My Secret Submission

by J. M. Witt

  Chapter Thirty

  MY FAVOURITE FADED FANTASY

  JARED SHOWED US AROUND NOLA and filled us with more food than I’d ever admit to eating. We got home shortly after dinner time and when Jared asked if we were hungry, Tami and I both groaned.

  “Please, God. No more food.”

  “Ditto. Coffee would be good though.”

  I seconded Tami’s request. “Yes! Coffee please or I’m going to pass out from a food coma.”

  “Done. I’ll put a pot on.”

  Tami was in a better mood and there’d been no mention of Sam. Deciding to watch a movie, Jared put on Interview with a Vampire. Tami was curled up on one end, with Jared on the other end on the chaise. I sat in the middle and held my cup of coffee in my lap. It’d been so long since I’d seen the movie that I became enthralled with it.

  I’d sent Gregor a picture of Tami and me standing in front of a bakery in NOLA. He’d responded simply with ‘It’s beautiful there’. He also said that he hoped I was thoroughly enjoying myself. He hadn’t inquired anymore about Jared, but I’d told Gregor that Jared was going to help me with my homework. I had to believe that had he not liked that idea, he would’ve said so.

  Half way through the movie, I glanced over and found Tami asleep. Moving my eyes to the other end of the couch, Jared’s eyes were already on me. Lifting his hands, he moved them as if he was already giving me a massage. Patting the space in front of him, I took the invitation and sat down after placing my empty cup on the coffee table.

  Softly, he leaned in and said, “Heather gave me a thumbs up.” A chill ran up my back and he caught it. “Is that a shiver of approval or...?”

  “It’s a shiver of ‘What are the fucking odds?’.

  He chuckled and continued working on my neck. “Nothing happens that you don’t want to happen.” He didn’t say anything else.

  Jared worked his magic on my neck, shoulders, back, arms, hands, and scalp until the movie ended. As if she sensed it was over, Tami woke, and didn’t say anything at finding Jared and I on one end of the couch. She stepped outside and I followed her.

  She lit her cigarette and said, “I think I’m going to crash. Are you going to be ok with him alone?”

  Scrunching my face, “Of course. I’m not worried about him.”

  She giggled. “Yeah. I had a feeling you two would get along. Not this well, but...”

  “He’s really easy to talk to. I feel bad. He’s your cousin and I feel like I’m stealing your time from him.”

  She waved it off. “Nonsense. We talk all the time. I’m just happy to be here with you both. Enjoy yourself.”

  “Ok.” I pulled out my phone and refreshed my email. Nothing.

  “Does he know what’s going on here?”

  I nodded, “He encouraged it.”

  Laughing, “Of course he did.” I glanced at her. “No judgement from me. You know that. Have fun.” She put out her cigarette and hugged me. “I’m crashing. See you in the morning.”

  Looking inside, I saw Jared talking on his phone. Sitting down on a lounger, I put some music on. I was missing Gregor terribly. More than I cared to admit. I put on My Favourite Faded Fantasy by Damien Rice and then perused old emails between him and me. Time got away from me and Jared scared me when he asked a simple question as I was looking over a poem I’d typed up the night before.

  He laughed when I jumped. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. Email from Gregor?”

  “No. Actually, a poem I wrote last night.”

  “Poem? Can I?”

  I gawked at him, unsure I wanted to expose my thoughts to him. “Umm, it’s not that good.”

  “Give it here. I’ll be the judge.” Hesitantly, I handed him my phone and he started reading it aloud.

  “He was my darkness

  He was my dangerous

  He was my deadly

  He was my devil

  He was my demise

  I was his starlight

  I was his shelter

  I was his salvation

  I was his saint

  I was his sanity

  We were ensnared”

  I couldn’t even look at him. It was worse than standing naked in front of a complete stranger.

  “That’s fucking deep.” My eyes jerked up to his. “It’s really good. Do you have any more?”

  Nodding my head, “Yes, there’s more but I’d have to siphon through a ton of emails to find them.”

  “It’s ok. So, have you heard from him?”

  Putting the phone in my lap, I shook my head. “Haven’t heard from him since yesterday.”

  “Is that typical?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “It varies. He knows I’m on vacation. He usually emails at least once a day, but it’s fine. I know he’s busy.”

  He sat down next to me. “So, I have a work thing to attend tomorrow evening. Sam will be there and we were hoping you and Tami would come with us.” I looked at him slightly confused. “Strictly as friends. Low key, totally casual.”

  “I mean, sure. Though I’m not sure Tami will be ok with the Sam part.”

  “You let me worry about Tami.”

  “Be my guest!” We shared a laugh at that.

  “You want to watch another movie? It’s not that late.” He seemed to pick up on my nervousness. “Meredith, what is it?”

  I exhaled heavily. “I just. This,” motioning between us, “is what Gregor and I were supposed to have.”

  Tilting his head, he asked, “What do you mean?”

  Smiling, “The platonic, candid, no emotions, just friendship thing.” He looked at me as if he was disappointed. “Hang on! I’m not saying I’m not attracted to you. I am. It’s just...different.”

  “I get it. I do.” Standing, he reached for my hand and I took his. Embracing me, “I still think you should tell him.”

  Squeezing him a little tighter, “I know. Let’s go watch that movie.”

  The next afternoon, Tami and I were doing our hair and makeup. I hadn’t heard from Gregor since the day before and let it go. He’d been sending an email every day like I’d requested so I couldn’t complain. Of course, Jared was a good distraction. Jared and Sam had to make an appearance at some charity event and we were going with them. They assured us we could dress casual, but we both pulled out the nicest outfits we had with us. Both in maxi dresses, we headed downstairs complete with our hair and makeup done.

  Both of the guys looked each of us up and down and whistled. I suddenly felt like I was headed to the prom, but way under dressed. Walking outside, Tami and I climbed in the back of Jared’s car allowing the guys to have front.

  Leaning over, I whispered, “You sure you’re ok with this?”

  “Its fine, I’ll be fine. I can handle Sam... Or let him handle me.”

  I laughed at that and tried covering my mouth. Glancing up, Jared’s eyes caught mine in the rearview mirror and he winked. Smiling, I averted my attention back to Tami.

  “I’d let him handle me, too.”

  “Bitch, please. You have enough men in your life.” Realizing how loud she’d been, she blushed and then busted up laughing. I didn’t have to look in the rearview mirror to know Jared was watching me.

  “You’re dead to me.” I tried to say it in all seriousness, but we both knew it was bullshit.

  We arrived at the charity event and it ended up being a bust. Jared and Sam said hello to the people they needed to while Tami and I occupied ourselves at the bar. We were in a pretty swanky hotel and Tami had mentioned there was a nightclub upstairs on the roof. I hadn’t been to a club in years and part of me wanted to go, though I wasn’t sure I was ok with being the old lady in the crowd either.

  “Alright ladies. The night is ours. Where to?” Sam had our attention.

  But he lost mine when I felt Jared sidle up behind me. Sitting on a barstool, I glanced back to see him leaning against the bar. I could feel the heat of his body drifting onto my exposed shoulder blades and tried to hide th
e reaction my body had.

  “Do you dance?” I could see the devilish gleam in his eyes.

  I laughed. “Not well.”

  Tilting his chin up, he challenged me, “Prove it.”

  “Oh, Jesus. I think not.” I turned back to Tami.

  Then he whispered in my ear, “I just saw that little spark of Domme in you. Trying to convince me or yourself?”

  What the hell was it with him and Gregor? How could two men so different have the same effect on me with their words? Shifting in my chair, I pursed my lips and stared at him. But he won the contest. His eyes said way too much in those few seconds. I didn’t know whether to run or climb him like a tree.

  “Meredith!”

  Realizing she’d been trying to capture my attention, I turned to Tami. “Sorry. What’s up?”

  “We’re going to the club. Come on.”

  Sighing, “Oh, shit. Ok.” Looking at Sam I gave him a look of warning.

  As if he knew what I was trying to say, he smiled and nodded.

  Jared leaned in and said, “He’ll keep an eye on her.”

  Once we entered the club, Jared and I found a corner and sat down to talk. Tami and Sam headed to the bar. It wasn’t long before Tami was trying to drag us both to the dance floor. I tried to evade her, but Jared was no help. Taking my hand, he pulled me behind him, following Sam and Tami. Snagging a shot glass from Sam, I threw it back as he and Jared both laughed at me.

  Shrugging my shoulders, Tami and I began dancing. Tilting my neck, I tried to shake off the feeling of his eyes on me. There was no way I could sense that in such a short time. More than once that night—hell the couple days I’d been there—I could feel his eyes on me. There was no explanation for it, except maybe that different wiring that Gregor and I so often talked about.

  After a couple songs, where Sam and Jared basically leaned against the wall and watched us, I surrendered. Tami cursed me and then dragged Sam to the floor with her as I traded spots with him against the wall.

  Jared’s fingers gently caressed my hip. Turning my head, I found his eyes transfixed on me and my pulse quickened as my breasts immediately ached. The look in his eyes held promises of what was to come. To anyone else he may have appeared agitated, but to me I knew it was hunger that lurked in his eyes. He was looking at me, his meal, and I was ready to be devoured by him. Standing straighter, my breath caught in my throat as I tried to take a deep breath.

  Leaning into me, his breath fluttered over my ear as his fingers continued to secretly caress my hip. “Can we go? I need to touch you.”

  My panties were wet in an instant. Without a single word, I headed toward the exit knowing he was behind me. I walked to the elevator and was grateful we appeared to be alone. Stepping into the vacant space, the doors closed and the air grew thick. Leaning against the wall behind me, my eyes drifted to his. His expression was different, darker, and that’s when it happened.

  In a single stride he closed the distance between us. His hands grabbed my hips as they pulled me against his own. My eyes closed as I sought out his lips. I needed air, needed to breathe, and in that moment only his breath would do.

  DING!

  Shit!

  The doors popped open as Jared quickly removed himself from my body and another couple entered the space with us. Avoiding eye contact with them, I glanced at Jared and he smirked. Ass. They exited before we did and again, he was on me instantly.

  Pulling my arms above my head, he pressed his entire body into mine as I moaned in response. The kiss was heavy and too fucking short. It left me feeling famished, and not for food. The elevator stopped and we were at the main floor. Motioning me out, I tried to keep myself composed. We headed toward the exit and that’s when I grew concerned about Tami.

  “Wait. What about Tami?”

  Jared smirked, “Sam has a room here. She’ll be fine.”

  Holy crap. Shit just got real! “Oh, ok.”

  Leaning into me again, he taunted me. “That means tonight, you’re mine.”

  “Fuck.”

  Stopping, he looked at me and said, “It’s up to you Meredith.”

  “No. I, yes.” Blushing, I asked, “Can we go please?”

  “I got a live one here, don’t I?”

  “Guess you’ll have to find out.”

  I was going to follow through on my homework and I was going to enjoy myself. I knew that I was playing with fire—again—but I wanted Jared; wanted to experience another Dom and I already had Gregor’s encouragement. Life was too short for regrets and what ifs. I’d rather be old and gray and be able to say, ‘You know what, I lived, I learned, I loved, I broke hearts, and had my heart broken more than I had the right to. And I experienced things most people are never willing to try.’ In my eyes that meant I won, I lived. The other option, having none of that or too little, wasn’t ok with me.

  “I have a request.” We were in his car and he nodded for me to continue. “No anal.” He looked at me funny. “Wait, let me clarify. No dick in my ass. Gregor and I haven’t done it yet. We’re working up to it.” I paused as he waited, knowing I had more to say about it. “I’m saving that for him.”

  “I can respect that. No dick in your ass. Got it. Butt plugs, fingers, tongue are all a go, though?”

  Giggling, I nodded. “Yes.”

  “Deal.”

  Then I grew nervous and paranoid. I needed Gregor’s ok. I knew the hypocrisy involved, but feeling as if he owned me, there was no other option. I pulled out my phone and emailed him quickly, Jared more than likely aware of what I was doing. He remained silent, but gently rubbed my neck as we finished the drive and I typed my email.

  TO: bruisedassets@yahoo.com

  8:59 PM

  Subject: Re: Homework

  I’m freaking out. I know I shouldn’t, but I am. We’re headed back to his place, alone, and I feel like I’m cheating...and not on Todd. I’m attracted to him, I just. I don’t know what I’m trying to say...

  I wanted Jared, there was no denying it. As we pulled in the drive, my phone began to ring. I wasn’t even sure the email had gone through yet and if he’d had time to read it. My heart immediately began to race.

  Jared pulled my chin toward him. “Talk to him. I’ll wait outside.”

  As he climbed out of the car, I answered Gregor’s call.

  “Hello?”

  “How you doing?” I slapped my hand to my forehead. Always that same initial greeting.

  Trying to sound calm, I confessed, “I’m freaking out. I know it’s just sex, but...”

  I heard his chuckle and it just turned me on more. “It’s good to play with others. I gave you homework. If you like him, trust him to give you what you need, go with it. You’ll get no judgement from me, except a pleased Sir.”

  “Ass!” I exhaled, a lone tear falling from my eye.

  “Your ass needs a good paddling or flogging.”

  “Gregor...” my voice trailed off.

  “Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”

  I steal myself knowing he’s really ok with it. Glancing over to Jared on his own phone as he sits on his porch steps, I know he’s talking to Heather. “Ok. No looking back now.”

  “Good girl, that’s the woman I know. Have fun. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Ok.”

  I put my phone on silent and shoved it into my purse before climbing out of the car. Jared slid his phone into his back pocket and smiled at me. I could tell he wasn’t sure where I stood. Smacking his ass, I climbed the stairs and waited for him to open the front door.

  “I guess that means we’re completing our homework?”

  “Not if you don’t open this front door, right now!”

  Laughing, he did just that.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  BAD THINGS

  ONCE THE DOOR WAS CLOSED, he took my hand and led me up the stairs to his room. Closing the door behind us then turning to face me, he cupped my face between the palms of his hands and kissed me. It was
n’t Gregor’s kiss, but it had the needed effect on me. Gripping his suit jacket, I pulled him closer.

  Whispering against my lips, his hands pulled up on my dress. “This needs to come off.” I lifted my arms willingly, allowing the removal of my dress. Turning me around, I felt his eyes all over me. His fingertips traced the lace of my bra between my shoulder blades. His voice was thick with lust, “This is so sexy.”

  A shiver ran over me as the heat from his hands singed me. “Thank you.”

  Turning me back around, he confessed, “I’m not thinking this through. I should’ve made you wait for me.”

  Smiling as he nipped at my lips, I offered, “We still can.”

  Hands on my shoulders, he nodded. “Put your music on and wait for me there.” He pointed to the end of the bed before he walked to his closet. He returned and gave me further instructions. “I want you kneeling on the bed. Here,” he dangled a blindfold and a leather collar between us. “Put your music on.”

  Pulling my phone from my purse, I pulled up my playlist. Since I was thoroughly being bad, I put on Bad Things by Meiko and set it down on the nightstand. Returning to stand in front of him, I turned so that he could put the blindfold on. Gregor had yet to use a blindfold on me and I was excited at this new experience.

  Cupping my face between his hands, “Your safe word is unicorn, yes?” I nodded. “If things are going too fast or you need to stop, use your safe word. Understood?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Gently, Jared placed it over my eyes. The soft material captured my sight as all my other senses immediately became more aware.

  “Can I collar you?” He picked up on my apprehension. “I know you’re his, but I prefer the collar on during play. I know it’s different for everyone.”

  “Ok.”

  “Ok, what?”

  “Yes, Sir. You can collar me. I’d like that very much, Sir.”

  I heard his moan of approval. “He’s trained you well.” Then his warm breath was in my ear, “Or it’s just natural.”