Tyler gave them a shove from behind, and they were off down the hill.
Nancy screeched and laughed at the same time. “You wicked man!”
“No sense debating all day,” he said, wrapping his arms around her as the sled picked up speed.
“I hope you know how to steer this thing.”
“Me, too!” On the first slight curve, he leaned into the curve and drew his knees in tight to keep Nancy from sliding sideways off the sled. He snugged his arms around her waist and pulled her close. She was so tiny! His heart pounded from the excitement of the ride and the feeling of holding Nancy in his arms. “Hold on, darling, we’re in for it now.”
Laughing, she grabbed hold of his arms. “Don’t you dare let us crash, Dawson Crane. These old bones will break into a million pieces.”
“It would help considerably to know where the brake is on this thing,” he said, his voice shaking from the pounding they were taking as the wooden sled pounded over drifts and lumps of snow and frozen tree roots.
“The brake is the bottom of your boot heels!”
“Good Lord!”
Her laughter echoed down the gorge as her family looked on from above, and some of them from below where they were finishing their own wild run.
“I’ll do my best to keep us from becoming a pile of bones,” he shouted. The gully was so deep it felt as if they were sledding down the inside of a huge pipe. The sled traveled up one wall and drifted back down to center, only to zip up the other wall with the next curve. Back and forth they went, sweeping up the walls of the snowy channel as they raced downhill.
Nancy squeezed Dawson’s arms around her and begged him to use the brake. But Dawson feared pulling the brake lever would snap the thing in two, and if he laid a boot heel to the hard packed snow it would launch him right off the sled, taking Nancy with him. So he remained tucked in, arms and knees holding Nancy in place as the wind whistled past their ears.
Despite the fearful rush, it was also exhilarating and sent them both into hysterical laughter—the kind that one releases when torn between delight and sheer terror.
As they neared the bottom, the hill began to level out and their speed began to slow. Dawson released Nancy’s waist with his right hand and pulled the brake lever, bringing the toboggan to a slow, shuddering stop at the bottom of the hill.
“I have delivered you unbroken, milady,” he declared with a flourish of his gloved hand.
Nancy rolled off the sled onto her knees where she gulped a breath. “I am eternally grateful for that kindness.”
Laughing, he pushed up to his feet and extended his hand to pull her to her feet. She fell against his chest and gazed into his eyes, her own filled with laughter. “That was wildly invigorating, wasn’t it?”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight. “I haven’t had this much fun since I was a boy shimmying mast poles in the shipyard with my brothers,” Dawson said. “We were terrifyingly careless in our play.”
“I think you still are a reckless boy.”
He felt reckless. He lowered his gaze to her lips, longing to kiss her, but the shrieks of laughter coming from her grandchildren reminded him that they weren’t alone.
Together they turned to look uphill where Nancy’s sons were giving the younger children rides on the toboggan.
“I’m not sure I have it in me to head back up the hill. You may need to drag me back up on the sled,” she said.
“Don’t you worry, sweetheart. I can make the climb, and I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” He squeezed her hand one more time and then turned to grab the rope of the toboggan. Together, they headed back up the hill.
The return trip up the hill was slow and they stopped often to catch their breath and to watch the others race down the hill. Dawson found himself good and winded by the time they reached the top. His leg ached from the cold, but he felt stronger than he’d felt in years.
He turned to Nancy who looked equally winded but happy. Passing the toboggan rope to Adam, he gestured for him and Rebecca to go ahead and take a turn.
Adam and Rebecca shared a curious glance, and then they smiled.
“I won’t be riding today,” Rebecca said.
“Are you unwell?” Nancy asked with concern. “Have you had a setback? Do we need to head back to the house?”
Rebecca leaned in and whispered, “I’m sorry, Grandma, I didn’t mean to alarm you. I’m not riding today because I’m expecting your first great grandchild.”
The look on Nancy’s face changed from one of concern to sheer joy as the words Rebecca spoke sank in.
“Oh, sweetheart…” She clasped hands with Rebecca. “What wonderful news!” she said. And Dawson could see that Nancy meant every word. She was delighted by Rebecca’s pregnancy and that she would have another baby to love.
“We haven’t told anyone other than my father and mother. We’ll tell everyone else after Christmas.”
“Of course. I can hardly believe you’re old enough to have your own children,” Nancy said, a bit of melancholy in her eyes. “I can’t wait to be a great-grandmother and hold your little bundle in my arms.” She pulled Rebecca and Adam into her arms and gave them a firm hug. “I have so much to ask you two, but I’ll wait until you make your announcement to the others.” With that, she stepped back and made way for Dawson to quietly offer his congratulations to his two neighbors who had become friends, and perhaps soon, if he had anything to say about it, would become family.
Her first great-grandchild! Nancy couldn’t stop the smile that broke across her face as she thought about that. Rebecca’s comment this morning now made sense. She planned to put a lock of their baby’s hair in her new locket.
Nancy imagined the blankets and sweaters she would knit for the newest member of the Grayson family. Gracious. Another generation of Graysons. Hal would be so proud. Her smile faltered as she realized this was another milestone in her life that Hal wasn’t here to share.
And then she looked at her arm linked with Dawson’s. She felt guilty that she thought of Hal while on Dawson’s arm. What was she doing? She couldn’t do this thing with Dawson, could she? Did she have room in her life for both men?
And what of her promise to Hal?
Each time these thoughts circled her mind they spun her heart sideways. What was she to do? There simply wasn’t an acceptable answer.
She and Dawson reached the house where everyone was making their way inside. Dawson surprised her by scooping six-year-old Sarah, Radford’s daughter, up in his arms and carrying her inside. “We’d better get to the table before all those boys gobble up everything and leave us nothing but crumbs.” Dawson tweaked Sarah’s side, making her squeal with laughter.
Seeing him with Sarah perched on his arm was both sweet and heartbreaking. Dawson would make a great father. And here was Nancy about to become a great-grandmother. Dawson wasn’t a young man, but he could marry a woman who could give him children. He had come so far in the last few months. He deserved the chance to have a full life.
That thought circled Nancy’s mind relentlessly throughout their Christmas supper, and it would have been her companion on their walk home except that she noticed Dawson’s limp becoming more pronounced with each step they took.
“Did you hurt your leg when we were sledding?” she asked, deeply concerned by the pinched look on his face.
“I think it’s just aching from getting too cold earlier. It has me wishing I’d have brought along my cane, though.”
Nancy gripped his arm more firmly and playfully snuggled into his side. “I’ll keep you upright, Dawson. Just lean on me.”
“There are so many reasons I’m going to accept your offer that I can’t begin to explain them all,” he said, gazing down at her with eyes so blue and filled with such warmth it ignited a blaze in her abdomen. “For now, I’ll just say that I like leaning on you.”
She laughed. “Well, if you think this is nice just wait until I treat your leg when
we get home. Your other leg will be jealous.”
“I can hardly wait,” he said, laughter rich in his voice.
“I’ve missed bantering with you,” she said, slowing their pace. “That’s one of the things I’ve missed most about being away from you. Each time I received one of your letters filled with wonderful, witty conversation and hilarious stories, I’d savor it for days.”
“I believe my letters were also filled with words of love and heartfelt promises,” he added.
“Indeed, and to such a degree I felt my face heat each time I would read those words. You’ve filled my mind with dreams of such grand adventures that it’s difficult to bring my mind back to my common life when I’m forced to set aside your letters.”
“Those promises are real, Nancy. My letters aren’t meant for you to live those adventures vicariously. They’re meant to inspire you to step outside and play again, to cast off your old ideas and dance again—to dance with me.”
“I wish it were that easy, Dawson.”
“It is. Just say yes.”
She sighed as they walked up her driveway.
“You could at least start by telling your family that I proposed to you, that we are more than friends, which, quite frankly, I believe they already know.”
“Our relationship is our business, Dawson. I see no need to share the details with my children.”
“That might present a problem if you should say yes to my proposal. But then again, if your plan is to reject me, keeping our relationship private will require less explanation when I leave without you. Is that your plan?” he asked, his voice quiet.
Nancy stopped at the bottom step and faced him. “Honestly, Dawson, I truly don’t know. And standing here in the cold debating something I’ve already turned over in my mind a hundred times with no clear answer is… it’s senseless. Let’s go inside so I can tend to your leg. That at least will be of benefit to both of us.”
“My leg is in full agreement,” he said, tipping her a wry smile.
He was stepping back and letting the conversation rest for the moment, for which she was deeply grateful.
“You know why I think this decision is so difficult for you,” he asked, sweeping away her momentary relief.
There was no good response other than a shrug.
“I think you’re afraid I won’t write you anymore letters.”
A huff of laughter burst from her mouth. “There’s a good bit of truth in that statement, Dawson. I value those letters quite highly, you know.”
And so it went, the two of them exchanging playful banter as they entered the house and set about easing the pain in Dawson’s leg. He stoked the fire and settled in beside the toasty blaze while Nancy fetched hot tea. She returned to the parlor and set a small pan filled with field corn on top of glowing orange embers in the fireplace.
“Are you popping corn without a lid?” he asked, his eyebrows peaked.
“No,” she said with a laugh. “This corn won’t pop. I’m heating it for a couple of minutes so I can fill this bag and place it on your leg. A hot corn bag works better than a hot water bottle.”
“I’ve never heard of such a thing,” he said, eyeing the corn. He watched with interest as Nancy poured the corn into a bag and closed the drawstring top.
“There,” she said. “Perfectly warm. Place this on your leg where it aches the most while fetch some balm that Faith made.”
Instead of placing the bag on his leg, Dawson turned it in his hands as if amazed by the simple idea.
“It works better if it’s actually on your leg,” she said, heading toward the bathroom.
When she returned, Dawson was leaning back in his chair with his feet propped on the low parlor table and the corn bag draped across the top side of his knee. “This feels wonderful.”
“Told you that you’d like it.”
“Well, you were right. And you were also right that my other leg is jealous.”
Nancy laughed. “I haven’t even begun yet.”
Dawson’s eyes closed and he grinned. “I can hardly wait. I’m all yours, darling.”
A naughty little thrill zipped through Nancy’s belly. But she couldn’t help herself. Hearing a man like Dawson, so wealthy, powerful, and handsome, professing to be all hers was a little heady. Knowing she was about to touch him intimately made her heart pound.
“I’ll need to lift your pants leg so I can apply this balm,” she said.
Dawson cracked open one eye and looked at her. “Do you need my permission or my help?”
She shook her head. “I can manage, if you don’t mind the breach of etiquette.”
His hoot of laughter filled the parlor. “If you even need to ask that question you don’t know me at all.”
“Point made,” she said, kneeling on the floor and placing the jar of balm beside her knee. “Prepare to be accosted, Mr. Crane.”
Amidst their laughter, Nancy pushed his pants leg high above his knee—and she froze, her heart cramping with compassion. “Oh, Dawson, this must be incredibly painful,” she whispered, her eyes taking in the massive scarring up his shin and the side of his knee. His lower leg was a mess of sinew and craters and lumpy scar tissue. “How did this happen?”
“When I fell at the shipyard I landed in a pile of scrap metal and wood debris. My leg took the brunt of the fall, and my head absorbed the rest. It looks worse than it feels,” he added, but she wasn’t so sure he was being completely truthful.
“I had no idea, Dawson. I’m so sorry I’ve been walking you around Fredonia like a work horse when my son has a stable full of horses and carriages at our disposal.”
He reached down and clasped her hand. “I wouldn’t have wanted that had you offered, Nancy. You can’t know how good it feels to be back on my feet again. I like walking. A lot. I rarely take a carriage anywhere in Crane Landing. You know that. So there’s absolutely no need for your concern. Today is just a bad day for my leg. I have those days occasionally. It’s nothing to be concerned about. After resting it tonight it will be good as new tomorrow.”
“If you say so,” Nancy said, her eyes shifting between Dawson’s handsome face and his horribly scarred leg. “Will it cause you more pain if I rub some balm into your leg?”
“It will be absolute heaven.”
Nancy wasn’t so sure, so she applied the first palm full of balm with extreme gentleness. “Is this pressure too much?” she asked.
“It feels great. You’re not going to hurt me, Nancy. It actually feels good when you massage the balm in with some pressure. But you don’t need to do this. I know my leg is a ghastly sight. I can rub it in myself.”
“I’m not put off by the sight of your leg, Dawson, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”
“It was.” He angled a wry grin at her. “I hadn’t meant to let you see my leg until after you’d married me and it was too late for you to escape.”
She laughed. “Too late. I’ve already added it to my mental checklist of reasons not to marry you.” She was making light of their conversation, but even joking about his injury couldn’t alleviate the sympathy she felt for what he must have suffered. “I can’t imagine the pain you must have been in when this happened.”
“Being in a coma helped considerably, and by the time I woke up the resulting headaches tended to take my mind off my leg.”
“That must have been such a difficult time for you.” As she smoothed her warm palms over his calf and up and around his knee, she felt him relax and sink further into the cushioned wingback chair. “What were you like before the accident?” she asked. “You have a wonderful sense of humor. Were you as funny then as you are now?”
He laughed. “My brothers claim they could barely tolerate me when I started telling stories and joking. But I suspect I’m much the same as before, just tempered by age and injury.”
“I like your witty repartee and storytelling.” Nancy sat back on her heels and met his eyes. “I could listen to you for hours and remain thoroughly
captivated.”
He lifted his hand, palm up, and cupped her chin. “I’m captivated every time I look at you,” he said.
Chapter Eleven
December 26, 1890
Dawson and Adam were setting up to play cards in the parlor. After such a hectic past couple of days, Nancy knew Dawson was looking forward to some quiet time. She, too, was excited to have a relaxing day. The holidays were always exhausting for her – living alone had made her comfortable with the quiet, and time spent with her family, as much as she enjoyed it, was exhausting.
As the men settled into the parlor with their cards, Nancy drew Rebecca into her bedroom.
She squatted down in front of the cedar trunk at the foot of her bed and ran her hand over its carved lid. All of her treasured possessions were stored in this chest that Hal had made for her. “I have something I want to give you, Rebecca.”
Nancy dug deep into the chest, pulling out items and setting them aside until she found what she was looking for. She placed the bundle on the bed and gently pulled open the blue silk ribbon tie and unfolded a white linen. Inside was a tiny white gown. She lifted it up and held it out for Rebecca to see. “This was the christening gown that each of my boys wore. I tucked it away after Boyd was christened. I’d forgotten about it until I realized you would tuck a piece of your baby’s hair inside the locket Adam gave you for Christmas. It reminded me of my first child and the christening gown. I’d like my first great-grandchild to wear it.”
Rebecca’s eyes filled with wonder as she accepted the gown. “Grandma, it’s so beautiful… and so tiny. It seems impossible that Daddy once wore this gown. I can’t believe he was ever so little.”
Tears filled Nancy’s eyes as she thought about her boys being small enough to be held in her arms, to be rocked on shoulder and snuggled between herself and Hal when they were a healthy family. The memory was bittersweet, and yet it was Dawson’s image that filled her mind. He had no idea what he was missing. He should have the chance to experience the happiness of having his own children.
Chances Are Page 13