Ride Rough

by Laura Kaye

  “I . . . am really freaking aroused now. Keep talking,” he said, his eyebrow arched, that smug smile returning.

  She reached for his jeans and tugged the button open. “About what? Should I talk about how much I love your cock? How amazing it feels inside me?”

  Nick licked his lips, a kind of amused disbelief filling his gaze. “Yes, definitely talk about that. Like, a lot.”

  Grinning, Becca bit her lip and pushed off the desk. Walking backward, she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his jeans and pulled him along with her toward the bedroom. With her other hand, she grasped his hard length, squeezing just enough to wring a grunt out of him. “Come put this inside me, Nick, and I’ll say absolutely anything you want.”

  NICK FELT LIKE he hadn’t seen Becca in forever, despite the fact that they’d woken up together this morning. But that had been fifteen hours ago—before he’d spent all day working with the guys to install the carpet in their new offices. As much as possible, they were trying to do the work on the business suite to allow the contractor to stay focused on the much bigger project of the building. Given Jeremy’s ability to figure out pretty much any home improvement project, Beckett’s electrical know-how, and Marz and Charlie’s expertise with all the wiring and secure computer hookups they needed done, they were in pretty good shape.

  In the meantime, all of them had been working their contacts to get word out about the new security consulting services they’d be offering. Beckett, Marz, and Shane had already been working in various aspects of the field and had ready clients to reach out to. Having worked for years as a computer security consultant hacking into corporations’ systems to find their weaknesses, Charlie turned out to be an amazing asset in making new contacts. All of which was keeping them on track for a targeted post–Labor Day opening date, which would give Nick and Becca two weeks for their honeymoon in Italy and another two for Nick to be back and helping with all the last-minute prep.

  Nick’s and Beckett’s cell phones dinged an incoming message at about the same time, and both of them paused where they knelt on the floor to check their phones. Since Becca and Kat had gone shopping together after Becca’s half-day shift, Nick didn’t have to guess at who it was.

  On the way home. Be there in about twenty! xo

  “Aw, look at you two,” Shane said, his tone full of sarcasm. “Stop chitchatting with the ladies and let’s get this shit finished.”

  “You are as pussy-whipped as any of us, McCallan, so shut the fuck up,” Beckett said as he shoved his phone in his back pocket. Ah, it was so nice that they were all getting along so good again. Just like old times. In all the best ways.

  From the next room where Marz and Charlie were working on some wiring, Charlie called, “For the record, I am not as pussy-whipped as the rest of you.”

  Silence rang out for a moment, and then they all lost their shit. Just flat-out, tear-inducing laughter that had every one of them clutching their guts. Charlie fucking Merritt was coming out of his shell, that was for goddamn sure.

  Wiping the tears from his eyes, Nick managed to get to two feet and make it to the doorway, where he found Marz red in the face with hilarity and Jeremy pressing a big kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth. The affection his brother and soon-to-be brother-in-law bore for each other made Nick happy, it really did. Because Nick had never seen Jeremy settle down like this before—with a man or a woman, and he’d dated both. And no matter how much Nick admired so many other things about Becca and Charlie’s father—the team’s former commander—Nick would never understand the homophobic bullshit Frank Merritt had apparently rained down on Charlie from the moment he’d come out. So Charlie deserved this chance to be happy and loved and accepted. By all of them. And, amazingly, they all fit together like clockwork—even Jeremy and Charlie, who hadn’t been part of their team.

  They were now.

  Beckett joined Nick in the doorway, his bright blue eyes gleaming. “Tou-fucking-che, Charlie.”

  Because he had his hair pulled back in some sort of a bun thing, the red covering Charlie’s face was crystal clear, but the guy was smiling as Marz slapped him on the knee.

  Everyone got back to work, shooting the shit as they finished up the last of the carpeting.

  From where he knelt in the corner, Easy ran his dark hand over his short-trimmed hair and looked around the nearly finished space. “This is all really coming together.”

  “Yes, it is,” Nick said. Right now, it was all plain white walls and industrial gray carpeting, but they’d come a helluva long way from the cement floor, exposed ceilings, and cinder-block walls that had stood there just a few weeks before. “Thanks to the hard work you all have been putting in.”

  “I’m glad to do it,” Easy said. “It’s good to be busy. And it’s really fucking good to feel like I’m part of something again.”

  Nick, Easy, Beckett, and Shane all traded looks and nodded. Every one of them felt the same way after the ambush, the other-than-honorable discharge, having their reputations tarnished, and being scattered to the four winds once they’d returned stateside.

  “Amen, brother,” Shane said, clapping Easy on the shoulder.

  When the other three men cleared out, Nick went into the next room to see how the wiring job was coming. “Almost done?” he asked Marz.

  “Yeah, hoss. Maybe just another half hour,” Marz said. Charlie nodded.

  “Anything I can do to help?’ Nick asked.

  “Nope, we’re good. If you see Em, just let her know I’ll be up in a bit.” Kneeling in front of some cables sticking out of the wall, Marz kneaded absentmindedly at his thigh.

  Nick frowned. “You okay?” Sometimes you could almost forget about Marz’s amputation because the guy never let it slow him down, even when he should.

  “Hmm?” Marz looked up from the complicated jack he was working on. “Oh, yeah. No worries. Damn leg just gets cranky if I spend much time on the floor.”

  “I told you I’d do that.” Charlie paused what he’d been coding on his laptop to look at Marz.

  “I’m fine. And this is the last one anyway. Go see your bride-to-be.” Marz looked up at Nick with a grin.

  Nick nodded. “All right. Later.” He stepped through the back door out into the warm July night and nearly walked into Beckett. “Sorry. What’s the matter?” Nick asked, noticing the serious expression Beckett wore.

  Beckett shook his head. “I just made Becca cry.”

  Frowning, Nick glanced around the otherwise empty parking lot. Kat’s car was there, so they were back. “What?” he asked, heading toward the door to the main part of the Hard Ink building.

  Beckett fell into step beside him. “I came up behind her and Kat out here, and when Becca noticed me, she freaked out. Nearly jumped out of her skin. At first she tried to play it off, but then she got upset and ran inside.”

  Nick punched the code into the keypad, and they stepped into the concrete-and-metal stairwell that led to Hard Ink on the first floor and their apartments and the gym on the upper floors. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s fine.”

  Beckett gave him a doubtful look but nodded. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

  Clapping him on the arm, Nick shook his head. “I’ll take care of her.” They parted ways as Nick let himself into his apartment and Beckett made his way upstairs. The big open kitchen and living room were empty. “Becca?” he called, an urgent need to see her and make sure she was okay flowing through him.

  No answer. He went straight for their rooms at the back of the apartment.

  “You need to tell him,” someone said. Kat.

  “I agree,” came another voice. Emilie?

  Nick rounded the corner into his office to see Becca sitting on his sofa, her face wet with tears. Kat and Emilie sat on either side of her. Nick’s gut dropped to the floor. “Tell me what?”

  CHAPTER 7

  Nick nailed Becca with a stare. As he watched, she made a valiant effort to button up just how
upset she was, and that made him worry even more. He knelt down in front of her, his hands on her knees. “What’s going on?”

  She shook her head, and his heart fucking broke as he saw her struggle to find her voice and hold back the tears.

  Kat grasped something from Becca’s lap and held it out to him. “Someone left this in front of Becca’s locker at work today.”

  Frowning, Nick accepted the small, floppy, black-and-brown stuffed animal into his hand. He guessed it was supposed to be a German shepherd, and the damn thing was missing a leg. It looked like someone had cut the back leg off and stapled the opening closed. What the hell?

  “Look at the neck, Nick,” Kat said, her voice serious.

  He flipped it around, and that was when he noticed that the animal was so floppy because the head was connected to the body only by a thin strip of material along the back. He might not have thought much about that if someone hadn’t gone to the trouble of spray painting the torn opening red. As if the neck had been slit. “Sonofabitch,” he said, hot prickles running down his back. “Talk to me, Sunshine.”

  She heaved a deep breath. “I found it at the end of my shift,” she said. “I went to get my stuff, and this was sitting upright on the floor in front of my locker. I thought someone had left me a present until . . .”

  “This is fucking twisted,” Kat bit out.

  The words echoed Nick’s own thoughts. Twisted and threatening. The removed leg was clearly meant to communicate that the person knew Becca’s dog had only three legs, which made the threat personal and specific. “Did you talk to security about this?” he asked, making sure to keep his voice even.

  Becca shook her head. “I was so freaked out, I just wanted to get out of there.”

  “I didn’t know about this until just now, or I would’ve brought us home earlier,” Kat said.

  “I’m sorry,” Becca said, turning to Nick’s sister. “I just wanted to forget about it for a few hours.”

  “I know,” Kat said. “You don’t have to apologize, but I’m worried about this.”

  Nick nodded. “Can you think of anyone at the hospital who would do this? Who would have a problem with you?”

  “I know some people are upset that I’ve asked for time off for the wedding and our honeymoon after being on leave for two months.” Becca scrubbed her face with her hands. “I overheard some women talking at the nurses’ station yesterday. But I can’t imagine anyone doing something this cruel. And twisted. Kat’s right.”

  “I don’t like it, Becca,” Nick said, his hackles all up. “I don’t like it at all. I’d like to go with you tomorrow to talk to hospital security. They need to know.”

  She gave a quick nod. “Okay.”

  “Is this why you freaked out when Beckett came up behind you out back?” he asked.

  Becca sagged back against the couch. “Partly.”

  Nick frowned, his instincts flaring. “What’s the other part?”

  The quick look Becca exchanged with Emilie had Nick’s gut twisting with worry, especially when Em gave her a small nod. “I know it’s ridiculous,” Becca said in a small voice, “but I keep thinking I’m seeing Woodson.”

  The words hung there for a moment and rushed ice through Nick’s veins.

  Emilie got up and gestured for Nick to sit. He slid onto the couch next to Becca. He’d barely put his arm around her shoulders when she buried her face against his chest, her arm clutching his neck. Her shoulders shook with restrained tears. “Aw, Becca,” he said, his heart absolutely aching. How had he not seen this?

  “I’m sorry,” she rasped.

  He locked eyes with Kat, whose expression was every bit as concerned and upset as he felt. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. You hear me?”

  A quick nod against his chest.

  Guilt flooded into his gut. Why hadn’t he ever considered that the attempted abductions might have traumatized Becca? She’d been so strong through it all that he’d just assumed she was fine. No wonder she’d asked him what had happened to Woodson. Yet, once again, he hadn’t probed deep enough. “Shit, I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He stroked her hair.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head as she pulled away. Her face was red and wet and her eyes were puffy, but she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “How could you have known? It just felt so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say anything.”

  “Tell me what’s been going on,” he said, cupping her cheek in his palm and swiping at her tears with his thumb.

  She gave a shy little shrug. “I keep thinking I see him. One minute he’s there, and the next he’s not. At random times. Around the hospital. On the street. Tonight at the mall I kept feeling like someone was watching me, but of course no one was there. Just like no one’s ever there. I was just freaked out about the stuffed animal. After all that, Beckett just scared me and everything kinda crashed in on me.” The words spilled out of her in a rush.

  “It’s not ridiculous, Becca,” Emilie said. “It’s PTSD.” Before all this, Emilie had worked as a clinical psychologist at a local university. Given the shit all of them had been through, she’d been an incredible resource for the whole team these past months.

  “But I was fine,” Becca said, looking from Nick to Emilie to Kat. “I was fine after it happened.”

  “The crisis of the investigation probably kept your brain otherwise focused. But then you went back to the scene of the abduction, and you were out on your own for the first time in months.” Emilie knelt where Nick had been. “Your nervous system is finally trying to process what happened to you. The anxiety, the reliving of the event, the spontaneous memories, the paranoia. These are all normal given what you went through.”

  The list of symptoms lashed at Nick’s soul. He hated that Becca was hurting. Was the shit that had happened in Afghanistan never going to stop raining down on them? “She’s right,” Nick said, taking Becca’s hand. “How frequently has this been happening?”

  Becca frowned, and her gaze went distant. “Maybe a half dozen times since I started back to work.”

  “Aw, Sunshine,” Nick said. He hated that she’d been carrying this all by herself. But no more. “What can I do to help?”

  “I don’t know,” Becca said. “I know it’s not real. But I can’t seem to make it stop.”

  “It’s gonna take time,” Emilie said. “I can help you with some techniques to reduce and combat anxiety. Or you might consider seeing a therapist at the hospital.”

  “Okay,” Becca said. “I’d like to talk to you, I think.”

  Emilie nodded.

  “Maybe you should consider taking off even earlier than you planned,” Kat said. Nick could’ve hugged her, because his thoughts were running in the same direction. But the last thing Becca needed was for him to be an overprotective asshole right now.

  “I only have four and a half more shifts,” Becca said. “I’d hate to bail on everyone last minute.”

  “Becca,” Kat said, taking her other hand. “You’re always taking care of everyone else. You have to let us take care of you, too.”

  “I know,” Becca said in a small voice. “I think if we address this stuffed animal with the hospital and I’m talking to Emilie, I’ll feel better.”

  “That’s a good start,” Nick said. “But until you take off, I’m walking you in and out of the hospital at the beginning and end of your shifts. If you have wedding errands you need to do, I want to be at your side. And, hey,” he said, gently turning her face toward him. “Please talk to me. I can’t be there for you if you don’t let me know what you need.”

  Nodding, Becca gave him a look that nearly broke his fucking heart. “I just didn’t want to worry you.”

  He lifted her left hand to his mouth and kissed her ring, then he pressed her hand to his heart. “Taking care of you is my job, Sunshine. For the rest of my life. In good times and in bad, remember?”

  Glassiness filled her eyes. “Yeah.”

  Ka
t rose, and Emilie followed suit. “We’ll give you guys some time alone,” Kat said. She leaned over and pressed a kiss against the top of Becca’s head. “I had fun shopping with you, sis.”

  It was the first smile he’d seen from Becca since he’d walked into the room. “I had fun with you, too, Kat,” Becca said. “You’re going to be the best sister ever.”

  “Hey, I already am,” Kat said with a grin. She and Emilie left.

  “Can we get ready for bed?” Becca asked in a small voice. “I’d really like to just lay down with you.”

  “Of course,” Nick said, helping her up. They got changed without talking much, then he climbed into bed and held his arm open to her. Becca crawled in alongside his body and fitted herself tight against his side, like she always did. She fit so fucking perfectly against him. Nick stroked his fingers through her hair. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t talk to me. About anything.”

  “I know. I do feel like I can,” Becca said, shifting to meet his gaze. Her eyes were so blue. “I should’ve said something sooner. I’m sorry.”

  “I get it,” Nick said. “I do. But the best thing about having a team is you get help carrying the load. You and me. We’re a team now.”

  Becca smiled. “Always and forever.”

  “That’s fucking right.”

  “I won’t forget again,” she said.

  “You didn’t forget, Sunshine. You’re still just getting used to the idea. Me too.” He hugged her in against him. “It’s hard to lean on someone else when you’ve been so used to walking on your own.”

  She nodded. “I love you, Nick.”

  “I love you, too. There’s nothing to worry about. I promise you,” he said. And Nick was going to do whatever it took to make that the truth.

  WHILE BECCA WAS in the shower the next morning, Nick let the guys know what was going on. Standing around the island in the kitchen, he said, “Becca is dealing with some PTSD from the abduction attempts. Probably triggered by returning to work, the scene of the first attack. And she keeps thinking she’s seeing Woodson.”