by S. E. Dosher
“Hello?” my voice croaks into the phone.
“Meet me at the café in thirty minutes, we’ve got some things to discuss,” Paul demands.
I inhale slowly then exhale raggedly, “Okay,” I say and end the call.
When I finally walk through the front doors, I’m twenty minutes late. The drive from Stephen’s is much farther than my house. Paul is sitting at our usual table, and he’s already eating what I assume is the daily brunch special.
“I figured if I wanted to ever see your face again I had to offer to feed it,” he says as I pull out the chair and sit.
“A girl never refuses free food,” I say as way of a reply.
Things have never been awkward between Paul and I. From the very first day we met in junior high homeroom with Mrs. Chrisley, things have never been tense…until today.
He avoids my gaze while silently eating until the waitress has taken my order.
“So I assume you didn’t have me come just so we could awkwardly avoid talking, we could have continued doing that without food.” I say and the corners of his lips turn up, threatening a smile.
“Yes, we could have, but then I wouldn’t have been graced with your winning personality, and we couldn’t have that,” he says and pops a grape into his mouth then coughs and slaps his chest as he chokes on it.
“I haven’t even gotten my food yet, I can’t give you the Heimlich until I’ve eaten a hearty breakfast,” I deadpan.
“Man what a bitch, won’t even save my life without enjoying her pancakes first,” he teases in return.
“Oh, you know I’d save your life over anything…even pancakes.”
“I know,” he says and smiles at me. “So are you feeling better this morning?”
“I am, a little. I might have figured some things out last night.” I admit.
“Might have?”
“Yeah, things are still a little gray.”
“Stop being stubborn and waiting for me to ask, and just freaking tell me already,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Well, since you finally asked,” I widen my eyes at him, “I think I’m ready to give Niko a second chance.” The words rush out of my mouth so fast I’m not sure he understood them until he starts choking on the water he was drinking.
He pats his chest several times and holds his hand up to stop me from standing.
“You’re determined to choke to death today, aren’t you?” I say with only a hint of the humor the question should hold.
“I have to admit, that is not what I thought you were going to say,” he says, and then clears his throat loudly after his speaks.
My brow pulls together and my eyes squint, “What did you think I was going to say?”
“Umm…” he pauses and clears his throat again, but this time I’m positive it’s just a stall tactic. “Well, I don’t really know what I was expecting, but I didn’t think you’d have your mind made up yet. More like I was waiting for you to lay out the pros and cons of each of them for me. You know, a little Ross and Rachel pros and cons list making.”
“Yes, I remember the episode. I also remember Ross getting himself in trouble because of those lists.”
“Nah, that’d just happen on a TV show. In real life they’d never know. So do you want to make some lists with me?”
I shake my head with an amused grunt, “No, you weirdo, I don’t. I’ve thought about this non-stop and made list after list in my head about all the reasons why I care for Niko and why I don’t. Trust me I’ve thought it all through, I don’t need to regurgitate it to you, or write it down on paper. It won’t change the way I feel.”
“Okay,” he holds his hands up admitting defeat. “I’m not trying to change your mind, you just haven’t talked to me about any of this, and you usually do. I just don’t want you to jump in to anything without being sure.”
“But what horrible thing would happen if I did?” I ask, and then pause as the waitress brings my pancakes and refills my coffee. “Thank you,” I tell her.
“What do you mean?” he asks, trying to get me to hurry up and stop spreading butter on my warm pancakes.
“If I give Niko a second chance, and we actually spent that time getting to know everything there is to know about each other. Would that be such a bad thing?”
“Like completely starting over?”
“Mostly, I mean there are some basic things we don’t know about each other, but then there’s some deeper things we already know. I already feel connected to him, which I think is really weird since I don’t know basic things like what his favorite color is, or his favorite food, or even how he takes his coffee.”
“Black,” he says then raises his eyebrows at me. “You know that, the whole country knows that, and blue is his favorite color.”
I snicker, “But I don’t want to learn about him from doing a Google search, I want him to share those things with me naturally. I knew what his cock looked like before I’d ever been in the same room with him; everything is backwards. I just want to give us a chance to do it right and see how it works out.”
“I can see where that would work for both of you, but what about Stephen? You know he loves you right? I mean you couldn’t have missed that.”
“No, I didn’t miss that, mostly because he’s told me.” I inform him.
“No fucking way. He actually told you he loved you?” His mouth drops open, but I pause to stuff my mouth full of syrupy goodness. “Answer me!” he demands so I shrug my shoulders until I swallow.
“Well, he thought I was asleep when he said it, but I wasn’t, and I heard him. Of course, I stayed quiet, so he doesn’t technically know I heard him.”
“You were asleep like you’ve slept together?”
I sigh, “Yes, Ms. Prude we slept in the same bed, but no we haven’t ‘slept’ together. Until last night everything was completely innocent, but after my break down at the club things progressed. Just a little.” I lean forward and whisper, “Foreplay, but I think it was a mistake.”
Paul’s eye grow to double their size, “You think?”
“It was a mistake, but at the same time it helped me realize I wanted to be with Niko; with him is where my heart truly lies. So I guess at the same time it happened for a reason.”
“Was it good?” He completely ignores my revelation for the juicy information.
I don’t even try to avoid his questions, “Well, hell yes, it was good. But not as good as with Niko,” I say and then cram more pancake in my mouth.
“Lord have mercy, you are penis whipped, aren’t you? I never, ever thought this day would come, but I should have known. That Niko must lay the pipe good to have you clamoring for more.”
“Shut your mouth, with the way you’ve been acting lately, I’m starting to wonder if there might be someone in your life you’re clamoring after…I don’t know maybe someone I share a gene pool with?”
I wasn’t sure I was going to bring up the encounter I heard between Paul and Brock, but since everything seems to be back to normal between us, I can’t leave without knowing.
His face turns a sickly shade of ivory at my question, but he doesn’t answer immediately. His mouth opens and shuts then opens again.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you promised you wouldn’t, but really, does Brock think he’s fooling anyone? I’ve always known there was a chance he liked the fellas, but I was never sure. To be honest, I’m not sure he likes all the fellas, but rather one in particular. What do you think?” I push my plate to the side, and put my hands under my chin, leaning my elbows on the table. Then I bat my eyelashes a couple times for effect.
“Oh fuck,” he breathes out, and I can already see his face gaining color back. Unfortunately, it’s a bright shade of red. “Umm, I don’t know what I can say that won’t get me in trouble.”
“Is he happy? Are you happy? That’s what matters most to me.”
He beams a smile at me, and I already know the answer without him speaking the words.
***<
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“Hello?” I answer once I’m back in my car.
“Thank God. Brook, I need you to go to the industrial district for a photo shoot. Something came up with the regular guy, and you’re all I have,” Kiki chirps in my ear.
“Okay, what time do I need to be there?” I ask, knowing it’s going to take me forever to get there.
“An hour ago, but since I just got a hold of you, I’ll tell them you’ll be there in one hour. Enough time?”
“Yes, I can be there. I’ve got my gear in the trunk. Text me the address.”
“Will do,” she pauses. “Oh, are you okay? You were a real mess last night. I don’t know what happened, but you looked like someone had just run over your favorite pair of Jimmy Choo’s.”
I roll my eyes at what must possibly be her biggest nightmare - losing a pair of shoes. “Yes, I’m fine. It was just a rocky night, but I think I’m starting to get things sorted out now.
“Oh good, I really need you to step it up today. This is a big client for us.”
“Who is it?” I ask curious if I should be nervous.
“Honestly, I’m not really sure, another editor called frantic for a photographer, so I offered you.”
“Do you know what I’ll be shooting?” I asked, starting to get even more nervous not knowing what I’m walking in to.
“Not a clue, but the set assistant will have the details, and everything is ready for you. All you have to do is point and shoot, or whatever magic it is you pull off behind that camera.”
Chapter 6
Using the address Kiki sent me, I twist and turn along the roads of an industrial district. Tall, monochrome buildings flank the streets covered in pigeons and their poop. The only other traffic I’ve seen are semi-trucks hauling whatever goods leave this area.
It wasn’t too long ago my afternoon would have been spent following Niko to whatever location his movie was shooting. Or possibly trolling the empty bars as they cleaned up from the previous night, hoping to get an idea of where he might be headed that night. No matter what I was doing, there was no doubt Niko and his whereabouts would have been part of my plan.
The GPS on my phone says my destination is in front of me, a tall black building with almost as many windows as bricks. I park behind a white van I know belongs to InTune, and then gather my gear from the trunk. Quickly flinging it over my shoulder, I rush to the front doors, hoping I’m not too late. Pissing off the entire crew is not how I want to start this mystery job. A note on the elevator doors tells me to go to the sixteenth floor. The inside of the elevator matches the rest of what I’ve seen of the building, sparse and run down, but when the doors open I’m greeted by a completely different setup.
Every inch of the walls are covered with different backdrops: white, black, multicolored, trees, clouds, and even a green screen. In the middle of the room is a flurry of people with a single man barking out orders. Dread spreads inside me, this entire set up reminds me of my time on the other side of the camera; the tension in the air, and the chaotic roaming of people fighting to look busy. I know instantly this won’t work for me, or my creativity.
“Brook?” A slender man says as he rushes toward me.
I nod, “I’m Brook, nice to meet you.” I offer him my hand, but he just ignores it.
He makes an impatient noise in his throat then pulls me forward by the strap of my camera bag. “We’re set and ready, we’ve been waiting.”
I immediately feel steam rush up my neck. “I’m aware, but I only got this job…” I pause and look at my watch. “Forty-two minutes ago, so actually I’m early as I was told I had an hour, so I actually have an additional eighteen minutes.”
His eyes squint and a vein in his forehead bulges, but I don’t retreat. I left this world once because I was too scared to stand up for myself from the start and let things get out of hand; I refuse to allow that to happen again.
Finally, his brow softens and his shoulders lose their defensive stance. “Yes, yes. I do apologize, however we’ve been here for almost four hours getting set up and would like to get started soon so we don’t run over our allotted time.”
“Well then, how about we stop bickering and do that.” I add a small smile at the end. I have no reason to be a bitch as long as I’m treated like a human being, and not a petulant dog refusing to obey his every command.
“Very well,” he says and gestures for me to continue on to the still bustling group of people in the middle of the room. “What have you been told about the shoot today?”
I feel the corners of my mouth tip up because I know my answer will not please him, “Absolutely nothing besides the address of the building.”
He rolls his eyes so feverishly, I’m afraid they might not turn back down. “That’s just fabulous. But so be it. It’s nothing complicated anyway, we’re simply shooting some manly actor for a feature interview spread for the next edition. We need three good shoots and we’ll be done.”
“What’s the interview about? Is there a theme? Anything?” I ask hoping for some small amount of guidance.
“No idea, just a standard interview we need images for,” he huffs out a long breath. “Are you okay with that?” His vile tone hangs in the air, almost threatening to slap me if I’m not.
“Of course I am. I’ll just do a variety of shots so they can have their pick.”
His thin lips purse at me, but his head bobs in agreement. Then he turns to a young woman holding a clipboard with a headset on. “Would you please let Mr. Gallo’s manager know the photographer will be ready in five minutes?”
“Excuse me?” I ask before a lump the size of Texas threatens to seize my throat. “Mr. Who?”
Completely over my questions, the slender man whips his head toward me, “Mr. Nickolas Gallo. I’m sure you’ve heard of him, that’s who you have the pleasure of photographing today. This is probably a big deal for someone like you, so I suggest you bring your A game.”
My brow furrows at his shitty attitude, and the fact that he so easily looks down on me, not even knowing the first thing about me, but I obviously have bigger things to worry about. I can’t photograph Niko, no way in hell. I’m just figuring things out, finding who I am again with a camera in my hands. I cannot jeopardize what little clarity I’ve found.
I pull my phone from my back pocket and call Kiki. It rings…and rings…and rings before finally going to her voicemail. One thing I learned the first day working with Kiki is that she never checks her voicemail, if someone needs her bad enough they will call back, but I also know she always has her phone, so if you get her voicemail it’s because she’s screening your call.
That bitch knew all along who she was sending me here to shoot. She only pretended not to know so I wouldn’t refuse her, which I damn well would have done. Just when I was starting to trust her and think I had found my place again, the same deceit that pushed me out shows back up in the form of a perky fashion editor…and slender set assistant as well.
Since she won’t answer my call I send her a quick text message:
Can’t fucking believe you did this to me!
I hit send. Then decide I’m not quite done.
IF I actually make it through this shoot, you owe me BIG time!!!
I add the extra exclamation points just to prove how serious I am about being pissed at her. I don’t expect to hear back, mostly because I assume she has a spy here watching my every move. So I decide on another strategy.
“Umm excuse me…” I call after the slender guy whose name I still haven’t been given…or asked for.
He turns to leer at me with an increased level of disdain etched on his face, “Yeesss?” He says in a condescending singsong voice.
“I would like to speak with Mr. Gallo before we being shooting. Could you please have him come out while I set up my equipment?”
“Are you serious? This isn’t social hour. If you’d like to get his autograph you can do it once we’ve finished…I mean really!” Both of his hands float i
n the air just above his head, his way of emphasizing his frustration. However, it’s just increasing his cartoonish appearance even more.
“Yes, I am serious,” I respond with a straight face and turn to set-up my camera on the tripod in front of the white backdrop.
He mumbles under his breath, and I’m positive not being able to hear what he’s saying is a blessing. His helper speaks into her headset, and butterflies appear in my stomach, but I don’t know why I’m nervous. It’s Niko; I just shoved my hand down his pants the night before while he all but confessed his love for me…so why are my insides twisting at the thought of seeing him? Then I remember ending my night with someone else’s tongue between my legs and the nervousness makes complete sense.
Slender man and helper-ette position themselves near a set of swinging double doors, and I can’t keep my eyes from finding their way to them as well. I know he’s back there, and I wonder if he knows I’m here. What will he do when he sees me?
The doors fly open causing a loud bang as they collide with the wall. A tall man I know is Niko’s manager enters the room with his cell phone glued to his ear and his voice booming over every other conversation in the room. His eyes scan over all the faces, but he doesn’t focus on any one, instead he finds an empty corner across the room and beelines for it.
Niko floats through the door a few seconds after him. He’s dressed in dark, ragged jeans and a plain black t-shirt, exactly what he wears ninety-nine percent of the time. His eyes don’t search the room; they immediately come to me and don’t waver. I can’t read his face; he doesn’t look surprised, excited, or even disappointed to see me. He just looks determined to reach me.
“You came!” he exclaims as he finally draws near me, and as the words leave his mouth a calmness touches his eyes.
“You knew I’d be here?”
His eyes squint slightly at my question, “Well, yes, I told Kiki I wouldn’t do the shoot with anyone except you.”
“Of course you did,” I say as I shake my head at Kiki’s lies.
“What’s going on? You didn’t know that?” The calmness is quickly replaced with a sad confusion I don’t like seeing.