Saved By Her

by Michelle Horst

  She doesn’t go to the chapel. When she gets to the river she sits down, just staring out over the water.

  “I was fourteen,” she suddenly whispers. “I made the choice of having sex with one of the stable boys. I knew it would only be a matter of time before father sold me.” I walk closer and then sit down next to her. “My first time was awful and it hurt. We didn’t know what we were doing. But none of that mattered. I just wanted to get rid of my virginity.” She starts to pick at the grass, pulling out one blade after the other. “He found out.” She looks at me, tears making her eyes shimmer like the water in the river. “Jack, he got so mad! He made us have sex again. It … it was horrible. He watched all of it. I’ve never felt so degraded in my life, and then as the boy came father shot him. There was blood everywhere. I felt as he died, his body going limp on top of mine.” She wipes at the tears and then her shoulders hunch forward and she starts to sob. “Because of me that boy died.”

  Her father betrayed her like David betrayed me. I now understand her a little better. I stay with her and eventually she stops crying. We both just sit and stare into the night. A lot has been said between us. It feels like I’ve connected with her in some way.

  ~*~

  The next day everything is back to normal and our fight is forgotten. I spend the day working with the bonsai trees. They need a lot of patience and care. I need more manure for the plants, so taking the wheelbarrow I make my way over to where the cattle are. I shovel some into the wheelbarrow and then stop when I hear something. It’s coming from the building.

  I walk closer and when I hear the familiar grunts of someone having sex I go cold. I find myself standing in the doorway and my eyes sweep through the building. There’s lots of hay everywhere. My eyes dart up and then I see them. I think their names are Maddie and Christopher. The longer I stare at them, the more I release that what they are doing is different from what I’m used to seeing. Christopher is on top of Maddie, and he’s looking at her with such a soft expression.

  He slides into her softly and slowly, and her body arches up into his. She’s holding onto his arms, while making sounds of pleasure. I watch as she comes and then he follows. He doesn’t get up and dismiss her, but instead holds her, whispering to her.

  I quickly leave, before they see me. I’ve seen hundreds of people having sex, but never in my life have I seen something like that. Never have I felt like I was intruding on something I shouldn’t be seeing.

  Trying to digest what I just saw, I go back to shoveling manure into the wheelbarrow. I go about my day with the couple dominating my thoughts.

  I now have my dinner in the kitchen with River. We’re just about to eat when the couple from the barn comes in. I duck my head, scared that they’ll find out that I watched them.

  Once they’ve left the kitchen, I relax and start to eat my food.

  “How was your day?” River asks.

  She asked me the same question yesterday as well. “The same as yesterday.”

  She laughs and then says, “I know you did gardening, but I’d like to know what you did.”

  “Oh.” I cut a piece of the chicken and pop it in my mouth. While chewing I think on what to say. I swallow and decide to go with something safe. “I trimmed the bonsai. I watered them. I needed some more manure for the new pots, so I went to get some.”

  I feel my cheeks flush as thoughts of the couple having sex in the barn flash through my mind.

  “What?” River asks.

  There is a soft smile playing around her lips. I lean closer to her and whisper, “I saw a couple having sex.”

  She frowns and asks, “Did it upset you … seeing that?” She takes a bite of her potato while I think her question over.

  Did it upset me? I don’t think so.

  “No, it didn’t.”

  She’s just taken a bite of her chicken and asks around a mouth full of food, “Did it turn you on?”

  Again, I think hard and then answer, “No, but I think they broke my cock.”

  She chokes on the sip of lemonade she just took. I pat her back lightly and when she recovers she looks at me very seriously. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because it doesn’t get hard anymore.”

  She places her knife and fork down and pushes her plate back. She crosses her arms on the table and asks, “How did you get it up then?”

  “They gave me pills to take before a party or meeting.”

  Her eyes go wide. “Oh … I see. So, ahh … when last did you get hard by yourself?”

  I sit back and I have to think hard. “I think it was a few months ago.”

  “And orgasms?”

  I drop my head in shame and whisper, “The Saturday after the party.”

  I feel her hand on my chin and she nudges me to look at her. “Why are you hiding from me, Jack?”

  “I’m ashamed.”

  She drops her hand and shakes her head. “It’s not your fault, Jack. None of what happened to you was your fault.”

  “It was the one thing she couldn’t get from me. I was proud of myself every time I left a meeting without coming. But that night I just couldn’t hold out. She made me come twice and…” I drop my head again, feeling another wave of shame engulf me.

  “Who was it?”

  I close my eyes and force the name out, “Mistress Westbrook.”

  I hear River gasp and then the weirdest thing happens. She gets up and falling to her knees beside my chair she grabs hold of my hand. “Look at me, Jack!”

  My eyes meet hers and I see them shimmer. I don’t understand why she’s sad.

  “That woman is pure evil. Did she use those bands on you?”

  I nod. River gets up and she shoves a hand behind her neck, looking flustered and angry. “That bitch!” Her eyes come back to me and she says pleadingly, “That had to be so awful for you but please, Jack, you have to know that it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong!”

  A tear rolls down her cheek and I get up. I walk closer to her and looking down at the tear rolling over her chin, I ask, “Why are you crying?”

  She takes my hand and holds it in hers. I like it when she holds my hand. “I’m crying because I’m hurting for you, Jack. I wish I could have saved you from all the horrors you’ve seen and were made to endure.” She drops my hand and then her arms go around my waist and she presses her face into my chest. At first my body stiffens, but then she whispers, “I’m crying because I care about you and I hate to see you feel ashamed for something that was outside of your control.”

  I lift my arms and for the first time since Momma died, I hug someone because I want to and not because I was told to do so.

  ~*~

  Chapter Twelve

  River~

  In the early hours of the morning I’m woken by someone screaming. I throw the covers back and run out of my room. Some of the doors open and one after another heads pop out to see what’s going on.

  “Get back to bed!” I snap and then I open Jack’s door. I close it behind myself and switch on the light. I rush over to his bed. I sit down next to his thrashing body and shake his shoulder. “Jack, wake up!”

  Another scream tears from him and it instantly brings tears to my eyes.

  “Jack,” I shake him harder. “Please wake up!”

  His whole body jerks and then he shoots up. Our bodies collide hard and his arms go around me. He holds me with a death grip, his face buried in my neck. I can feel his tears wetting my skin and it makes my own fall.

  “It’s okay,” I hold him tightly, offering him all the strength I have. “It was just a dream, Sweetheart. You’re safe.”

  He shakes his head and then chokes out, “It wasn’t a dream, River.”

  He just said my name! My happiness is short lived when he sobs, “I keep seeing it. I keep seeing them burn Momma.”

  “Oh no!” I pull him back so I can see his face. “Jack, they made you watch?”

  “It was right before they put me with the other
slaves. I thought she was sleeping, but she had died during the night. Cameron and his guards came in and took her. They burned her body. I tried to save her.” He lifts his left hand and I see the faint burn marks.

  “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” I pull him into a hug again and just hold him.

  His voice is muffled against my neck as he whispers. “I saw you tonight. They were burning you.”

  “That will never happen!” I press a kiss to his ear and whisper, “We’re safe here, Jack.”

  We sit for a while longer when I pull away. “You need to try and sleep some more.”

  I get up and switch the light off, when Jack whispers, “Will you stay with me?” I hear him hesitate. “Like you did the night of the party. That was nice.”

  I walk back to his bed and crawl in next to him. It’s a single bed so there’s not much space.

  “We had a huge bed to work with that night.” I pull his arm around my shoulders and place my head in the crook of his shoulder. I have to press close to him so I don’t go falling off the side.

  Jack turns on his side and both his arms go around me. The lengths of our bodies are pressed tightly against each other, and his chin is resting on top of my head.

  We cling to each other until we fall asleep.

  ~*~

  Jack keeps having those nightmares and it keeps waking everyone. At dinner I decide to approach the subject carefully.

  “Do you have the nightmares often?”

  He nods and then says, “Sometimes they aren’t as bad.”

  “I was thinking,” I push the peas around in my plate not sure I should ask, but then I throw caution to the wind, “do you want to share a room with me?” He looks at me with a dark frown and I hope I didn’t just ruin all the progress we’ve made. “I mean just to sleep. I have to get up when you have a nightmare and that way I’ll be right there. It’s just to sleep and so you won’t be alone at night.”

  A smile tugs at his lips and it makes him look gorgeous. He’s healed a lot in the three weeks he’s been here.

  He looks at my plate and then says, “Are you going to have your peas?”

  “Ahh …” I look down at my plate and then shake my head, “No, I don’t like them.”

  “I don’t like the lemonade that much. I’ll swap you.”

  My mouth drops open. “But you’ve been drinking it for weeks!”

  “You gave it to me.”

  I quickly take his glass of lemonade and place my plate in front of him, then I get up and pour him a glass of orange juice. “Wait, do you like OJ?”

  “Yes,” he nods excitedly. “Very much.”

  I place the glass in front of him and then drink the lemonade. When we’re done with dinner and we get up, I nervously ask, “So you’ll be sleeping in my room tonight?”

  He nods again before he leaves the kitchen.

  I need some alone time to get over the nervous feeling fluttering inside my chest. I have no reason to be nervous around Jack. I run to get my shirt and shorts I sleep in and quickly duck into the bathroom. I take my time in the bath, shaving and washing my hair.

  I get out of the bath and towel myself dry and then smear some body lotion on. Midway with my left leg I freeze. Why did I shave? I only shave once a week, because I never cared what I look like before.

  I look in the mirror and for the first time ever I wonder how others see me. Am I pretty to them?

  ~*~

  When I come out of the bathroom, Jack’s sitting on the side of the bed. He quickly stands and runs his hands over the front of his thighs. It’s a nervous habit he has.

  The first night I slept with him, I found out that he sleeps in the nude. I made him wear boxers the following night.

  I walk closer and look over his legs. There are still lots of scabs, but their shrinking every day.

  “You’ll be as good as new in no time,” I say and then I throw the covers back. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, Jack. If you want to sleep here then get in, if you would rather sleep in your room then go sleep there. You always have a choice.”

  He looks around the room and then says, “Your room is very purple.”

  I start to laugh at his statement. “I like purple. Not dark or overly bright, but a soft purple. It’s actually more a violet than a purple color.”

  He gets under the covers and moves closer to me. I reach over and put the lamp off just in time, when Jack takes hold of my hips and pulls me right against his body.

  “The bed is big. We don’t have to lie so close to each other.” I don’t want him to feel pressured in any way.

  He places his chin on top of my hair, and his arms wrap tightly around me. “I like sleeping like this.”

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jack~

  Over the weeks I’ve fallen into a routine of some sorts. Every day I have brunch with Miss Ella and Sophia. In the late afternoon I have my writing and reading lessons and then dinner with River. I don’t talk to the others much. I get to see Sophia at brunch, so we catch up then.

  Sometimes I’ll run into Adam and he’ll ask me how I’m doing, but other than that we don’t talk. I’m glad everyone is leaving me alone.

  Today I’m going to make a garden around the side of the stables. I’m busy shoveling my second wheelbarrow of manure, when I hear them again. I can’t help but sneak closer. The other day I discovered a hole I can look through. That way they won’t see me.

  They like the spot on the hay. Christopher is busy kissing Maddie. They were the first people I saw kissing. I’ve seen a lot in my life, but never people kissing. I can stare at them for hours when they kiss.

  “Jack?” I whip around with fright. Tristan is looking at me with a smile on his face. He knows that I was watching them. I drop my eyes as embarrassment washes over me. I feel like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

  Tristan points behind him. “The girls need some help carrying some fruits back to the house. Would you mind helping them? I would, but I need to check on Diane. She’s come down with the flu.”

  “Sure. I leave the wheelbarrow filled with half a load of manure and go to the piece of farmland they use to grow the fruits.

  The women are all standing around a basket filled with all kinds of fruits. Beverly walks towards me, with greedy eyes. I’ve seen that look so many times when I had to satisfy a mistress or master.

  “Jack, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” she purrs and it makes the hair on the back of my neck rise. She hooks her arm through mine and before we can reach the others she whispers, “You must be tired of old River. You’re welcome to come keep my bed warm any day.”

  I stop and stare down at her. “It’s summer. Why would you need a warm bed?”

  She slaps my shoulder and giggles, “No, Silly! I don’t mean that.” She presses her ample breasts up against my chest. “I was thinking we could have some fun.”

  Her hand slithers down my abs and then she grabs my cock.

  “I’d love to take you in my mouth and make you come, and then you can return the favor.”

  I shake my head. I don’t know how to process any of this. Normally I’d strip and let her have her way but everything inside of me is rebelling at the thought. I slap her hand away from me and stumble backwards, and then I turn around and run.

  I run as fast as I can and when I pass the kitchen I hear Miss Ella call after me, but I keep going.

  I keep going until I hit the stretch of sand. When I stop I find myself standing knee deep in water.

  ~*~

  I don’t know what time it is. I eventually got out of the water and walked over to the chapel. I’ve been sitting here just watching the day go by.

  I’m staring up at the sky and watching the stars come out. I hear movement behind me and I swear if it’s one of those women I will kill someone today!

  “Jack,” I hear River whisper. My shoulders slump and I let my head hang. Tears flood my eyes and spill down my cheeks.

&
nbsp; “Oh, Jack,” she whispers as she sits down next to me, “I’m so sorry that happened to you. Jamie told me. I had Kyle escort Beverly off the property. She won’t be around to do that again.”

  The tears fall faster and I grab River. I hold her tightly and let the tears flow. So many things have been done to me but for some reason today’s incident hit the hardest. I realize it’s because I was starting to feel safe here. River makes me feel safe and even Adam in his own quiet manner.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She pulls away and that’s when I see the tear tracks on her cheeks.

  “I think it hit so hard because you made me feel so safe and then right in front of the other women she grabbed me. I really didn’t expect it. Why do people do that?”

  She shrugs and then says, “You’re a very handsome man, Jack. Some people are forward and they think they can just take whatever they want, that they don’t have to work for it. Beverly is one of those people. She’s tried with almost every man here and if Theo and Kevin weren’t gay, she’d try with them too.”

  “They’re gay?”

  She nods and then explains, “Yeah, they’re a couple. The people around here think I don’t see them sneaking around, but I do. Nothing happens on this plantation without me knowing.”

  I clear my throat and then ask, “So you know about Christopher and Maddie?”

  “Yeah, I know. Christopher is good for Maddie. He makes her feel safe.”

  “So they’re a couple because he makes her feel safe?” I’m trying to figure out what makes them different from all the other people I’ve seen.

  “Yes. He’s very protective of her.”

  “Okay,” I say, thinking the information over. I turn to River and ask, “You’re protective of me and I feel safe with you, does that make us a couple?”

  She starts to laugh. It’s not her normal spontaneous laughter, but more like a nervous chuckle. “No, Jack. We’re not a couple, we’re friends. Friends also look out for each other.”