Jesse: Merry Christmas, Cowboy

by Lynnette Kent

  “I’d be prickly,” Dusty said, “in his place.”

  “I guess you’re not talking about the fact that I won tonight,” Jesse growled.

  Dusty grinned at him. “I guess not. He’s no happier about this situation than you are, big brother.”

  “Why should he be unhappy? He just came into part of a fortune.”

  Will Jackson, Elly’s fiancé, leaned forward. “How about suddenly having four brothers who wish they’d never heard your name?”

  Walker held up a hand. “I’m not part of this fight. I’ve got all I need with Paula and Clay.”

  “Don’t look at me, either.” Dusty cut into his steak and savored a bite before continuing. “My screenplays are getting attention in Hollywood. I don’t have time for a family feud.”

  “Jesse’s the one who’s mad.” Dex eyed him sternly. “The rest of us have always had to share. Maybe it’s time you learned, too.”

  Dusty whistled. “That’s a low hit, man. Jesse’s one of the good guys.”

  Now the twins were glaring at each other. “Not when he acts like a dog in the manger,” Dex said.

  Jesse had lost his appetite. He pushed his chair back from the table. “I’m going to shoot some pool.” Stalking from the dining room, he made sure to bring his beer mug with him and planned to have it refilled often.

  His brothers gradually joined him, Walker first. “Calmed down yet?”

  “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jesse fired a ball into the side pocket.

  “I suspect you’re still struggling with the idea that Dad’s human. Like all of us.”

  “I’m still struggling with the fact that he cheated on his wife, who just happens to be a hell of a woman.” His next shot sent the ball over the bumper to bounce on the floor and roll underneath a chair by the wall. “Don’t you care how much Mom must have been hurt?”

  Walker stepped up to the table and bent over to set up his shot. “She forgave him, Jesse. She’s been married to him for more than thirty years. If she could manage, why can’t you?”

  “She thought they’d left it behind them. Instead, it…he is sitting right in front of them. That’s got to be painful.”

  Dex swung in on his crutches, souvenirs from a bad fall and recent knee surgery. “You’re assuming they didn’t know Mark was Dad’s son before all this came up.”

  Mouth hanging open, Jesse stared at his brother. Even Walker looked surprised. “You think they knew? When we were kids?”

  “Think about it,” Dusty said, straddling a chair. “Three of us like Mom—shades of blond with blue eyes, or green.”

  “Elly’s eyes are greenish blue,” Will put in. “Kinda like the ocean.”

  Along with his brothers, Jesse rolled his eyes at the dreamy expression on Elly’s fiancé’s face.

  “Whatever,” Dusty said. “But Mark Hansen looks like Dad—whip thin, dark hair and that lean face.”

  “So?”

  Dex heaved a sigh. “Come on, Jesse. Markton’s a small town. If you’d been with a woman who had a baby—say, about nine months later—wouldn’t you wonder a little? Suppose her husband was blond, which Mr. Hansen was, and the kid grew up dark-haired. Wouldn’t you think twice?”

  “Abby Hansen is—”

  “Is dark.” Dusty nodded. “But Mark’s face is the image of Dad’s. I can’t believe neither he nor Mom noticed. I think they knew from early on, if not the beginning.”

  “And ignored him? You think they could do that?”

  Walker said, quietly, “Why else would Dad be trying so hard to make amends?”

  After that question, the rowdy fun the brothers had been planning to have together never materialized. Jesse couldn’t get over the possibility that his parents had deliberately ignored a Cody child. Not long after midnight, with his third straight loss at the table, he told his brothers good-night. Taking one more chug from his beer mug, he set out to walk the long blocks back to the hotel.

  As he walked, he could only conclude that he’d made the right choice as far as Janie was concerned. Until he could get the family’s situation straightened out, he didn’t have room in his life for romance. Certainly not a lasting relationship.

  And with Janie, he realized suddenly, he wouldn’t want any other kind.

  GOING BACK TO HIS ROOM after an autographing session a week later, Jesse heard the call come from down the hall way.

  “Hey, cowboy! Wait up.” Not Janie’s voice.

  He turned on his heel in the hall to see Nicki coming his way. “Hello there, Mrs. Hansen. You’re looking pretty happy these days.”

  “I am happy, thank you.” She walked with him to the suite and stepped inside while he held the door. “Mark and I are just…well, terrific together.”

  “Glad to hear it. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, thanks.” She settled herself on a sofa. “I guess you’re feeling pretty good, too, sitting in the number two spot after six go-rounds.”

  “Sure.” He pulled a beer out of the refrigerator and twist ed off the cap. “I’d be happier as number one, but your husband’s got a lock on that until tonight, at least.”

  Nicki smiled. “Yeah, he has been riding really well. I’m proud of both of you.” The smile faded. “But I’m worried about you, too, Jesse. What’s going on?”

  Great. Just frigging great. He’d already been “talked to” by his mother, his three brothers and his baby sister. Now his former best friend had decided to take a shot. “What do you mean?”

  She held up a finger. “You’re too quiet. You’re drinking more than I’ve ever seen you drink.” Finger two. “You smile about once a day, when you’re talking with the little boys. Or signing autographs.”

  “That would be at least a hundred times a day. My hand is about to fall off.”

  She frowned at his interruption. “You’re not eating much.” Finger three. “You’re losing weight.” Four. “I’m fine.”

  “And you brush off anybody in the family who tries to find out what happened between you and Janie.”

  “That’s because nothing happened between me and Janie.”

  “I’d believe that except for the fact that she’s as miserable as you are.”

  “How can you tell, since she never leaves the hotel room?”

  Nicki stared at him with narrowed eyes. “Why are you avoiding each other?”

  “Ask her. I’m just doing what I came here for—riding bulls.”

  “Did you do something to hurt her, Jesse?” On her feet now, Nicki came to stand in front of him with her hands fisted on her hips. “Mark’s tried to talk to Janie, but she hasn’t said a word.”

  “That’s the definition of nothing, sweetheart.” When he tried to turn away from her, Nicki caught his arm.

  “Don’t you try to B.S. me, Jesse Cody. We’ve been best friends too long for this kind of game.”

  “Yeah, but you’re a married woman now, Nicki. Married, in fact, to the man I’ve been competing against as far back as I can remember, the man who turns out to be the proof that my dad is a cheat. You’ll have to forgive me if I’m not as comfortable with you as I used to be. A hell of a lot has changed recently.”

  Her green eyes widened. “You’re saying we’re not friends anymore?”

  “I’m saying that your husband would not be very happy to know we’re alone together right now. And do you really expect me to spill my guts on any given topic when what I say could get back to Mark? You know better, Nicki, however much you might be hoping for something different.”

  Tears spilled onto her cheeks. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

  Jesse put his arm around her shoulders. “It’s okay, Nicki. You love him, and you had to make a choice. I’m not blaming you. And we’re still friends. Just not best friends. That’s between you and Mark now.”

  Wiping her cheeks with her fingertips, she sniffed, then nodded. “We are best friends. I just…Jesse, I’ve never seen you so down for so long.”


  Keeping hold of her, he walked her toward the door. “You do not have to worry about me. I’m okay, and I’ll be even better when the balance tips in my favor and I get that big gold buckle to wear home on my belt.” He opened the door. “So if you’re going to tell that husband of yours anything, just tell him to prepare to lose. ’Cause it’s going to happen.”

  She was smiling when he shut the door, which was what he’d hoped to accomplish. He leaned back against the panel and emptied the remainder of the bottle with a couple of gulps, then headed to the fridge for another.

  Nicki had the facts right, of course. He wasn’t hungry, couldn’t sleep and started every day with the first of many brown bottles in his hand. Since Janie wouldn’t answer his phone calls and refused to see him in or out of her hotel room, what else could anyone expect?

  At least he was staying on the bulls. His scores weren’t quite as high as Mark’s, but he still had four nights to make up the difference. The number three guy, his friend Sandy Thorpe, was breathing down his neck, but with all the money Jesse had made during the year, he could win as long as he put in four solid rides.

  The thought took him back to last Wednesday night outside Fremont Street with Janie. She’d generated an argument about whether or not he should quit riding bulls…why? Because he’d kissed her? But when he promised to leave her alone, she only got more upset. What the hell did the woman want?

  He knew what he wanted…more of the same. More of Janie’s mouth under his, more of her body pressed against him—more of all of her, somewhere private and quiet. Surely she could tell how she’d made him feel.

  And surely she knew how big a problem that kind of relationship between them would create. He hadn’t even figured out how to deal with having Mark Hansen in his life, in his family. How could he get involved with a woman when he wasn’t sure he knew himself anymore?

  He’d hated Mark Hansen since they were kids. Now, with no more than a blood test to signify the difference, they were brothers. But Jesse had standards for the way he treated his brothers and the way he felt about them. Nothing to do with Mark Hansen fit those standards.

  Nicki might have switched loyalties. She was free to do that, and Jesse truly wished her well.

  But Janie wasn’t free to change her affections. Mark was her brother, her protector, the boy she grew up with and the man who helped her deal with her mother. Until Jesse and Mark could resolve their differences, asking Janie to choose between them was simply not fair. Not right.

  And…since every cell in Jesse’s body rebelled at the thought of taking second place to his father’s illegitimate son…

  Not possible.

  ANNE CODY WATCHED JESSE as the family gathered in their hotel suite after the seventh Finals performance. His mellow voice and deep laughter sounded several times as he traded jokes with his brothers. He’d won tonight’s go-round, which put both Jesse and his father in a terrific mood.

  He was her favorite son, which she could admit only to herself. All her children were precious, of course, and she wouldn’t trade her daughter, Elly, for anything in the world. Each boy was endearing in his own way, and she loved them fiercely.

  But Jesse…he’d been a precious gift, a blessing she’d once doubted she’d would ever experience. A miscarriage at six months of pregnancy with her first baby had left her deeply depressed, wondering if she would ever bear a child. John Walker’s infidelity, on top of the tragedy, had brought her close to suicide.

  His abject apology, his promise to be faithful and his unconditional love had drawn her back from the precipice. They had looked forward from that point on. A year later, she’d given birth to a perfect baby boy— Jesse. John Walker had been ecstatic to have a son who would inherit his name and the Cody tradition.

  Now, there was Mark, an older son with a different last name. John Walker was determined to bring him into the family, but refused to consider the damage he might cause.

  A financial settlement would be so much easier.

  Instead, her firstborn had to stand by while his best friend married his closest rodeo rival and the man who supplanted him as the oldest Cody son. No wonder Jesse was tense these days. He must be thinking he couldn’t win on any front.

  “Annie? Are you okay?” John Walker snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Wake up, girl.”

  She called up a smile as he dropped down beside her on the couch. “Sorry. Just thinking about the old days.”

  “A waste of time. We should be looking forward. We’re in for a bull riding win this year, one way or the other. Jesse and Mark are running neck and neck at this point.” His dark eyes searched her face. “Do you like him?”

  She knew he meant Mark. “I’d say he’s a nice young man.”

  The severe line of his mouth expressed disappointment. “That’s a prissy answer, Annie. You know I care what you think about him.”

  “I’ve only had about a week to talk with him, John Walker. I can’t know him very well when rodeo is the only topic of conversation.”

  John Walker stared at her for a moment. “You’re willing to keep trying, aren’t you?”

  Anne shrugged. “I don’t see what else we can do at this point.” She pressed her lips together, holding in an anger she thought had been doused thirty years ago.

  “I made two huge mistakes, Annie. First, I strayed from my marriage. Then I ignored my son, pretending that Abigail’s baby wasn’t mine when my gut told me different.

  “Now I’m trying to set things right.” He covered the back of her hand with his palm. “I’m glad I get that chance.”

  She forced herself to relent, to accept his need for restitution. “I understand, John Walker.” Leaning close, she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. “If you’ll give it some time, I think we’ll all be able to accept Mark as part of the family.”

  His arm came around her shoulders, and he kissed the top of her head. “I love you so much,” he whispered. “Make your excuses in a little while and come to bed.”

  He squeezed her hand, said good-night to the kids and went into their bedroom. Anne stayed, still thinking, until her children and their partners headed to their own rooms.

  Having admitted his mistake, John Walker had set about making amends. He might be thirty years late with the effort, but he wanted Mark to be a Cody in every sense of the word. With his world set to rights, he felt he could face the future without flinching.

  Watching the effect on her children, however, Anne was not convinced. Though Jesse’s dilemma was the worst, discovering their father’s infidelity had shaken all of them. This disillusionment was what she’d tried to prevent when she’d given him the ultimatum. He could have a family with her, she’d told him thirty years ago, or with Abigail. Not both. As she’d hoped, John Walker had chosen her and they’d made a beautiful life together.

  But Anne was beginning to fear that her efforts to protect her family might, in the end, destroy it instead.

  Chapter Six

  Day ten. One last ride for the world championship.

  Janie settled her mother into a chair in the luxury box the Codys always purchased for the National Finals. In what seemed to be a miracle, Abby had been more like herself during the past week than Janie could remember for several years. They’d even managed to take a couple of excursions together—shopping with Elly at the Cowboy Christmas Sale and a ride out into the desert with Mark and Nicki. Plus their nightly visits to the Thomas & Mack Center to watch Mark and Elly compete.

  And Jesse, of course.

  Now the final round of rides was just minutes away. Abby had taken an afternoon nap and was feeling good. She gazed around the stadium, apparently enjoying the mass of people and the noise.

  “Does Mark ride next?” She caught Janie’s hand. “Is it Mark’s turn?”

  “Not yet. First the barrel racing—we get to see Elly.”

  “Oh, good.” As Abby surveyed their surroundings, Anne and J. W. Cody entered the box and took their seats across the a
isle, next to Nicki’s dad. She turned to Janie with a puzzled expression. “Who’s that sitting with us?”

  “Elly’s mom and dad. The Codys. We saw them earlier, remember?”

  Her mom gave a vague smile. “Oh…yes. Of course.” Then she resumed her survey of the crowd.

  Anne Cody had been a gracious hostess this week—she’d stopped by every day to ask after Abby and make sure they had everything they needed. That can’t have been easy, given the trouble between them. But then, Janie had always known where Jesse got his strong sense of honor.

  The seat beside her creaked and she turned to see her sister-in-law sitting down. “Hey, Nicki. How’s Mark feeling?”

  “Good.” Nicki nodded hard, as if to convince herself. “I think. I mean, they all put on a show for each other, pretending they’re too tough to be worried about a little thing like the National Finals. But Mark really does feel good, and he’s confident that he can ride the bull he’s drawn. Xerxes is his name.”

  “I’ve heard of him.” Statistics were kept on the top bulls just as on the top riders, and the animals often had their own fans. “He’s tough, but tends to play fair. That’s a great draw.”

  She couldn’t ask about Jesse because she didn’t deserve to know. Sticking to her vow, she’d avoided him since last Wednesday night by staying with her mother in their suite and bypassing any Cody gathering where he might show up. That had been, of course, most of the Cody gatherings.

  But since she wasn’t a family member, that didn’t matter to them anyway.

  She’d gotten out of the hotel occasionally by herself when her mother slept or when Mark and Nicki were with her. She’d taken Mark’s truck one afternoon and driven aimlessly around Las Vegas, trying to get a feel for the city that didn’t include casinos and money. She hadn’t discovered much else, and instead had found herself getting progressively more homesick.

  Tomorrow, thankfully, she would be going home. Janie had stretched the credit card balance a little further and bought plane tickets for herself and her mother. She couldn’t fly with Jesse again. Not the way things stood between them.