Dreamspinner Press Year Six Greatest Hits

by JD Ruskin

  “Dane! Dane, stop! It’s Josh.”

  He looked down at me, a dazed expression on his face. He shook his head, then looked at me again.

  “Fuck. Josh, what did you do? Oh, fuck.”

  He rolled off me and sat on the floor. I sat up and rubbed my stomach, working to catch my breath again.

  “What happened?” I asked at last.

  But Dane wasn’t looking at me. He wore a terrible scowl, his jaw clenched tight. He seemed to be looking off somewhere far away. An instant later, he jerked his head, and he was back in the room. And he was mad.

  “Don’t ever do that to me,” he yelled. “Fuck. Never mind. It won’t happen again.”

  He rolled up onto his feet and headed for the door.

  “What do you mean? What the heck happened here?”

  “Nothing.” He glanced at me and winced. “Fuck.”

  He rubbed his hand across his face, and he seemed surprised when he felt the sweat. He stared at his palm for a moment like he was trying to figure what to do about the wet; then he wiped his palm across his hip and stared at the floor, then the ceiling.

  “Tell me what’s going on, Dane. Whatever it is—”

  “Let’s just say I’ve come to my senses.” He shook his head, still looking anywhere but at me.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He took a deep breath. “Cowboy, your brother is my best friend. Probably my only friend. I don’t know if he knows about you, but he sure as shit doesn’t know about me, and I can’t mess that up.”

  Then he was through the doorway and down the hall. He already had his pants and shirt on, and his boots were in his hand when I entered the living room.

  “I’m sorry.” His back was to me, and he threw the words over his shoulder as he opened the front door. He slammed it behind him like some final word as I crossed the room. I pulled it open again.

  “Dane, wait a minute! Jane’s probably still at Jesse’s. I made breakfast. Come back.”

  But he didn’t. He walked barefoot across the stone drive like it was smooth as sand, no hitch or halt to his step no matter what he stepped on. When he reached his truck, he threw the boots inside and followed them in, then slammed the door shut. He didn’t look at me again.

  I didn’t go after him, afraid he’d make me feel way more foolish than he already had. I went back to the bedroom and got dressed, then left breakfast sitting in the pans and headed for the big house to help guests with their luggage. I took my truck so he couldn’t watch me walk down the road. It was childish I suppose, but I felt like I was protecting myself, even if it was only my pride. Still, I chanced a glance in the direction of his truck. I couldn’t see him, and I didn’t know whether that meant he’d gone into Jesse’s house or he was lying down on the front seat.

  It wasn’t until I had to dodge my first big puddle that I realized we must have had a serious storm overnight. Funny. I felt like I’d been rained on hard too.

  I MADE pleasant comments when required and tried not to let on to guests that my gut was hurting. I just concentrated on hauling bags. Nothing I carried was heavier than the uneasiness I felt. I could not figure what had happened.

  I had just loaded Brittany’s two weighty suitcases into her parents’ car when I heard someone coming up behind me. I spun around hoping it was Dane, but it was Brittany.

  “Hey, you’re all set. See you next year.” It was the same mindless thing I’d said to everyone.

  “You won’t,” she replied as she marched past me.

  “Huh?”

  “You won’t see me next year.” She opened the car door and got in. But she left the door open. “I’ve told my parents I’m not doing this vacation ever again.”

  “Aw, Brittany, come on. Nobody’s blaming you for how the ride ended.” She might be a difficult teen, but I didn’t want her beating herself up about the trail ride. I remembered being her age and wanting to be noticed. “You just didn’t want the fun to end. No one will even remember it next year.”

  “No next year,” she repeated. “And, like I care anyway.” She slammed the car door, hit the lock, and turned her back to me.

  When Brittany hit the horn, I jumped. When her parents didn’t hurry any, she hit it again. I moved off, looking around for more bags to haul.

  That’s when I spotted Dane on the walkway by the big house, squatting down to talk with Steve Sanderson. He listened for a long while, maybe said a few words. He stood up when Steve’s mom walked up, and he spoke to her. Then he patted Steve on the shoulder, smiled, and walked away. Steve had a big grin on his face, and Mrs. Sanderson wiped her eye as they both watched him head for one of the empty cabins.

  Obviously, he wasn’t mad at everybody.

  “Like I care anyway,” I said to myself. The heck with him.

  ONCE THE last guest was gone, I headed for the corral near my cabin, intent on spending time with Hurricane. Working with him would get my mind off things.

  I grabbed a halter, blanket, and saddle and stepped into the corral. Hurricane turned toward me and walked right over. Ending things on a positive note the past two days was clearly paying off with him.

  I spent a long time rubbing him with my hands and the rope, reminding him I was his friend. Then I slipped on the halter, and we went to work reviewing all we’d accomplished so far. By the time I had him switching from a walk to a lope and a canter and back down, he was licking his lips again in contentment.

  God, he was beautiful. His black mane and tail fluttered behind him. His movements were controlled and powerful. He glistened. He made the blue sky behind him brighter because he was under it.

  I stepped up to give him another good rubdown, and he nuzzled my shoulder.

  “So you’re going to turn into a lover on me, are you? And all because I treat you with kindness and firmness both? Tell me, would it work with a human, do you think?”

  His snort wasn’t much of an answer. I shouldn’t have expected more.

  “Okay. Let’s try one more thing today.”

  I brought the blanket and saddle into his line of sight and set them down in the corral in a dry patch between mud puddles so he could check them out. When he’d sniffed them all he wanted, I took up the blanket and slowly put it on his back. I settled some of my upper body weight on it too, to get him used to what came next. When it was clear he was calm with it, I sat the saddle on his back.

  This is where a horse can get really stuck. A trainer has to show the horse that he can still move his feet with a saddle on. Otherwise the horse has no place to go but up. As in bucking. Grabbing Hurricane’s halter rope, I backed him up and then had him move toward me again until I could touch his back on his right side. Slowly, I let the saddle cinch down. Then I backed him up and moved him forward again, so I could touch his left side. I eased my hand down his middle, grabbed the cinch, threaded the billet strap through, and pulled it tight. He was wearing a saddle now, firmly on, and he hadn’t snorted, bucked, or bitten me. Staying in place, using just the halter rope to guide him, I had him walk in a circle around me. Then I took off the rope.

  “Now, boy, it’s time for you to get used to the saddle.”

  I left the corral and watched him explore his new condition. He moved some, and the stirrups flapped and startled him like I knew they would. He jumped left and right, each movement getting him more used to the saddle’s weight and the stirrups’ movement. Eventually, he began to walk freely around the corral. Then I moved him to a pasture and left him alone for a couple hours to get to where that saddle felt as much a part of him as his tail was.

  “Nice job, Josh,” Jesse said as I walked past the barn. I hadn’t realized he’d been watching.

  “You think?”

  “You’re making fine progress.”

  “I need to.”

  “You had a lot to overcome.”

  “Yeah, Hanson. Why did he even bother to buy this horse?”

  “Only Hanson knows.” Jesse was quiet for a minute. Th
en he started in on another lecture. “I don’t care if you have to lie, don’t tell Hanson how you’re doing. You understand me?”

  Crap. Did he really think I couldn’t manage this thing on my own? But I didn’t want to get mad at him. I nodded and changed the subject.

  “Jane gone?”

  “Jane?”

  “Yeah, Jane. The girl you brought home last night.”

  “Little brother, you gotta catch up. I haven’t brought a girl home for a while now. I’ve changed my ways.”

  I didn’t believe him for a minute. My brother loved girls, all girls. “And why would that be?”

  “You’ll see.”

  I knew it was all he was going to say. It was like when we were kids and he was so secretive he wouldn’t tell me what he’d gotten Mom for Christmas.

  “Later,” he said and waved. “I’m heading out to check on the cattle behind your place.”

  IT WAS Saturday night, our one night without guests or kitchen and house help. Sarah, who stayed at the big house during the week because it was easier, had gone home to her apartment in Gardiner for the night.

  Uncle Karl, Aunt Kate, and I had just sat down to dinner in the big house kitchen when Jesse and Dane came in. Dane was careful not to look at me directly, even when I passed him the potatoes and roast beef.

  He and Jesse served themselves, and both ate several big forkfuls before Jesse began to talk.

  “I found a downed fence along the national forest line behind Josh’s house.”

  My gaze shot round the table. Jesse was calmly buttering a piece of bread. Uncle Karl was waiting to hear more. I’d been the last one to check that line.

  “Jesse, that line was fine when I checked it in June.”

  Jesse nodded. “Fence is fixed. No cattle missing,” he said between bites of the bread.

  “What do you figure did it?” Uncle Karl asked.

  “Not what. Who. Looks like a truck plowed it down to me.”

  “You’re kidding? And whoever did it didn’t bother to tell us?” Aunt Kate’s thick, silver braid flew across her back as she spun her head first toward Jesse, then at Uncle Karl.

  “Find any other clues?” he asked my brother.

  “Truck tracks in the mud, and red paint scrapes on one of the downed posts.”

  “Mud? They were up there today?”

  “I think so, Uncle Karl. Probably left just before I got there.”

  “Who’d have reason to be up there?” Dane asked.

  “Could be anybody,” Uncle Karl said. “That national forest access road is open to the public.”

  “It’s posted with signs indicating the property beyond the road is private,” Jesse explained. “Most people respect that.”

  “Were they after the cattle?” Dane asked.

  “I suppose that’s a possibility,” Jesse said. “Everybody in the valley knows that’s where part of our herd is this time of year. Only other things nearby are mine and Josh’s places.”

  “This doesn’t sound good,” Aunt Kate said. She had quit eating and pushed her plate away. Now she was biting her lower lip and clasping and unclasping her hands.

  Uncle Karl took one of them in his own, dwarfing it. Everything about Aunt Kate was petite. I forgot that sometimes because she was such a big presence in the running of the ranch.

  “Kate, don’t worry. It’s probably just kids. Or a tourist who got stuck in the mud, took out the fence, and took off.”

  He turned to Jesse. “Still, you and the hands move the cattle to near Coyote Hill Trail tomorrow.”

  “On it,” Jesse said. “I sent Eli and Ron up there to camp tonight. They’ve got radios and plenty of lights, and they’re armed.”

  My brother looked to Aunt Kate to reassure her. “I don’t think they’ll have problems. I just want them to be extra careful. I’ll check in on them too.”

  “Good.” Uncle Karl nodded and looked round the table. “Even after the cattle are gone tomorrow, everybody keep an eye out. Josh, you ride up there a couple times a week when you’re exercising horses. Not with guests, though. Jesse, you and the hands check it out on ATVs regular too. That should put an end to it if it’s not over already.”

  He turned to my aunt again. “And Kate, don’t worry. I think it’s nothing. I’m just being careful.”

  He looked around the table at each of us. “We keep this among ourselves for now.”

  Dane and Jesse took off right after dinner. I helped Aunt Kate with the dishes, and we did what we could to get some things ready for the guests and the week ahead.

  On the way home, when I went past Jesse’s, I could hear through an open window that he and Dane were watching a baseball game and having a good time too.

  I kept going, my mind wrapped up in images of Dane and me together, Dane grabbing me, touching me, fucking me, and ultimately pushing me away. Thinking it was all over already made my gut ache, and not from the punches he’d thrown.

  JESSE TOOK off early the next morning, and Dane avoided me by working on the guest cabins. I headed for Bozeman.

  After getting the horse gear I needed, I drove to Main Street and the storefront where my college buddy, Guy, had his art gallery, studio, and apartment. He was my first lover and still a friend with benefits.

  The gallery was closed, but I went around to the back door and knocked. After a while, the door opened a crack. Guy reached out and dragged me inside. Then he slammed the door behind us and locked it.

  “You owe somebody money, Guy?” As if. His parents had left him a nice inheritance.

  “No, silly. I just don’t want someone to see me and demand that I open the gallery.”

  He giggled in the high-pitched way he’d had as long as I’d known him. Heck, he’d probably done it since he was a baby. He sounded gay, and I often wondered if it caused him problems as a kid. By college, when I met him, he was wide-open out. He didn’t let anyone make an issue about that or the giggle, which was pretty amazing considering he was short. He was always upbeat and carefree. My aunt, when she met him, called him charmed.

  “I was wondering when you were going to stop by again.”

  He gave me a fake shy smile and shoved me up the stairs toward his apartment, his hands lingering on my ass. I picked up the pace, and he moved his hands to grab my waist as he jogged up the steps behind me. I opened the door at the top, and we were in his kitchen, a sunny, blue room filled with gleaming, spotless, stainless-steel appliances. Guy had to have every kitchen gadget ever made.

  “Have a seat, and I’ll get you a beer. Or do you want to fuck first?”

  I laughed and sat down at his table. “Let’s start with the beer. How are you?”

  “Moi?” He waved his hand. “I’m good. Just finished a cat portrait for a crazy woman who changed her mind five thousand times. But you know me, I can go any way anybody wants”—he winked at me—“so it was fine. Made more money off the changes too.

  “Oh! And one of my paintings has been accepted into a show in LA. It’s a competition really. Doing well could open new doors for me. Can you believe it?”

  He put an opened beer bottle in front of me, and I took a big swig before saying anything. He grabbed some fancy bottle of water and a bag of gourmet chips and sat down with me.

  “That sounds great. So, is it a nude man or a cat?”

  “Both! That’s what they like about it. Isn’t that fabulous?”

  He was as excited as a little kid. He still looked like one some days. Half Korean and half Japanese, Guy was lean but well-muscled, with wide, almond-shaped eyes and straight black hair always streaked with another color. Today, it was yellow, which worked since his last name was Gustavsson. He’d been adopted by two college professors working in Asia. His dad was an engineer. His mom was an artist too.

  “That’s great. When’s the show?”

  “November. I’m going to LA for it. Want to come along? We could have a great time. Check out the gay scene.”

  “You know I don’t leave
the valley much. But you can tell me about it when you get back.”

  “Aw, Josh, I would so love to have my own personal cowboy muscleman in the big city.” He batted his sleepy, dark brown eyes.

  “You know you will do just fine. You always do.”

  “You are so right.” He grabbed a few chips and pushed the bag toward me. “So what’s new with you?”

  He listened intently as I told him a bit about Hurricane, asking an occasional question. When I finished, he jumped up and made for one of the cabinets.

  “I almost forgot. I’ve got this new hot pepper dip you are just going to love with these chips. I found it in Denver last month.”

  He grabbed a jar, popped it open, and leaned in close to put it on the table. Then he grabbed a chip, scooped it through the dip, and fed it to me.

  “What do you think?”

  Whoa, but the pepper was hot. I inhaled another swig of my beer. Guy’s hands were on my shoulders now, and I leaned back into his chest. So many of my college nights with him had started this way.

  “I like it a lot,” I said, turning so I could look in his eyes. “You knew I would. Thanks for getting it for me.”

  I leaned closer and let him kiss me. Like always, he tasted minty. He moved his hand down my chest to my belt buckle. I was already hard, and he dropped his hand lower and gave me a squeeze.

  “Aha,” he whispered, “you’ve been needing to see me. It gets lonely on the range.”

  I wasn’t going to tell him otherwise, but yeah, I was needing him. It was like the night, and especially the morning, with Dane had opened up a big, aching want.

  “You know it.”

  His eyes twinkled. “Let’s go in the bedroom. I’ve redecorated.”

  I stood up and pulled him close. Like always, he smelled exotic. Sandalwood, he said. The height differential that wasn’t a problem in bed forced me to bend over so I could feather kisses along his jaw. I traced the path with my fingers, then grabbed his chin and pushed my tongue past his lips.

  Guy groaned dramatically, leaned into me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. As I explored his mouth, he ran his hands down my pants to squeeze my rear.