Special Delivery

by Reagan Shaw

  “Save it,” she replied, but with a small smile. “We both know this was a mistake and a one-off thing. It was bound to happen eventually. We’re both young.”

  “Dumb, and full of—”

  She raised a palm. “Please, don’t,” she replied, still with that eerie smile. “My point is, we’re not going to make this more complicated than it has to be. We’re on our own journeys.”

  We were. Yet, the thought of not seeing her again, especially now that she needed help, that she didn’t have a job or any support system, tore up my usually solid outlook on women. I can help her. I know people. “Erika, we should talk about things.”

  “Things?” Her smooth brow wrinkled up, and even that was adorable. “No, Noah. This is the last time we’re going to speak. Granted, we’ll probably run into each other at family functions, now and again, but that’s all there is to this. Think about Marc. This would piss him off, big time.”

  I nodded. She’d made her decision, even if I didn’t agree with it. “All right,” I said. Already a plan had hatched in my mind. Short of rubbing my hands together, I was a fucking mastermind at getting what I wanted, and I wanted her. Again. Not emotionally, but physically.

  Fuck, I couldn’t pin down in exactly what way it was that I wanted her. To protect her? To fuck her? Did I have to make the choice now?

  “It would be simpler if you just left now. We’ll, um, we’ll just be civil for the rest of the wedding reception and then go our separate ways,” Erika continued.

  “Got it,” I said, and winked at her. “Stay golden.”

  She laughed. “Fuck you.”

  Oh, I will.

  Erika

  One month later

  * * *

  “Are you excited?” Luna’s voice was a squeak over the line, and I struggled to make her out as I walked down the street in New York. The sidewalk was wet underfoot, and some sections of it were still covered in patches of ice. My best friend was soft-spoken, albeit ballsy, at the best of times, and that made it near impossible to hear her on the daily commute. “I mean, it’s Woo Hork.”

  “I’m assuming you just said New York,” I replied, loudly. No one around me paid any mind. People didn’t give a shit how loud you spoke or what you wore, as long as you didn’t impede the flow of foot traffic. Even then, they didn’t give that much of a shit.

  They’d sooner trample you than tell you to get the fuck out of the way. Or they’d do both.

  Luna muttered something else totally unintelligible. “One second,” I yelled, juggling the phone and the cup of takeaway coffee I’d picked up from the shop just down the street from my new apartment building.

  I hailed a cab with a practiced whistle and a wave, then got into one and gave them the address for St. Katherine’s. Finally, I placed the phone against my ear again. “Luna, you still there?”

  “I’m here,” she said, cheerily.

  “What were you saying?” I peered out at the decorations in shop windows. Only a couple weeks till Christmas.

  “That you must be super excited. I mean, it’s New York. Chicago’s great and everything, but this is…”

  “The Big Apple,” I finished, and laughed. “I know. And I’m super nervous, but I can’t tell you how relieved I am to be working again. This position at St. Katherine’s is a godsend, Luna, especially at this time of year. You know, I really thought I’d be sleeping on my parents’ sofa for Christmas. I can’t thank you enough for helping me out with an apartment.” I’d echoed this sentiment many times, but it really had felt like a miracle.

  I’d been out of hope, out of luck, after my brother’s wedding, and then this interview had practically fallen into my lap. One month later, I had an apartment, a job to go to, an opportunity in the city that never sleeps.

  And patients. I’d be delivering babies again, soon. Bringing life into the world, to replace the void inside me. Don’t think about that. Don’t think about Jason. “Anyway, I’m happy,” I said. “And nervous.”

  “Don’t be nervous,” Luna said. “You’re going to kill it!”

  “I’m not sure that’s an appropriate thing to say given my line of work,” I chuckled again. Nothing could get me down today.

  “Oh my.” Luna laughed. “Sorry. I didn’t think of that.”

  “Casual references to infanticide aside,” I replied, “I guess I just want to make a good impression. This isn’t what I’m used to. I was in a smaller practice before, and this is a hospital. I haven’t worked in one since I was a resident.” This was different, of course. For once, I wouldn’t be merely consulting at the hospital. I’d been hired by the medical staff office. Which meant I had a contract. Which meant things were a little different for me. I’d be acting as a senior consultant too. For once, I wasn’t working as an independent contractor, and it made today all the more important to me.

  “You’re going to do great. Look, girl, what can I say, you’re kick-ass. You’ve beaten down every challenge you’ve faced. Every single one.”

  I could think of a few I hadn’t conquered yet. “Thanks, hon,” I said and peered out of the window as we pulled up to the visitors’ side of the hospital. “I’m here, though. I’ve got to go.”

  “Kiss, kiss, and kick some ass. Um, not baby butt. You know what I mean.”

  “Double kiss, bye.” I hung up, paid the cabbie, and emerged from the taxi, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. I had to calm down. Gosh, this wasn’t my first job. I was qualified for this, I was good with mommies-to-be, and I loved every part of childbirth.

  Every delivery I’d made had been a memory that was ingrained, not into my brain, but my soul. It was a snapshot in time. Those kids would grow up and have children of their own, and I’d helped bring them in. I’d witnessed that moment.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and made my way past the security box and into the parking lot. Finally, I entered the hospital and made my way to reception, smiling at the woman behind the desk.

  My first appointment was in half an hour, and I had no time to waste. Even less time to get settled into the office I’d been given two days ago. I’d come through yesterday to put my personal touch on it, and orient myself again, but still… I’d vastly underestimated the NYC traffic.

  I rushed for the elevator, hit the button, and waited, checking my watch and sipping coffee, alternating between the two, and nearly sipping my watch instead of the cup. The doors opened and I bustled inside. Arms grabbed me and held me in place. “Easy there,” a voice rumbled. “You nearly walked right into me.”

  I lifted my head from my watch and stared. My heart leaped into my throat.

  “What the—what?”

  Noah grinned down at me, and it was a punch to the gut. I hadn’t seen him since that night. Hadn’t heard from him. Nothing. And here he was. He leaned past me and hit the button. “I believe the phrase is, what the fuck.”

  “That’s not appropriate.”

  “I seldom am,” he replied. “Maternity is on the third floor. That’s where you’re headed, right?”

  “How did you—wait a second. Wait one hot second,” I said, flailing to grasp the situation. I swished my coffee cup to one side, and brown liquid surged out of it and hit the elevator’s wall. “What are you doing here, Noah?”

  He grinned at me. “I think the more appropriate question is, what are you doing here?” He studied me from head to toe, taking in my white coat. “I’m guessing it’s not because you’re expecting?”

  I blinked at him. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

  “I—Noah! Do you work here?”

  “A shrewd observation,” he said, with that wolfish smile. “I do indeed work here. In fact, I’ve just finished an appointment with a patient.”

  I glugged on cool air, and my eyes bugged the hell out. This couldn’t be happening. This could not be real. The man I’d thought I wouldn’t talk to again, was now…working with me? Thank god he wasn’t the department chair or something. I’d hav
e to resign. He was just a colleague.

  “Are you independent?” Noah asked, continuing this weird-ass conversation like it was the most natural thing in the world.

  “No,” I said. I still hadn’t moved, and the elevator doors slid open behind me.

  “Well, this is your stop.”

  “Thanks,” I managed. I had to keep the cool veneer of professionalism up, or I’d wind up angry at him for being here. For existing, for everything. Had he done anything wrong? Not technically, but I was still pissed.

  The perfect job for me had finally fallen into my lap, and now I had to deal with this. With him being there. Damn, I’d figured it was too good to be true.

  “Uh, Erika?” Noah gestured to maternity, the cool halls and the nurses’ station nearby.

  “Right,” I said. “Right.” I stepped out and hoofed it across the floor, heading for the small corner office I’d taken. I had to gather my thoughts before the first consultation, and that would likely be impossible now that Noah fucking Cox was my colleague.

  Images of us together, our bodies twisting, his cock buried deep within me, screamed back to the present. Oh god, oh god, oh gawd, oh damn, oh god. Stop! I entered my office, turned, made to shut the door, and closed it on Noah’s foot.

  “Jesus!” He yelped, drawing a couple glances from the nurses who bustled up and down the halls. “You tryna break my foot, Gray? Because we’re in the wrong department for that.”

  I shushed him furiously, and he entered without me asking. “What are you doing, Noah?” I asked. “You know I don’t have time for this. I have a consultation in about half an hour.” My first patient in New York, and one who was only just pregnant. I anticipated seeing this all the way through, from the first throes of morning sickness to labor, both of which I’d never experience myself.

  I shut down that line of thought hard and fast.

  “Call it a welcome wagon,” Noah said. “I wanted to introduce myself as your colleague. Dr. Noah Cox, at your service. We’re two of four ob-gyns in this hospital. You’re the only one who’s not independent.”

  “Right,” I said. “Thanks for that.” I flicked my fingers toward the door, praying he’d take the hint.

  Noah didn’t budge. “And the other two are Dr. Schulz and Dr. Prentice. You’ll meet them soon enough. They’re both heavily experienced. If you ever need anything, you can come to any of us, and we’ll help you out. In fact, if you need help getting oriented in the hospital or the department, just let me know.”

  “I’m fine, thank you.” I flicked my fingers again. It was rude, but fuck it, how long had Noah and I hated each other? How long had he played games with me? One hot night wouldn’t change my opinion of him, even if it did make it that much more difficult to focus on the bad rather than the searingly hot and good about him. “If you’ll excuse me…”

  He folded his arms and stared me down. “Erika, don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. We work together now. We’re going to have to keep it professional.”

  “In case you hadn’t noticed, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.”

  “Are you? Because the look on your face tells me otherwise.”

  The look on my face? God, he looked like a hungry lion, and I was the gazelle. Antelope? Whatever. I was the prey. I wouldn’t have any of this. “OK, that’s enough,” I said, and put my palm out. “We’re going to keep things professional here. I’ll admit that you were the last person I expected to see in this hospital, but I have to make it amply clear right now. I’m focused on work and nothing else.” I’d learned my lesson about putting men or relationships ahead of my career. I’d felt the bite, the sting, whatever it was called. “I’m not going to sleep with you again.”

  Noah chuckled. “That so?”

  “That’s not a challenge, Noah. Don’t make me dislike you any more than I already do.”

  “Dislike, huh?” Another cocky retort. Ugh. “That’s one step down from hate. Guess we’re not mortal enemies anymore?”

  “Noah,” I sighed.

  “Fine,” he said, and put out a hand. “Shake on it. Just colleagues. Nothing else. I look forward to working with you, Dr. Gray.”

  I nodded and took his hand. He tugged me closer, and I fell into his chest, right into his arms. I inhaled that woodsy, smoky cologne and caught myself in another fantasy. Noah speared me with those deep, chocolate eyes, then lowered his lips to my ear, brushing hot breath across my cheek and lobe. “It’s going to be a pleasure working with you. Side by side.” Finally, he let go and stepped back.

  I wavered on the spot but clutched onto my disposition like Rose to that door in Titanic.

  “Stay golden,” he said, and stepped out of my office. The door clicked shut behind him and I sagged.

  “God, give me strength,” I whispered. “I hate that man.” No, you don’t. You definitely don’t. “Infuriating.” I reinforced the thought. “Pigheaded.” But no amount of adjectives would banish the butterflies fluttering away in my stomach.

  I’d need a stiff drink after today.

  Noah

  Blitzers was the watering hole of choice for the doctors of St. Katherine, or at least, the ones I was friends with. Drs. Settler and Tombs, Greg and Barry, were two world-class surgeons—cardiac and neuro, respectively—and they barely had any time off.

  Thankfully, tonight coincided for all three of us. It was a lucky shot out of the blue, the four-leafed clover, the one-in-a-million night to hang out with two friends who understood what it was like to work strange hours and long nights. Both would be working over Christmas.

  The cherry on top would’ve been if Marc could’ve joined us, but fuck it, he had a honeymoon to enjoy.

  “What’s up with you tonight, Noah?” Greg asked, running a hand over his close-cut blond hair. “You’re nowhere. Not here, not there, but staring into space.”

  The guys were used to me energized, buying drinks, wooing women—not to take them home, but just for the fuck of it. I wasn’t the guy I’d been in high school. I preferred solitude, and if I broke it, even for a one-night stand, the women had to be phenomenal in every measure.

  I could think of one in recent memory who applied.

  “Seriously,” Greg said, and clicked his fingers at me.

  I shrugged. “I dunno, man, tough week at work.” I avoided his eye and scanned the bar instead, the dimly lit corners, the low thump of music. There were people on the tiny wooden dance floor, a DJ in the booth, thumping out classic rock tunes, and bar tables and booths scattered around the space. Two glass doors led out onto the relatively empty patio and the tables there. The smokers’ section.

  Barry was out there, flirting with a brunette, working his angles in the half-light. That motherfucker was ugly as sin, but his personality pulled women like a flame pulled moths. Fortunately, he didn’t send them to the ground with smoking wings. He actually did relationships.

  “I’m bored tonight,” I said. “Restless.” I lifted the can of Bud to my lips and glugged some of it back.

  “Try a margarita,” Greg replied and tapped the side of his glass. He was the one who bought the fruity drinks and didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. He was too big to be bothered, in all honesty, and he didn’t suffer fools lightly. “It’ll change your fucking life, my man.”

  “I’d rather have an embolism.”

  “Careful what you wish for.”

  Once again, the conversation lulled, as a Beatles song came through the speakers. People rocked out, whipping out all the old moves as the dance lights flashed. I shook my head at them.

  Fuck, I was dissatisfied. I’d expected this morning to go better than it had. Seeing her in the hospital had made it real to me—this need for her. This desire to claim her again.

  It had obsessed me for so long I’d finally let it take control. If I couldn’t have her, at least I could be around her. Gravitate in the same circles. In a way, it was a test. A test to see how well I could handle being close to her without cavin
g in to my baser needs. Or in to those emotions I’d kept tucked away for years.

  Except this was more difficult than I’d anticipated.

  And she fucking hated me. Even a good fuck session hadn’t taken it out of her. I wrinkled my nose and pinched the bridge of it. “Fuck it,” I said, and shoved the barstool back. “I’m out, man. Done for the night.”

  “You sure?” Greg asked, and slurped on his margarita. “Probably won’t get to do this again for a while.”

  “Shit, I know, but I’ve got some stuff to work out. Personally. I’ll catch you around, Greg. You, uh, tell Barry to wrap the tool for me, all right?”

  “That’s objectionable on every level,” Greg replied, with another sip. “And I totally get why you said it.” He nodded toward Barry, who was already making out with his woman for the evening. Or the week. Maybe the month. The year? I never could tell with Barry.

  “See ya,” I said and slapped down a couple bills on the bar top. I made for the exit, moving past tables, past folks headed for the bar, all dressed in their Friday best. It was early, and people were just heading out for the night.

  Fuck, I was probably too old for this shit anyway.

  I squeezed past another group of giggling women and into the bar’s entrance room, which held a couple tables of its own. I stopped dead and stared.

  In the corner, right between a petite redhead and a potted plant, sat Erika. She wore a strappy top, and her hair was down around her shoulders. Hardly any makeup, and she talked animatedly with her friend, who paid rapt attention.

  Neither of them had noticed me.

  I walked closer, drawn to her, even now. I halted beside their table.

  “…just saying that it drives me crazy,” Erika said. “He’s so annoying.”

  “Anyone I know?” I asked.

  Both women jumped. The redhead let out a little squeak and went round-eyed.

  “Noah,” Erika said, and gripped her drink. A vodka cranberry by the looks of it. “What are you doing here?”