Always and Forever

by Wendy Lindstrom

  His sincerity melted her, and she gave him a soft smile. “You may change your mind after nearly two weeks of trying to keep up with the children. Let’s go to the parlor and visit,” she said, nodding for Dawson to precede her out of the kitchen.

  In the parlor, she placed the tray on the low parlor table, and then sat on the sofa opposite Dawson, who’d settled himself in a comfy wingback chair. “When do Adam and Rebecca plan to come over?” she asked as she poured their tea.

  “They said they’d be along soon.” Dawson helped himself to another cookie and thanked her for the tea. “They’re visiting with Radford and Evelyn a bit longer. Rebecca is quite enjoying her siblings. She was snuggling Emma and Sarah and talking with Hannah and Tyler about gathering items for the Sleigh of Hope. Will and Josh came barreling inside while I was on my way out.” Dawson grinned. “There’s a couple of strapping young men. I’m sure Radford appreciates their help at the livery and the sawmill. Radford and Evelyn have wonderful children, and I’m glad for this opportunity to get to know them better.”

  Radford and Dawson had met in Crane Landing while Nancy and Rebecca were staying there during Rebecca’s recovery from her accident. While they all relaxed on the back porch of the cottage during the two days that Radford had stayed with them, Dawson and Radford had settled into an easy friendship. And that made Nancy secretly imagine what her life might be like having a companion like Dawson, relaxing with her and her family each evening. And the deeper her friendship with Dawson grew, the more she considered it a real possibility. Until she’d returned to Fredonia and her real life.

  To avoid meeting Dawson’s eyes, Nancy added a lump of sugar to her tea, something she rarely did. “We’ve all missed Rebecca and Adam and are thrilled to have them home. I know it’s only been three months since their wedding here in Fredonia, but it seems an age since we’ve seen them.” Nancy met Dawson’s eyes “We had all hoped that Adam and Rebecca would make their home here in Fredonia. But they love Southern Maine and I suspect that will keep them in Crane Landing permanently.”

  “I hope you’re considering coming to Crane Landing as well, Nancy.”

  She froze with her cup halfway to her mouth. She had hoped they could enjoy a cup of tea and a few minutes of conversation before he pressed her for an answer that she couldn’t give him.

  “I’m… well, of course I plan to visit again. Most likely when Duke and Faith make a trip out after the New Year.”

  His dark eyebrows lowered, and he studied her with quizzical eyes.

  Before he could say anything that would lead to more discomfort, Nancy asked, “Would you like your tea freshened? I’m sure you’re weary from the trip and that you’re still chilled from your walk across the orchard. Shall I show you to your room?”

  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to sit right here by the fire and warm up.” He sighed and leaned his head back, his manly hands resting on the cushioned arms of the chair. He crossed his right ankle over his left knee, and Nancy noticed the tip of his big toe peeking out a hole in one of his black stockings.

  The sight made her laugh because Dawson Crane had enough money to not only afford a new pair of stockings but to buy the factory that made them. “It appears your stocking is in need of mending.” She nodded toward his foot.

  Dawson glanced down and grinned. “I suppose I should have put my paintbrush aside and done a little shopping before packing for my visit.” He shrugged and wiggled his toe. “As long as it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

  This side of Dawson is exactly what had captivated Nancy during her three-month stay in Crane Landing. For a wealthy shipbuilder, Dawson Crane had no airs about him. He was a brilliant man who enjoyed picnics and playful conversations and making Nancy blush.

  He looked so comfortable in her parlor that it seemed he’d been occupying that chair for years. But it had been Hal’s chair, and thought seeing Dawson sitting there warmed her heart—it broke at the same time.

  She sipped her tea, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, and then returned her cup to the table. “I’m eager to hear everything that’s been happening in Crane Landing. What is the latest news?”

  “Well, let’s see… Remember that schooner we were building while you were there? We floated her a month ago. Sea Spirit sailed out of the harbor just last week with her sails billowing and her brass bell ringing.” He gazed at the fire and shook his head. “I wish you’d have been there, Nancy. It was magnificent.”

  “Oh… I do wish I’d been able to be there to see that,” Nancy said wistfully. More and more she was finding that she wished to be in two places at once. The truth was, she felt pulled between her family in Fredonia and her growing feelings for Dawson, who lived in Southern Maine.

  “Perhaps you’ll be there to watch the next launch.”

  “Perhaps,” she said, unsure how to respond. “How was the apple crop this year?” she asked, groping for a change of subject.

  “The orchard near Adam and Rebecca’s house was plentiful, but the one closer to the marsh didn’t produce as well. Overall, though, we had a good crop.”

  “That little orchard you just walked through gave us more apples than we could put up,” she said. “Radford and Evelyn invited several neighbors to help themselves, which saved a good many apples from rotting on the ground. I have several bushels stored in my root cellar, and I put up so many jars of applesauce that I could feed my family until next fall.”

  Dawson laughed. “I’ll help deplete your store of applesauce while I’m here.”

  “Help yourself to whatever you like, Dawson. I want you to be comfortable here.” She reached for her tea and took a soothing sip. “Did you know that Fredonia will be lighting the electric lights on Monday evening? It’s been a dreadful mess in town while they installed the power lines.”

  “That’s the cost of progress. I’m eager to see those lights turned on.”

  “Me, too, although it will be sad to see our gas lamps replaced.”

  “Things change, darling. It’s inevitable.” Dawson placed his cup on the table and moved to sit beside her on the sofa. He slipped his warm hand over hers. “I’d like to talk about some other changes, Nancy. There’s a question hanging between us that I’m eager for you to answer. Have you thought about my proposal? I’ve been waiting weeks to hear from you. You haven’t mentioned it in a single letter, and so I’m wondering if you’ve forgotten that I asked you to marry me,” he said, ending with a wink.

  Nancy’s heart hammered in her chest. “It’s all I can think about.” She sighed and met his eyes. “Dawson, I… I just—” A loud stomping on the front steps startled her, and she pulled her hand away. “I believe Adam and Rebecca are here,” she said, leaping to her feet. She gave Dawson a wobbly smile. “We’ll talk about this before you leave.”

  Before he could comment, the door swung open and Rebecca rushed inside with Adam right behind her. Nancy met them in the foyer where Rebecca and Adam wrapped her in a double hug.

  “Grandma, I’m so happy to see you!” Rebecca declared.

  Adam planted a loud kiss on her cheek. “Crane Landing just isn’t the same without you there, Grandma.” He released her and turned to Dawson. “I see you’ve already made yourself at home.”

  Dawson laughed and leaned one strong shoulder against the door frame. “It’s hard not to when there’s a warm fire and cookies waiting.”

  “I hope you didn’t eat all of them.” Adam set his valise beside Dawson’s bag. “I plan to eat a dozen or so myself.”

  Nancy laughed. “There are plenty of cookies, Adam,” she said, wondering how men and boys could eat so much and never gain a pound.

  Radford, her eldest son and Rebecca’s father, came inside carrying another large bag, his coat and dark hair covered with snowflakes. When he saw her, his eyes lit up. “Well, don’t you look extra beautiful today, Mother,” he said, giving her a wink and a hug that told her he’d noticed she was wearing one of her nicest dresses and t
hat he knew who she was trying to please. She suspected the whole family knew about Dawson’s interest in her, but she’d been tight-lipped about his proposal and her feelings for him because she couldn’t bear to admit the truth aloud. Thankfully, Radford was merciful and went back outside with Adam to fetch the rest of luggage.

  Nancy swiftly turned the attention to Rebecca. “You are glowing today, sweetheart,” she told her eldest grandchild, taking in Rebecca’s bright eyes and beautiful white smile. Rebecca had been blessed with shiny black hair that fell in soft waves to her waist. She was stylishly dressed in an apple red wool coat edged with black braiding and wooden toggle buttons, and she had topped her upswept hair with a matching wool hat. As Rebecca talked about her reunion with her brothers and sisters, her brown eyes shone with love and life. After months of witnessing Rebecca’s struggles to regain her memory, lost in a tragic accident this past spring, Nancy took great comfort in her granddaughter’s joy and cheerful smile.

  When Adam and Radford brought in the last of their bags, they all spent a few minutes chatting in the foyer before Radford bid them goodnight and headed back home.

  As soon as Adam and Rebecca hung their coats and removed their boots, they headed for the parlor.

  “The tea is still hot and there are cookies, if Dawson hasn’t eaten them all,” Nancy said, trying to lighten the tension between herself and Dawson left from their abbreviated conversation.

  Adam raised his eyebrow. “What kind of cookies, Grandma?”

  “Molasses, of course.”

  Adam grinned and slipped his arm around Rebecca’s waist. “What do you know, sweetheart? Grandma made my favorite cookies.”

  “Don’t be a tease, Adam.” Rebecca laughed and nudged his side. “I like molasses, too, you know.”

  Nothing made Nancy happier than the smile on Adam’s face as he gazed down at his wife. That young man had loved Rebecca since his teens and he’d never given up on their love. Not even when Rebecca couldn’t remember their tender past or passionate plans for the future. No one could have foreseen the accident on the eve of their marriage that had robbed Rebecca of her memory. It had been a long and painful journey back for Adam and Rebecca, but now Nancy’s grandchildren—one biological and one adopted into the family—were standing in her home, married and happier than she’d ever seen them.

  “I made butter cookies, too, Rebecca,” Nancy said, overwhelmed with love for her grandchildren.

  Rebecca pulled a face at Adam. “See, Adam, Grandmother loves me, too.”

  “I love you both to the stars and back,” she said, pulling them into her lonely arms for another quick hug. “Now come visit with me before I have to put supper on.” They sat on the sofa, and as Nancy took the chair opposite Dawson, they all settled into easy conversation.

  Rebecca glanced around the parlor and sighed. “I’ve missed you so much, Grandma. I’ve missed sitting in your parlor and eating your cookies and hearing you play the pianoforte and… well, I’ve missed everything about being home!” she said with a laugh.

  Emotion rose up in Nancy’s chest, making her heart ache. “Oh, honey, you and Adam can’t know how deeply I’ve missed you two. I completely understand why you love Crane Landing, but I sure do miss having you both right here in Fredonia.”

  “I know. It’s difficult feeling torn between two homes, Rebecca said. My family is here in Fredonia, but I see our future in Crane Landing. We’re considering selling our Fredonia house to the current tenants. They’ve expressed a desire to purchase it, but… well, we aren’t ready to commit to anything just yet.”

  Nancy’s chest cramped with dread to think her babies would not be moving back home. “I understand, sweetheart. More than you know.”

  Adam arched an eyebrow. “Are you considering moving to Crane Landing, Grandma?”

  Nancy cursed her foolish tongue and avoided Dawson’s pointed look. “I plan to visit after the New Year, most likely this spring. It’s difficult for me to be away from any of my grandchildren too long, you know. When I’m here, I miss you and Adam terribly. When I’m in Crane Landing visiting you, I miss my family here. So I understand feeling torn.”

  Rebecca nodded. “I’m sure you do, Grandma. But I suspect you’ll find yourself visiting Josh and Colter out west someday. Those boys have taken a fancy to ranching of all things.”

  “Oh, my goodness, don’t make me cry, Rebecca. I can’t even think about having that many miles between me and my babies.”

  “The miles aren’t so great if you like to travel,” Dawson said. “Especially when you can travel in comfort.”

  “I suppose, but I’d still like to keep everyone right here in Fredonia,” Nancy said. “So how are those kittens of yours, Rebecca?” she asked, moving the topic to safer ground.

  Rebecca’s eyes lit up and she talked about her kittens, Jojo and Bella, and how quickly they were growing. She talked about a trip she and Adam had taken to the lighthouse in Crane Landing after their wedding. Hearing about the lighthouse reminded Nancy of her visit there with Dawson and Adam and Rebecca. It was a day Nancy would never forget. It had felt wonderful to walk the shore and feel the ocean spray on her face and the wind in her hair. For the first time in many years, she had felt young and happy and alive. That’s how she’d felt each day that she’d been in Crane Landing with Rebecca. Because she’d seen Dawson nearly every day. And because she wasn’t seeing Hal in every face she encountered or in every place she went.

  When Dawson had come to Fredonia two months ago to see her, she’d been thrilled to see him. She’d even dared to imagine a life with such an exciting man, and had promised to consider his proposal. But the minute he left, she was again alone in her world that she’d built with Hal. To even imagine a life with Dawson felt like a betrayal of everything she had shared with Hal.

  And so she hadn’t answered Dawson. That unanswered question lingered between them now. She owed him an answer – but it was too painful to contemplate either way.

  She couldn’t leave her family.

  She couldn’t betray her promise to Hal.

  But walking away from Dawson’s proposal would mean losing the only man able to wake her lonely heart.

  Chapter Two

  In the kitchen, Nancy and Rebecca worked quickly to put supper on the table while Adam and Dawson shoveled the steps. From the oven, Nancy withdrew a delicious smelling chicken that had been roasting all day. She had added onions and carrots that she had grown in her garden and canned for the winter. She smiled, thinking back to her lack of domestic skills when she’d first come to Fredonia as a teenager. She had thought she would be directing a household staff, which Hal had found humorously entertaining.

  She, the daughter of a wealthy banker, had found the lack of staff shocking, unnerving, and eventually over time, liberating.

  Mary Tucker, Evelyn’s mother, had taught Nancy how to cook and had provided the first plants to help Nancy start her garden. Thankfully, Nancy still had Martha and Tom Fiske in her life, but so many of her friends were gone now. Mary had died in childbirth trying to give William a son. Her death left William shattered and alone with his young daughter, Evelyn, who Nancy helped raise. Then Nancy lost Hal, and her own world shattered. William had stepped in and helped her raise her sons. He’d even gone to war with Radford. And when dear William died, it created another crack in Nancy’s wounded heart. Nancy missed her dear friends, and could surely use Mary’s wise counsel regarding Dawson’s proposal.

  Time was moving so swiftly and life seemed shorter each passing day.

  In some ways, Nancy felt left behind by her departed friends. She was beginning to feel left behind by her growing family, too.

  “Grandma, where’s the flowered bowl for the vegetables?” Rebecca asked, snapping Nancy’s thoughts back to the present.

  “It’s right here in the cabinet, dear.” Nancy raised up on her toes to reach the bowl on the top shelf, and then handed it to Rebecca. “After you fill the bowl, go ahead and set it on th
e table beside the sweet potatoes. I’ll put the chicken on a platter. I have water heating for tea. Are we missing anything?”

  “I’ll start a pot of coffee. I know Adam will want a cup after supper.” Rebecca said.

  The back door to the kitchen opened and a cold wind filled the room as Adam and Dawson stepped inside. They stomped snow off their boots onto a rag rug by the door. Laughing at some private exchange, they shook off the snow that had gathered on their shoulders during the short trip from the barn. They removed their coats and hung them by the door. The neat row of brass hooks beside the back door, six in all—one for each of her boys, a hook for her own coat, and one hook for Hal—had been buried in coats and scarves for years.

  Dawson hung his coat on what had once been Hal’s hook, and Nancy winced.

  Was she already allowing Dawson to replace Hal in her home? In her heart?

  Dawson’s eyes, blue as a summer evening sky, met her own with surprising warmth, reminding her of what they’d shared in Crane Landing. They’d shared wonderful conversations that made Nancy laugh until her sides hurt. He’d challenged her with lively debates about life and interesting topics that expanded her world in ways she’d never imagined. They had taken leisurely walks along the river and enjoyed tea on the porch of his small home. They had lingered over casual lunches and suppers on the back porch of Cecily’s cottage, the small home that Radford had rented for Nancy and Rebecca while Rebecca was receiving treatment from Doctor Samuel. Dawson and Nancy had played croquette on the front lawn and danced at the Independence Day celebration. He had taken her hand in his while watching fireworks fill the harbor sky, and Nancy had felt that same explosive energy lighting up her heart.

  And now, from across the room, Dawson’s eyes promised more of those moments, if she were willing.

  “Something smells delicious,” Adam said, crossing the floor in his stocking feet.