“Adam and I have been discussing names,” Rebecca said, pulling Nancy’s thoughts away from her memories of Hal and her concern for Dawson. “Adam is sure we’ll have a boy, of course. And since he’ll carry the Grayson name because Uncle Duke adopted Adam, we thought we might name our son Finn and give him the middle name of Steven, after Adam’s biological father. This way we can honor both men Adam calls father.”
For a moment Nancy’s throat was too thick with emotion to respond, so she pulled Rebecca into a hug. “That’s just like Adam, wanting to honor his family,” Nancy finally said, “but what if you have a girl?”
“According to Adam that’s not a possibility,” Rebecca said easing back with a laugh as they released each other. “I’ll be happy to have an uneventful pregnancy, a short delivery, and a healthy baby. I look at my mother, and my aunts, and even you, and I see all the children you’ve delivered and I know I can do this even if it scares me a little.”
“You’re one of the strongest woman I know, Rebecca. You survived that horrible accident and came out on the other side even stronger. You’ve known what you’ve wanted since you were a girl, and you’ve finally married that young man. And now the two of you are going to have a child together. I have no doubt that you have the strength to make it through this pregnancy and labor, especially because you’ll have Adam right there beside you each step of the way.”
“Thank you, Grandma. I guess I just needed to be reminded of that today. I’m always most doubtful when I’m tired. This holiday seems to be taking a toll on me. I think I’ll take a nap before Adam and I head out to have supper. Thank you so much for sharing the christening gown with me. I’ll treasure it and pass it on to my own grandchildren.”
“Gracious, don’t even talk about grandchildren,” Nancy said with a gasp. “I already feel older than dirt.”
Rebecca’s warm laughter filled the bedroom. “Grandma, you’ll never be old. No matter what your age you’ll be beautiful and effervescent and someone I deeply admire and love.” With that Rebecca gave Nancy a warm hug and went to take her nap.
Alone with her thoughts and her memories, Nancy sat on the edge of the bed and thought about her life, the memories of her children being born here in this very room. Nancy cared for her ailing husband and watched him die in this room. And within these four walls, she’d grieved his death. Her children and grandchildren had slept with her in this bed, and now she was passing on a christening gown to her grown granddaughter who would begin her own journey of raising a family.
Time was passing quickly and everything around her was shifting like sand beneath her feet. It left her slightly unbalanced and uncertain, a feeling that was new to her. For decades she’d been like the old barn, standing solidly on firm earth, weathering the storms and protecting her family. But as if the doors had been blown open, her children were slipping outside and scattering with the wind in all directions. She remained clinging to her foundation, weather-beaten and weakened by years of standing strong in the face of every hard wind. But the thing that bothered her most was the knowledge that her children would one day have to tend her like a dilapidated old barn. She couldn’t burden them with that chore.
Dawson was offering her a chance to change things. Instead of hunkering down like an old barn she could choose to live her life as sailing vessel moving between ports.
The thought was exhilarating—and terrifying.
It wasn’t that the idea didn’t appeal to her, or that she couldn’t see herself living the sort of life where she traveled to visit her babies. It was a simpler concern of being married again that scared her. What if she didn’t know how to be a wife anymore? What if she’d grown too accustomed to living alone? It would be safer to leave things the way they were; her here with her easy, comfortable life in Fredonia, and him in Crane Landing. But he wouldn’t just be in Crane Landing writing her letters and planning his next visit. He would possibly be finding himself a wife and creating a family of his own.
And round went her thoughts, circling her mind until she flopped back on her bed, dizzy with anxiety.
After a long while she pulled herself together and headed to the kitchen to begin supper. She wrapped a blue flowered apron around her waist and then washed her hands. She dressed a large chicken and stuffed it with onions before putting it in the oven to roast. As she closed the oven door, Dawson entered the kitchen, still limping, although not nearly as bad as he’d been yesterday evening.
“Would you like some tea or cider?” she asked.
“I’d actually like a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows over the sound beating Adam gave me during our game,” he joked.
Laughing, Nancy went to the sideboard and began preparing cornbread. When Dawson tied one of her aprons around his waist, she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as he sidled up beside her—this big, strong man with his rolled-up sleeves and muscular arms, wearing her pretty red and brown checked apron around his waist.
“Dawson, what on earth are you doing?”
“I’m helping you make supper,” he said, as if it was the most natural thing for him to work in the kitchen with her. “This gives me an excuse to be close to you. I missed you today.”
“I was here in the house all day,” she responded.
“But you were in your room and I was in the parlor with Adam. We might as well have been down the road from each other. Would I be a terrible person if I said I’m glad they decided to head out to supper tonight?” he asked, using the same words Nancy herself had spoken on the way home from Radford’s house after having a noisy supper with her family.
“Yes, it would,” she said with a laugh, “but I’ll forgive you. I don’t mind having a quiet evening myself.”
“It’s about time we had some time alone, don’t you think?” he asked.
Guilt filled her because she knew she’d been intentionally hiding behind her family. She’d filled their days with family events to avoid being alone with him—because he was too tempting and she didn’t trust herself. She could see so many emotions in Dawson’s eyes as he gazed at her. Happiness, hope, desire. He let everything he was feeling show as he looked at her. And yet, she continued to hide.
“Let me help you make up your mind,” he whispered. Nancy’s heartbeat skipped as he lowered his forehead to hers and said quietly, “I will give you the world, if you’ll let me.”
In that moment she wanted to welcome all he had to give—of himself. She didn’t need anything more than she already had. But more and more she was finding it hard to imagine a life without him in it. Unable to help herself, she lifted her chin and pressed her lips to his. The feel of his arms slipping around her, and his mouth taking gentle possession of her own, swept her up and carried her off like debris in an ocean of feeling. Excitement rolled and tumbled in her chest, spreading out like a wave across a shore, until it consumed her.
Her mixing spoon fell to the floor, the cornbread forgotten as she placed her hands flat on his broad back and pulled him close. His teeth nibbled her bottom lip and caressed her cheek and her temple, and then his mouth dipped to her neck. Her breath caught and she moaned with pleasure as his hands slid down her back. To be held in his arms, to be touched by this dashing man, shook her core. She remembered this passion, like a hot spiced liquor in her youth, now aged into a smooth, fine wine—and she was still addicted to the exhilarating effect.
She was addicted to Dawson. To his sense of humor and ability to make her laugh. To his dashing good looks and his gentlemanly manner. To his witty intelligence and expanded view of the world. To his sense of adventure and promise that they would have their own escapades.
She wanted all he offered. Every laugh, every adventure, every spark of passion.
Dawson made her feel wonderfully, vibrantly alive again.
With a groan, he eased back and pressed his forehead to hers, his breathing ragged. “I simply cannot kiss you another second and remain a gentleman, Nancy.” Gently, he loosened his arms so
that their bodies barely touched. “Never in my life have I felt this.” He shook his head as if baffled by his own discovery. “Not once, Nancy. Although I’ve remained a bachelor, I’ve had my share of liaisons, but never have I experienced… this.”
She didn’t know what to say because she had felt this overwhelming attraction and emotional connection one other time in her life. She knew what it was—and she had promised to protect that love for the rest of her life. Heat blasted her face and she glanced at the floor where her stirring spoon lay.
“I hadn’t meant to do that,” Dawson said.
“Nor had I,” she whispered.
“Well, since we’re alone, what do you say we pretend, just for today, that we’re back in Crane Landing with no one to notice our improper behavior?” He playfully twitched an eyebrow.
Nancy couldn’t help but smile. She loved Dawson’s spirit. That’s what had attracted her to him the first time they met. And the idea of recreating their time in Crane Landing was intensely appealing.
“Come on, Nancy. We deserve this few hours to claim as our own.”
He was so convincing and his grin so charming that she couldn’t resist. Perhaps she could just let go of her haunting memories and nagging guilt for a few days and simply enjoy Dawson’s company while he was here. “As long as you won’t press me for an answer to your proposal until New Year’s Day, then I can turn my mind to the simple pleasure of enjoying your company,” she said.
“New Year’s Day it is. Until then we shall cast our cares to the wind and act as if we’re strolling the banks of Crane River.”
“Oh, Dawson, I already feel pounds lighter. Thank you.” She clasped his hands. “Let’s finish prepping supper and then take a walk out back. There’s something I’d like to show you.” She glanced down at his leg. “Can you manage a few steps through the snow?”
“Of course,” he said. “My cane will prop me up on one side and you can hold me up on the other.”
“Then let’s get to work.” Nancy stepped back and moved to the sideboard. “If you’d like to help, you can peel those potatoes while I finish the cornbread. The chicken is already in the oven.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Dawson gave her a mock salute, and he got to work.
Nancy began mixing cornmeal and butter in a bowl. “I pulled out the christening gown my boys had worn, and I passed it along to Rebecca. She and Adam are so happy about the baby.”
Dawson smiled at her. “I know. Rebecca was fairly dancing as she swept out of your room earlier. She showed Adam what you’d given her.”
“Rebecca was my first grandchild and it broke my heart when I realized I’d missed her first four years of life. Radford wasn’t living here when she was born, so I missed out on so many firsts with Rebecca. I don’t want to miss out on one moment with her first child, but I know I’m going to. If I stay here.”
“If you marry me you’ll have a home in both places and you can see all of your grandchildren whenever you wish,” he said, and then he released a mock gasp and clapped a hand over his mouth as if he’d just made a huge blunder. “I wasn’t supposed to mention my proposal, was I?”
Nancy’s laughter rang though the kitchen and she leaned into his arms. “You are such a rascal, Dawson Crane!”
They spent nearly two hours in the kitchen, bantering and joking with one another and thoroughly enjoying their time together. And Dawson wanted more. He wanted to show Nancy what she would be tossing away if she turned down his proposal.
“Let’s eat in the parlor tonight,” he said. “It’s just the two of us, so no need to restrict ourselves to a table and wooden chairs when we can enjoy cushioned chairs and wine beside the fire.”
“Ooh, I like the way you think, Dawson. It sounds lovely.”
While Nancy prepared chicken gravy in the kitchen, Dawson slipped into the parlor and set up the card table in front of the fireplace. At each end he placed a wingback chair for himself and Nancy. He shut off the lights and took two candles off the mantle and placed them on the table. After he lit them, they cast a nice glow over the table. The flickering flames from the fireplace made a cozy scene in the parlor that hoped Nancy would find both comfortable and romantic.
He returned to the kitchen where they each prepared their plates, and then he escorted Nancy into the parlor.
“Oh my goodness,” she exclaimed. “I didn’t realize this is what you were doing when you left the kitchen. It looks beautiful in here,” she exclaimed, her eyes filled with approval” I thought you’d gone to your bedroom for something.”
“I was in here conspiring on how best to romance you.”
She laughed. “Well, this is a wonderful start.”
Dawson took Nancy’s plate from her hands and then placed both of them on the table. With a smile on his face, he pulled out one of the wing chairs and gestured for her to sit. “After you, dear.”
“Well, thank you, sir.” Nancy tucked her skirts and sat.
While Dawson slid her chair toward the table, he leaned over her shoulder to whisper, “You look beautiful this evening.”
Nancy just shook her head as if he were hard of seeing. “I can only imagine how ravishing I look in my apron and day dress.”
“It’s enough to take my breath away,” he said, sitting opposite her. “Would you like a glass of wine.”
“Gracious, yes!”
Her exuberant response made him quirk his eyebrow up in question.
“I feel inclined to let my hair down a little this evening,” she said, her chin lifted in defiance. “I hope you won’t find that offensive.”
Dawson laughed outright. “Darling, nothing could please me more than to see you enjoying yourself.” With that, he lifted his glass and toasted her. “To you, darling. May that fiery spirit of yours always burn bright.”
They both sipped their wine, their eyes meeting over the rims of their glasses, that moment of intimate connection setting the mood throughout the meal.
He’d finally gotten an opportunity to spend some time alone with Nancy. He just didn’t want to ruin it. He wanted to keep the conversation steered in the right direction and not give Nancy any reason to refuse his proposal. Not tonight.
They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes.
“This is so nice, Dawson. Thank you so much for thinking of it,” Nancy said after a time.
“We had so many good conversations in Crane Landing, just you and me, whether it was on your porch or mine, and I’ve been missing that.”
“I’m sorry. I know it can be hectic around my family. It’s got to be a big change from what you’re used to at home.”
“I’ve loved every minute of it,” Dawson said. And he realized that he meant it. After all of these years spent alone, he’d loved spending time with Nancy and her family. “But I worry about you sometimes. When I got to know you in Crane Landing, you seemed a bit lighter, more relaxed. You seem different here, like you have more burdens on your heart.”
Dawson watched her ponder that comment for a moment. “I suppose in some ways I was more relaxed. I was in Crane Landing to tend Rebecca. That was the only thing on my mind – supporting my granddaughter and helping her heal. I knew our time there was temporary and that we would be coming back to Fredonia. As Rebecca healed, my time in Crane Landing began to feel a bit like a holiday, especially while spending time with you. As Rebecca became more independent and spent more time with Adam, I didn’t have to tend anyone but myself. I haven’t experienced that kind of life in over forty years. So it was new and fun, and I suppose I got a little carried away by that feeling… and by you. I was just making the most of an unexpected holiday.”
“And here I thought you were just happy and falling in love with Crane Landing… and with me.”
He waited for her to deny her feelings, to hide behind her family obligations and their friendship, but she surprised him by clasping his hand. “I was, Dawson. I won’t deny that Crane Landing was wonderfully romantic and that you were sw
eeping me off my feet. But I live here. My family is here.”
“And they’ve all made good lives for themselves here in Fredonia. I can see how difficult it would be for you to live away from them.”
He let his last statement hang in the air for a moment. He linked his fingers with hers and held her gaze. “I understood how important your family is to you. It’s apparent in in your every action, word, and deed that your family is the most important thing to you. They’re becoming important to me as well. I want you to know that I’d never ask you to choose between me and your family. You can have both. That’s all I’m going to say about this because I promised I wouldn’t mention… well, you know,” he said, giving her wink that made her smile. “But just to be clear, I know that being with you means becoming a part of your family, too. And I want that, and I’m prepared for whatever sacrifice is necessary to make this relationship work. So when we do talk about that thing we can’t talk about, just know that together we’ll find a way to make it work.”
But the time he finished, she was shaking her head and laughing. They sat quietly for a moment, just looking at each other while the candlelight danced in their eyes. While they ate, Dawson rubbed his left temple, cursing the ache that was beginning behind his eyes. Nancy would glance at him with concern, and he wondered what she was thinking, what she was feeling. What he felt for her was all consuming; if she was feeling even half of what he felt for her, he knew they could overcome any obstacle to their being together.
Nancy set her fork on her plate and said, “I’d meant to ask how you’re feeling after our wild ride down the hill yesterday.”
Dawson grinned, remembering how he and Nancy flew down the hill yesterday as if they were still Adam and Rebecca’s age. “I feel as if I’ve blown twenty years of dust off my shoulders.”
Nancy grinned. “Me, too. It was rather reckless of us, wasn’t it?”
Chances Are Page 14