Killer in Him

by Sam Crescent

  Since she had accepted his diner invitation, Charlie had taken the time to come and visit her during lunch and while she was working. He was a nice guy, and an awful flirt. Joy accepted his compliments, while also trying to keep to herself. He made it impossible to not be pulled in by him.

  It was hard though. In the recess of her mind, she still recalled Ben’s touch, the way his arms surrounded her, loving her. Their last moments together wouldn’t disappear no matter how hard she tried.

  “Have you been here before?”

  “No, I’ve ordered, but not actually sat in. You?”

  “A couple of times.” He cringed. “I brought my mom here for Mother’s Day.”

  “That is incredibly sweet.”

  “I’m not a mother’s boy.”

  “I don’t mind, Charlie. We all have parents.” She couldn’t help but think about Ben. He didn’t have any parents. She took a deep breath, grabbing the menu. “What would you recommend?”

  Ben didn’t have parents. They were taken from him, and he was put with a family who ruined his life.

  She pressed a hand to her stomach and tried to make the sickness go away.

  Charlie was talking, and she nodded, every now and then staring at the menu as if she understood what the hell was going on.

  She was in love with Ben, and time apart was not helping her to heal her wounds. Nothing was helping. She was going through her life, one step at a time, waiting for the pain to disappear.

  “I think you should order for me when someone finally gets around to us.” Joy looked around the room and didn’t find any wait staff near.

  “It’s odd. Usually there are people waiting to take orders.”

  “Yes, it is a little strange. So Charlie, tell me about you,” she said.

  “There’s not much to tell. I was hoping to hear about you.”

  He reached over the table, placing his hand over hers. Slowly, she pulled away. “We’re friends, remember.”

  “What can I get you this evening?”

  Joy tensed up. She recognized that voice, and when she turned, she saw him.

  Ben was in the restaurant, serving them. His gaze was on her, and she was in shock.

  He was really here.

  ****

  Ben’s four weeks

  “I don’t need your money, Ben,” Joy said.

  He pulled up outside of her house, and kept the door locked so she couldn’t get out. “You’ve got to learn to take care of yourself, Joy.”

  “I was doing a damn good job.”

  “You accepted me into your home, and now you know what I am. If I wanted to, I could have killed you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t, and we’ve gone over this. You’re not part of my world anymore.” Joy pulled on the door handle. “Let me out. You can’t keep me here forever.”

  He wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. She was right. He’d not been there for her.

  Flicking the lock, he watched her walk up to her front door and enter her home. A light went on, and for several minutes, he simply waited. He wanted to drive away. It would be easier for him to drive away.

  Finally, he drove, but he didn’t go toward his new job. He went toward the incinerator. Ben wasn’t about to let his business being discussed stand. Climbing out, he entered the workplace silently. The incinerator worked in the back, and he walked toward the back. There was no need for weapons.

  Being silent, he entered the back, and there the man was, working on a dead body.

  Time passed, and Ben stared at the guy doing his work.

  When the incinerator looked up, Ben smiled.

  “Do you have a body for me?” he asked.

  “No, I don’t. I’ve come here on a more personal matter.” Ben could have left the island to handle this fucker, but instead, he’d taken his time with Joy, enjoying her.

  “I don’t deal with personal matters.”

  “You could have fucking fooled me. You see, I gave you a body, and Debusa came back to me asking about why I took my fucking time. There’s only one person who could have told him about what the fuck was going on, and that person was you.” Ben ran his fingers across the weapons that were lying on a tray. None of these had any blood on them, and he was impressed with the selection.

  “Look, no hard feelings. When I’m asked to do a job, or questions, I answer them.”

  He shook his head. “You’re going to call Debusa and let him know you were mistaken by my time frame.”

  The incinerator dealt with the dead bodies. He wasn’t a killer, and he wasn’t a deadly machine. The bodies he handled were already dead, so there was nothing for him to do.

  “What do I get out of it?”

  Ben rounded the trolley, grabbed the back of his head, and smacked his face against the metal table.

  The man’s screams filled the room.

  “You get to live.”

  Grabbing the back of his head, he tugged his head back. “Do you want to live?” Ben pressed his foot against the man’s dick, putting enough pressure to make him scream. “Do you want to be able to father children?”

  “Stop, please stop. I’ll do it. I’ll do what you want.”

  Ben smiled and handed him the phone. “Make the fucking call.”

  He stood, waiting until he was satisfied that the incinerator was done.

  “If I find out that you ever speak about shit behind my back, I will come back, and fucking end you, do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t ever tell me how to do my fucking job again!”

  Leaving the building, he went back to his car, and started the journey toward Vegas where he was supposed to go to handle the brother of the enemy.

  This was why he and Joy would never be suited to each other.

  She was the good, he was the evil. There was a killer in him, and he couldn’t change.

  ****

  No woman had ever gotten to him. No one had ever meant anything to him. Within a casino, Ben observed the man that was his target. The fucker was surrounded by women, none of them his wife, and some of them even showed a little fear of the man. He saw through the act. Ben made sure he didn’t make a show of observing his prey.

  Checking his watch, he had to the end of the week to finish the man off, and when it was done, he was on a plane back to his island.

  Nodding at the waitress, he took his scotch and made his way back up to his room. He’d already inserted some cameras into the room so that he could see everything he wanted to see.

  Ben stared down at his cell phone and thought about calling Joy. It had been a week since he’d last seen her, and he couldn’t get her out of his head. She had gotten into his head, under his skin, and he couldn’t just forget about her.

  Putting his phone to one side, he watched the camera. His nights were spent observing this man, partly because he couldn’t sleep. When he lay down, he stared at the space where Joy had once slept, by his side. It amazed him how much of a pussy he’d become. There was not supposed to be any change from him.

  I’m a killer.

  She could do better than him.

  He was a killer.

  Watching the screen, he took a sip of his scotch, and waited. Three hours passed, and he ordered room service to wait, before his target entered the room. The bastard had three women, and they were all about to enjoy a fuck-fest.

  Rubbing his eyes, Ben waited until it was all over, and the women were forced out of the room after their services were done with.

  The man in question went to his bed, and Ben saw his opportunity. The guard watching the door left his post to go and have a little bit of fun time of his own. For the past three days, that was exactly what he’d done. At around three in the morning, the guard left to go and fuck one of the servers downstairs, and for about an hour, his target was left unattended.

  Leaving his room, Ben had already gotten into the casino’s servers, and changed the codes so it showed an empty hallway. No one would detec
t him.

  Entering the target’s room, he pulled out his gun and walked into the bedroom.

  “What the fuck?” his target said.

  Ben didn’t even give him a chance to say anything else. A single bullet to the head, the token he’d been mailed dropped on the bed, and Ben was gone.

  Any excitement or thrill that he’d once had was gone.

  Going to his room, Ben closed down all the cameras and left the hotel room. No one was any the wiser.

  ****

  Sitting on the bed in his island, Ben held Joy’s diary. He’d not read a page of it, but it had been left on the bed in plain sight.

  If the staff had read it, they hadn’t said. He paid a lot of money for their discretion, and in the world, money spoke volumes.

  “This was your chance to get away, to start over. You’re making this choice now, not anyone else. You could walk away, right now? You own a freaking island, Ben!”

  Joy’s words echoed around his head, and he couldn’t let it go.

  Opening up her diary, he flicked through the pages that he’d read. In the back, he saw a post written to him.

  Dear Ben,

  Our time has finally come to a close, and where I once would have been glad of this, I find myself feeling nothing but grief. I never thought I would find a man to love the way that I love you. Love, the soul searing kind of love, was supposed to be reserved to the movies. It’s not. Only a few people in the world get a chance to experience this. I understand that now. It’s special, and it can last a lifetime.

  You think I’m going to find someone else, and you’re probably right. There’s some nice guy out there, who will probably be perfect for me.

  The problem?

  I don’t want perfect. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over you, but I will try.

  I’m not going to be looking for another man, because in your own way, Ben, you are perfect for me. I love you, and I do believe that you love me. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. You’ve read everything else, but knowing my luck, you’ll just push this to one side. You’ll never know how much you’ve broken my heart.

  My heart will remain broken until you fix it.

  One day, I hope you read this, and if you do, I want you to think about something.

  Ben paused. It was like Joy was there with him, next to him. Closing his eyes, he pressed the diary against his nose, and he inhaled her scent. “You’re a fucking pussy.”

  Unable to stop himself, he kept on reading.

  If you love me, I want you to imagine what it would be like for another man to be with me. I’m not talking about a friend. Close your eyes after you read this, and think about it. Another man touching my body, kissing me, tasting me, loving me. Can you handle another guy sliding his dick inside my body and spilling his cum? Another man’s baby inside me?

  If you can, then burn this diary.

  If you can’t, then come to me.

  We can work through this some way.

  I love you, Ben.

  Always will.

  ****

  At first, he watched Joy going through her day. She hadn’t changed much, but her job had. She was now on the front desk as a receptionist rather than being locked away. Ben didn’t like how sad she looked, how depressed, and he knew it was his damn fault.

  For two days he watched her, and when he was about to make his move on Friday night, he saw that she had a fucking date. The smarmy bastard parked up beside her house, and just as Ben was making his way toward her, she climbed in the fucker’s car. He had no choice but to follow them. There was no way he was about to lose Joy. She wasn’t over him.

  He followed them to the restaurant, and he stared at the door, cursing his own stupidity. Why the fuck did he wait?

  Ben wasn’t going to back down. Joy belonged to him. She was his woman, and he wasn’t going to let another man take what belonged to him. He’d given her a chance to live her life, but there was no way he could handle it.

  Everything he said to her had been a pack of lies designed to make her believe that he didn’t want her, and didn’t love her. He did love her.

  Ben had never known love like this. Throughout the years, any kind that of love that came his way, always found a reason to leave him. No one wanted him, and he accepted that. His life as a killer was what kept him going, kept him moving.

  Climbing out of his car, he made his way into the back of the restaurant just as another man turned up. There was a way for him to get to Joy, and he was going to take it.

  Chapter Ten

  “What can I get you this evening?”

  Joy stared at Ben as he held a white pad in his hand, a pencil poised ready to take their order.

  “I’m not sure if we’re ready to order yet, are you, Joy?” Charlie asked.

  “You order for me.” She couldn’t speak. Her heart was breaking, and she couldn’t believe that the man who had broken her heart was now in the same restaurant that she was on a date with another person.

  I’m trying to move on.

  Staring up at Ben, everything faded into the background. He looked good, but then nothing could take away from his rock hard body. She noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the only sign that he’d been suffering like she had. Had he been suffering? Had it killed him to live his life as a killer?

  Suddenly, he started talking, and she was pulled out of her own thoughts.

  “I think it’s always good that the lady orders her own food.”

  Glancing over at Charlie, she saw him nod. “Look at the menu, honey,” he said.

  Joy held the menu, and the whole time her hands were shaking. Charlie didn’t have a clue that the man who had broken her heart was serving them.

  “Do you know what’s good?” she asked.

  “Haven’t a clue.”

  “It’s your first day?”

  “Here, yes, and it will be my last.”

  Looking up, she saw that he was still staring down at her, only this time, he was standing with his back to Charlie.

  “Maybe we should get another waiter who knows the menu,” she said.

  “You know what you like, what you want, Joy. It’s not this.”

  Charlie looked between them. “Do you two know each other?”

  “Of course not.”

  Suddenly, Ben started talking, and she was mesmerized. “‘If you love me, I want you to imagine what it would be like for another man to be with me. I’m not talking about a friend. Close your eyes after you read this, and think about it. Another man touching my body, kissing me, tasting me, loving me. Can you handle another guy sliding his dick inside my body and spilling his cum? Another man’s baby inside me? If you can, then burn this diary. If you can’t, then come to me. We can work through this some way. I love you, Ben. Always will.’”

  She watched as he took the diary that she had written all of her thoughts down while she’d been with.

  “I’m here, Joy. Can we talk?”

  “This is ridiculous. I don’t know who you think—”

  Ben grabbed her hand, tugging her along with him, and Joy went. Her heart was racing, and she couldn’t help the excitement or the pleasure that rushed through her as Ben led her out of the back of the restaurant and pressed her up against the wall.

  It had to all be a dream, but even as the brick scratched her back and the scent of old rotting food filled her senses, she knew it wasn’t.

  He cupped her face, sinking his fingers into her hair, and cushioning her head. His lips pressed passionately against hers, and Joy succumbed to the pressure of his lips. Ben slid his tongue against her bottom lip seeking access, and she couldn’t deny him. Gripping his shoulders, she opened her lips, and the kiss deepened. Every second of heartache had built to this moment where he was in her arms.

  Ben didn’t stop. He held her tightly, and it was as if he was consumed with the need to cement her as his once again. In the distance, she heard the sounds of the busy kitchen, and all the time, she was focused on
Ben, her Ben, the man she loved more than anything. The same man that had dumped her back in her old life and left her without a thought, yet he was here. She had been trying to get over him, going on a date with someone else, and now he was here, kissing her in the back of an alley, the back of a restaurant where Charlie still sat at her table.

  What the hell was she doing?

  Pulling away, she couldn’t go far as he held her tightly to him.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you.” He took possession of her lips once again, and she moaned. Her body came alive under his hands.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “I came for you.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  Joy shook her head. “You’re insane.”

  “I read your diary. The one you left for me.”

  Biting her lip, she stared down at his chest. They were so close, closer than she ever thought was possible. “I’m on a date.”

  She had cried so many tears for this man, so many that she really thought she wouldn’t be able to ever find someone else.

  “Who is that fucker?” Ben asked.

  “He’s a friend from work.”

  “No, you don’t want him.”

  “Ben, we’re two different people.”

  “What the hell is going on?” Charlie asked, coming out of the kitchen.

  Joy pushed Ben away, and she hated it. “He’s an old friend. I’m not feeling so great. I think it’s time I went home.”

  “I’ll take you,” Ben said.

  She shook her head. “No.” This was all wrong. She was on a date with someone else. Someone who wasn’t Ben.

  “Joy,” he said, grabbing her arm.

  “Don’t make me be that girl, okay? I’m with someone else right now.”

  Ben moved in close. “I’ll be waiting.”

  She didn’t watch him walk away, she couldn’t. Walking up the steps, she smiled at Charlie. “I’m really sorry about that.”

  They walked back to the table, and the whole time, she wasn’t into it, not really. Her life had just taken a drastic turn.

  Her body was alive for the first time in over four weeks.

  Ben was back, and he’d read her diary.

  Was he jealous?

  Could it even be possible?