by Laura Lee
RILEY
DEVYN IS EYEING THE empty bottles of liquor in my kitchen. What gives her the right to judge me for having a rough night when she’s been hiding my son from me? For almost five years! What possible reason could she have for doing something so fucking selfish?
I still haven’t said a word at this point and I can tell that it’s making her nervous. Good.
She nods towards the couch. “Do you mind if I take a seat for this?”
I cross my arms. “By all means, make yourself comfortable.”
She winces. Probably from the tone in my voice that says I want her to be anything but comfortable right now. Remaining completely silent, I continue staring her down.
She slinks down into the cushions and sighs. “Please say something.”
“I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear what I’m thinking right now,” I scoff. “It’s probably better if you start.”
“Ugh, I really should’ve grabbed a coffee first,” she groans.
I storm over to her and shove my cup from the coffee house into her hand. I’m towering over her right now and I’m irritated at how badly I want to take her into my arms. I angrily step back and sit on a barstool across the room.
“Talk, Devyn.”
RILEY
SHE TAKES A SIP of my coffee. “You still drink mochas, huh?”
I scrub my hand over my stubbled jaw. “I wasn’t talking about the fucking coffee, Devyn. Help me understand why in the hell you thought it would be a good idea to hide the fact that we have a child together.”
She takes a deep breath. “I called you as soon as I found out. You were too busy plying some girl with drinks to answer.”
I think about that for a minute. Oh hell, she must be talking about the time that annoying girl answered my phone in Boston. “Jesus, Devyn. One phone call? You didn’t think something like this was important enough to try again?”
She juts her chin out and glares at me. Fucking glares! “Not one phone call, Riley. Twelve! Eleven phone calls and countless text messages after our night in the hotel. And another attempt almost two years later but you had changed your phone number. It was pretty clear you had no interest in speaking with me.”
I run my hand over my head. “That’s what this is about? I was a stupid kid! You should have tried harder.”
She stands up and flings her arms out, spraying coffee all over the hardwood floors. “That’s my point, Riley! I was having a kid! I didn’t have the luxury of indulging a grown man who couldn’t pull his head out of his ass and see what was right in front of him! I didn’t have time to try harder! I had seven months to figure out a new plan in life. It wasn’t just me anymore. I had another human being that I was going to be responsible for. I needed to focus on that, not trying to make you talk to me.”
“You still should have told me,” I grumble.
She sits back down and hangs her head in her hands. “Yeah, maybe I should have. But I was scared. And heartbroken. And hormonal. That’s not exactly a good recipe for rational thought.”
One word sticks out. “Heartbroken?”
She lifts her head and rolls her eyes. “Oh please, Rye. Are you really going to make me say it?”
I walk towards her and sit on the edge of the coffee table. She shivers when our knees touch. “Say what?”
She stares at her hands. “That night…it meant something to me. I know that wasn’t part of the deal, but I know you felt it too. For whatever reason, you obviously weren’t willing to acknowledge it and that hurt. After everything we’d been through…we knew each other better than anyone, yet you chose to run. It hurt.”
Every bit of anger I had inside of me melts. I lift her chin with my finger. “I was a coward.”
She laughs mirthlessly. “You think?”
Tears are forming in her eyes and it’s killing me. I lean in closer. “Devyn, I—”
Her phone rings, startling us both. She pulls it out of her purse and I can see that the asshole from last night is calling.
She scoots away from me and slides her finger across the screen to answer. “Hi.” She turns her head away as she listens to whatever the fuck he’s saying. She lowers her voice. “No, there’s been a slight change in plans.”
I tune out their conversation as I feel my face getting red. I know I have no right to be jealous but that doesn’t stop me from feeling it. I can’t stop thinking about the smug look on his face when he took her in his arm and walked away. He said he was taking her home which implies familiarity. I don’t like it. Not one bit.
Devyn glances at me over her shoulder. “Mmm hmm. You too. Bye, Jackson.”
You too? Did she just tell him that she loved him? Oh Christ, this situation is shittier than I thought.
DEVYN
THANK GOD JACKSON CALLED when he did. I’m pretty sure Riley was about to kiss me. And I honestly don’t know how I would’ve responded to that. Hearing Jackson’s voice helped bring me back into the present. Riley is my past. I simply got caught up in my emotions talking about it with him.
“Riley, I have to get going.”
He frowns. “Back to Jackson?”
I bite my lip. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. I need to get home to Nathan.”
“What’s the story with you and that guy?”
“Jackson?”
“No, the fucking Dalai Lama.”
I glare. “You don’t need to be so rude.”
“Answer the question, Dev.”
“I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Of course it’s my business!” he shouts. “If this guy is going to be spending time around my son, I have the right to know.”
I clench my fists. “He’s been spending time with our son for over two years! Are you saying you don’t trust my judgment?”
He stiffens. “Give me your phone.”
What? Is he going to call Jackson? “No.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, Devyn. I want to program my number into it.”
I hand it to him hesitantly. I watch as he opens the text window and types something real quick before hitting send. His phone beeps a second later.
He pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the display. “There. Now we both know how to reach each other. And for the record, I changed my number when I moved to Georgia. I had planned on settling there and wanted a local number. It had nothing to do with running away.”
“You lived in Georgia? When?”
“After grad school,” he replies. “I took a job in Savannah designing private aircrafts.”
“Oh,” I whisper. “Then why are you in Seattle?”
He gulps. “That’s a story for another day. You need to get home, remember?”
I stand and walk to the door. “Yeah, I do.”
He follows me and opens the door. As I step into the hallway he says, “Dev, we’ll figure this out, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
I nod. “Okay.”
RILEY
SHE’S BEEN WITH HIM for over two years? Shit. This definitely throws a wrench in my get Devyn back plans. Drew said she’s not living with him so they’re obviously not that serious, but still. I grit my teeth when I think about where she spent the night last night. Now I really don’t like the guy. I need to figure out exactly where they stand so I can plan my next move. I may have been a total man slut back in the day but I would never condone cheating. I’ve always thought that if you’re unhappy enough to even think about cheating, you need to figure your shit out or leave the relationship. Besides, I wouldn’t dream of sharing Devyn once I finally had her. No fucking way.
I pick up my phone and dial Brody as something comes to mind.
“Hey, asshole! Are you done unpacking yet?”
“Almost,” I say. “I still have to hang photos and shit but other than that, I’m done. Are you planning to watch the games tomorrow?”
“Do you have to ask? What’s up? You wanna hang?”
/>
“My satellite isn’t hooked up yet so I was hoping I could tag along with you. Maybe you could see what Drew and his sister are up to and ask them to join us?”
Brody laughs. “Ah, I get it now. Well, lucky for you my plans happen to include hanging out at Drew’s house. I’m sure he won’t mind an extra guest. The hot sister should be there for your viewing pleasure.”
“What? I don’t want to see the sister! I’m just looking for a place to watch football.”
“Right, buddy. Are you in, or what?”
I smile. “Yeah, I’m definitely in.”
DEVYN
I’M JUST ABOUT TO walk out the door when Drew says, “Hey, a couple of the guys are coming over to hang for the games. They should be here in about an hour. Will you grab some extra chips and beer while you’re at the store?”
I freeze with my hand on the doorknob. “Which couple of guys?”
“My friend Brody and that guy you knew in college.”
“Riley?” I shriek.
“Yeah. Why? Is that not okay? I know he was kind of a dick but he promised me he’d behave next time he saw you.”
I look down at the faded sweatpants and threadbare 49ers t-shirt I’m wearing. “Drew! Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We can’t have people over when I look like this! I don’t have time to get ready and shop for groceries!”
He gives me a fleeting glance. “Who cares what you’re wearing?”
I groan and look down the hall to make sure Nathan is still playing in his room. “Drew, there’s something you need to know about Riley.”
“What?”
I blow a hair out of my face. “Well, there’s no good way to say it. Other than to come straight out with it I guess.”
He scrunches his face. “What the fuck are you rambling about?”
I take a deep breath and exhale. “Riley is Voldemort.”
“What does Harry Potter have to do with this? You’re not making any sense.”
I roll my eyes. “Think about that for a second. Riley is he who must not be named.” I give him a few seconds but he still looks lost. “Oh God, fine! Riley is Nathan’s father. Is that clear enough?”
“What.The.Fuck. Are you shitting me right now?” he bellows.
“Keep your voice down!” I whisper-shout. “Nathan doesn’t know yet. And I just told Riley yesterday.”
“Yesterday? You saw him? Where? And what do you mean you just told him yesterday? I thought he walked when he found out you were pregnant!”
“At the coffee shop across from Jackson’s house. He and Riley apparently live in the same building. And I didn’t exactly get the chance to tell him I was pregnant. We never even dated. We were friends…and we hooked up one night. He didn’t know I ever had a child until you told him.”
Drew laughs. “Oh, this is fucking priceless. Does Jackson know?”
“Yes, Jackson knows. Well, about the paternity thing. Not that they both live at the Marselle.”
“So what the hell are you going to do? Am I supposed to pretend I don’t know?”
“No, you don’t need to pretend. Lorraine knows too. Just don’t be open about it with everyone until we’ve figured out how to tell Nathan. I just need a little time.”
Drew stands up and grabs his keys off the kitchen counter. “Go do whatever girly shit you need to do. I’ll go to the store.”
I smile and kiss him on the cheek. “Have I told you lately that you’re the best big brother ever?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters.
RILEY
I’M SITTING AGAINST THE curb in front of Devyn’s building waiting for Brody to get here. I pull up my text messages and smile while reading the one that I sent from her phone to mine.
Devyn: My memory didn’t do your hotness justice. The real thing is SO much better.
It was my attempt at lightening the mood. I was pissed and reacted poorly when I found out about Nathan. I felt a reminder of how playful we could be together was in order. Did Drew tell her I was coming over? I don’t want her to be blindsided so I type a quick message.
Me: Hey, did Drew give you the heads up that you’re having company for the game today? And by company, I mean ME and Brody. Are you okay with that?
I wait for her reply.
Devyn: He did tell me.
That’s it? Really? I’m staring at my screen, waiting for that little bubble to pop up indicating she was typing something else. Hmm.
I start typing again when nothing comes.
Me: And? Are you okay with that?
The typing bubble is there but no message comes. I wait for three minutes. She’s either writing a novel or is thinking about her reply very carefully. I’d bet on the latter. Finally, she hits send.
Devyn: Yes I’m okay with that. Nathan is here though. We need to tread lightly until we have a chance to discuss how to tell him. Agree?
I smile, thankful she doesn’t tell me to turn around and go home.
Me: Agreed.
I look at the time and realize Brody is late. I don’t want to wait anymore; I’m anxious to see my girl. And my boy.
I send one last message.
Me: I’m in front of your building. Brody isn’t here yet but I’d like to come up if that’s okay.
Devyn: Okay.
She doesn’t need to tell me twice. I get out of my car and run up to her front door.
DEVYN
I’M STARING AT RILEY’S text trying not to show my anxiety. I scroll up and read through our conversation. I laugh when I read his first message while we were exchanging phone numbers. I didn’t catch it before.
“What’s so funny, Momma?” Nathan asks.
I lock my phone and place it on the end table. “Oh, nothing, baby. I just read something funny.”
Drew looks at me suspiciously but doesn’t say anything. The buzzer sounds, indicating Riley’s arrival. Drew gets up from the couch to answer it. “Yeah?”
“Hi, it’s Riley.”
Drew buzzes him in and gives me a look that says, Are you ready for this?
I nod in silent acknowledgment.
RILEY
I KNOCK ON THE door, trying not to reveal how anxious I am. The door opens a crack and Drew fills the space. Why does he look so homicidal?
“Oh, hey, Dr—”
Drew flattens his palm on my chest and walks me backwards, shutting the door behind him. He doesn’t stop until I’m against the wall.
He takes a half step back but still looks like he’s going to kill me. “Listen, asshole. Devyn told me who you are. Who you really are.”
I hold my hands up. “Did she also tell you that I didn’t know? I would’ve never stayed away if I knew she was pregnant.”
He runs a hand through his hair and starts pacing. “Yeah, she told me that part too. But the fact remains that you broke her. She was one of the strongest people I knew ever since she was a little girl. When our mom got sick—when she died—Devyn was only ten years old but she somehow became the glue that held our family together. And when our dad followed, she was still rock solid and stoic as ever.
“When you…when she became pregnant with Nathan…she became a shell of her former self. Sure, she put on a brave face, but when she didn’t think I was looking, I saw how devastated she was. It took her years before she slowly started coming back to life. And I may not exactly like the guy she’s with now, but he’s good to her and he’s good to the kid. If she chooses to stay with him, you stay the fuck out of the way. You will not cause her any more grief or you’ll be answering to me.” He takes a fist full of my shirt and leans into me. “Capiche?”
I gulp. “Yep.”
DEVYN
I’M PLAYING WITH THE hem of my t-shirt waiting for Drew and Riley to come through the door. What the heck is going on out there? Drew’s an extraordinarily big guy; therefore, he intimidates people pretty easily if you don’t know what a teddy bear he is. He’s probably using that to his advantage right now and playing the big brother card, try
ing to scare the crap out of Riley.
“Where’d Unca’ Drew go?” Nathan asks.
I get up from the couch and start walking towards the door. “He just stepped into the hall for a second, buddy. I’ll go get him.”
I open the door and peek my head out. Riley is standing against the wall and Drew is directly in front of him puffing his chest out. Yep, he’s definitely doing the don’t you dare hurt my sister or I’ll break your face crap.
Drew sees me, takes a step back, and smiles. “Hey, sis! Riley and I were just having a little guy talk.”
“Uh huh,” I mutter.
Riley looks my way and smiles. “Hi.”
I return his grin. “Hi.”
Drew looks between us and rolls his eyes. “Uh, yeah. I’m going inside.” He looks to me. “You coming?”
I look at Riley. “We’ll be there in a minute. Distract Nate for me?”
Drew scowls and steps past me. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget what I said, Riley.”
I wait for the door to close before speaking. “Was he giving you the big brother speech?”
Riley grimaces. “You could say that.” He gives me a good once over and his eyes light up. Stepping forward, he grabs the hem of my shirt and says, “You still have it.”
I shiver when the tip of his finger brushes against my bare skin. “It’s my lucky shirt. They win every time I wear it.”
He smiles. “So I’ve heard.”
I’d kept my old 49ers shirt on but exchanged my baggy sweatpants for a more flattering pair of yoga capris. I wasn’t going to dress up since we’re just watching football but I don’t want to look scrappy if anyone comes over. My only real concession is a bit of pink lip gloss.
He continues running his finger against the seam, staring at the sliver of skin he’s exposed. I know I should probably step out of his reach but my feet are rooted firmly in place.
He clears his throat. “So, Nathan’s in there?”
I nod. “He is.”
He scrunches his face. “Is Jackson in there?”
“No, Jackson isn’t really a sports fan.”
Riley looks perplexed. “How is that even possible?”