Axel: (A Gritty Bad Boy MC Romance) (The Lost Breed MC Book 2)
Page 39
"Elizabeth? Should I come back?" I hated to have her turn and see me standing there like some kind of creep.
She jerked around and wiped at her face as her shoulders stiffened. "No. I'm fine. Sorry. Just a fight with my mother. She's worried and all up in my business."
"Do you need to go?" I walked in and stopped in front of her. There was less than a foot between us, and I knew by the sadness sitting on her that she needed me to reach out, to grab her shoulders and pull her against me, but I couldn't. We would end up in a place that I wasn't yet ready to take us to. She depended on me to maintain the space between us, and I was just barely strong enough to hold that unspoken promise in check.
"No. Really. I'm good. Just stupid shit that shouldn't be brought into my job." She wiped her eyes once more and forced a smile. She was beautiful in her softness, her femininity. The strong, tough girl who had been walking around the hospital for the last two days was gone for the moment, but I could sense her trying to regain control.
"We can't help it when life follows us in here. It's part of what makes us great doctors, right?" I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and studied her.
"I suppose you're right." She smiled and ran her fingers through her thick tresses, teasing me with the desire to want to do the same.
"What can I do to help?" I moved to my desk and dropped down in my chair. "Have a seat and talk to me. I'm not just your mentor here. I've been through most of what you have, or so I assume. Sit down and let it all out." I wanted to know what was plaguing her. I had more resources than I knew what to do with. If she needed a small loan, I could help.
"It's okay." She moved to take a seat in front of me as her eyes lit up. "You were brilliant in there today. I enjoyed that so incredibly much."
"You were too. I'm impressed, and it’s not easy to do. You've done it in less than a week," I chuckled. "I'm sorry that I arrived in time to hear a little of your conversation, and I don't mean to press, but I'm going to."
"Alright." She glanced down at her hands, which rested in her lap. "Just don't think less of me when you peel back a few of these layers. Okay?"
Her eyes filled with tears again, and I was shocked by the level of need I had to shut down her sadness, to wipe it away and cover her in kisses. I wasn't falling in love, but the connection between us left me hungry for the thought of trying again.
"That's ridiculous. I'm concerned with you taking on too much and your performance here suffering. You're at the top of your class here, much like you were at NYU. Doctors are going to notice you, and you want that." I leaned forward a little. "Why would you think to get another job? Are you not happy here?"
"Oh. That." She wiped at her face again. "I'm not getting another job in lieu of this one. I need one in addition to it."
"Why? Are they not paying you enough?" I lifted my eyebrow. The residency didn't pay great, but it was good, at least from what I could remember.
"Yes, they are. It's very comparable, but I'm trying to help keep my mother afloat, pay back my student loans, and pay for my place with Stephanie, my roommate." She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I'm one of those kids."
"One of what kids?" I crossed my arms over my chest and studied her.
"One who didn't have a father and my single mother did the best she could." She shrugged, working to deflect the sadness that went hand-in-hand with talking about such things. "We were poor. We still are poor."
I nodded. "I'm not sure I would classify myself as one of those kids. You're a woman… a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman."
Her eyes moved up to mine, and I could see that I'd struck a chord with her. I kept moving forward.
"You don't need to get another job. We can figure this out. I'll help. If you'll let me." I slid my hands across my desk and tapped it. "I was where you were at one time. It's about time I pay it forward now that I'm not there anymore."
She shook her head as a look of horror moved across her face. "No. Absolutely not."
I chuckled as she stood. "I didn't mean to offend you. Honestly."
"You didn't, but I'm not taking money from anyone. If you have another office or a side job I could do, then maybe, but I'm not one to take handouts." She shook her head, and the smell of her shampoo wrapped around me, driving a stake of desire down through the center of me. It was horrible, but I wanted to help her just so she might like me more, might consider going out with me sometime. I was too old, and Parks was much more her style and speed, but something sat between us. It was something that I wanted to explore it.
"Close the door. Please." I moved around the desk and watched as she got up and walked to the door. Her confidence was all but gone, but I enjoyed seeing this side of her as well. She was in need, and I wanted to provide for her.
"Dr. Crawford. Look..." she stopped just in front of me.
"Aiden. Please." I reached toward her and squeezed her shoulders softly. "Let me help. I want to."
"I can't." She reached up and pressed her hand to my chest, shocking me. It felt good to be touched by her. I just needed her fingers to brush against my skin under my clothes, to feel the silkiness of her exploring me.
"Then let's come up with a proposition. We're going to be in each other's lives for the next three years. We can find a way for you to work the money off, or, when you're a successful surgeon, you can just pay me back." I released her and took a step back before taking a shallow breath. "Don't deny my help. Please. I have no one in my life to bless with all I've received."
"Where are your parents?" she asked softly.
"They died when I was young, and I have no siblings." I glanced up at the ceiling, hating how much it hurt to bare my soul to anyone. "I honestly have no one."
"That's horrible." She stayed put, but I could see the desire she had to move closer.
"It's life, and it's been by choice, I think. I love it here, as I've said before. Let me help you." I gave her a warm smile.
She nodded just before pulling her bottom lip into her mouth and studying my face. "Not that I'm that great, but what if... what if I gave you my time? My attention? What if I gave you access to me? Would that at all be of interest to you?"
I almost swallowed my tongue. She wasn't anywhere as innocent as I'd believed her to be. I couldn't speak as I watched her closely. My body hardened painfully and I ached to take her up on the offer, starting now.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry. Forget I said that. I've never tried to sell myself for money. I don't know what I was…"
"Yes. I want that." I nodded as warmth flooded me. "I don't know what the details would be, but I've spent too many nights with women I don't know just to feel some semblance of warmth. I want what you're offering."
Her cheeks flooded with a beautiful muted red, and I touched the side of her face, forcing her to look up at me.
"But only if you want what you've offered. I won’t be comfortable with us sharing ourselves together if you're not at all attracted to me." My head was spinning. Were we really having this conversation? I could barely keep up thanks to the blood pumping through me at breakneck speed.
"I am." She glanced down and took a shaky breath. "I know I shouldn't be, but I can't stop thinking about you."
"Not love, Elizabeth. Lust." I moved closer as she reached for me, her hands sliding over my hips as she gripped me tightly. "Offer me lust."
She nodded and moved up to her toes as I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. The kiss was delicious, everything I thought it would be. She groaned low in her chest as I slid my fingers into her silky, thick hair and forced my tongue deep into her mouth.
We were both panting by the time I pulled back, and I had no doubt that I'd found my match in the bedroom if nothing else. The fact that she could keep up so well in my operating room made the idea of taking her late at night even more appetizing.
"Lust," she whispered. "I can do that."
"Good. We're nothing more than what we were five minutes ago when we're here at the hospital
or anywhere in town. Understood?" I gripped her face tightly and leaned down for another long kiss. She opened up to me and pressed herself to the front of me as my insides throbbed with desire.
"I understand." She moved back and pressed her hand to her lips. "You call when you need me, and I'll come."
"Yes, several times if I have anything to say about it." I licked at my mouth and walked around the desk, not entirely sure how I felt about things. "Give me your bank account information soon, and I'll set up an automatic pull from one of my accounts."
"Not too much, okay? I'm serious, Aiden." She moved to the door, and I almost lamented letting her go. There was relief in not hiding just how much she turned me on, but now that it was out in the open between us, I was ready for the next step. I wanted her beneath me, wet, hot, tight, mine.
"That's none of your concern. No more being worried about money. Just focus your job here, and on me when I need you, and everything will work out." I took a shallow breath and pressed my hands to the desk. "Two more things quickly."
"Anything." She pressed her back to the door behind her, the position showing me the sexy little pebbles that pressed against her top.
"You're not with your boyfriend anymore, right? I don't like drama or things that can't be fixed with medical instruments." I smirked, trying to lighten the tension between us.
"We're over." She watched me like a hawk, and I reveled in the fact that the lust I'd seen the night before was intensified tenfold now.
"I'm demanding, and I'm dominant in the bedroom. I'm giving, but I want what I want." I stood up. "When I want it."
She nodded. "I'm all in."
"Good. Now, get out before I start taking advantage of your offer here and now." I sat down and pulled a file into my lap as she left. I waited until she was gone to press my hand to the front of my scrubs, and let out a soft growl. She had my insides twisted up completely, but it would be her job to soon relieve me.
I honestly couldn't wait.
Chapter 11
Elizabeth
What had I done? Confusion welled up inside me, and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I walked toward the women’s locker room and ducked inside. Stephanie moved in behind me and let out a long sigh.
"It's not working," she growled, and ignored me as I stopped and stood numbly in the middle of the room.
I was dizzy, and if I didn't sit down soon I was going to hit the floor. Had I really just offered up my body to my mentor? I hadn't said body. I said time, attention, but not my body.
But you didn't deny him.
"Are you even listening?" She spun around and gave me a hard look before her face fell. "Oh shit. What's the matter? Is something wrong with your mom?"
She moved toward me and slid her hands up my arms as I shook my head.
"No. I just need to sit down. I don't feel so good." I let her help me to the nearest bench as I dropped down on it. In a matter of minutes I'd fucked up all I'd worked for. There was no way that Aiden was going to take me up on the offer. He would report me, and I would be out on my ass. Why hadn't I worded it differently? Had I meant to offer him my body?
No. Yes. Fuck.
I realized that Stephanie was squatting in front of me, jabbering on about something.
"What? I didn't hear you." I reached out and touched her shoulder. She was upset about something and needed me. "What's wrong?"
"Lizzy. You're what’s wrong. Shit. What's the matter? You look like you just found out that your mother died. Talk to me. You're scaring me."
A couple of other girls from the program gathered behind Steph, all of them looking genuinely concerned.
"I'm fine. There was just a lot of trauma in the E.R. this morning. I'm trying to shake off some of the stuff I had to see." I pressed my hands to my thighs and pulled my emotions back in. Now was not the time to freak out, especially not in front of everyone. They were waiting for someone to crack, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be me.
"You got to go into the E.R. this morning?" One of the taller girls standing close to us grumbled. "That's unfair. It's because Dr. Crawford let you, right?"
"Yeah. He wanted help, and I showed up at the right time, I guess." I tried to stand, and found that I was steady on my feet again. "I need to get out of here. You free?"
Stephanie stood with me, not letting go of my arms. Concern filled her face and she nodded. "I can be. Just let me check out with my mentor and I'll meet you at the door nearest the E.R., okay?"
"Yeah. I'm good. Just too much all of a sudden." I forced a tight smile and moved past her to walk to my locker. There was no way I was telling anyone about my conversation with Aiden. Not even Stephanie, and she knew everything about me.
I have to tell her. How else will I explain the money?
The chances of Dr. Crawford being serious about taking me up on the offer to use my body any time he wanted was slim. The larger concern at the moment was if he really did take me up on it. I wasn't a hooker or a slut. I'd slept with Jackson. I had no clue how to please a man like Aiden.
"Shit," I mumbled to myself as I stopped in front of my locker and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Maybe I needed to find a boyfriend and just explain my insanity to him. He wouldn’t want me if I was with someone else. We'd been through a lot in the E.R. just a few hours before. I was traumatized. Yeah. I could use that.
Just the memory of his hands on my face made my stomach tighten with desire. The kiss... fuck, the kiss... had been so good. It felt so right. I opened my eyes and took a shaky breath as his words echoed in my mind. He was dominant and demanding, and he wanted what he wanted... when he wanted it. My body pulsed with the strongest desire I'd ever felt.
"You okay?" One of the other girls touched my back, and I jerked away before offering her an apologetic smile.
"Yeah. Absolutely. Just too much drama for not getting any sleep last night. I guess it's a great hazing for what we're up against, right?" I grabbed my bag and decided that I'd keep my scrubs on for the time being. Getting out of there was more important than changing.
"That's what they say. I have no clue how these doctors do it, but I guess we're going to get a big-ass dose of the how along with the why." She smiled and moved back.
I pulled my bag from my locker and walked out into the hall as Parks turned the corner. He was the last person in the whole universe that I wanted to see.
"Princess Lizzy." He moved up beside me and pressed his shoulder against mine. "You don't look so hot."
I snorted. "So yesterday I was the girl of your dreams and today I'm chopped liver?"
"Oh no... You’re still her." He wrapped his arm over the top of my shoulders, and I started to pull back, but didn't want to overreact. He wasn't doing anything that I should find offensive. I was touchy because of Aiden. Nothing else.
"You're going to just keep dropping your heart on a cutting board and handing me a knife, aren't you?" I pulled from him as we reached the door, and turned to find Steph bouncing up with excitement on her pretty face.
"Parks! Come with us. We're going to grab something to eat." She hooked my arm with hers and glanced up at me. "Please. Please can he come?"
I rolled my eyes and looked back at him. He was intensely good looking, but no. Just no. "I almost feel like you're a needy little puppy that wants a place to sleep and someone to rub your belly."
He laughed, not taking my words offensively at all. Point for him. He pulled up his shirt to reveal a sexy six-pack and thick pectorals. He was flawless.
"Go ahead, princess. You can rub my belly any day." He turned at the sound of Aiden's voice, which stole my attention immediately.
"Parks. Get over here and stop harassing the residents. No one wants to pat any part of you. Behave." He smirked at Parks and gave me and Steph a warm smile.
My insides turned to mush as I tried to remember that I was in my late twenties and not fifteen again.
"Awww... come on. Can't someone be on my side?" Parks threw his hands in the ai
r.
"I am." Steph poked at him, and he winked at her before pulling her into a side hug and turning his attention back to Aiden.
"We're going to grab a burger. You want to unscrew the ball and chain that has you stuck here 24/7 and come with us?" Parks nodded at Aiden. "Come on, buddy. Everyone has to eat."
"No, but thank you. Stop flashing people." Aiden turned his entrancing blue eyes on me. "Have fun, and don't let this guy bother you. Just keep pushing back and he might eventually get the hint."
"Never. She's going to be mine. I'm calling dibs." Parks chuckled and glanced down at Stephanie as she let out a grumpy sound. "You can be too. I’ll just start collecting women."
I grabbed Stephanie playfully and pulled her toward the door. "And on that note, we're going to dinner alone. You guys have fun."
"What? I got an invite!" Parks laughed loudly as we walked away.
"Elizabeth. You know I wanted him to come with us." Stephanie glanced up at me as we walked toward the parking lot. I'd taken the train into Manhattan, but I knew Steph well enough to know that she drove.
"I know that, but I need some time with you. Just me and you. That okay?" I released her and nodded toward her car. "Give me the keys, and I'll drive."
"Yeah, of course it's okay." She pulled her keys out and handed them to me. "I just keep thinking this guy is going to fucking notice me. It's so frustrating."
"He will. I'm not interested in him, Steph. You know that." I took a deep breath and got in the car, almost grateful for the silly drama that Parks kept causing between me and my best friend. It was easier than focusing on my recent transaction to play whore to my mentor.
What the hell was I thinking?
"Let's go to the sandwich shop a few blocks over. Dartin's Deli. They have a new roast beef on rye that everyone is talking about." She buckled up and glanced at the clock. "I have an hour before I have to be back."
"Aww... really? I was hoping you were off for the rest of the night." I pulled out of the parking lot and tried hard not to think about Aiden, but it was almost impossible.