Forgotten

by Jessica Carbine

  "Hi, I'm Lee. Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked with a pleasant smile.

  "Not at all. I'm just meeting a couple of friends." She debated for a moment on whether to say more. She wasn't particularly interested in continuing her search for love just then, but she didn't want to seem stuck up. Politeness won out, "I'm Cassie, by the way."

  He smiled again. "Cassie. Nice to meet you. What's a pretty girl doing in a place like this?" He was probably just trying to be friendly, but it bothered her that men typically thought, because she was attractive, that she wasn’t a student, wasn't a serious student, or just wasn't very bright.

  "I'm studying electrical engineering and chemistry. How about you?" She smiled sweetly.

  "Both? Double-majoring?" He quickly tried to cover up his surprise to avoid being insulting. "That's... cool. I'm majoring in Sociology: you know, studying people. Do you know that Sociologists do all of the surveys you read about? Pretty much any statistic or census is done by us."

  Ooo, fascinating, she thought. But she managed to refrain from rolling her eyes. He was typical of the type of man interested in her: very attractive, but without many other qualities to recommend him.

  "Studying people would be very interesting," she said sincerely. “What’s one thing you’ve learned in your classes?” They discussed their classes for a moment before being interrupted by a friendly redhead.

  Looking at the distance between them, he slyly asked, "Hi! Sorry, but do you and your boyfriend mind if I sit at this table?"

  "Oh, he's not my boyfriend," she said to his satisfaction. She decided to throw him a bone since he had been smart enough to notice they were not sitting side by side, and courageous to come interrupt them. "I don't have a boyfriend; come sit down." She tried not to grin at the other man's annoyance. Not succeeding, she took a bite of her sandwich to hide her smile.

  "My name's Ryan, what's yours?"

  "I'm Cassie. We were just discussing Lee's classes." She gestured toward the sociologist. "He's a sociology major. What about you?"

  "Me? I'm in engineering. Mechanical." Cassie thought she heard Lee derisively snort.

  "Oh yeah, I think I've seen you around in the engineering buildings. I'm doing engineering, too. Electrical."

  "I know. Well, I didn't know you were in electrical, but I've wondered. We don't get too many beautiful girls hanging around the place. I think you alone have improved the smell. Too many guys!" He said with a laugh.

  She smiled, "Thanks, Ryan." It was a point of frustration for her how few women entered into engineering at her school.

  "So, Cassie," Lee reclaimed her attention, "Where do you live?"

  "Just in the dorms on the south side."

  They kept talking, each boy wondering how to get her number without getting it for the other one. It was about ten minutes later that Zach and Jenna arrived together, both with food. They looked at each other and rolled their eyes when they saw her table company.

  "Hi Cass,” Jenna said, her tone heavy with patience. "Mind if we join you?"

  "Of course not! Hey Lee, could you scoot over? These are my friends Jenna and Zach."

  Lee stood up.

  "Actually, I should get going. I have class across campus." He looked disappointed that he hadn't gotten any information to contact her.

  "Well it was fun to eat with you!" She said, not helping and not interested. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime."

  With a sudden inspiration, he replied, "If we don't, and you want to hang out sometime, give me a call! Here's my number!" He quickly tore off a fragment of paper from his notebook and jotted his phone number on it. "Text me," he said and he walked off.

  Cassie sat surprised for a moment. Then she pocketed the paper and turned to her friends.

  "Sorry, Ryan! You guys, this is Ryan. We just met."

  They chatted for a while, then Ryan asked for her number, took it and left.

  "Two at once?" Jenna said with an approving smile, hoping Cassie wouldn’t fall into depression this week.

  Zach, on the other hand, did not look happy. "I'm not surprised you end up with creeps like Craig when you give every guy your phone number,” he said crossly.

  "Hey, I only gave one my number. Fortunately, I was offered one as well!" She said, laughing as she waved the torn fragment around.

  "You know what I mean. You don't know these guys, they could be dangerous!" He said, full-on angry now.

  "Oh, they were nice!" She looked to Jenna for support.

  "I'm inclined to agree with Zach," she said apologetically, "You told me Craig was nice, too."

  "Listen to you, sassing me! I happen to know you go out with guys you don't know, too,” Cassie said, still cheerful and laughing.

  "Yes, but we tend to stay in public places."

  "Oh, like that was my fault! But if it makes you feel any better, I promise to jump out of the car next time a date starts driving down dark alleys. But I'm calling you to come pick me up, Zach!" She threatened.

  "I would not have a problem with that,” he said with a smug expression on his face.

  “Oh come on, lighten up! And stop bringing up last night," she groaned. "I'm trying to forget about it before my next class."

  "That's right. You didn't pick Craig up at lunch, you found him in your business class." Zach grinned.

  "I'm really sorry, hon. What are you going to do?" Jenna said, much more concerned than Zach.

  "Uh... come in late and hide in the back? At least for the first few days." She grimaced, it was a smaller class and she knew her plan would not do much good.

  “It’s hardly fair! You didn’t do anything wrong, he should be the one hiding,” Jenna said indignantly.

  “Well I think it serves you right,” Zach said. “Cassie, you really should take this more seriously. I know-”

  “Someone else is staring at you,” Jenna suddenly whispered quietly, interrupting Zach’s censure. She gestured surreptitiously with her head. "And I think he's listening. He was really entertained when you mentioned hiding."

  Cassie looked in the direction Jenna had nodded. Her mouth dropped. She wasn't sure if it was the same man as from the night before, but he was definitely the one under the trees. She recognized his navy shirt. She saw his face for the first time.

  He sits across the table from me, laughing at what I’d said. But his laughter is off. Forced.

  "Don’t make me do this to you. You belong with us. You've always belonged with me. Don't leave." He says, turning serious. “Just stay here. We’ll be back. Two months at the most.”

  I reach my hand across the table to hold his. "I can’t just wait. I have to go. But I'll be back. How could I not?" His sad eyes move to our hands and he nods reluctantly.

  "Hello? Cassie?"

  Cassie jumped in her seat, startling both of her friends. She looked around; the man was still sitting at his own table where he belonged. He continued to watch her, but his amusement had changed to concern.

  "Cass, are you okay?" Zach was at her elbow.

  "Yeah. Of course!" She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, did you ask me something?"

  She tried to pay attention to them, but she kept glancing back at the man.

  "I asked if you know him," Jenna repeated.

  He was still looking concerned, and something else. She wasn't sure what. Speculative? Curious?

  "Uh, no. I don't... I don't think so.” Cassie's eyes kept flashing back to him. Conflicted? She wondered, then came up with a plausible explanation. Ah, he probably thought about coming over, but now he thinks I'm insane. Or sick. Wonderful.

  "You guys done?" Jenna asked, slightly nervous.

  "Um... yeah." Stop staring at him! Cassie shouted at herself.

  "Then let's get out of here." Jenna quickly got up. They picked up their things, threw their trash away and left. The whole time the stranger watched Cassie. "That guy was creepy,” Jenna said in a whisper as they left.

  "What! Why?" Cassie asked, incredulous. Even though she'd
just hallucinated about him, she'd only thought of him as extremely attractive. She wondered again if it had been him the night before. And then, for the first time, she wondered what a man would be doing there all alone, shining his brights into another car. "He was pretty good-looking."

  "Seriously? He doesn't look at all like your type,” Zach said.

  Cassie didn’t know what Zach was talking about. The man was fine. His face did look oddly blank but there was no question he was beautiful. She loved his dark brown hair, his well-defined jaw and bright blue eyes.

  "Huh,” Cassie said noncommittally.

  "He does look different. I think it was the blankness of his face,” Jenna said quietly. "That's why I was freaked. That and he seemed to hypnotize you."

  "What do you mean?" She asked slowly, nervous

  "He was staring at you and you just froze for a couple of minutes," Jenna explained.

  "Didn't hear a thing we said,” Zach supplied.

  "Oh yeah." She tried to be cool. No need for them to discover her insanity. She lied by telling the truth. "I just thought I might have seen him before. He could have been the guy who saved me from Craig last night."

  "In the car with the lights?" Jenna asked.

  "Yeah. He might recognize me. I bet that's why he was staring." She was trying to convince herself as much as them. But she couldn't get her... what? Hallucination? Daydream? Whatever it was she couldn't get it out of her mind. It had seemed very real.

  "Oh. Well why didn't you go talk to him?" Jenna asked, no longer nervous. It made sense to her now. Cassie, still confused, quickly looked for an excuse.

  "I don’t know, I just wasn’t sure.” She paused, looking at her watch artfully. “Look at the time! We'll be late! I'll see you guys tonight!" And she rushed off to her class.

  Arriving at the door, she remembered Craig. She turned tail and went into the ladies’ room for a few minutes instead. Looking at her watch she realized that if she went in any later, the teacher would be talking and she would draw even more attention to herself. She opened the door and, trying not to look around, went for a seat at the back. Craig liked being the center of attention; he would definitely be in the front. After she sat down, she glanced around inconspicuously.

  No Craig! Yes! She thought. Maybe he was hiding from her. Sighing in relief, she retrieved her notebook from her backpack and set it on the desk.

  Chapter 2: Dreams

  Craig never came back to class. Cassie decided he must have dropped it. She certainly didn't mind. Nor did she see any more of the mystery man. Later in the week Cassie flipped from hot to cold. She hadn’t been depressed for over six months, but for the next couple of weeks she felt more depressed than normal. She shut herself away: only emerging for classes and meals, canceling all her dates. She hid in the deep corners of the library, the ones even employees rarely ventured into. She felt so lonely and abandoned; an unjustifiable feeling since she was the one doing the abandoning. She knew where the feeling came from, and she knew why. It started when she was 15, and back then it lasted continuously for over eight months. It was only with the help of her father that she’d pulled out of her depression in the first place. He’d convinced her that being whomever she wanted to be could be a gift, rather than a negative.

  As she went about doing her homework and avoiding people, her life went on as normal, except for two things. First, she frequently felt she was being watched, but she never actually saw anyone watching her. Second, she kept having dreams about the foreign place; they were full of color and images, and friends she didn't actually know.

  After three weeks of depression, she realized that her father, who was now dead, would be disappointed in her, and this forced her out of it. If there was any chance that he knew what she was doing, she wanted to make him proud. That same morning Cassie awoke remembering a few of the words spoken in her dream, Où étais-tu la nuit dernière. They were unfamiliar to her and she dismissed them as nonsense until breakfast.

  "Hey Jenna!" She said as she sat down to breakfast in the dorm cafeteria.

  “Cassie!” Jenna said in relief, making Cassie feel guilty. “I’ve missed you. You’re normally not out of it this long.”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure why, but don’t worry, I’m better. And it won’t happen again.” Jenna just nodded, Cassie always said that. Though, to be fair, the episodes had gotten less common over the years.

  “What’s for breakfast?” Cassie asked. Then, for no particular reason, she repeated the words, "Où étais-tu la nuit dernière."

  Emily, sitting next to Jenna, said in surprise, "I didn't know you spoke French!"

  Cassie gaped.

  "She doesn't," Jenna said. "What'd you say? And who'd you learn it from?"

  "I... I have no idea." Cassie was confused, "Does that actually mean something, Emily?"

  "Yes. ‘Where were you last night?' Simple enough. Who said it?"

  "No one. Well, someone said it in my dream last night. Everyone was speaking in the same language, but I didn't recognize anything. I didn't think it was real." Cass felt foolish, but she knew that, out of anyone, Jenna would believe her.

  "Seriously? You dreamed in French?" Jenna asked.

  “No.” Cassie protested immediately. But then, puzzled, “I guess so.”

  "That's crazy!"

  Emily looked back and forth between them, with a skeptical expression.

  "I know, I don't understand it! For the past few weeks I’ve been having the same kind of dreams. I’m in this foreign city where everyone is speaking some foreign language. I figured it was gibberish since I've never been anywhere like that." Her mother lived in Virginia, and she hadn’t left home much except for school.

  "I don't think that is possible," Emily said, still wondering if they were serious.

  "I don't know how it's possible, unless... could it be from before?" Jenna asked excitedly.

  Cassie started. She hadn't thought about that. She generally tried not to. Not many people knew, and she deliberately tried to exclude Emily from the conversation now, speaking quietly, "I doubt it. My parents and I never left the east coast, even before. And it was definitely a foreign place." She continued, convincing herself, "Besides, I was an adult. Everyone around me was an adult. And I was fifteen when..." She trailed off with a meaningful glance at Emily.

  "Well maybe your parents took you to a French restaurant, and you're just applying your dream to the background conversation there. You could always try asking your mom,” offered Jenna.

  "Yeah, good idea. Thanks." Cassie tried to drop it before Emily could get any more curious. Emily was one of Jenna’s friends that resented Cassie for ignoring her half of the time, and for getting dates so often. Probably more the latter. And Emily wasn’t one to disguise her feelings. At any rate, Cassie had no intention of asking her mother. Her parents had always hated it when she brought up the accident or the time before it. Like they felt it was their fault. They'd only ever given her meager facts about her life before it happened. Cassie and her mother hadn’t even brought it up since her father died a couple of years before.

  “Cass, this is so exciting! This is a first!” Jenna said happily.

  Cassie quietly ate her waffles until Jenna, sensing her unease, brought up the girls’ night they had planned for later in the week.

  “Come on, Cassie! I want to find Michelangelo’s statue!” A dark-haired girl says, tugging on my arm. I hold back for a few more seconds, still staring at a painting, hanging on the wall. It is of the dead virgin, surrounded by mourners.

  “My gosh, Caravaggio was a genius,” I murmur, finally allowing myself to be pulled away. “I love his use of light, or more accurately, his use of shadow.”

  “I know,” She acknowledges. “But we haven’t seen the sculptures at all and we have to leave in an hour!”

  We hurry through the hallways. She doesn’t allow me any time at all to try to stop and see Rubens’ Medici Cycle. I wish I knew French, there is a French-speaking guide
talking about one of the pictures in the cycle. I sigh. She is right, I suppose. The statues here are amazing, too. We walk more slowly when we reach the hallways of sculptured pieces. By the time we finally get to Michelangelo’s Dying Slave we only have ten minutes before we have to leave.

  “We could just stay for another hour, couldn’t we?” I ask, tentatively. “Professor White would be ashamed of us! I mean, after all, isn’t that why we stayed behind?”

  I am pleased to be here instead of on a plane back to the States with the rest of our class. Thank goodness for that scholarship!

  “I know, and I wish we could. But no way. He’d freak out if we weren’t there exactly on time,” she responds unhappily. “Look at it. Sculpture is amazing. It’s like creating life.”

  After a few more minutes, we are hurrying again and I’m not complaining. I’d never admit it to her, but he intimidates me.

  “There he is!” She says, pulling me toward him and the street.

  I look up, feeling tense.

  A car behind me honks. I jump, opening my eyes to a white wall.

  The rising Pennsylvania sun shone through her window; outside of it, the trees were blossoming and birds were singing.

  “What the?” Cassie asked herself, feeling disoriented. It took her a moment to focus. “It was just a dream.”

  But despite her attempt to convince herself, she couldn’t shake the feeling of reality that the dream had impressed on her. Determined to prove her mind wrong, she turned her computer on, looking up French artwork. The Louvre was the first thing that popped up. She went to a comprehensive list of the works there. Specifically, she looked for Caravaggio and Michelangelo. Unfortunately, she immediately found Death of the Virgin, a painting identical to the one in her dream. She also found Michelangelo’s sculpture and Rubens’ collection of paintings.

  "How unoriginal I'm becoming!" She thought with a nervous chuckle. But even as she did so, she reached for her phone to call her mom.