“You and Liam aren’t over. Make sure it stays that way.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I never want to lose him.”
“Then head over there and spend some time with him.”
“You really think I should?”
He rubbed his chin then dropped his hand. “I’ve known Liam for a while, and it’s pretty clear how hung up he is on you. Maybe he’ll be defensive and hold back his thoughts, but I know he wants to see you. It’ll make him happy, even if he doesn’t show it.”
That was enough convincing for me. “Okay. I’ll leave now.”
“Good.” He stood up then headed to the door. “Because I’m having some girls over and I don’t want you to see all the nasty stuff going on tonight.”
I put my hands on my hips and gave him a pissed look. “So all that soft talk was just to get rid of me?”
“Yep.” He winked then shut my door.
After I changed into my workout clothes, I drove to Liam’s house. I was so nervous that sweat was forming on my stomach. I didn’t know you could even sweat there.
My heart was pounding, and my ears were thumping. When I listened to the sound of my own breathing, I thought my lungs might collapse. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. I guess I thought he might kick me out.
But then I realized I needed to be strong. I had to push my way back into his life. I couldn’t be soft spoken and polite. I had to be strong with him just like he was with me.
I pulled up in front of his house, but my newly found resilience disappeared. There was a pink Volkswagen parked in the driveway. The license plate read “smile” and there was a sticker of a peace sign on the rear window.
It definitely belonged to a girl.
My mind immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. He was having sex with her, in the bed I used to sleep in every night. The sheets that used to cling to my body now clung to hers. The muscled mass that once kept me warm in the middle of the night was now her personal heater.
Just the idea made me want to break down in tears.
But I had to stay calm. Liam told he wouldn’t be with anyone else, even if we weren’t together. He said he belonged to me, that he was still mine. I doubted him once and I couldn’t doubt him again.
If he really was sleeping around, I couldn’t get upset. We’d been broken up for months, and even if he said he wasn’t going to be with anyone else, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. If I hadn’t ruined everything, we’d still be together right now. If Liam was with another woman, I made it happen.
I steadied my emotions and regained control. If some other girl was using him for the night, it was temporary. Liam wouldn’t love anyone else but me. I could get him back. I wanted the relationship and the tenderness we shared. I was willing to fight with him if I had to.
I unzipped my jacket, leaving me in my sports bra and spandex. Maybe I could attract his attention in an unorthodox way. I left my car and walked to his door, still feeling like I might throw up. Every time I pictured him with someone else, I wanted to drink myself into a coma.
But Liam wouldn’t do that. If he said he wasn’t going to be sleeping around, then he wasn’t. There was some other explanation for the perky and bright car in his driveway. I just had to stay calm.
Before I knocked on the door, it opened.
A thin brunette was the first thing I saw. She had flawless skin, a complexion I would die for, and blue eyes that reminded me of the artic sea. Just from looking at her, I knew she possessed confidence. And she was smiling. I sincerely hoped she wasn’t smiling because Liam showed her a good time. “Oh.” She eyed me hesitantly. “Hi.” She walked around me. “See you later, Liam.”
Breathe. Just breathe.
I’d never seen that girl before, so I knew she wasn’t a friend. And she looked at me like I wasn’t worth looking at.
Liam appeared at the door, his face hard and unreadable.
I stared at him, waiting for him to speak first. I knew he was waiting for me to run away because of the mysterious girl that just left his house. He waited for me to jump to conclusions. He waited for me to ask who she was.
No, I wasn’t going to ask. I trusted him and I was proving it now.
Liam stared at me for another minute, his face not giving anything away.
I held his look and didn’t back down.
Finally, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Can I help you with something?” His eyes glanced down to my body, noticing my flat stomach.
“I wanted to continue our training.” I kept my voice steady and strong despite the effort. Naturally, I wanted to back down and be the weaker one of the two of us. But I held my ground, determined to get back the best thing that ever happened to me.
Liam rubbed his chin, his fingers touching the thick stubble that started to shadow his face. He looked tired and weathered, like he hadn’t slept in a long time.
I knew the feeling.
“You do?” he asked.
“If you’re willing to teach me.”
“I would never refuse a woman’s desire to learn self-defense.”
So I wasn’t special? He would do this with anyone? I kept my response in my throat, not wanting to provoke him. I guess seeing that ridiculously pretty and upbeat girl put me in a sour mood. “Then can I come in?”
After a moment of deliberation, he stepped aside.
I came in and took in the scent of his house. It smelled exactly the same. The faint tint of his cologne hung in the air, mixed with the fresh breeze from the windows he always kept open. I wanted to stare at the couches and see if they were rumpled from kinky sex. I wanted to know if the sheets on his bed were ruffled from a visitor. But I kept back my curiosity, knowing I could trust Liam.
He stared me down, his eyes dark and his stance rigid. He looked the same way he did when we were first getting to know each other. His large size and prominent muscles were frightening and intimidating. He looked at me with an unreadable gaze, his eyes reading me but giving nothing away. “No, I didn’t sleep with her.”
I hid the relief that washed through me, keeping my face stoic. “I wasn’t going to ask.”
“But I knew you were thinking it.”
“If you say you won’t sleep with anyone, then I believe you.” I held his gaze while I said it, wanting him to see my sincerity. “It’s none of my business why she was here, but I know it had nothing to do with sex.”
He studied my face for a long time, deciphering the curve of my lips and brightness in my eyes. It was hard to hide something from someone who knew you on such an intimate level. “I don’t believe you.”
“If I really thought you were sleeping with her, I would have driven away the moment I saw her car in the driveway. I would run, just like I always do, but I didn’t. I came to your door and knocked, knowing I wasn’t interrupting anything. And I knew I didn’t need to ring the doorbell because you weren’t upstairs…”
His eyes darkened slightly while he stared me down.
“I know you only love me…”
His eyes lightened at my words. Nothing else in his face changed. The blue eyes I adored gave away a small amount of emotion.
“And even if you did, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to get you back, Liam. I know I messed up this relationship, but I’m not letting you go without a fight. I may not be able to compete with most of the women of your past, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try.”
“You can’t compete,” he said quietly. “They got nothing on you.” He turned his back on me then headed toward his basement without another word.
His last words made my heart ache. He still loved me.
I followed him down to the basement. It looked exactly the same but I noticed the punching bag was new. He probably demolished the old one.
Liam pulled his shirt off then tossed it aside.
Once I saw his sculpted back, a quiet gasp escaped my lips. The skin was etched with hard and defined muscle. Every single layered was chiseled and de
fined. He was the ideal specimen for the male race, the definition of masculinity and strength. Every time he moved his arms, the muscles underneath contracted and became more prominent.
He was beautiful.
I noticed his size difference. He gained more muscle, being about twenty pounds heavier than he used to be. His arms were thick and swollen, and the muscles of his back were bulging with their size. He must be training for the ring.
When he turned around, I got a view of his chest. His hips were thin and the V was still noticeable. It disappeared into his jeans, out of sight. His abdomen was flat and hard, having grooves like the lines in the desert. His chest was sculpted and prominent, running into his shoulders to make a complete artwork. I was being rude by gawking but it was hard to turn away. Not only was he sexy and gorgeous, but he was beautifully strong. I missed the way that chest felt against mine, the way his body would press against my back and make me feel safe. His legs were thick like tree trunks, and they carried the base of his strength.
God, I missed him.
While I missed the sex, I missed the intimacy we shared most. He was attractive in an obvious way but there was so much more to him than what was on the surface. His heart was made of gold, putting others before himself in every instance. He was broken, but it was a good kind of broken. His pain and tortured past made him my perfect companion, someone who understood his hardships without trying.
When I looked at him, I felt my soul yearn for his.
“I miss you,” I blurted.
He held my gaze and took a deep breath. “You know I miss you.”
I just wanted to hug him, to wrap my arms around him and feel him reciprocate that affection. Even if it only lasted a minute, I would gladly take it over nothing.
Liam grabbed his gloves then pulled him on, breaking my thoughts. We were going to train, so I had to put my heartbreaking emotions to the side. When he adjusted their tightness, he grabbed my gloves and approached me.
Whenever he came close to me, my heart raced wildly, responding to him in a special way. He grabbed my wrist, making my skin burn from the touch, and then he fitted the glove on each finger. He moved slowly, taking his time like he was treasuring the contact between us.
I didn’t want to break the hold. I stared at his hands, which were twice my size, as he fitted the glove. Then he adjusted the other one, taking longer than he ever had. It wasn’t a hug but it would have to suffice.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate when I said it. Liam made me strong and I wanted him to know that, to never forget.
His eyes darkened at my words, a look of approval in his eyes. Then he stepped back. “Give me your best shot.”
Without thinking, I threw my fist right at his face.
He blocked it then stepped back.
I threw another hit and he stepped out of the way.
“Your hits are stronger.” That was all he said.
I hopped on my feet and gave him my best effort. He continued to block my hits without hurting me at the same time. I felt like we’d done this a lot and hadn’t moved onto other things. I wasn’t sure what else there was to learn, but I knew it was more than this. “Let’s spar.”
He dropped his hand, giving me a look I’d never seen before. “You want to fight me?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. I raised my gloves to my chest to show him I meant business.
He glanced down at my hands then looked back in my eyes. “You want me to hit you?”
“I know you won’t hurt me.”
His eyes flashed again, but this time, I had no idea what it meant. There was no approval or joy. But there wasn’t disappointment either. “You want me to hit you?” he repeated.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation.
I could tell he was unsure. “Let’s try some blocking first…”
“Liam, I can do it.” I gave him a desperate look. “I won’t run. I’m ready.”
He studied my face for a moment. “Well, I’m not.”
What was that supposed to mean?
“We’re barely holding on by a thread right now. I’m not ready to risk you entirely.”
That hurt. “I promise I won’t run.”
When he looked down, I knew the conversation was over. “I’m going to teach you how to kick and block. We’d been spending so much time on the arms that we’ve neglected the lower part of your body.”
I felt like he slapped me. He didn’t trust me not to run out on him, but I guess I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t argue with him as he showed me different kicks and techniques. My legs were more powerful than my arms, so it was a little easier for me. He showed me how to block with my knees and the right points to hit on a target. By the time the session was over, we were both covered in sweat.
Liam’s chest was covered in droplets, and he breathed heavily. When he grabbed a towel and wiped his face, I snuck a glance at his body and let myself fawn over him. I wasn’t immune to his sex appeal. He was innately sexy, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. It made me miss him even more.
When my need for him started to hurt my heart, I took off my gloves then walked up the stairs, unable to look at him for a second longer. When he put on a shirt, it would be a little easier for me. His body represented more than just strength and power. He was a concrete wall, something that would protect me against everything. But now it wasn’t his job to protect me anymore.
I moved to his backdoor then looked outside. His backyard was covered in darkness. I wondered if he’d taken care of my garden. I understood if he didn’t. It was something he and I did together everyday. It would be impossible to stand outside and not remember me, to not feel me.
Liam came to my side then flipped on the light.
The backyard was illuminated in the light, shining on the blooming California Poppies and the other flowers thriving in their boxes. The plants grew tall, their leaves a deep green. Every living thing was pampered and loved.
“You took care of it…”
He stared out the window into the darkness. “I could never let it die.”
I placed my hand against the window, feeling the temperature difference. “They look so healthy…did you sing to them?”
He rubbed his chin then dropped his hand. “Every day.”
I turned my head and looked at him, somehow loving him even more than I ever thought possible. “I’ve never heard you sing.”
“I’m not very good at it.” A slight smile stretched his lips. But instantly, it was gone.
“I’m sure it was beautiful…” I turned back to the window, amazed by how beautiful the garden was.
We stood in silence, staring at the place we both spent afternoons tilling the soil and watering the plants. I would make fresh lemonade and we would enjoy it together. Most of the time we didn’t speak, but words were unnecessary. We always had a silent form of communication, understanding one another without the use of words.
Liam stepped away then headed toward the living room.
With a heavy sigh, I turned around followed him. This was my time to leave, my time to say goodbye.
Instead of stopping at the front door, he kept going. Hopeful, I followed him.
He grabbed the remote and sat on the couch. “I Love Lucy?”
That was the last thing I expected, but I was so pleased by the question. “Sure.”
He grabbed a plastic bag from the end table and pulled out a few bags of Skittles. “Want some?”
“Do you even need to ask?” I sat beside him on the couch and held my hand out.
He ripped it open then poured them into my hand. Then he dropped the remains into his palm.
I sat beside him then ate my candy, but I was consciously aware of how close he was to me. He didn’t put his arm around me or rest his hand on my thigh like he usually did. His hands were kept to himself, away from me.
I hid my disappointment. But I was stupid for expecting anything more from him.
I knew this was all he could give me right now, our ‘friends but more than friends’ relationship that we used to have. It was slow and steady, just like before. If that was what he needed, I would give it to him.
We both laughed at the same parts when Lucy did something comical. Ricky would always get upset, living with his wife and her maniacal schemes, but it was clear how much they loved each other. Liam and I were the same way. Even if we weren’t showing it in the most obvious way, that love was still there, shining bright and ringing true.
Chapter Three
Liam
For the past few months, Keira had never showed up at my house unexpectedly. She was timid and fearful, cornering me in public places so she wouldn’t crowd my space. She was never aggressive, but she it showed it for the first time the other night.
It was ironic that it was the night Theresa came over. She and I prepared our business presentation until it got late. Theresa was talkative and upbeat, but she wasn’t the most annoying person in the world. I could deal with her. She definitely wasn’t a psychotic bitch like Adrianna, who I avoided at all costs because I honestly thought I might slap her.
But it shouldn’t matter what Adrianna does. It should only matter what Keira does, and she was the one who walked out on me, perfectly aware of Adriana’s sinister intentions. Expressing my frustration wouldn’t change that fact.
When Keira came over the other night, I fell in love with her all over again. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment or how it happened. Just being with her, looking at the garden we made together, and watching TV just like we used made a bell ring in my heart. She didn’t touch me and gave me space, which I appreciated, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t desperate to hold her.
When I fitted her gloves on her hands, I felt the familiar burn in my heart and lungs. I felt an innate compulsion to crush my mouth against hers, feeling her tiny frame against my massive one. The distance between us was brutal. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and never let go.
I’d never gone this long without having sex as a single guy. When Keira and I started dating, I was patient and didn’t complain, settling for her heated kisses and the way she kissed my neck. But I knew she was worth the wait.
Uncrushable (Forehead Kisses #3) Page 2