Wake Me Up (Love Knows No Boundaries)

by Michelle Horst

  I close my eyes and he just holds us like this. I soak in his warmth for a minute, taking what I can get, because for some reason it’s easing the pain in my chest.

  “You come to me if you need somethin’. You come to me about anythin’.”

  I watch him leave me so I can change. I can’t help but wonder when he’ll change his mind about helping me.

  ~*~

  I send Chloe an email explaining the latest happenings with my mother, and how Aiden stepped in. She’s going to be upset, I can just feel it in my gut. I didn’t tell her Aiden’s a detective, I don’t know if that would be wise.

  I change into shorts and a t-shirt. I wash my face and tie my hair back into a ponytail. We step into the lounge at the same time, and I have to admit I feel insecure for a whole lot of new reasons, the main one being he’s not a student any more.

  Just when I think he can’t come across any more manly – he does, now that I know he’s older, he works, he’s ten to one independent, not dependent on anyone like me. If I weren’t upset about my mum, I’d notice how great he looks in his worn jeans that hangs low on his hips, and how the charcoal shirt brings out the gray of his eyes.

  But OF COURSE, I don’t notice any of that. I’m supposed to be upset. I’m not supposed to feel relieved, at all. I’m not supposed to feel a flutter of excitement as I leave the flat with Aiden. I’m supposed to feel guilty. Awful. Selfish. Cheap. Lost.

  He opens the car door for me, and I brush past him to get in. I catch his spicy scent, and remind myself I should feel guilty for running away from home, for making my problem his. I tell myself this, otherwise I will feel hope, maybe even a glimmer of happiness, and we all know what happens then – the shit hits the fan.

  So I just slip on my safety belt and tell myself to be nervous, because something should go wrong soon. Aiden could change his mind in the next hour, and realize he’s made a mistake.

  But he doesn’t. We pick up breakfast, and the only thing I really should feel guilty about is the coke I get, while he takes a bottle of water. He drives us out to a lake. We drive past some students settling in for a day of fun, families, couples in love, and he keeps going until I should start thinking Lake Placid, Wrong Turn, maybe even Jason and Scream, and then I laugh, because now I’m being really daft.

  Aiden glances at me and must see the word panic written all over my face. “I’m not going to kill you. Stop looking so nervous.”

  I smile brightly, although I should worry about the fact that he can read me so easily. But that thought flies out the back door when he parks the car.

  WOW.

  I’ve seen lakes. I’ve seen views. A couple. Maybe this is stunning because I wanted to see this specific one.

  The glassy sheen of water is smooth beyond the trees, and I push the door open so I can take in the full sight in front of me. Most of the trees are still green, but some of the leaves have turned to gold and orange, submitting to the coming winter. The ones that have fallen are still soft, not crunchy.

  I walk slowly, my stomach buzzing with excitement, and I can’t help but reach for a tree. I need to touch one, to prove to myself that I am here. I am at Jordan Lake. And I know there are eagles here, somewhere.

  I glance up at the tall treetops, smiling, and it’s silly, really. They will be deeper in, nesting in the higher ones. But I’m so close, as close as I’ll ever get to a Bald Eagle, a bird that was almost extinct. With a little help and a lot of determination, they aren’t any more, and that’s where my hope lies. If an eagle can come back from such devastation, then maybe I can, too.

  That’s what makes this place so special. I’m finally here - I’m here experiencing hope.

  ~*~

  “Come on, if we don’t eat now I will starve.”

  Aiden takes my hand and pulls me through the trees to an open patch of sand. It’s quiet, and everything stills in me, finally.

  We eat in silence. He takes our wrappers back to the car, and returns with a blanket which he spreads wide. We don’t disturb the nature around us with words. He tugs me closer, to lie next to him on the blanket. As soon as I do, the easy ambience is gone. Maybe it’s because of what I know of him now, what I’ve seen. I don’t understand myself, though. When I didn’t know him, I was willing to throw myself at him, now that I do know him I’m not? How in the bloody hell does my wonky mind work?

  I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he regretting yesterday? Is he regretting helping me?

  What if he’s upset? The thought detonates in my mind, sending a fresh wave of anxiety though my chest. What do I do if he gets angry? My stomach drops, as if the very core of the earth is trying to suck it in. I take slow, deep breaths so my chest won’t start to ache.

  He moves and I flinch. I didn’t mean to. I freeze. I really didn’t mean to move. I feel my blood drain from my face and I close my eyes. It’s one thing facing my mother. I’ve faced her all my life. It’s another facing other people. I don’t know how they will react. My body is so tense I’m going to start shaking if I don’t move.

  He moves again, and this time I manage to keep still. I don’t even breathe. I’m going to go blue. I need to breathe. Oh, ouch, the intense pain builds up fast in my chest. I hate the suffocating feeling. If he’ll just be angry and get it over with so I can breathe!

  “Please open your eyes,” he whispers, close to my ear. His breath rushes over my neck and it warms my skin, it doesn’t stick to me like my mother’s would’ve.

  I snap them open and stare up at the blue sky. There are no clouds. There’s nothing to focus on, just blue. I suck in a deep breath, as slowly as I possibly can.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” he says.

  “Blue.” It’s really the last word on my mind.

  “Okay, before that.”

  “I’m sorry if you’re angry, Aiden. I’m sorry for bringing this on you. It’s really alright, you don’t have to-“ The tips of his fingers push lightly against my lips, stopping me from going on, and he leans closer.

  “I want to ask you somethin’,” he breathes the words over my jaw, and I nod. Then he does it again – just by placing his hand over my heart my stomach uncurls. “Stop thinkin’. I don’t ever want to hear the words ‘I’m sorry’ from you again. You’re banned from using them. Use this.” He presses lightly against my chest and some of the pain starts to ease up. With every breath I can feel his hand against my skin. “You have a heart and instinct of your own, find it and use it. Live your own life.”

  I turn my face slightly. His eyes look deep into mine, not to intimidate me – I see only strength. The last of the fear ebbs away and I become highly aware of his palm pressing over the side of my breast.

  That gut and heart he wants me to use? They want to kiss him real bad. Like BAD, bad. Yummy bad! Right now.

  He lifts himself up onto his arm and hovers over me, but he doesn’t kiss me. His lips lightly grazes my jaw, sending delicious tingles down my spine. When the tingles reach my abdomen they feel like full blown electric pulses, bringing every nerve in my body to life. I unclench my hands over my stomach and close my eyes again, and the world diminishes until there’s only him.

  He lifts his hand off my chest. He’s barely touching me now, only his breath fanning my skin. With his body so close to mine the warmth of his breath skims over my cheek to the corner of my mouth, dipping down my chin into the curve of my neck. The same pulling sensation starts in my abdomen, the one I now know leads to all good things.

  I let out a shaky breath at the thought, and struggle even more to keep still. He leaves a trail of heat, working his way down. I want to squirm and grab him. Never in my life has it been this hard to keep still. I want to forget what happened in the past twenty-four hours. I want to pretend we’re strangers, and start again.

  He continues placing feather-light kisses over my collarbone and down to the curve of my cleavage, just visible with the t-shirt I’m wearing. And right about there, my hands grow a brain of
their own. They shoot up, into his chest, grabbing at his shirt.

  He gets some message from that, because he comes back up and hovers over my mouth. I open my eyes and look right into his.

  I bring my hands up to his face and let my fingers trail over his skin, really taking him in for the first time. I can’t exactly explain how it feels to touch him. To feel, not sick, but ecstatic instead. I press my palms flat against his face so I can feel more of him.

  And the soft look he gets, I’ve always wanted to see that. All I’ve ever wanted was to feel safe. Parents should make their children feel safe. If nothing else, I hope I can make a friend out of Aiden, like I’ve done with Chloe. But … if I can experience more with him, why not?

  I let my eyes trail over his face, there’s a faint cut disappearing into his hairline, and I wonder if he got it in a fight. Looking up at him, I hear the enrapturing sound of the eagle.

  I mean to say his name as my eyes jump to the sky, but all that comes out is a rush of air. I don’t know who moves first, or if I push him off. But I’m up, and dizzy with emotions I can’t begin to describe as the eagle soars over the lake. My chest expands and shrinks all at once. My heart stutters and I hold my breath. There is an aching pain spreading through my chest, but it’s different this time, it’s sweet, as if something is finally being released. Something I have been holding inside me for far too long.

  The eagle cries out to the sky and beyond, staking its claim on its territory and a piece of my soul, the piece that hurts. It swoops down lower on the other side, gliding gracefully, flapping once, twice and then it’s gone.

  I’ve come and I’ve seen. I’ve experienced the one miracle I wanted to. I look out over the still water, and it strikes me like a bolt of lightning, I feel like a fish stuck in a confined space, swimming around aimlessly, coming from nowhere and going nowhere.

  I’m twenty-two. I have no plans for my future. What will my next step be?

  ~*~

  Chapter Eight

  Aiden~

  There are some things I think you file away deep inside of you so that one day, when you’re old, you can call them up and smile at them. Emma’s face when she sees the eagle will be one of them.

  It’s up there in my top five, with Laurie and Zac’s story. I had a happy childhood, one of those perfect ones. My parents love me. I had a twin sister whom I adored. I have a younger brother I can teach stuff to. I was good at sports, good at everything I did. I joined the army and I was good at that. Our family was perfect until we lost Laurie.

  Not that we’re not happy any more. We got each other through it, sort of. But there’s that hole when you wake up the next day and your partner is gone, your other half for so long. Zac lost his wife, I lost my sister, and since that day we’ve been brothers and partners.

  But … but.

  It’s been two years. I haven’t wanted to touch anyone in two years. Kiss anyone. I didn’t know I was feeling like this until Emma. I didn’t know I was staying single so Zac wouldn’t be alone. It’s been us for two years, just working, but now I want more.

  Monday morning when I come back from my run, there is soft music coming from Emma’s room. She didn’t have a nightmare, and I left her to sleep. I stand and listen to the music, and I’m surprised when it sounds like Country, then it changes, and I have to smile as it picks up the beat. The song is all Emma. I google the lyrics, and find that it’s by Avicii. Definitely not Country, but Swedish.

  Wake me up. It reminds me of what Zac said.

  We fall into the week, and the times I see Emma at the university, I try to make it clear with a hug or kiss that she is sort of taken. I know what men think and which part of their bodies they think with, so if you don’t stake your claim, they descend, like a pack of wolves.

  I have my eye on one of those wolves right now, and he’s doing the leaning thing – into Emma’s personal space.

  Seven days. I’ve known her seven days, and it’s taking a lot of willpower not to walk over right now and take the guy out. But, I’m not her boyfriend, yet. We haven’t had that discussion. Things kind of happened backwards for us, and I’m not sure how to approach the subject. I’ll have a heart attack if she brings someone home. Limbs will fly. There will be blood. God help the guy that tries something with her.

  I wipe my face and breathe in slowly. I need to calm down. I’ve grown way too protective, but it’s the damn thing with Katia and Colton that has me on edge, and the thing with her mother didn’t help at all.

  Her hand is soft on my arm, and I drop mine to look at her. It’s endearing, she actually looks concerned.

  “Are you all right?” she asks.

  I don’t care about being in public any more, or how she might feel about it. I slip my hands into her hair, pull her face to mine and I kiss her, not like I’ve been kissing her the past few days. No quick brushes of hot air. I crush her lips until she opens them for me, and then I fall.

  Dammit, it feels heavenly to fall into her. I drop my hand to her back, drawing her body tightly against mine, and I let her sweetness fill my mouth. Her hands move from my sides to my arms, then they finally slip around my neck and she holds me. If we were alone now, I’d forget what I said about her first time being special and take her, but we’re not, and that’s a good thing for us both.

  I break the kiss, and smile when she inches up to follow me, but I don’t buckle under the temptation.

  “If we don’t stop, I’m going to undress you right here,” I say. Her face flushes at my directness, and she drops her forehead to my chest. “With that said,” I continue, “I don’t think it’s a good idea if we go home right now. So, a public place it has to be. Any ideas?”

  She hasn’t left the apartment except when she comes here. I have offered to drop her somewhere when I have to meet with Zac, but she’s just too happy to stay there. Not tonight though, it’s Friday.

  ~*~

  “Anything,” she answers me.

  “What would you normally do on a Friday?” I try to make it easier.

  She adjusts her bag and I reach for it, throwing it over my shoulder. She turns half away, looking at the students passing us by. “Really, we can do anything you want to do, Aiden.”

  I tilt my head so I can see her face, and I try to keep mine neutral. It was easier in the beginning, but now that I’m starting to really feel something for her, it’s getting harder not to get angry. I better not meet her mother.

  “Okay, it’s a date then,” I say, as cheerfully as I can manage. She looks up at me, surprised. “I hope you’re ready to be charmed, Emma Walker.” I reach for her, slipping my hand around the back of her neck. Her skin is silky soft. I can spend hours touching her.

  She smiles, and stands on her tiptoes so she can reach my ear. “Give it your best shot, Detective.”

  Heat flushes through my body and I tighten my hold on her neck, keeping her close to me.

  “Is that a dare?” I breathe the words down her jaw to her neck, and she grabs at my shirt. I can’t keep from smiling, I love how responsive she is.

  She nods before she pulls away. Her cheeks are that cute rosy pink again. It’s times like this, when she reacts this way, that I have to remember she’s inexperienced. I have to make it special, somehow.

  My mind is racing like a wild horse when I drive away from the university. I need to come up with something really different. Movies and boring stuff like that are out. I glance at the time, and as insane as the idea is, I stop for gas to fill up, and then head to the apartment.

  “Can you wait here for one sec? Just one.”

  She smiles, none the wiser, and I run up to pack fresh clothes for tomorrow. She must be the easiest person to pack for. Shorts, shirt, pyjamas, and underwear. I grin like a dumbass when I throw that in. Toothbrush and brush, and I almost miss the little box of contraceptive pills. I open the cabinet in the bathroom to make sure I’m not missing anything.

  There are bottles. I reach for them, inspecting each one.
Three are still sealed, the fourth is half full. I take out my phone and call Zac, before I even think it through.

  “Speak to me,” he answers quickly.

  “Can you check out something for me? I can’t right now. What is Toplep taken for?”

  “Sure,” he says.

  I cut the call and stare at the four bottles. Then I close the cabinet on them. If they were prescription, they’d be labeled that way. I push it to the back of my mind for now and head down. I’ll deal with it when Zac calls back, whatever the ‘it’ is.

  When I steer us in the direction of Ocean Isle, I switch on the radio. I’ve noticed Emma loves music.

  “We have a lot of time to kill, so twenty questions,” I say. I can try and get my answers that way.

  “Twenty questions,” she repeats. “You certainly are a brave bloke.”

  “Why would that be?” I glance at her.

  “Normally the male species shies away from answering questions.”

  “It’s in my nature to ask them,” I remind her. “I like to solve puzzles.”

  “You do?” she asks, looking uncomfortable.

  “Human ones,” I rectify.

  “Oh.” She glances out the window and then back at me. “Twenty questions.” Her face brightens up with that stunning smile she has. “Your favorite color?”

  “Charcoal, yours?” I counter. She looks around the car as if she’s thinking about it.

  “It’s not blue … eh … almost the color of the sea but darker.” I take my phone out and hand it to her.

  “Why don’t you look it up? Bring up a color chart.”

  Her eyes jump from the phone, to me, then back to the phone before she takes it. I steal glances as she goes to work, and seconds later she holds up the screen to me.

  “This one,” she says, looking very pleased to have found it.

  “That’s teal, isn’t it?”

  She nods. “That’s the one.”

  “Favorite thing to do?” I watch her closely. She couldn’t decide on something to do for tonight and it has me thinking what the world is like where she comes from if she couldn’t make a simple decision like that.