything,” Nancy said, standing beside him, her trembling hand revealing the acute level of her anxiety.

  Was she afraid of him? Or was she simply anticipating their wedding night? Hal grasped her hand firmly as much to convince himself as it was to assure his bride that all would be well.

  Nancy expected Hal to march her across the orchard and rush her home where he could privately berate her for locking them into marriage.

  But he lingered on the bridge where they had both committed their futures to each other. As he braced his elbows on the railing and stared into the water rushing beneath the oak deck planks, she wondered if his promises had been empty. Had he given any thought to what they might make of a marriage together? Or had he simply accepted their marriage as a duty or penance for making the poor decision of bringing her home with him?

  Her own promises had been given with hope for their future and apology for their present. None of their words were given in love or joy. That knowledge burdened her heart, weighing her down as she stood beside a man she barely knew.