She saw him and her smile widened, her eyes darkened. She put just one more inch between herself and Jackson as if she knew why he was there.
As if she was ready for whatever he had in mind.
Screw distance. It was a lie, anyway. Since the wedding reception, Vanessa had never been more than a thought away from him. Pretending differently, for both of them, was getting them nowhere fast. Mat blew out a breath and gave himself a mental shake. He should tell her to find another ride home. She didn’t need him as chauffeur.
Instead, he tapped Jackson on the shoulder and pulled Vanessa into his arms where she melted against him. The band switched to a faster tune but Mat didn’t care. He and Vanessa swayed to the music, no twirls, no stomping. The scent of vanilla tickled his nose. Her head rested against his shoulder and her hand felt small in his.
Mat pulled her a little closer and felt her sigh against him.
Her body was soft where his was hard. Her clothes silky where his were rough. Why had he never realized how soft she was? His hand rested at the small of her back, the thin layer of silk heating against his palm. Delicate.
The song seemed to last forever and it felt too short at the same time. Other couples brushed past them, the floor rumbled at one point, but all Mat could feel, all he could see, was Vanessa. He didn’t want to leave early. He didn’t want to have another talk about how they wouldn’t revisit the past.
Damn, but he still wanted her. He wanted to talk with her. Laugh with her. Make her smile. He wanted to make love with her and this time he wouldn’t force himself to leave in the pre-dawn hours on the pretense of work. This time he’d stay and maybe they’d make love again until noon.
He didn’t want this night to end.
• • •
Vanessa watched Mat from the corner of her eye. They were nearly to the turn-off for the Double Diamond and neither had said a word. Just like last time Mat looked at her in that way and she was putty in his hands. She’d followed him out of the bar and to the car without a single question.
Without saying good-bye, see ya later, so long to Kathleen or Jackson. She could just imagine what her sister was thinking.
She had no idea why that mattered, but Vanessa didn’t want Kathleen to think badly of her. No, it wasn’t that. She didn’t want Kathleen to know about Mat. She wanted Mat to be hers and hers alone for a little while.
Well, she was getting part of that wish. For the next few hours Mat would be hers. No interruptions. One little memory, was it too much to ask?
The truck bumped along the graveled track. Mat bypassed the main house, continuing around the barn and down another lane to the foreman’s cabin. The log home was dark, a single yellow bulb beckoning from the front door. Mat parked the truck but didn’t open his door.
He stared at the house for a long moment, as if he couldn’t decide what to do next. Who wouldn’t have second thoughts about a second one-night-stand with a recently divorced pain in the neck?
She had no second thoughts. This was what she wanted. What she wished for on the first star of the night just a few hours before. One more night with Mat. One more memory to weave into a love story for her child.
“I’m not under any illusions, Mat.” Her voice was loud in the cab. “I don’t want anything from you. I know this isn’t leading anywhere. I know we both said we wouldn’t go down this road again.”
His voice was rough. “I don’t bring girls back here. Not ever.”
So that was what this was about. Vanessa swallowed. “It’s just chemistry.”
He chuckled and finally looked at her, his eyes as dark as the richest chocolate she’d ever seen. “Chemistry. That’s one way to describe it.”
“I don’t need this to be anything more than what it is: two people enjoying a night together.”
“Well, aren’t you the sophisticated city girl again.”
“It’s all I was born to be.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t sell yourself short.”
She swallowed. “We both said we wouldn’t do this again.”
“I know. But I can’t stop wanting you.” The words were raw, the impact echoing around the truck cab for a long moment.
“Me, either. Mat, I know I shouldn’t want you, but I do.” He nodded. “We’ll probably both regret it in the morning.”
“No. We’ll deal with it.” He looked at her for a long moment, his thumb caressing the back of her hand. “Once we’re out of my truck there’s no turning back.”
She reached across the cab and rested her hand against his stubbled cheek. “Mat. I know.”
He was around the cab, opening her door before she could say more. Handing her down onto the ground and holding her elbow as the soft earth sucked at her skinny heels. Their footsteps echoed against the porch floor and inside a tiny lamp illuminated a leather couch and chair.
Stairs hugged the wall, leading to the second floor, the living/dining area to the left. Mat’s cowboy boots sat beside the front door, a stack of ranch magazines littered the low coffee table. No flowers. No decorative pillows.
A man’s home.
Mat took her hand and led her up the stairs. A wall of windows opened his bedroom to the Texas night, starlight shining over every surface. The four-poster bed looked sumptuous under the thick brown comforter, a leather belt hung over the knob on the closet door. A comb fought with a lamp, lip balm, more magazines and sunscreen on his dresser top. This was where Mat lived.
She felt honored to have been invited.
And she really wanted to feel that comforter against her back. To have Mat over her one more, last, time.
Vanessa slipped out of her heels and reached behind her. The zipper of her dress reached halfway up her back and she pulled it down, the rasp sounding loud in the room. She heard Mat’s intake of breath and smiled. Heard another zipper — his — and the smile grew.
Her fingers slipped under the spaghetti strap of her dress but Mat’s hand stopped her. Turned her around to look at him. He tucked his finger under the strap and pulled until it slipped over her shoulder and down her arm. He repeated the action and the dress slipped off her body, pooling at her feet.
Her breasts were heavy, begging for a touch from this man she really, truly, should not want. Every sensible voice in her head screamed at her to run. To leave Mat, the ranch, and Texas as far in the past as she could.
She locked those sensible voices into a box and shoved it into a corner of her mind. Running from the past was the last thing she needed. Mat was the first.
He stared at her, traced a finger over her jaw and down her neck. Tickled along her collarbone. He’d tossed his shirt and boots on the floor at some point but his jeans still rode low on his hips. Vanessa reached out, mimicking him. Her fingers followed the line of his abdomen down, down, down until her skin met thick denim.
Raising her eyes to his she pushed down, gently. Mat smiled. And then his mouth was against hers, his hands everywhere. On her shoulders, pressing her against the smooth comforter. Under the small of her back as he lifted her onto the bed. Teasing her breasts until she couldn’t take a steady breath. Vanessa was left to hold on to Mat for balance — his shoulders strong and sinewy from hours of labor on the ranch, his back and abs rippling with muscles that quivered when she touched.
He tasted like beer, a taste she’d never liked until this night as he nibbled his way over her mouth and across her jaw to find a sensitive spot just below her ear. He played with that area, nipping with his teeth, soothing with his tongue, for what felt like hours as Vanessa learned the feel of every muscle on his torso.
His hands slipped down her sides, his thumbs catching the lace at her hips and pulling the fabric down, down as he kissed his way over her tummy and down her legs to her ankles. Vanessa bunched her hands in the cool, brown fabric as Mat began working his
way back up her legs. He paused at the back of her knee, again at her hip, his fingers flirting with her core but never fully touching her.
Vanessa wanted to scream. She wanted so much more than he was giving her. She wanted everything and she was going to take it.
Reaching around him, she pushed his jeans over his hips, surprised to find nothing between denim and skin. Surprised and turned on a little bit more. She couldn’t push far enough, not with his body pressing hers into the soft mattress.
“Mat, a little help.”
Mat rose up on his elbows, looking into her eyes for a long moment as his finger drew circles over her thigh. Closer. Closer. Closer to her center but still not touching.
“Mat,” his name a sigh on her indrawn breath. “Please.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re doing just fine.”
“Don’t tease me. I want … ”
“You want?”
His index finger flirted a little closer to her center.
“More. I want more.” He grinned. Vanessa tried to put steel in her voice. “And your Wranglers are in the way of more.” She failed. Miserably. Instead of in charge, she sounded needy, wanting. Which was exactly what she was at this moment. Mat didn’t need to know that, though.
The muscles in her thigh quivered as he continued the sensual onslaught and she drew in a shallow breath. She couldn’t look away from him. His finger tickled over her hipbone and her stomach joined the quivering muscles. Mat dipped his tongue into her belly button, swirled around and then continued its trek up, up, up until it closed over her nipple. His tongue flicked and kneaded her nipple until it puckered, as hard as a stone.
He withdrew his mouth and Vanessa barely held in the whimper.
“You’re the one who mentioned more,” he said, laughter filling his voice as he left her alone in the bed long enough to shuck his jeans and draw on a condom. Then he was back, his hands circling every erogenous zone in her body like a lasso circles a calf.
She couldn’t think, could only hold on as he doubled his efforts at sensual torture. His mouth closed over her nipple once more and then, a second later, his fingers delved into her wet heat.
It was more than Vanessa could have imagined. She forgot to breathe, could only feel as he pushed inside her only to pull out once again. His thumb found the sensitive bud and flicked against it, in rhythm with his mouth over her breast, sending Vanessa over. The orgasm rocked over her, wave after wave of pleasure as she dug her hands into Mat’s shoulders.
But he didn’t stop. A moment later, Mat took her mouth with his, his heady taste starting her journey all over again. He pushed against her entrance, hard and ready, and then he was inside her, filling her. Making her want even more.
Mat raised his head once more, looking deeply into her eyes, not saying a word as he pulled out and then plunged back inside. The deep brown of his eyes, the wanting she saw there, captivated her and she couldn’t look away. Slowly, oh so slowly, he pulled out once more, pausing for a moment at her entrance before slowly sliding back into her depths.
The rhythm caught and held them both, sped a little, and then they were racing toward the starlight, sliding into the black Texas night.
Together.
Chapter Six
Mat stretched, coming slowly awake as brilliant morning sunlight filled his bedroom. His arm hung over one side of the bed with his hand resting atop the pillow displaced to the floor. His neck hurt when he turned away from the bright morning sun. Served him right for sleeping like a co-ed after a bender. He rose to his elbows, looking out at the rolling Texas countryside and rolled his neck left and right.
He was on the wrong side of the bed. He never slept on this side.
Vanessa. It all came back to him in a rush: driving her to the dance, feeling protective of her, wanting to dance with her. Barely speaking once they arrived at his home. No pillow talk before or after. Just sex.
Mind-blowing, unsurprisingly satisfying sex.
Twice. Once in this bed. Once in his shower.
He reached across the bed but his hand met only mattress. Mat flipped over.
Alone. No sound coming from the bathroom. No shoes or dress on the floor. He glanced at the clock. Just after seven on a Sunday morning.
Alone. Damn it, was this deflated, empty feeling the reason Vanessa had such a hard time letting go of their night in the hayloft? He’d been the one to leave early that time, to put a little space between them. And he’d still wound up right back in bed with her because he couldn’t forget that night, either.
Mat got up, grabbed jeans and a tee from his dresser and slammed his hat down on his head. Tit for tat was fine, but he would not still be thinking of Vanessa in four months’ time. He’d exorcise her memory one way or another. That way was work. Saddle a horse and get lost on the Double Diamond for a day or two. There were fences that needed fixing, a salt lick to check. He needn’t hang around waiting for another of Vanessa’s we-should-just-be-friends talks. Not this time.
• • •
Vanessa made it to her room without seeing anyone in her family. Not surprising since it was barely six in the morning. Kathleen and Jackson would still be sleeping after the dance last night. Grandfather and Nathaniel, however — maybe it was dumb luck that led her back to the house and to her room without anyone noticing she hadn’t spent the night there.
Why the thought bothered her at the age of twenty-six she had no idea. It wasn’t as if she had a curfew. Even when she had a curfew, breaking it was the norm not the anomaly.
She slipped into the en suite bath, shucked her clothes and turned the water as hot as she could stand it. What had she been thinking? Spending an evening talking to Mat was one thing, sleeping with him again — and without telling him about the baby — was a whole different ball game. One she didn’t want to play in. It was deceitful.
The kind of thing she’d have thought nothing of just a few short weeks ago.
Maybe she wasn’t so different after all. Selfish. Secretive. What kind of mother would she be if she wouldn’t even be honest with the baby’s father?
Vanessa scrubbed at her skin until it turned pink, as if that might ease the ache in her heart or help her forget the night before. When the water finally turned cold, she wrapped herself in a fluffy white bathrobe and sank into a chair. Folding her legs beneath her, Vanessa stared out the window for a long moment. She couldn’t see any movement from the foreman’s house but she stared intently in the direction for a long time anyway. Wanting to see Mat. Wanting to still be snuggled against him instead of alone in the big house. That was the problem. Last night was supposed to assuage this need to be with him. To exorcise him, at least a little bit, not leave her wanting him more.
Mat would hate her. He might not want a baby, but the Mat she’d gotten to know over the past few days was not the kind of man to run away from his obligations. That thought was scarier than his hatred. Because how could she ever trust how he might or might not feel about her now? All of his feelings toward her would be tied up with his feelings about the baby.
Suck it up, Van, you created this mess.
A thin trail of smoke lifted from the treetops, a signal that Mat’s furnace had switched on. Vanessa imagined how the house would look in the bright morning light. If she hadn’t run away, maybe they could have finally, really talked.
Scratch that. She’d come up with a million reasons not to tell him about the baby since that day at the gas station. She’d have come up with one more, Vanessa realized, because the truth was she didn’t want to take the risk. Keeping the baby a secret meant she didn’t have to watch Mat run away from her and she didn’t have to risk him staying with her because of a child who was no larger than her thumb at this point.
God, you’re hopeless.
Okay, plan of attack. She’d contacted the real est
ate agent. She didn’t need Paul’s permission but a small voice inside insisted it was only right that she let him know the King William District house would be sold. Vanessa booted up her computer and shot a quick email to him. She checked her messages. No annoyed comebacks to her text the day her world changed, no more attempts to contact her. Maybe they were both growing up. A little.
A light knock at her door interrupted Vanessa’s thoughts. Kathleen stood on the other side, holding two steaming mugs of coffee.
“I thought I heard you come in.” She smiled and offered a cup. “Want to talk?”
Not really, Vanessa thought. But then, not talking hadn’t exactly helped her figure out how she was going to right the direction of her life.
She ushered Kathleen inside. They sat across from each other for a long moment, holding mugs of cooling coffee. Finally Kathleen sipped and winced.
“Decaf. I hate decaf.”
“I hate coffee in general.”
Kathleen laughed. “I guess we’re quite a pair. And here we are with nothing more to talk about than coffee.”
Vanessa smiled and took a sip from the heavily milk-and-sugared mug. Not bad. Not better than an ice cold glass of green tea, though. She set the mug on the little table. “Still not a fan.”
“Me, either.”
Both women looked out the window for a moment.
“You don’t have to be nice to me, you know. You don’t have to bring me coffee or drive me to town functions.” The words sounded harsher than Vanessa intended. “I appreciate the thought, but it isn’t as if … ”
“I know I don’t have to. Jackson calls it my mother-hen side. I just can’t seem to help myself.” She scraped at her thumbnail. “I don’t like not liking you. We’re sisters. We should at least be friends, but we don’t even really know each other.”
Vanessa swallowed. Kathleen wanted to be friends? Maybe there was hope yet.
“I’m game if you are.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “It’s why I came back early — ” well, part of the reason, “ — I know I’m not the easiest person to like, but I don’t like being the girl who doesn’t take responsibility for her life. So I’m trying to change. Trying to figure some things out.” Time to address the elephant between them. “I’m sorry I went all Psycho and narked your secret out to Grandfather last summer. You and Jackson are perfect for each other, even if your first marriage to one another started out as a drunk-fest in Mexico. I was so mad at Paul for leaving and freaked out about holding on to my identity that I couldn’t let anyone be happy. I nearly ruined things for you, with the ranch and with Grandfather. Most of all with Jackson.”
Texas Wishes: The Complete Series Page 25