by C. A. Harms
Suddenly a louder snort replaced the snore, followed by what sounded like a mumble though I couldn’t make out the words. Palmer’s body shifted around as she fought against the seatbelt she wore. She’d tug and twist, only to flop back and then try it all over again. It was like watching some fucked up game of tug of war.
I glanced over at her and found her eyes were now open as she blinked a few times.
“Where are we?”
“About two hours outside of Morehead,” I replied, staring ahead through the darkness. “But for a bit there, it sounded as though I was back home, tugging through the back fields of ol’ Murphy’s farm.” I tried to hide my smile, looking toward the driver’s window and away from her.
“What?” she finally asked, and I could almost picture the wrinkled confusion creasing her forehead.
“There was a chorus of rooting pigs filling the night air only moments ago.”
Palmer said nothing, and I chanced a glance at her to see her nose crinkled and her brows furrowed. “I think you should let me drive.”
“Why?”
“Because you are talking in riddles, and I’m thinking that maybe all that shit you’ve been pumping into your veins has had some lasting effects.”
“Don’t get all wound up because I called you out.” I bit the inside of my lip when she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me. “It’s not my fault that when you snore you sound like a pack of pigs rooting in the feed bucket.”
“I do not snore.”
There was no longer any hope for me holding back my laughter. “You’re right, darlin’, you don’t snore.” She seemed satisfied with my reply before I went and made things worse. “You rattle the fucking windows.”
Gone was the sleepy-eyed beauty and in its place—the beast. Damn, I had no idea something so small could be so fierce.
“Now I remember why you annoy me so much.” She remained in her seat, her arms crossed tightly over her chest and her eyes narrowed.
“Because I’m honest?” I offered a shrug, pressed the gas a little harder, and found satisfaction in the way her body shifted at my increased speed and bounced against the back of her seat.
Chapter Seventeen
Palmer
Pretending to be annoyed with Corbin was harder and harder with each mile, especially when I’d hear him mumbling along to the music that played on the radio, or when his fingers drummed against the steering wheel to the beat. It was refreshing to see this side of him, the relaxed, peaceful side. I knew already it would be short-lived and that for now I was simply serving as a distraction. I knew from experience that the feelings of guilt and devastation would return and most likely with a vengeance. When things were quiet was when they’d haunted me the most. Healing took time, and I honestly believed that Corbin had yet to face the loss of his friend. He’d been running from it, clouding it with alcohol and other things. But he wouldn’t be able to run from it forever.
One day he’d have to face those demons head-on and decide if he would win or fold. I prayed that it was the former. I’d tell anyone who asked that I was doing this all for Clayton and their parents. I would stand behind the idea that it killed me to see the pain on their faces. But to me I could admit it was more…but only to me.
“Is it me or did this trip take twice as long as the first time?”
Corbin glanced at me but only a second before looking back toward the road. “Last time I filled the trip with hours of entertainment…”
“Or annoyance,” I added with humor and he chose to ignore it as he continued.
“This time either I slept, or you snored.”
“Again, I do not snore.” I definitely snored. In fact, on more than one occasion, Ethan got scared when I was in a deep sleep and really made a rumble. Em had woken me up a time or two by plugging my nose while I tried to sleep on the couch.
“It’s not polite to argue with a lady so I will let you believe your lies.”
Rolling my eyes, I stretched out my legs just as the sign with Morehead written in big bold letters appeared. I remembered instantly what Corbin had said the last time we rolled past that same sign.
More head, get it?
Smiling to myself I turned my face toward the window as I spent a few seconds lost in the perverted haze of Corbin’s ways. He was and is annoying, but in the cutest way. Again, that was only for me to know, there was no need to feed his ego.
“Do my parents know we’re coming?” Corbin asked, breaking me out of my reminiscing haze. “I’m just not sure I’m up for another fallout with my dad.” I was reminded of the funeral, the aftermath, and the lost look in his father’s and mother’s eyes when they realized the man they loved was forever changed.
“Clayton called them,” I replied and saw his shoulders sag in defeat almost instantly. “But he assured me that your dad and uncle have a tent and everything we need set up already in the open clearing at the top of the hill.”
“So we’re really camping out?” I nodded, and that sly smile returned to his lips. “What are you grinning about?”
“Just never pegged you for a wilderness girl.”
“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Corbin.” I challenged him with an arch of the brow and fully expected him to fire back with a perverted comment about how he did know me, at least in a certain sense. But he surprised me when he simply nodded and continued on toward his parents’ home.
As we pulled up the driveway and the gorgeous house came into view, I felt my heart pound. It was a beautiful cabin-feel home with the most amazing wrap-around deck. The porch light was on and one light inside where I knew the living room was.
After he placed the car in park, he sat there staring ahead, the car still running.
“There’s supposed to be a bag by the front door,” I said through the silence. “Flashlights, snacks, and drinks. The rest should already be up at the tent.” Corbin nodded but still said nothing and showed no signs of movement. “Are you okay?”
“I think we both know the answer to that already.” My heart broke just a little when I noticed the glossy shimmer in his eyes. From the side I could visibly see how his chest rose and fell as if he was doing his best to hang on. “He’ll never have this feeling again.”
“What feeling? Who?”
“Brent.” Again, another clutch of my heart. “That feeling you get when you go home again.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t control it. I unbuckled and crawled over the console, settling in his lap. By the look on his face, he also seemed surprised. “I didn’t know him, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want you blaming yourself every second of every day for something you couldn’t control.”
I gripped his face when he attempted to turn away.
“We all live our lives with an element of risk every day. We wake up and don’t know what might happen, what could happen. He took a chance the second he climbed on that bike and so did you. I believe without a doubt there is a reason why you’re still here. Don’t spend the time you have wasting away, spend it honoring him.” A knot formed in my throat, but I pushed past it. “You hide behind this cocky, sneaky exterior. You pretend that nothing bothers you, but behind all that there is a guy with a huge heart.”
“And you know this how?”
“Because I’m smart.” I smiled, and he allowed his eyes to close for a second before opening them once more. “And because I’ve witnessed the love and devotion you have to not only your brother but to every guy that lives with you in that big crazy zoo you all call a house.”
“Nope, not a house. It is most definitely a zoo.”
“Okay.” I gently glided my finger over his jaw and felt my pulse quicken. Stubble prickled my fingertip, and Corbin’s strong jawline that I’d instantly found sexy flexed beneath my finger. “I’ve also seen how sweet you are to Ethan and how amazing you are with your mother. You are a good guy who, at the moment, is just lost.”
“I just don’t know
how to make it stop,” he confessed, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard to fight his emotions. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about we start here and now?” I might be in above my head, but I didn’t care. I wanted to heal him. Maybe in the process I would be healing a part of me too. A part that besides Emelie and Ethan never allowed anyone to be close. “I told you that this was all up to you. We can climb that hill and get inside that tent and say not a word to one another. We can spend days just existing without actually talking about anything that’s on your mind. Or we can just take one moment at a time and see where it takes us. This was never about locking you up and forcing you to face your demons. It was about getting you away from the things that were clouding your heart.”
“Things, or people?”
I tried to pull away from him, knowing he’d already caught my falter. Yes, I wanted him away from that bimbo who was helping him ignore the harsh realities of his life. I wanted to get him far away from the girl who in my eyes didn’t deserve a guy like Corbin. She was alienating him, feeding his habit, and keeping him just where she wanted him.
Corbin held onto my waist and left me with no other choice but to look at him. “Admit it.”
“Admit what?”
“You said that we should start now, here. So this is me asking you to admit that the idea of me with Candy or any other girl besides you bothers you.” I started to shake my head and he arched his brow in a challenging manner. “Before you answer, you should remember that your response will set the precedent for this little getaway. If you want me to face the things that are haunting me, then you should face a few things of your own.”
“You are impossible,” I huffed.
When he trailed his tongue along his lower lip, the argument that remained on the tip of my tongue faded fast. “Tell me right now that what happened between us was nothing and I’ll ignore the fact that I already know different.”
My mind and the response I wanted to give him was like a manic yo-yo bouncing around in my head.
“Tell me.”
Suddenly there was a tap on the door glass behind me, and part of me was embarrassed to know that we’d been caught in our current position. Another part, the bigger of the two, was thankful because I’d been saved from committing what I believed would have been the worst of confessions. For now, I’d continue to hold onto the image of being completely unaffected by Corbin Powell.
Chapter Eighteen
Corbin
I stood at the side of Palmer’s car, holding onto my mother tightly and accepting the comfort she provided. Call me a pussy but being a momma’s boy was okay with me. Clayton and I never once found a problem with fawning over or being fawned over by Ma. She was our comfort, our safe place. The problem was as raw as I was, it made it next to impossible to hold back my emotions and I buried my face against her hair.
“I won’t lie, Corbin Eugene,” she whispered, hugging me tightly, almost like she thought I was going to disappear. “I love that girl dearly for bringing you home.” I smiled. “Even if you plan on hiding out in the woods for days, knowing you’re here helps because seeing you in the state you were in nearly destroyed me, sweet boy. You and your brother are my babies, you always will be, and when you hurt, I hurt.”
“I know.” I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. My chest shook as I choked back my sobs.
How long we remained in that position I haven’t a clue, but when she pulled back, she offered a kiss to my cheek. I half expected her to say something more, but instead she sidestepped me and moved toward Palmer. Without a word she grabbed Palmer around her shoulders and pulled her body flush against hers. Palmer let out a little yelp that made me chuckle, then a hmph when my mother squeezed her tight, real tight.
I heard something about “my boy” fall from my mother’s lips and a nod from Palmer just before they stepped apart. I watched as my mother turned her back to us both and began walking toward the stairs that led up to the front door. Not once did she look back at us; she just opened the door and stepped inside, the light in the living room turning black shortly after.
“She is amazing.” I shifted on my feet, looking down at the ground, knowing fully that my face still held evidence of the earlier breakdown as I tried to hide the tears in my mother’s hair. “I’ve never met a person before with a heart as big as hers.”
“What did she say to you?” I asked, finally looking up to meet Palmer’s gaze. “When she whispered to you as she offered a hug.”
Palmer took a step toward me, holding her hand out and linking her fingers with mine. “She thanked me for bringing you home.” She tugged and I moved toward her. “She also said…” Palmer paused, and I knew she was debating whether she should continue.
I hooked her waist with our joined hands, pinning them to the small of her back. When her chest collided with mine, I took a moment to enjoy the closeness.
“I am fully aware of the fact that you escaped my earlier questions.” A smile spread across her lips. “I’ll let that go for now, but tell me what she said to you.”
“She reminded me of the last time we were here.” I expected her to back away, or attempt to, but instead she moved her free hand up my chest and paused over my heart with her outstretched hand. “She said that she told me her boy would eventually wear me down.”
She looked up at me through her long lashes and I swear I felt my heart pound hard against my breast bone. Fuck, the ache was intense. I remembered that conversation, the one where my ma insisted that Palmer would succumb to me in the end, just as she had my father.
“And the answer to your question is yes,” Palmer added, and for a moment I was lost, then it clicked. “It did mean something, and it still means something.”
It was an answer I’d already known, yet it felt damn good to hear her say the words.
***
“Did you hear that?” Palmer paused, her body frozen in fear and she scanned over the trees surrounding us with the two flashlights she held. She had one in each hand, gripping them so tightly I was sure her hands had to be white from the pressure. “Corbin?” It was a desperate whisper and I snuck up close behind her, leaning in and hovering my lips near her ear.
“Squirrels.” Her body jerked in reaction to my words, and I jumped back to keep from being clocked by her now flailing arms.
“Damn it.” She still whispered, and she still sounded terrified. “Now they know we’re here.”
“They?”
She waved her hand out before her and widened her eyes, as if that reaction alone answered my question.
“P, what the hell were you thinking when you decided that camping was the best option for us? You’re two seconds away from giving yourself a stroke, and we haven’t even reached the tent yet. You do know that we’re gonna hear critters moving about all night.” Her brows shot upward and again I chuckled. “Come on crazy, let’s get you up this hill before I have to carry you back down.”
I grabbed her hand and began tugging her up the remaining incline. She hurried after me, her body so close to mine it was hard to take a step without kicking her in the shins or tripping because she was stepping on the backs of my heels.
As the clearing broke, there in the space we’d always camped before was the large tent. They’d gone for the one we used as a family and not the small worn-out one that barely fit Clayton and I comfortably.
Palmer didn’t take another second before she took off in search of the entrance. It was facing the ledge, and I understood it was to ensure we’d see the sunrise clearly.
The sound of her hands running over the vinyl and the jingle of zippers felt as though it echoed over the hilltop. “Are you a little frantic, darlin’?”
“I’ll be fine,” she replied with a hmph, “once I get this thing open and I am safely tucked inside until morning.”
It felt great to smile and laugh. Palmer may not have had a clue, but what she was doing for me, though I fought it at first, may have been the bes
t fucking thing. She dragged me away from everything that reminded of Brent. That was why it was so hard to go back to the fraternity. She gave me time to breathe, time to get sober, which I’ll admit I hadn’t been much of since the day I left the hospital after learning Brent hadn’t made it.
Seeing Palmer frustrated and all worked up over the idea that something may jump out of the trees and eat her was funny as shit. She’d missed the zipper four times already in her hurry to seek shelter. I’d spent so many nights up here, I knew we were good, but it didn’t seem that anything would ease her mind at this point.
“Holy hell, how do you get inside this thing?” I covered my mouth to hide my chuckle as I stepped up behind her and reached around. When her body leaned back into mine, I wasn’t even sure she was conscious of her movements, with her need to pretend she and I were so wrong for each other, but her body told me all I needed to know.
“The zipper is right here.” I placed one hand on the fold that covered the entrance and rested my other hand on her hip. She arched her neck, and I allowed my lips to graze over her earlobe while I moved in to lower the zipper.
I parted the gap, and when she didn’t hurry inside, I enjoyed the few passing seconds when she remained so close to me. The sweet scent of her perfume circled around as the cool night air blew from over the ledge, causing her hair to move slightly.
“Thank you for this,” I whispered. “I know being here, up in the woods, surrounded by nothing but dirt and trees isn’t your idea of a good time. But you did it anyway, you did it for me.”