by S. E. Dosher
I exhale slowly vowing to be honest with him from here on out, honest with myself and him. Both of us are suffering, as is Stephen, and it’s all because of me.
“No, I didn’t know until I got here. Kiki told me another photographer couldn’t be here, and she didn’t know who the shoot was for.”
“Well, that was a terrible lie, Kiki knows everything goes on at InTune.” The corners of his lips turn up, and I don’t know if the fact I’m that gullible is humorous to him, or if it’s just the fact we’re actually talking like grownups.
“Yeah, well, here I am.” I lift my hands like I’m presenting myself to him.
“I see that, and so am I, so what are you gonna do with me now?” He lifts one eyebrow and his lips smirk in that sexy way only ornery men know.
We both laugh; it starts out as a slow chuckle and then simultaneously builds into full force belly laughing from both of us. I clutch my stomach as my eyes begin to tear.
Through the wetness I can see slender man approaching us and I’d bet a million bucks he’s perturbed we’re laughing.
“Mr. Gallo, is everything all right?” slender man asks softly to Niko, trying hard to exclude me from the conversation.
I hear Niko slap him on the back through his laughing fit and finally speak, “Sure man, can’t you tell everything’s perfect?”
He’s words fly through the air, penetrate my chest, and plant directly in my heart. “Everything’s perfect,” he said, and for the first time in weeks I agree.
Chapter 7
“Let’s get some more candid shots now,” I tell Niko, the rest of the crew having become nothing but background noise.
“Just tell me what you have in mind, I’m all yours,” he says with a smile and wink.
He knows the winking gets me every time, and he’s been doing it since the moment I pointed the camera at him. We started with him in front of the plain white backdrop because it’s simple and focuses all the attention on the main subject. It doesn’t hurt when the main subject also knows he’s hot, and the posing becomes unnecessary and more like a dance between him and me.
Honestly that’s what it’s been, more like a lengthy act of foreplay than a photo shoot. I can feel my legs grow weak when he gives me that look, like he wants to rip my clothes off. That’s not something that can be faked for the sake of the camera. Even when he smiles there’s a hidden agenda in the crook of his eyebrow and the tilt of his lips.
Every inch of my skin is on fire and needy, and I know the lightest brush or sensation will send me over the edge. One long tease-a-thon with Niko as the bait; that’s what I’ve gotten myself in to. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying myself. This kind of easygoing playfulness is a side of Niko I haven’t been able to experience often, and I know I’d like to see more of it.
“We’re going to get some shots outside, we don’t need any assistance,” I shout over my shoulder to slender man whose been giving me the evil eye the entire time.
“What? You’re going outside?” he yells in my direction then turns to Niko. “Mr. Gallo, that was not part of the agreement, you don’t have to do that.”
“No, we’re fine,” Niko tells him flatly as we pass by the murmuring group in the center of the room, and I snatch up my camera bag.
Once we’re in the elevator I feel the sparks bouncing back and forth between us even though he’s on the opposite side, as far away as he can get. His eyes move to the side and sneak a peek at me, and that’s when I know he can feel it, too.
“This is nice, I’m glad you’re here,” he tells me then takes two side steps toward me.
“It is,” I admit and take one side step toward him then pause.
He doesn’t speak; he simply takes the last step toward me as we both turn to face each other. His hands thread through my hair at the base of my neck, tilting it up toward him. Our bodies collide, and then he dips his head down until his lips are less than an inch from mine.
“I was so afraid you wouldn’t come. I needed to see you so badly, everything dies away when you’re not with me.” His voice is soft, yet I can feel every syllable he utters rush to my core, further fortifying the need I have for him.
“I’m here, and I can say without a doubt there’s no place I’d rather be,” I tell him honestly.
I feel his mouth growing closer to mine; my tongue swipes across my bottom lip in anticipation of his taste. The elevator dings and the doors fly open releasing all the pent up sexual tension into the empty lobby.
His eyes light with a smile then he dips the remaining distance and lightly brushes his lips against mine before pulling me by my hand to follow. My lungs have seized and refuse to draw in air. I just kissed him last night, several times, but today something has changed. Some blockade inside my heart has been knocked down, allowing me to truly feel everything that is Niko, every single emotion that ties him to my heart.
Tragically, I know Stephen is the reason I was able to let loose of what held me. I know his words convinced me I owed myself a chance to be happy, no matter who it was with, but all along Niko was the one that haunted my heart, and the one that will help me find forgiveness and the trust in myself I’ve lost.
My feet halt, forcing Niko’s hand from mine as he walks a couple more steps. I feel the loss of his touch slowly then in a rush of cool air, knowing after what I have to tell him I may never feel it again. There’s no sense in continuing to experience the love I could have with him before I confess my sins and know where we stand.
“I have to tell you something,” I say with a scared voice I haven’t heard from my lips in a long time. Fresh tears sting my eyes and tighten my throat, cutting off my voice.
He turns to me, and his eyes search my face then soften. “Babe, you can tell me anything, but no matter what it is, nothing will change the way I feel about you.” He palms my jaw and swipes his thumb across my cheek. “Nothing.”
I lean into his touch then pull away swiftly, “No, I have to tell you, but you can’t touch me while I do.”
I turn to look out the glass doors, and though I should regret what I did with Stephen last night, I know it’s also what helped bring me back to a place where I can see a future with Niko.
“Last night, after I left the club,” I say on an airy breath of lamenting. “The driver took me to Stephen’s. I was upset; distraught because I couldn’t see a way we could be together. Finding forgiveness was lost to me.”
The tears had held on too long, and now flow from my eyes and drip from my face to the floor.
“Brook—” he tries to speak, but I can’t bear to hear his voice. I lift my hand to cut off his words.
“Let me finish, please.” I inhale deeply searching for the strength to tell him. “I thought all was lost, but Stephen helped me see I was just confused, and not accepting what I could truly have. Then things progressed, and it wasn’t until then, at the prospect of never being intimate with you again, of losing you forever, that I could finally see we were worth fighting for. I told you last night that there’d been no one else, and at the time, that was the truth.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation. I sure as hell don’t like it, but if it helped you be open to the chance of us again, then I’m not going to focus on it.”
I turn to look at him, and all I see is honest resolve on his face. No regret or blame, just love.
“We didn’t have sex, it didn’t go that far.”
He nods and relief touches his lips as they curve slightly.
“Good to know,” he adds then pulls me in an embrace. “Like I said, nothing will change how I feel about you. I fucking hate the idea of another man with you, but until we make a promise to each other, I can’t very well stop you.”
“I know, but it doesn’t change the regret I feel.”
“We have no time for regrets, babe; we only have time for us.”
***
“So tell me about them? Do you see them often?” Niko asks, and it’s only one of the thousan
ds of questions we’ve been throwing at each other as we walk the streets.
“Wait! Right there,” I say and push him against a brick wall between a pile of discarded wood and the rustiest dumpster I’ve ever seen.
“Seriously a dumpster?” He raises his eyebrows at me.
“It’s a very chic dumpster, now shut it and look mysterious. Like you’re contemplating what the elusive smell is coming from this very attractive looking trash heap.”
He turns his head toward the dumpster, his eyes squint quizzically, and it’s actually fucking hot. I click a hand full of shots before I answer his initial questions.
“Not often. My parents moved to New York years ago, and we weren’t ever that close anyway. Brock and I leaned on each other more than anyone else while we were growing up. Though, I think Brock is probably closer to them now than I am.” His gaze finds mine and we begin walking back down the empty street. “Actually, now that I think about it, I haven’t spoken to them in a couple months. I guess I’ve had other things on my mind recently.” I elbow him in the side and he mocks pain.
“Watch it with those boney things.” I roll my eyes at him and before I can refocus he pulls me into his body and tickles up my side. I squirm and try to jump away, but he won’t let me loose.
“Not fair!” I shriek, but my protest does nothing to stop his assault.
“I always play fair, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he deadpans while continuing to corral me with tickling fingers.
“Okay, okay,” I say breathlessly between giggles. “I give up, you win. Just no more, no more.”
He exhales a hearty laugh and pulls me against his chest. We’re both breathing heavy from our efforts. Our chests heave in unison and the shared act quickly sends heat pooling between my legs. He hands find their way to the waistband of my jeans and knead my flesh, an indication he’s having the same thoughts I am.
I push against him, walking in unison until his back is against the brick wall. The desire in his eyes burns me to the core, and this time I’m not going to let anything stand in the way of what we both long for. Pulling back, I unloop my camera bag from my shoulder and set it on a piece of wood on top of the pile. Reaching under my knee length skirt, I loop my finger under the edge of my panties and pull them down. I twirl them around on my finger and watch as Niko’s eyes darken with anticipation.
“Your panties seem to have fallen off,” he says, his voice thick with desire.
“I don’t know what happened.” I shrug my shoulders and flick the panties into the dumpster. “Oh no, I seem to have lost them completely. What ever will I do?”
“I think I can help you,” he says and grabs me by my arm, spinning me around so my back is to the brick wall with his body pressed against mine.
“I do hope you can,” I breathe as he attaches his mouth to my neck.
“Don’t you worry, miss, I’ll take care of you.”
I smile at his playfulness then shiver when I hear him unzipping his jeans.
Not a single soul has passed us since we’ve been walking the streets, so I don’t worry about getting caught, and for some reason the fact I’m about to be ravaged next to a dumpster doesn’t unnerve me in the least.
I feel his erection press against me but he doesn’t move, he completely stills.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation or want for discussion. In this moment, I’ve never wanted anything more.
“You need to be sure. I’ve lost you once. After I have you a second time, I won’t let go so easily…not for anything. So if you have any doubts you better speak them now.”
I move my hands from supporting my body against the wall and settle them on either side of his face, making sure his eyes are trained directly on mine. “I have no doubts. I did, but they were doubts about myself, not you. I forgave you the moment you told me the truth, I just couldn’t admit that to myself. If I forgave you then I’d have to forgive myself as well, and that was something I wasn’t ready to do. I didn’t know if I could forget everything I’d done to you, didn’t know if I deserved absolution from you.”
He pulls my hands from his face but doesn’t break eye contact. “Babe, to me you did nothing wrong. I knew that sort of thing came with this path in life, what you did didn’t hurt me. I’ve never had anything to forgive you for.”
I nod to show I understand as wetness springs to my eyes and a lone tear rolls down my face. He leans forward and kisses my cheek, stopping the tear’s path. I turn my head and find his lips. As our tongues touch, he puts his hands under my ass and lifts me up, looping my legs around his waist.
“This is mine now, Brook, and no matter what, you can never take it away again. No part of you, ever again.”
I feel the head of his cock pressing against my wetness and my hips move forward at the touch.
“I won’t,” I croak softly.
He shifts his hips back and when he moves them forward, he easily glides inside me. The sensation shoots through my entire body, it’s only been weeks since I felt him, but my body has been yearning for him every second of the day. My back arches off the wall and a moan pours from my lips.
“Fuck, so wet. God, I forgot how fucking perfect you are.”
He moves his hips back at an agonizing pace, and I feel him stretching me slowly. He thrusts back in quickly then pulls back so gently my hips push forward unable to bear the pleasure yet demanding more.
“Oh God, please,” I moan, needing him harder and faster.
“Please what?” he asks, his mouth pressed against my ear then he snakes his tongue out to trace the edge.
“Harder…please.” My voice drips with neediness.
He gives me exactly what I crave, his hips move harder and faster, rapidly pushing me toward my climax. With every plunge I feel the muscles in his back growing tighter as he searches for his own release.
My breath grows ragged, and my moans come in a steady stream.
“Oh fuck,” he growls in my ear then shifts his hips back, “Rub your clit, babe, you’re too fucking tight.”
I reach between us and easily find my swollen clit; one touch and I feel the walls of my sex tighten around his cock harder and he growls, letting me know he feels it, too.
His mouth collides with mine and the pressure of his kiss intensifies the heat inside me. My whole body grows tighter than a bow as waves of pleasure shoot through me, leaving my head dizzy and my mouth muttering his name. Just as my climax reaches its apex, Niko buries himself deep inside me and groans into my neck, covering it with satisfied kisses.
He lowers me to the ground as we both fight to even our unsteady breathing.
“Well, I’d say this has been a good day at the office,” he says as he slaps my bare ass.
“I would have to agree,” I say after I jump out of reach of any more spankings.
“I hope no one notices you seem to have lost your panties along the way.” He winks at me as he beams with manly pride.
“If anyone happens to look under my skirt long enough to notice, I think we’ve got bigger problems.”
He pulls me in and kisses me long and hard, his tongue moving slowly over mine, drawing out the passion as long as possible.
“You have no fucking idea how scared I was to see you today,” he admits to the top of my head as he practically strangles me in a death grip. “I tried to give you time and space, but I couldn’t…every day without you seemed like eternity. There’s so much I don’t know about you, yet deep inside, I have no doubt I know everything I need to know.”
I squeeze my arms around his middle, trying to calm any residual fears he might have. “I’m here now, and we have all the time in the world. Won’t be long ‘til you’ll be bored with me.”
“Never,” he declares and kisses the top of my head.
***
“What about your parents? You never told me about yours,” I ask as we approach the black building with too many windows. The moment the
words leave my lips, his face darkens and I regret asking. He stops walking, and his eyes move over my head and go completely unfocused.
“My mom, she died in a car accident when I was young. I don’t really remember her. And my dad, well, he’s just my dad. Works too much and drinks just as much. I see him every once in a while.”
“I’m so sorry, Niko.” I thread my fingers through his and pull his hand to my lips. “I didn’t know.”
“I actually think it’s better I don’t remember her, dulls the pain a little.” He smiles, but it doesn’t touch his eyes.
“But don’t you wonder?” I ask, and then want to kick myself for dragging this conversation on.
“Yeah, a little, but not knowing how good I could have had it isn’t near as bad as having the single thing that makes you happy then having it ripped away.” This time he pulls our joined hands to his mouth and kisses my hand.
Epilogue
One year later…
“Brook, are you ready yet? We’re gonna be late!” he calls down the hall as I sit with my hair still in curlers and apply mascara.
I don’t answer him, hoping he’ll go back downstairs and keep waiting for me on the couch. Then I hear his footsteps angrily pounding on the marble floor, and I know that’s not going to happen a second time.
“You’re not even close to being ready!” Through his reflection in the mirror I can see the vein that appears on his forehead when he’s annoyed with me. It appears and his face turns a lovely shade of cranberry red. I love that vein; it means he still loves me enough to easily get annoyed with me. And I like annoying him; it means his feelings are still strong. If I stopped being able to annoy him then I’d be afraid; that would mean the spark of our love had faded.
“I’m a lot closer to being ready than you think I am. I promise,” I lie, and swiftly take the curler out of my hair.
He leans against the doorframe and folds his arms across his chest.
“Is that so? You think I haven’t watched you get ready enough times to know the difference?”