by J. M. Witt
“What is he doing here? You told me he wasn’t coming.” His voice was laced with contempt.
I was annoyed and relieved at the same time. Turning to Gregor, I kept my voice low and said, “He got home early. What do you care?”
He took a step closer and spit out, “You said you were barely even on speaking terms. Looked different to me.”
I shook my head and looked to the ceiling before returning my eyes to his. “He’s my husband, Gregor. I’m not sure what you want me to say here.”
He grumbled something under his breath as his hand ran over his face. This wasn’t like him. He was always cool, calm, and collected.
Stress got the better of me as I pushed for a reaction and I knew I was overstepping. “Don’t you dare give me shit! I’m not the only couple in this place putting on a happy face. You may be content to lie to yourself, your wife, and the world that you’re the perfect happy couple, but I—we—know differently.”
His tone said it all. It was a warning to tread lightly. “Meredith.”
I may be submissive in the bedroom, but I wasn’t going to take his shit or anyone else’s. “I’m moving forward with my life. I have no other choice.”
I turned to leave as he barked, “We are all lying.” What the hell did that mean? I didn’t have a chance to ask before he spoke again. “And what does that mean... ‘Moving forward’?”
Looking at him over my shoulder I planned to tell him that I was planning to meet with a divorce attorney when Judith walked through the door. Surprised at my quick thinking, I looked to Gregor and said, “Thank you for the donation. It’s greatly appreciated.” Ignoring the looks from them both, I made my exit.
A couple hours later, I was finally at home. Todd got home before I did as I had things to wrap up at the venue. I walked into the bedroom, already pulling the zipper down on my dress. Walking into the closet, I froze. He stood there holding Gregor’s jacket. Shit! Think, Mer, think.
“Whose is this?”
My heart was racing as I made up my lie. “Someone left it at the PTA meeting this week. No one claimed it, so I brought it home.”
He was eyeing me suspiciously. “Who is he?”
Gulping, I laughed. “Really? You think if I was having an affair I’d bring him back here?” Moving past him, I pulled my dress off and grabbed a hanger to put it on. “Dream on, Todd.”
His hands gripped my shoulders and turned me to face him. “Goddammit, Mer. This isn’t funny.”
Jerking out of his hold, I walked back out of the closet. “I know it’s not funny.” Sitting on the bed, I removed my stockings and the pins holding my hair up. Feeling his eyes on me, I looked back up to him. “Todd. Relax. I’ll send out another email and see if anyone is missing the jacket. You need to relax.”
“Don’t think that I don’t know things aren’t right with us.”
Scoffing, I agreed. “Yes, they haven’t been right for a very long time.”
He stood there a while, watching me. That was until I grabbed my pajamas and closed the bathroom door on his face. I didn’t lock it, but there was no need. He didn’t attempt to come in.
Leaving the bedroom, I found him on the couch. I walked to my office and shut down my laptop as a precaution. Grabbing my phone, I headed back to the bedroom and went to bed.
I spent the next week cleaning and decluttering the house. Christmas was upon us and I needed all the distraction I could get. Todd and I continued to fight. Sleeping next to him at night was almost unbearable and he refused to sleep anywhere but his bed. More than once I slept on the couch or curled into bed with my youngest. Gregor tried to encourage that I work on things, still not knowing how seriously I was contemplating divorce. Our schedules also had yet to work out to see each other.
A few days after the New Year, we had a PTA meeting. I was dreading it. There was already talk about the upcoming elections and everyone presumed I was going to stay on board as President. I didn’t have the heart to tell anyone that it wasn’t going to happen. I was done with it and had way too much going on in my personal life to take it on for another year. I needed to focus on my kids and myself. It was too draining.
The day of the meeting, I was out running errands. When I came home I swore I saw Judith pulling out of my subdivision as I pulled in. That was odd. When I pulled in the drive, I saw that Todd was home. That, too, was odd.
Walking in, I headed to the bedroom to find Todd making the bed. What the fuck? The bed was made when I left the house that morning. I saw red. I know, I was a hypocrite. But I’d never brought Gregor into my home, let alone my bed. I knew immediately what had happened.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He had yet to see me and turned and stared at me blank faced. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
He made a move toward me and I stepped back. “Mer. Let me explain.”
I started laughing. “Nope. There’s no need.” I walked into our bathroom and started looking around. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for or if I’d even find it. “You fucked her in our bed!”
“It won’t happen again.” I shoved him away from me.
“You fucking pig. Did it ever stop?” He just stared at me. “Jesus. I’m an idiot.” I didn’t realize I was crying until I tasted the salty tears. “Get out.”
“Meredith...”
I was surprised how calm my voice was. “Todd, I said to get out. Pack your shit and go.”
“I’m not leaving.”
Grinning I said, “Oh, but you are. You’re going to pack your shit and you can go stay with her for all I care. Or sleep in the fucking street.”
He made a move for me and I slapped him in the face. “I’m sorry. I, it’s just...”
“I don’t want to hear it. This has gone on long enough. How long I’ve gone on thinking it was over is beyond me.”
He packed his bag and when he left he was continuing to plead with me that we needed to talk. He tried bringing the kids into it and the look on my face shut him down. He left. It was then that I started shaking. My hands were trembling. I called Tami.
“Are you home?”
“Yes.”
“Can you come over?”
“Is everything ok?”
“No. It’s not. Please just come over. I need you.”
“Ok. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
His continued infidelity with Judith was just proof that our marriage was over long ago. And, yes, I said continued. I’d forgiven him once, long ago, and was foolish enough to believe it wouldn’t happen again. I’d done it, convincing myself that we needed to stay together for the kids.
Then I was reminded of something my therapist had told me a couple days prior.
“Listen. People, typically, don’t wake up one day and decide to throw a grenade on their life, their marriage. You were in the desert dying of thirst. Todd wasn’t there—or was unwilling—to give you the water you needed. Then someone, Gregor, came along and he gave you the water you so desperately needed.” He paused and nodded. “Stop beating yourself up.”
Then I realized, while the situations were different, Todd himself was also dying of thirst.
Looking at the clock, I panicked. The bus would be arriving at the bus stop any minute. Getting myself together, I climbed in my SUV and headed to pick up the kids.
When we arrived back at the house, Tami was in the driveway waiting. She looked at me funny and then devoted her attention to the kids as they swarmed her. We all headed inside and I put a movie on for the kids. Tami followed me into the bedroom as I started stripping the bed.
“Mer, what’s going on?”
“It’s over. He fucked her in MY bed. I caught him red-handed.”
“What?”
“Judith. I saw her leaving the subdivision and when I got home he was making the bed. And, he didn’t deny it.”
“Jesus Christ.”
She helped me put fresh sheets on the bed, though I contemplated dragging the mattress to the cur
b and setting it on fire. She remained quiet, knowing me well enough to know that I was thinking, though probably too much.
“Shit!” I sat down and she waited. “She’ll probably be at the PTA meeting tonight.”
“So don’t go.”
“I have to. I’m the President.”
“Then I’ll come with you. Want me to throat punch her?”
I laughed. “Yes, but no. I’d have to take the kids and I don’t need them witnessing that.” Crap, the kids.
Like she knew. “I can watch them. I’m off until tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
She and the kids kept me occupied until it was time to head to the PTA meeting. I had an email from Gregor, but I hadn’t even read it yet with everything that was going on. Todd hadn’t called or texted and for me, that just confirmed it even more. Todd and I were more than likely over.
Pulling into the school parking lot I spotted Gregor’s truck and Judith’s monster SUV. Fuck me. Please Lord, let me not go to prison tonight.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
LIFT ME UP
CLOSING MY EYES, I TOOK a deep breath before getting out of my SUV and walking inside. I was greeted by the usual smiling faces, just nodding and smiling back at them, I headed to the PTA office. Standing behind the desk, my arms braced the edge, fully extended as I dropped my head between them. My heart was racing and it hurt to breathe.
A knock came to the door. “You got a minute?”
My head and neck tilted in response to his voice, almost as if I could feel his breath on my neck. “Not really.” Raising my eyes, I tried to smile.
His eyes narrowed on me and he knew immediately something was off. “What’s going on?”
I shook my head, “I can’t. Not now.”
Marcy poked her head in the door and chirped, “We’re ready when you are.” Then she left.
“Can you talk after?”
Smiling and squinting at him, confused, I asked, “Here? Umm...”
Lowering his voice, he directed me. “Meet me at Joplin’s. I’ll pick you up and we can talk.”
I blew out a breath. I couldn’t say no and I needed him. “Yeah. Ok.”
Stepping closer, he smirked, “I can’t wait to see you. Spank you.” And then like his shoes were on fire, he bolted out the door.
Several minutes later the meeting was underway. Admittedly, I struggled to focus. He leaned against the back wall, alone, and I had a puddle in my panties knowing his eyes were on me. I pushed the sleeves of my sweater up my arms and pressed my water to my face. Glancing his way, he smirked at me. He knew exactly what was going on with me.
Chugging some of my water, I tried to remain focused. “Meredith, do we have the final tally from the auction?”
Her voice was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. She sat in the front row, right in front of me. That was probably part of my problem, too. The fucking balls this bitch had were unbelievable. Hell, maybe she was a dude. That would make everything so much more tolerable. Yup. I decided then and there she was a dude and Todd was gay. I started laughing.
“I’m sorry. Is something funny?”
That brought me back to the question at hand. “Judith.” I smiled, though it didn’t touch my eyes. I shuffled through my papers. “We raised over seven grand.”
She sighed, “You don’t have an exact number?” I caught her tone and she’s lucky I didn’t launch myself, or my bottle of water, at her.
“No, actually I don’t. I must’ve forgotten my spreadsheet at home.” I tilted my head at her. “You know where I live, right?” Her face began to pale. “I mean, with all those kids, and no maid to help me out, and a husband who’s always gone, it’s easy to understand that I misplaced it.”
She sat her ass down and shut up. If she thought I was going to leave her unscathed in all of this, I just let her know that I wouldn’t if pushed hard enough. Gregor, who’d been playing on his phone the whole time, now wasn’t. His hands still clutched his phone, but his eyes were on me. He was probably wondering if he was going to have to break up a cat fight and if so, why with Judith.
Gregor knew I didn’t like her, but never knew why. And it was a conversation I didn’t want to have with him. Ok, maybe that was a lie. Fuck. I just wanted out of that school and in the back of his truck. Damn him!
The meeting was almost over when one of the parents, one of Judith’s minions, asked a question about elections. She was prying and wanted to know if any of the positions would even be open. Typically we all ran unopposed. Just further evidence that no one wanted these jobs bad enough to compete for them.
Fuck it. I didn’t care anymore. “I have no intention of running for President, if that’s what you’re asking.”
The room grew silent. Marcy chimed in, “But you’ve done an amazing job. You’re not running?”
Marcy was sweet, but there was no way I was running again. Then Todd’s cross-dresser opened her mouth and I lost it.
“Well, that’s a relief.”
I saw Gregor push himself off the back wall out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored him. Eyes narrowed at Judith, I spit out, “I’m sorry Judith. Is there something you want to say, want to confess to?” She just balked at me, but her minion opened her mouth.
“I nominate Judith Miller for President.” The room was still silent, all eyes on me and Judith. While I wasn’t popular like Judith, I was respected.
“You know what? I think that’s a fan-fucking-tastic idea!” I started gathering all my PTA paperwork, placed it in my hands and then walked over to Judith. Dropping the stack of papers at her feet, she jumped and leaned back in her chair. Towering over her, I gleamed. “I quit! You can have it.” Then I lowered my voice so only her and her minion could hear it. “You can have him, too. He’s all yours.” Then I walked out the door.
I bee-lined it for the PTA office, grabbing an empty box that sat in the hallway on my way. I heard footsteps following behind me, but didn’t know or care who it was. If that bitch said one more word to me, I wouldn’t hesitate to expose her.
Throwing the few personal items I kept at the school in a box, I heard the door close. I almost said his name, presuming it was Gregor, and was glad I didn’t when I saw who it was. It was Principal Patterson.
“I hope you weren’t serious, Meredith. This school needs you.”
I shook my head as tears threatened. She was a kind and fair woman and was a great leader at the school, but there was no way I could do this again. “I can’t do it. I’m sorry. This isn’t like me, but please understand that I have no other choice.”
She sighed. “Ok. I won’t pry, but know I’m here if you need anyone to talk to.”
“Thank you.”
She opened the door and as I headed toward the exit, I saw Gregor pacing the front hall. As I approached him, more people flocked toward the exit, the meeting officially over. I couldn’t bear the thought of running into Judith once more, so I left, not saying a word to him. Once in my car, my phone alerted me to a text.
He still wanted to meet, but suggested we try Rodeo 1 first. I replied that I’d be there in ten minutes. I made it there before he did, Lift Me Up by Mree playing. I texted him that it was all clear, knowing I’d left the school before he did.
The lights of his truck pulled in a few minutes later. Waiting for him to climb out of his truck, I then followed. We hadn’t been to Rodeo 1 in so long. It was nice to be back there, at our original spot. He stood by his truck waiting for me.
When I was within touching distance, he pulled me close like he always did. Unable to fight it, I dropped my head and clung to him.
“You doing ok? You were pretty emotional in your emails this week.” I raised my eyes to his unsure how much I should tell him.
It was like kismet. My emails had been emotional, almost as if I saw something horrible coming before it’d even happened.
Looking away, I nodded and lied. Even when I tried to hide my emotions from him, I couldn’t do it.
Not even in email. “I’m better.”
“No you’re not.” He clasped his hands around my arms, whispering, “You need a good cry.” He had no idea.
It was a statement, not a question and I simply nodded though I knew there was no time for crying now.
Cupping my face, he pulled me closer. “Soon, this week. We’ll get you back in balance.”
Whispering against his lips, which lingered in front of mine, I consented. “Ok.”
“So, what was that with Judith?”
“Can we not talk about her? Please.”
Leaning back, it almost fueled him on. “Now I know we need to talk. What’s going on?”
I felt sick. “Can we sit?”
“Sure.” He took my hand. He’d never done that, not like this, and led me to the picnic table where we sat down. “Talk.”
“There’s just no easy way around it. And I’m well aware of all the hypocrisy, all things considered.”
“Ok.”
“Todd and Judith are sleeping together.” His lack of shock shocked me. He had almost no reaction. He didn’t say anything so I continued. “He didn’t deny it when I confronted him. Turnabout is fair play or something like that.”
“I have to tell you something.” I narrowed my eyes at him as he removed his hat. “I knew.”
My bones ached and my face felt like it was on fire and I slid back a few inches. “Excuse me?” He just stared back at me. “What do you mean ‘you knew’?”
He explained that he found out the night of the auction. But he didn’t realize Todd was my husband until I walked out of the bathroom and Todd stole me away from him. Then he told me that was the reason he found me in the kitchen and what he meant when he said ‘we are all lying’. Now it made sense. But it didn’t make me feel any better.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t know he was your husband.” And why would he? Todd was rarely ever at the school, always on the road. “I spotted him and Judith talking privately, and, well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”