Texas Wishes: The Complete Series

by Kristina Knight

  Vanessa wanted to tell him she wasn’t looking, but didn’t. “No. He’s looking for a lot more than me.”

  “Then he’s a fool. Van, I’m sorry that my problems made your younger years hell.” He put his arm around her shoulders and Vanessa’s breath caught. She couldn’t remember Nathaniel ever holding her. “Don’t let them color your future, too, okay?”

  Vanessa could only nod. A second later, the moment was shattered when Gillian pushed between them.

  “Now that is the kind of man you should look for the next time around, sweetie.” Gillian pulled Vanessa forward and pointed toward the crowd. Cowboy types filled her vision, a few older and wearing casual pants instead of jeans. No one extraordinary stood out.

  “Give her a break, Gillian.”

  “Hello to you, too, Nathaniel. Here, hold this,” she said waspishly and pushed her champagne flute into his hands. She pointed again and pushed Vanessa another couple of inches forward. “There. Matias Barnes. One of the California Barnes, you know. His daddy invented some kind of computer chip and Matias was supposed to be some kind of wunderkind, too, until he took a hiatus a few years ago. I wonder what brings him to Texas? Not that it matters. What matters is we know he’s here now and he’s perfect for you, sweetheart. He has his millions, so there’s no marriage needed to inherit,” she chattered on as if Vanessa’s world wasn’t falling apart.

  The crowd noise faded. Mat wasn’t just a cowboy? Had everyone known? She looked desperately around. Nathaniel seemed as stunned as she. Kathleen chatted with a few friends. Mitchum was nowhere to be seen but he always knew everything. And he hadn’t told her. Gillian kept pushing her across the floor until they were a few inches from Mat’s side.

  He wore his usual cowboy hat but the chambray shirt hugging his shoulders was one she hadn’t seen before. The buckle at his waist was nearly big enough to serve appetizers on and his boots were shined.

  “Matias Barnes, I’m Gillian Witte — ” the use of the Witte name wasn’t lost on Vanessa and she nearly laughed out loud. Obviously, Gillian was out of the loop. The Double Diamond was now hiring tech-geniuses to herd their cattle. “And this is my daughter, Vanessa. She planned this little get together.”

  “So I heard.” Mat held a longneck in one hand and sipped from it.

  Vanessa pushed aside the hysterical laughter and stepped away from her mother.

  “Matias, so nice to meet you.” She pasted a smile on her face, as if she hadn’t spent the last few weeks falling head over feet in love with the stranger before her. Vanessa held out her hand and ignored the zing of pleasure when his hand closed over hers. “Thank you for the introduction, Mother. I’ll catch up with you in a while.” Confusion screamed from Gillian’s expression, but her mother didn’t hesitate to give them room. The band started a two-step. “Let’s dance. My mother tells me you’re not from around here.”

  “You know I’m from California. And what the hell is your mother doing here?”

  “My mother is none of your concern. I thought you might be but somewhere between telling me about growing up in California you never mentioned Silicon Valley or Nob Hill or any of the other places a California Barnes might frequent.”

  Mat stiffened at her side before leading her onto the dance floor but instead of holding her at a distance, he pulled her to him. “This isn’t the time.”

  She ignored him. “So, I’m a party planner and a member of the family, but, tell me, what’s a software millionaire doing at our little ranch pretending to be a cowboy?”

  Mat had the grace to blanche. He stood a little straighter. “I received an invitation.”

  “Oh, you’re interested in cattle, then?” Vanessa pushed as much ice into the words as she could. How dare he lecture her on the perils of wealth when he had more money than Bill Gates? How dare he pretend his ex had wanted an upwardly mobile husband and not one loaded to the gills with not just the right job but apparently the right family connections as well? God, she’d been so stupid. First, she allowed Paul to use her to get to his inheritance and now she allowed herself to be duped by another rich boy with a trust fund. Worse, one who was playing at being an average guy.

  “It’s a hobby.”

  “Interesting. Hmm, I’d have picked you more for the fast car type of hobby.”

  “I outgrew fast cars a lifetime ago.”

  Was that a warning — a reminder that he’d also outgrown fast women? Vanessa didn’t care. She wasn’t like the woman who lied to him about a pregnancy to land a trust fund husband.

  She wasn’t going to saddle Mat Barnes, poor cowboy, with child support and baby bills. She didn’t need Matias Barnes paying her way out of the goodness of his cold heart, either.

  The song ended and they moved to the edge of the dance floor as the band struck up another tune. This time they didn’t pretend to dance. Vanessa took a flute of champagne from a passing waiter. “So, cattle, Texas, software. You’re a regular Renaissance man, aren’t you?”

  “Let’s not do this here.”

  “We don’t have to do this at all if you’ll tell me just one thing.” She lowered her voice. “What was it about the night of the wedding that made you try another socialite on for size?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Oh, I know you didn’t expect this outcome. Who wants to get pregnant from a one-night stand? Certainly not me. But it happened and I told you. Everything.” She clenched her teeth. “But you kept playing me, didn’t you? Was it about the money? You thought I’d go back to Old Vanessa if I knew you had money to spare?”

  “Only as much as you were using me to get Paul’s attention.”

  The song ended. Vanessa clapped her hands together once. Twice.

  “Well, I guess we both got what we wanted, didn’t we?”

  “I guess we did.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Vanessa woke with a pounding headache. She covered her head with her pillow, but that didn’t cut the brilliant Texas sun out of the room. Groaning, she rolled over. It should be illegal to feel hung over when you hadn’t even had a drink.

  After confronting Mat, Vanessa had escaped to her room and locked herself inside. Just as she’d done hundreds of times as a teenager. The main difference between then and now was then she’d had no real reason to sulk. Now she had every reason to feel betrayed.

  It was possible, she supposed, that no one else knew Mat’s secret. Possible. Not probable. Not with overprotective Mitchum leading the family. More likely he’d thought it was not a big deal that a software exec wanted to escape his life and so he’d said nothing about it. There was nothing wrong with that assumption. Vanessa hadn’t been exactly forthcoming about her issues with the past.

  With Paul.

  She’d done her level best to keep the relationship with Mat private. Apparently she’d succeeded until last night.

  Probably no other guests knew what happened on the dance floor. No doubt, her family had figured it out, although they wouldn’t know the precise reasons behind the meltdown.

  Sunlight slanted in through the curtains. She needed to face them, sooner rather than later.

  By the time she was showered and dressed, Vanessa felt more like her old self. Together. Not exactly strong, but ready to deal.

  Kathleen, Nathaniel, and Mitchum sat at the table, looking expectantly at the door when she walked in. No one pretended they weren’t waiting for her.

  Vanessa nodded. “Morning.” She poured a cup of tea and grabbed a muffin off the plate of the buffet table. She sat in her usual seat and picked at the pastry.

  “Van.” Nathaniel said her name and then nothing. He looked helplessly from Mitchum to Kathleen.

  “You want me to fire him?” Mitchum’s crackly voice made Vanessa smile.

  “No, I don’t want you to fire him.”

&nb
sp; “Good. He’s a good hand.” Her grandfather reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about his background.”

  “You could have told me.”

  Her grandfather looked chagrined. He shrugged. “I thought he would, or had.”

  “I’m sorry. It was Mat’s place to tell me. Not yours.”

  “I meant what I said last night. You did a great job on the sale preparations and the party. Just might hire you back for next year.”

  Vanessa chuckled. “Thanks.”

  “Are you okay? I only know what Grandfather and Dad told me. I think I might have reacted the same way, in your shoes,” Kathleen said.

  Vanessa tore the muffin to shreds but couldn’t bear to take a bite. “I actually wish I hadn’t reacted at all, especially not in front of strangers.”

  “As far as anyone outside the family could tell, you were dancing with the foreman and then you left. No one knows about you and Mat.” Nathaniel reached across the table to pat Vanessa’s hand. He offered a crooked smile that did nothing to stop the cold feeling around her heart.

  “I thought … ” Vanessa sighed. “I know it’s crazy. I thought we might actually have a future together. I didn’t care about his past, not when I thought he was poor. Knowing where he comes from changes things, though.”

  “It doesn’t have to.” Kathleen looked kindly at her. “I saw how you looked at him the other day. I heard what you said about taking your life back. If Mat was right for you then, what difference does a few million dollars make now?”

  What difference did it make? None of the expected differences, Vanessa realized. She still didn’t want Mat’s money. It was his honesty that she missed.

  “It just does,” she said. “I’m going to stay to finish the spreadsheets and then I’ll hand everything off to the accountants.” She stared out the window for a long moment, watching a bird float on the wind. “I’m leaving Texas. When I came up here in December, I thought I was leaving because I didn’t belong here. I know now that part of me does, but I can’t stay. Not now.” She stood. “I love you all.” Before they could talk her out of it, Vanessa went to her room to pack.

  • • •

  Three days later, Vanessa finally saw Lockhardt in her rearview mirror. She’d packed the day after the sale but there was a doctor’s appointment, and wrapping up the sale took longer than she thought it would. Longer than it should have since she avoided the barns during the day, when there was a chance Mat might walk in.

  Finally leaving Texas and her damned Porsche was getting nervous. Vanessa banged her head against the steering wheel. She hadn’t bothered to buy a new tire or have the spare replaced.

  Now she was stuck between Lockhardt and the ranch — again — with a flat.

  At least she was dressed for a walk back to town this time. No, she had her phone. Vanessa grabbed it off the adjoining seat, unplugged it from the short cigarette adapter and tapped in the number to Vern’s garage. He promised to be out in a few minutes — no snorting or sighing involved. As if people blew tires all the time.

  She took the picture from her purse and smiled. The first image of her baby, taken just the day before at her scheduled appointment. The appointment she’d imagined Mat attending just a few days before. He or she looked less like the peanut from the first sono and more like a little human. Kind of transparent but there were two arms and two legs and she could almost make out the fingers and toes. At least she imagined she could. At just over six months, the baby was become more real every day.

  Dust kicked up down the road and Vanessa watched as the big, black truck from the ranch appeared. Damn. Mat stepped down from the vehicle, placed his hat on his head and walked across the road.

  “Vern called. A kid ran off the road on the north side of town, so he’s going to be tied up for a while.”

  “Will they — ”

  “No serious injuries,” Mat cut her off. He looked uncomfortable. “Spare?”

  Vanessa shook her head. “We’ve been through the lecture, let’s just skip to the part where you drive me home.”

  “You sure you want to leave your Porsche on the side of the road where anyone might come vandalize it?”

  “You said no real Texan would bother.”

  “A Californian might.”

  “Good thing you’ll be driving me, then.”

  He smiled and they got into the truck. Vanessa felt inside her bag for the picture, and took a deep breath.

  “I’m not mad. I think you’re a jerk for letting me go on about Paul and not telling me the whole truth about your background, but I’m not mad.”

  He was silent for a long moment. “I’m sorry I accused you of using me to get to him.”

  “Thank you. Before you start driving, I was in San Antonio yesterday.” She pulled the picture from her bag. “I feel like a broken record but I’m not showing you this to get anything from you. You just have the right to know, if you want.”

  She held out the picture. Vanessa couldn’t breathe as Mat stared out the windshield. Finally he looked at her, his eyes raw with some emotion she was too afraid to name. He held the picture up and grinned.

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “She’s not a she yet. Or a he, either. I’ve been calling it Peanut.”

  “I’m sorry.” Anguish filled his words. “For being an ass at the café, first and foremost, but mostly for only telling you bits and pieces of my past when you were willing to lay yours out on the table for me.”

  Vanessa nodded. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not okay. I treated you like a pariah before the night of the wedding and after, like … someone I couldn’t trust.” He looked into her eyes. “I do trust you, Van. It’s myself I have the issues with.”

  She took his hand in hers and squeezed. He’d used her family’s nickname, but it didn’t mean anything even if she wanted it to. “Are you still going to buy the McIntyre place? You should, you know. You loved it there.”

  “My bid was accepted yesterday.” He grinned. “Gladys at the café and Mr. Yoder at the drugstore will be burning up the telephone lines when it comes out I didn’t take out a loan to buy it.”

  “Everyone will know your secret.”

  “It’s about time I stopped letting my secrets keep me. Vanessa,” he said after a long moment. His index finger traced over the image on the sonogram. “Have I left it too late?”

  Vanessa’s chest constricted. “I don’t need a father to pay my child’s bills. You can see him or her whenever you want. No matter where I wind up, I’ll make sure you have access, I promise.”

  “Whatever you want, I’ll make sure you have it. If you’ll stay.” Was that desperation in his voice? Vanessa’s heart broke open a little bit. Why couldn’t he be desperate for her, and not the baby? “What is it you want, Van?”

  She chuckled, the sound harsh in the quiet cab of the ranch truck. She looked at the picture in his hand. “I want to be a good mom. I want to plan another bull sale and ball, and this time I want it to be talked about all the way to Houston. I’d really love to learn how to ride a horse.”

  “I could teach you to ride. You’re already a good mom. Between the crew and your ideas, you’ll have no problem building up the sale over the next few years, if you stay.”

  She looked out the window and sighed. “I do want to stay.” I want you, a tiny voice inside cried.

  “Then you should stay.”

  “Sometimes it’s less about what you want and more about what you need.” I need you, the voice echoed in her head but Vanessa pushed it away. It didn’t matter what she needed. What mattered was what the baby would need: two parents who didn’t regret a quick decision made in the heat of passion.

  “I need you, Vanessa.” Mat handed her the picture. “Not b
ecause you’re carrying my baby. Because you made me face my demons. Because you didn’t give up, even when you were knocked down. Because you’re beautiful and you need to learn how to ride a horse even though you’ve lived on a Texas ranch.” His hands clenched and unclenched around the steering wheel. “I need you because when I was just Mat you were willing to take a chance on me. Now that you know I’m Matias and can give you anything you want, can you take that chance again?”

  “Oh, Mat.” Vanessa swallowed.

  “Whether you want to be the blue-jeans-and-boots girl or the fancy party girl. I need all of you, even the parts you haven’t shown me yet. You told me what you want, now tell me what you need.”

  The picture of the baby lay between them on the truck seat. A part of them both. A bond between them. Vanessa nibbled on her lower lip. There was no debate. The thing at the top of both lists, the thing she wanted and needed, was Mat.

  “I didn’t tell you everything I want yet,” she stalled.

  “Hit me.”

  “I want you to love me.”

  “I think I’ve been in love with you since the wedding. I have no idea why it happened that night. Or if it’s been happening in little bits since that night, but I do love you, Van. I love you and I want you and I need you. You. The baby is a bonus.”

  “I need you, too.” She whispered the words, words she’d never spoken to anyone. “I love you, Matias Barnes, despite your money.”

  He leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers. “And I love you despite yours.”

  Vanessa’s hands creeped up to hold Mat’s head in her hands. His hands crept around her waist, pulling her against him.

  “Do you want to come with me to sign the papers on our new home?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Mat started the truck and pulled onto the highway. Vanessa rested her head on his shoulder, watching Texas fly by outside the window.

  She’d never felt more at home.

  About the Author

  Once upon a time, Kristina Knight spent her days running from car crash to fire to meetings with local police — no, she wasn’t a trouble-maker she was a journalist. When the opportunity to focus a bit of energy on the stories in her head, she jumped at it. And she’s never looked back. Now she writes magazine articles by day and romance novels with spice by night. And any toddler-free, five-minute break she has. She lives on Lake Erie with her husband and 4-year-old daughter. Happily ever after.