Breaking the Limits

by Nichole, Stephanie

  I called Kenndrix after he left and I’d showered, “Good morning sunshine.”

  I laughed, “Well you seem to be in a really good mood this morning.”

  “Of course, I am. This semester is almost over and Jaxx just told me about this interview he went to on Thursday,” Kenndrix explains.

  “Oh yeah? What kind of interview?”

  Kenndrix sighs, “Something for a job. The way he explained it basically to be a motorcycle stunt man for a company. He’d get all kinds of jobs in movies and television but he’d also be going all over the place, like wherever the job is filming but the money would insanely good.”

  “Wow that’s great! Tell him I said congratulations. We should all get together to celebrate, Pierce and Rocky too.”

  She laughs on the other end of the line, “You’re not upset with Pierce?”

  I shake my head then remember she can’t see me. “No, I’m not. I don’t think he was doing anything to cause trouble and besides Ace and I worked it out and were actually better than ever.”

  “Oh good! I hate when you two fight.”

  I laugh, “Me too. So anyways I actually called to tell you good news too. I got the lingerie campaign for Wicked Little Things. I just found out this morning.”

  Kenndrix squeals into the phone and it sounds like she might be jumping up and down. “Yay! I’m so happy for you Kyn!” I give her a moment to calm down then she asks, “Does Ace know?”

  “Yeah we went out to breakfast to celebrate.”

  “And he’s okay with it?” Kenndrix asks.

  I sigh, “Honestly, he’s probably not but he knows it’s what I want to do and he’s trying to be supportive and accepting of that.”

  “Plus, he’s probably a little happy that it wasn’t for the Royal Eternity video.”

  I mumble “Yeah.” I usually tell Kenndrix everything but since I’m not going to take the music video job I don’t see any sense in telling her. That would just be something she’d have to worry about messing up on. “Anyways I just wanted to talk to you and tell you the good news.”

  After that we said good bye and I got ready for my shift at work. I had to meet with Mr. Sobolak tomorrow in his office to get my schedule for the job. I was so excited I felt like maybe this was going to be the break I needed.

  Chapter 18

  Ace

  It had been a long day of jumping back and forth between Inkredible and the body shop. After I closed up Inkredible I headed back over to help Bowie with Ms. Bader’s car. She was a single mother who worked two jobs to make ends meet. Bowie always worked on her car after hours so he wouldn’t get paid for it and Axell always “charged” her the parts at cost but really, she just had an ongoing tab with us. She needed her car as soon as possible so I had texted Kynlee and told her I’d be home late. Bowie could use the help, maybe between the two of us we could finish it up tonight so she could have it in the morning.

  As I was walking up to the shop I can hear the sounds of 80’s rock bands coming from inside. All of us had been born and raised on 80’s rock music, we were all named after them as well but I didn’t hold the same love for the era of music as my brothers. I listened to it but I liked the current rock music better. Making my way inside I realize how heavy everything felt.

  I hadn’t let my mind think about what Kynlee had mumbled before she had fell asleep last night but as soon as I had left her and headed to work those words burned my brain. Her words mixed with Connor’s questions drug my mood down all day. When I entered the shop, Bowie looked up over the hood of Ms. Bader’s car. “Hey! Glad you made it. This car is worse than before.”

  I shook my head as I grabbed a pair coveralls “How is that possible?”

  Bowie shrugs and continues to work. I start working beside him, we continue in silence for about an hour. “So, what’s bugging you?” Bowie asks. I raise my eyebrows in question at him. “Oh, come on! Something is on that artistic mind of yours.”

  I stand up and wipe my hands off on a rag then turn around a face Bowie. Bowie is about an inch shorter than me but he has a lot more muscle than me. His biceps are covered in tattoos but we both have the same baby blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. Bowie can read people though. You can never bullshit him because he just knows. “Kynlee said something last night but I’m not even sure she knows she said it. It was right before she fell asleep.”

  “Okay, what’d she say?” Bowie asks with a skeptical look on his face.

  I take a deep breath and mumble, “I love you.”

  Bowie’s eyes a light up with amusement when I look back up, “what’s so damn funny?”

  “You seem shocked,” Bowie says, and apparently my expression tells him more than I can. “Wait, you are shocked,” Bowie’s eyes change from knowing to surprise. “But why?”

  “Because we don’t say that!” I say in an outburst.

  He stands there in silence for a moment. “Like ever?” Bowie asks sounding more surprised than he had at first. I shake my head. “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “No! Why would I be kidding you?”

  He shakes his head before running his hand over his chin. “I just figured that as long as you two have been together that you two would have already hit this milestone.”

  I shake my head, “We don’t say it.”

  Bowie holds up his hands in surrender. “I get that. I was just assuming that you guys did…at least to each other.”

  I just shake my head and turn to leave. “I need a break,” I say over my shoulder just as I open the door. I head straight for my car and rummage until I find the pack of cigarettes. I’m sitting off to the side at the worn picnic table when Bowie comes to join me.

  We sit quietly for a moment before he clears his throat. “Look, I’m like the last person in the world who should give anyone relationship advice but I am your big brother so I’m going to try. Why haven’t you told her how you feel?”

  “Because, I don’t know how I feel,” I answer sounding exasperated.

  “That’s bullshit Ace and you know it. You love her. She loves you and no matter how long you wait to say that it won’t change that fact.” I glare at him before he continues. “Guess what? If you ever lose her it’s still going to rip your heart out and shred your soul rather you admit or not. You can’t fight love. You can try but you won’t win. It’s usually the things we don’t say that haunt us so my advice…admit it to your damn self and tell her how you feel,” Bowie tells me before he gets up and starts to make his way back towards the shop.

  Bowie is about half way to the shop when I stand up from the table and holler, “What good did it do for you to tell Hollis?”

  Even from my spot from the table I can see the flash of pain that crosses his face. “At least I know she knew. At least I didn’t lie to myself. I can hold on to the hope that on nights when she was alone that she knew that. I can sleep better at night knowing that much.” The frustration builds within me and the minute the shop door shuts I turn around and kick the table. Everyone makes love seem like it’s some great idea but it’s not. It messes you up. Who the hell wants to look the way Bowie just did when I mentioned Hollis?

  I scrub at my face with my hands then stalk off toward my car. I need to be alone for a while.

  ****

  Kynlee

  Ace had been acting a little funny since our fight the other night. It wasn’t all the time but every now and then he’d seem distant or lost in his own head. I wasn’t sure what was causing it and I didn’t want to bring it up if it was something he’d work through himself but it bothered me that I couldn’t help him with whatever issue he was having.

  Today, I had to put all the thoughts of Ace to the back of my mind because I had to meet with the designers of Wicked Little Things for a fitting then head over to Mr. Sobolak’s office to let him know I wouldn’t be taking the music video job. I dreaded that conversation. That one conversation could cost me my agent and possibly
my career, but the stress that Enzo put on my life would only make things worse. Plus, it didn’t help that I had made the mistake of kissing him back at the audition.

  No matter how many times I had told Enzo in the past when we had worked together that I wasn’t interested in him as more than a friend, he always found a way to try and make it more. Getting caught up that day at the audition had only given him false hope.

  The fitting with Wicked Little Things went really well. I loved the designers and seamstress. They gushed about how I was perfect for the line and how no one else could do it justice. I left the fitting with three new friends and my confidence on an all-time high. I sent Ace a quick miss you text since I was feeling so good.

  As I pull into the parking garage for Mr. Sobolak’s office I’m thankful for the extra boost of confidence. I need it. With every step I take my courage to tell him, I‘m not taking the music video job is wavering. I don’t want to lose my agent but I also really don’t want to do this music video. I need Mr. Sobolak to understand. If I tell him and he releases me then it will be so many steps back in my career.

  I haven’t booked any jobs without an agent and granted Mr. Sobolak isn’t the best agent out there, he has been the only one to show any interest in me. I’d jumped at the opportunity to just say that I had an agent even if it was with him. Since then I had booked a few jobs here and there and I didn’t doubt that Mr. Sobolak was right. If I’d bleach my hair and enlarge my breast some more, I’d get more jobs. However, I had made this promise to myself before coming to L.A. that I wasn’t going to lose who I was. No matter how badly I wanted this career I wouldn’t let the career change me. My dark hair was me, I had never wanted to be blonde and it certainly wouldn’t suit me.

  Megan, Mr. Sobolak’s receptionist greeted me as I entered. Once I was seated she offered me something to drink but I declined. I feared that with the nerves in my stomach and liquid of any form would only make me nauseated. The ten minutes I sat in the waiting room seemed like much longer. Finally, Megan told me I could go in.

  As I stood up I straightened out my baby pink dress, plastered on that smile and strutted like I had everything under control. I had faked my confidence for so long that sometimes even I believed it. When I entered Mr. Sobolak turned around in his chair to face me, throwing his hands into the air, “There’s my prized model, Kynlee.”

  Chapter 19

  Kynlee

  As I sat in the parking lot of the set where the music video would be filmed, I let myself throw the pity-party I was wanting. My emotions were a wreck. I was so torn from all of this. I replayed the conversation I’d had with Mr. Sobolak.

  “There’s my prized model, Kynlee.”

  That light in his eyes made me feel guilty about the conversation I was here to have. “Good morning Mr. Sobolak.”

  The forty-something-year-old man with thinning strawberry blonde hair and an expanding waist line motioned towards the chairs seated in front of his oak desk. “Please have a seat. I just have to finish this up then we’ll chat.”

  I take a seat and try to calm my screaming nerves. Mr. Sobolak finishes up with his phone call the removes his ear piece. He turns to face me; his dark brown eyes always look like he’s smiling. “So, what brings you in today?”

  Taking a deep breath, I meet his eyes. “I just met with the designers of Wicked Little Things. It’s going to be a great pairing I think. Their line is fun, unique and everything a girl my age wants. I’m very excited to work with them. I just wanted to start by thanking you for getting me a go see with them.”

  His face beams with delight. “Of course! It was my pleasure and it also wasn’t without some selfishness on my side,” he says with a big laugh. Once he calms down he says, “If you’re this excited for the lingerie line I bet you’ll be jumping out of your seat tomorrow when the video starts filming.”

  It was now or never. “Well that’s actually the other reason I wanted to come here and speak with you today.” His eyebrows raise in question and I just spit it out before I lose my courage. “While I appreciate the opportunity of the music video. I just don’t feel like it’s going to be a good fit for me so I’d like to pass on the job.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m sorry Mr. Sobolak. I know you’ve worked really hard to get my career going, but I’m just uncomfortable with the video,” I explain.

  He takes a huff of breath. “Kynlee you do understand the purpose of my job, right?” I just nod feeling my mouth go dry. “Okay, then you understand that it’s my job to get you gigs, whatever they may be and by doing so that is how I make my living.”

  “I understand that and like I said I am sorry,” I apologize quietly.

  Mr. Sobolak stands up, walks around the desk and leans back against his desk while crossing his arms. “And I’m sorry Kynlee but I found you two jobs that are the type of things you are looking for out of your career, but now you are sitting here telling me that you can’t do a job. That means that I’m not making money either. As much as I like you Kynlee, I like money more.”

  I take a deep breath “I understand but…”

  Mr. Sobolak raises a hand to stop me. “I’m going to put this as nicely as possible. You will do both jobs Kynlee.”

  “And if I don’t?” I ask meekly.

  He shakes his head for a moment. “Then I’m afraid I will no longer be able to be your agent. If you don’t show up tomorrow then I will represent you through your contract with Wicked Little Things but I’m afraid that’ll be it,” he tells me, then turns back around toward his desk, dismissing me.

  I get up on shaky legs and move toward the door. My throat feels like I tried to eat cotton and my heart is about to beat out of my chest. My whole career was on the line. Not that I had much of a career yet but I felt like I was finally getting my feet underneath me.

  The beach is mostly empty since it’s mid-day on a weekday. This beach doesn’t get full until after normal working hours. There are a few stragglers but for the most part I have the place to myself. I watch as a younger looking boy with shoulder length blonde hair surfs the waves. Tomorrow this place will look totally different. It will be packed with a filming crew, Royal Eternity, and I’m sure some of their screaming fans.

  Tomorrow they’ll start shooting the video and this is the place it will kick off. I’m expected to be here or else. I just can’t wrap my hand around it. As much as I want to be a model I’m not sure it’s worth all of this anymore. If the past year has proven anything to me it’s that maybe this isn’t the career for me. I’ve only managed to get a handful of jobs, none of them worthy of any recognition really. These two jobs can be the game changers I need but then again what if they aren’t? I did an ad campaign a few months ago that everyone was sure would be the big break and it wasn’t. Was risking my relationship with Ace worth a possible break in my career? Was shooting this video and stepping so far outside of my comfort zone that I may never find it again worth it?

  I get out of the car and walk toward the railing that separates the parking lot from the sand. I lean over it while I let the salty breeze fill my senses. The only thing I know for sure is that I have less than twenty-four hours to try and fix this. Only problem is there is only one way I can think to try and fix it.

  Reaching into my pocket I pull out my cell phone and scroll through the contacts. I’m not sure he even still has the same number but I’m crossing my fingers he does. It rings four times before a groggy voice comes over the line with a mumbled “Hello.”

  “I need you to meet me at the beach,” I say flatly.

  He clears his throat. “Which beach?”

  “Don’t play dumb Enzo, you know which beach,” I tell him before hanging up. My hands re shaking because this could fix everything or make it ten times worse.

  ****

  Almost an hour later Enzo’s sleek BMW pulls into the parking lot. He gets out slowly and it’s no surprise that he’s dressed in his signature
head to toe black. Black ripped up skinny jeans, black t-shirt and black sneakers, his black shades hide his eyes but I’m sure he’s taken the time to put his eyeliner on. As he approaches he says, “Well, well, well Kynlee Adams you’re the last booty call I expected.”

  I glare at him. “This isn’t a booty call Enzo! You got me into one hell of a mess. A mess I told you I didn’t want and you’re the only who can get me out of it. Believe me if I could have called anyone else to help me I would have.”

  He leans back against the railing and puts in his hands in his pockets. “You know you used to be nice to me. You used to be my friend.”

  Shaking my head, “And you used to be one of mine but after the stunt you pulled at the audition I have my doubts.”

  “What stunt?”

  I growl in frustration. “Enzo! The kiss…that stunt! You know I’m with Ace. You’ve known that and I’ve tried so damn hard to be your friend but you always try to make it more. There isn’t more for us and I’m not sure there’s even friendship for us now.”

  I turn away and face the ocean because the sting in my eyes. Enzo grabs my elbow and turns me to face him again. “How can you say that?”

  I sigh heavily. “A friend wouldn’t have given me the job I specifically asked not to have. You did it anyways for your own benefit, not mine. You didn’t listen to me and listening is a big part of friendship.”

  He runs a hand through his slicked back black hair. “I was trying to help my friend out Kynlee. I thought you came here to make a name for yourself, to be a big-time model and to soak up the attention. I gave you what you wanted on a silver platter. When I first got signed I promised myself that I’d help every friend that I could. The first time I heard the pitch for the video I knew you’d be perfect for it and I wanted to help you.”

  “Maybe, you mean that to some extent, but you need an actress not a model. You need someone who can kiss you and roll around in the sheets and act like she’s in love with you. I’m no actress, Enzo. You don’t need me. I need you to call and replace me,” I tell him.