Triangle

by Sara L Daigle

  “Because you’re my friend, Kari, and because anything I read from you I get to share in. And believe me, I don’t want to share that particular memory,” Tamara said, making a face. “It took me quite a while and some little adjustments from Greg to get out of Joely’s memory. It was really pretty unpleasant. Horrific was more like it.”

  “Oh.” Kari was silent for a moment. “You’re so lucky. You found someone. Watching you and Alarin … I guess I just want that for myself, too. Maybe I’m pushing for a relationship too hard. And assuming that things were happening with Damiar that weren’t there.”

  “It will happen, when the timing’s right,” Tamara assured her as she reached out to give her a hug. “Whether it’s with an Azellian or human, it will happen. Don’t worry about it.”

  Kari returned the hug. “Thanks, Tam. I don’t really want to leave my room, though. Not for a month or two.”

  Tamara laughed. “As pleasant as that might sound right now, that’s really not a good idea. It would get rather smelly in here.”

  Kari threw a pillow at her. Tamara caught it and threw it back. Kari put the pillow behind her and leaned back.

  “Come on, I’m starved. Let’s go get some lunch and forget about the whole thing. I ran out of my apartment so fast this morning I didn’t get to eat breakfast.”

  Kari put her legs over the edge of the bed. “Fine. Let’s go to The Grill, though, please? It’s not on campus, and we’re less likely to run into other students.”

  “That I can live with,” Tamara replied. After Kari took a few minutes in the bathroom to make herself presentable, they left the dorm. Apparently, Alarin had done as Tamara asked and taken the two Azellians away with him, since she didn’t see him at the doorway waiting.

  The afternoon passed pleasantly, and Kari seemed to recover more as the day wore on. They lingered over lunch at The Grill, which was unusually, but fortuitously, quiet on a Saturday. By the time three o’clock rolled around, and she and Alarin left to visit with her family, Tamara actually felt as if Kari might be coming back to her usual bouncy self, which was a relief. She hated seeing Kari so distressed.

  After Tamara canceled coming into work that day, Merran stared at his desk. He’d been avoiding her since they broke up—not difficult, given his always packed schedule—but when he saw the caller notice pop up, he decided to answer it. Tamara was raised as a human, so from his experience with human women, he’d rather expected it to be somewhat uncomfortable between them when they finally did speak. Despite expecting it, he found he didn’t care for the sensation of stiff, awkward tension at all, and was relieved to discover from their brief conversation that Tamara wasn’t going to be dramatic about their breakup.

  There had been a few people over the years who hadn’t taken breaking up well. One had tried to starve herself to death to get his attention back, startling him with the force of her reaction to a relationship that hadn’t been all that important to him. It had taught him to be cautious about whom he chose as a partner. As unguarded as he’d been with Tamara, unlike everyone else who had come into his life since that long ago relationship with Kaelynn, he was deeply grateful that she seemed to be handling it fairly well. At the same time, a sting of pain zipped through him. She might be handling it well, but he was still plagued with a sense of sorrow and regret. He’d given her up, but his relationship with Alarin showed no signs of improvement, what closeness he did have with Tamara was now damaged, and on top of that, he had a heartache to go with everything else. He pushed aside the thoughts and buried himself in work again.

  A few hours later, the intercom buzzed, and Merran tapped the phone to accept the call. “The Dorbin ambassador is here for your meeting, Ambassador,” Janille said calmly, her mind giving him what details he needed through mental contact.

  “Send the ambassador in, please,” Merran replied, thickening his shields and shoving down his unruly emotions.

  The Dorbin didn’t enter through the door. The non-corporeal being simply appeared in Merran’s office, the door still quite firmly closed.

  “Welcome,” Merran said, getting to his feet. “Thank you for agreeing to meet again on a Saturday to get this finalized, Ki’i. Please, sit and let us finish discussing the details about getting those plants to us and arranging payment for them.”

  “The honor is mine.” The ambassador drifted closer and settled into a chair in front of the desk, as Merran sat down again.

  Merran nodded and rested his arms on the desk. “We have agreed to an exchange. You will merge with me for an evening. You will allow a physical psi user other than myself to come to Dorbin to commune with your plants. We have agreed to this. But my concern is whether the plants can survive elsewhere other than Dorbin.”

  Ki’i flared, bright yellow spikes appearing in its filmy aura. “The transition of our plants to another planet will be simple, once a connection is made. They do not require much to grow, but they do require a link to another who is able to commune with them. Once that communion has been achieved, the plants will grow wherever you wish to take them.”

  “Good. That sounds easy enough.”

  The Dorbin ambassador’s yellow spikes mellowed into a beautiful turquoise green, rippling through the air in a rainbow of color. “Complication is not required.” Amusement tinged the air with a brighter green. “Their caretakers will need to be chosen carefully, however. Those who choose to be joined with our plants may find themselves changed.”

  Merran blinked. “Like the Miir? Are you saying your plants are sentient and will choose a symbiosis with mobile beings?” That complicates things, he thought to himself, wondering why Ki’i had not mentioned this earlier, like when Merran had learned how to take care of the plants himself, or when they’d talked about merging as payment for the plants. Merran would have a hard time finding an Azellian who was not urro-ken willing to be taken over by another awareness. Since most urro-ken were not allowed off Azelle, it might well be a nearly impossible task. He tried not to let his frustration show. This was where talks had foundered the first time. Although his willingness to merge with Ki’i had facilitated the Dorbin’s agreement to allow another caretaker other than himself, Merran hadn’t realized the full extent of what would be involved. His mind raced through the possibilities, testing. When the talks had moved forward again with Ki’i’s agreement to exchange the plants for an opportunity to merge with Merran, he had decided to ask his assistant Jamian, because of Jamian’s experience with the non-corporeal aarya. As a former Keeper, who had received specialized training and spent a good chunk of his time with the aarya, Jamian had experience with non-corporeal beings. The question is, how will Jamian take the idea of sharing his psyche? Merran thought behind heavy shields. Although he’d shared his intentions with his assistant, this had not been part of their conversation. Jamian had agreed to become a caretaker, but Merran now wondered if this final piece would be a deal breaker. The plan was to have Ki’i test Jamian, which now seemed even more critical.

  Ki’i was silent for a moment, as if choosing its words. “Our plants are not sentient as the Miir are, no. But they are … aware.”

  A hint of an idea tickled the back of Merran’s mind, a step that might start to heal the thousand-year-old rift between urro-ken and umanaarya, if Jamian agreed to the assignment. The sheer audacity of the idea made his mind shudder as the room whirled slowly around him, energy thundering through his body in the way it usually did when something fundamental was shifting around him. He blinked and let it happen, knowing he would be able to process it later. For now, he just let the possibility roll through him unimpeded and unprocessed. Kyarinal. All that is possible becomes possible, he said in his mind, and allowed the possibility he could feel take shape. Alawahea. It is as it is. He forced himself to speak, as if nothing had changed. “If I introduce you to the one whom I have in mind for this training, would you be able to tell if he will have a successful transition? My intention, as we corporeals are mortal and have limited lif
e spans, is to train multiple people to care for the plants over generations.”

  The Dorbin didn’t seem to notice anything unusual. Its aura shimmered a beautiful blend of orange, red, and pink, shading into blues and greens on the edges, as if the sunset had just painted the interior of the office. “You have given this thought. This pleases me. Yes, I would like to meet this choice.”

  “Let me call him in.” Merran reached over and picked up the cool plastic of the handset, reaching out with his mind at the same time and brushing up against his assistant’s shields. “Jamie, if you would come in here, please?” He spoke into the phone, but it was his mental touch that conveyed to his assistant the urgency for him to come into the office.

  A few moments later, a very tall man almost ten years older than Merran opened the door and walked into the office. Long and lean, Jamie looked as though he missed more meals than he ate, but as a former Keeper from the Temple, who had once shared his mental space with the aarya themselves, Merran knew he would not buckle under alien perceptions. “You wished to see me, Ambassador?” He spoke formally, as he usually did. As a former acolyte who had experience with the Keepers, Merran found him less unnerving than many of the rest of the staff did, so he usually worked with Jamian directly. That familiarity had not softened Jamian’s formality into something less structured and more relaxed, however.

  “Jamie, come in,” Merran said, getting to his feet and giving Jamian a bow. “This is Ambassador Ki’i from Dorbin. Ambassador, this is Jamian Tamyth Memaxthal.”

  The Dorbin ambassador floated up out of its chair and turned to face the newcomer. Jamian bowed. “Ambassador,” he said in his deep, calm voice. Even years after having left the Temple, Jamian still exuded the deep peace that was part of being from the Temple. It made him a very good assistant, more so sometimes than the volatile Ketiana, but because he did not see things the way everyone else did, he was also rather unpredictable and somewhat unreliable at times.

  “Ah,” Ki’i said, floating closer to the former Keeper. “May I?”

  Jamian inclined his head, and the Dorbin ambassador “reached” out, filmy tendrils of energy visible against the dark background of the office wall, flaring brilliantly against Jamian’s shields. Merran watched as Jamian lowered his shields easily and the Dorbin ambassador dimmed, as though parts of its being were soaking into Jamian’s tall form.

  A few moments later, Merran realized that was exactly what was happening, as Jamian’s aura shaded into an odd, blended color of coffee and cream, rather than his normal clear brown, with spikes of green and blue flaring and disappearing, like the glistening scales of a water snake disappearing into murky water. Merran had seen auras meld before, of course, when a couple shared intimacy, but it had never looked like this. This reminded him more of what an urro-ken’s aura looked like after their meynsur permanently merged with them.

  Shudders gripped Jamian’s big frame. He panted in short, intense bursts, fists clenched tightly, but said nothing as Ki’i’s form dimmed almost to nothing. He shivered again, his skin rippling, reminding Merran that the merging could express itself sexually—or at least it had with the urro—creating a sensation in the body not unlike orgasm. Although Merran could not read the former Keeper—Jamian kept whatever he was feeling under tight shields—a deep, distinctly sexual groan escaped the big man, as Ki’i’s form slowly brightened again. As the Dorbin exited Jamian’s body, Jamian let out his breath, then quite deliberately took a deep inhale, carefully unclenching his fists and stretching his fingers.

  Ki’i returned to hover in front of Merran’s desk. “This choice will do very well,” it said, emanating pleasure. “Our plants will thrive in communion with him. And he will bring wisdom to us in the sharing.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Merran said. “Thank you, Jamie, you and I will talk later. Unless you need a moment?”

  Jamian inclined his head, his aura back to its normal translucent brown. “Thank you, but I am fine, Ambassador.” He bowed deeply and left, moving a little more stiffly than normal, but better than Merran had after similar experiences with the urro. Keeper training apparently includes how to function after a merge, Merran thought to himself, watching Jamian leave. His assistant didn’t seem to be at all disturbed by the merging, which was a very good sign.

  “All right,” Merran said, bringing his attention back to Ki’i. “Everything is in place. One evening merged with me in exchange for your plants.” Watching Ki’i merge with Jamian reminded him how it had felt to allow the urro access to his body, something he hadn’t done in years. He’d never reached Keeper status at the Temple, and the aarya, though as incorporeal as the urro, never merged like this with acolytes, although from Jamian’s calm reaction to Ki’i’s approach, he wondered if they did with Keepers. A pleasant, almost sexual anticipation stirred his body, and he could feel himself reacting rather more strongly than he expected—or maybe he was picking up Ki’i’s excitement? It was hard to tell, because the Dorbin was emoting all over the office. Merran let himself ride the anticipation, remembering the other perk of merging with an ancient being—disassociation from his emotions. It would be wonderful to get a break from the nagging grief and regret. And if the merging had the sexual effect it seemed to have on Jamian, he would count it a bargain well made. “Come, we will make our way to a part of Denver to the east, an area my fellow Azellians do not frequent. I’ll want privacy for the merge, so I will take us to a hotel first.” Ki’i sent agreement.

  They didn’t say much as he and Ki’i headed across town, far away from those parts of Denver that Azellians patronized, using a nondescript embassy car that would not stick out. After he checked in under an assumed name and paid with cash, Merran made his way to the hotel room with a rising sense of excitement. The door had no sooner closed behind him when a very familiar, long forgotten sensation tickled through him. He abruptly understood Jamian’s reaction in the office as a sense of sharp ecstasy doused him, his nerves firing pleasurably as Ki’i’s energy filtered through his skin. He was vaguely aware that he’d gone to his knees, his body shuddering in reaction—how had Jamian kept on his feet in the office? Unlike with the urro, however, after a few moments, Ki’i’s presence slowly blunted the pleasure his body felt, the sensations being picked up and filtered by Ki’i’s awareness rather than his as Ki’i took control of his body. A faint, half-felt sense of alarm spilled through him—in the anticipation of this moment, Merran had negotiated nothing about how Ki’i should treat his body while in control of it—but then the alarm, too, was gone, washed away in a sudden darkness that swallowed him whole. Sinking into that darkness, Merran abruptly lost all sense of anything at all, his psyche disappearing under the weight of the alien being that possessed him.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning, Merran woke to the sun in his eyes, a nasty taste in his mouth along with another pounding head. He sat up, then collapsed back onto the bed with a groan. What the hell had happened last night? The last thing he remembered was reaching a final agreement with the Dorbin ambassador regarding both the negotiation for the Dorbin plants the Azellian Healers wanted so badly and the merging Ki’i wanted almost as strongly. Ki’i had met and approved of Jamian as a liaison. Once Merran realized merging with Ki’i would have a sexual side effect he did not want either humans or Azellians to witness, they had gone to a hotel far away from the embassy and any Azellian who might be able to perceive Ki’i’s alien presence within Merran … and done … what?

  He reached for hazy memories, using techniques his time as an acolyte at the Temple had taught him to refine and sharpen. He could remember merging with Ki’i, the sensation of an alien being sliding into him familiar from his experiences as urro-ken. Although it felt similar to merging into the mind of a lover, the merge with Ki’i had been distinctly different, in that the alien awareness fit over Merran’s like a glove. And unlike Merran’s experiences with the urro, who were very careful to share the psyche and not take it over, Ki’i had be
en in total control of Merran’s body last night. It certainly explained the haziness of his memories, but not the feeling that he’d gotten drunk again and was now suffering from yet another hangover.

  Merran sat up gingerly and looked around. He was not in his apartment or his office, or anywhere he recognized. It looked and felt like the hotel room he’d rented last night, although his psi was still a bit wonky from the hangover—or from Ki’i’s presence—so he couldn’t be sure it was the same one. He could still feel the alien inside of him, but Ki’i had relinquished control back to him, so he could see and hear and touch as he always did. There was no one else in the room with him, thank the aarya, but Ki’i’s presence added another layer to his psi and he could sense a tingle from the pillow beside him. Reaching out his hand, he brushed his hand across the pillow and picked up the faint fading mental residue of a woman. With that memory, he suddenly had a vivid sensual recall of sliding into a woman’s body, Ki’i’s elation rocketing through him strongly enough to distract Merran from even the most basic physical function of sexual intercourse.

  A firm knock on the door made him wince, the thunderous sound echoing in his head. Merran swung his legs over the edge of the bed, halting for a moment as his stomach began to rebel. Instead of trying to make it to the door, he reached out mentally to brush up against shields he knew well.

  Katie? What are you doing here? He unlocked the door with his telekinetic abilities—apparently those abilities were still functional despite the sluggishness of the rest of him.

  Ketiana came through the door forcefully, allowing the door to slam shut behind her as Merran closed his eyes and pressed his hand against his temple. She came to a halt, staring at him, her eyes wide and horrified.

  “What?” Merran asked, looking down at his naked body, hastily reaching to drag a sheet over his waist. “What’s wrong?” He didn’t move, not trusting his stomach to stay where it belonged. “Do I look that bad?”