"I volunteered.” Gellico yelled over Sol's tirade. “Sol ... I volunteered,” she repeated softly in the sudden quiet.
Silence ruled. Gabriel's hand slid off Sol's stiffened shoulder. He seemed to know that she didn't want his touch, but he didn't say a word. She couldn't look him in the eyes. Instead her blurred gaze sought Gelli's. Sol suddenly realized the anguish her words had inflicted. Gellico's face reflected a muddy visage, ravished by a bleakness Sol hadn't witnessed since Hydra. The dancer swayed in a widely braced stance. Her graceful neck bowed with the weight of a head too heavy to hold up. Her hands fisted at her rigid sides. Sol swallowed a bitter taste. How could she have been so thoughtless, so caught up in convincing Gabe that she forgot the pain she could cause by exposing a secret not spoken? She would never forget Hydra and what Gellico had suffered.
But gods, Gelli was the one who'd lived the nightmare. “I'm sorry, Gelli. Good gods, forgive me. I am so sorry. Please. I wasn't thinking."
Gellico gave a slight nod to her apology, and Sol's throat tightened further.
Without saying a word, Asher stepped to Gellico's side. He wasn't touching her, but the major hovered, a silent presence next to the tall dancer. Clearly the Marine was attuned to Gellico's distress. His narrowed gaze warned Sol off while he drew Gelli gently out the door. The pair stumbled through the opening, Gellico's graceful strides unusually awkward. Asher shut the door softly behind them.
Silence lingered for only a moment before Gabe snorted. “Well, Soledad, it's apparent that you aren't thinking clearly. How could you think I wouldn't know her pain or yours?” His words were snapped, but he drew Sol to him, cradled her in his arms. “And you know better than to hurt Gellico.” He sighed. “You're worried about her—about me, too, I guess. I understand that, but, you must know that I need all the help I can get. Gellico knows the region better than Asher. She's offered to act as our guide, and I need an edge. All the edge I can get."
Sol shook her head, rubbed her forehead on his shoulder and swallowed hard. Reasoning didn't come easy. Her throat hurt to speak. “And you're only too happy to jump at her offer, aren't you?” She tried to pull out of his grip. She didn't know who she was angrier with; herself or Gabriel Merriweather, the empathic diplomat.
"Sol, please,” Gabe pulled her closer, his words smothered into her hair. She felt his lips press a kiss against her hair; his breath blew warmth on her head. “We only have a few minutes. Don't fight me for once. We just came to say goodbye.” He touched her forehead and brushed her hair with the tips of his fingers. His soft touch moved down her neck, flicking over her skin and stabbing her in the heart.
"Goodbye?” The stiffness drained out of Sol. Her fluttering heart beat so much it hurt her chest. She couldn't draw a breath. They had decided this without her. They were leaving to do this awful thing. There was nothing she could say or do. The finality left her hollow.
"I'm sorry, Sol. I wish there was another way, but..."
"It's not your fault.” Sol finally pulled away from him, gently this time. She wrapped her arms across her chest to stop the shivers that threatened to tear her apart. “Gellico was bound to go back there someday. Maybe she needs to put an end to that part of her life."
"What happened to the others? There were five women who made it out.” Gabe followed her and pulled her back into his embrace. He was such a persistent soul. Sol rested against his solid chest, breathed in his familiar warm scent. She could see a small, dark mole just under his jaw line, hidden, teasing, out of sight most of the time. Such an endearing mark, special, there just for her. Gods, how she needed this—his touch, his smell, his strength. Damn it, how had he gotten under her skin so thoroughly?
Sol forced her thick throat to form words to answer his question about the battered women she would never forget. “One woman completely disappeared after her release. One committed suicide, and the other two are still in mental hospitals. Gellico pays for their treatments. The meds say one of them may make it back outside—someday. The other—who knows? Sol snuggled against him and tried to curl even closer into his wonderful heat. She felt so cold. Gabe was leaving. Her heart was breaking. How like a foolish woman she felt, not at all like a star ship captain. He hugged her tightly.
"I really am sorry, Sol.” His words vibrated in his throat, tickling her ear.
"Shhh.” She put her fingers over his lips then pulled him to her mouth. Hungry, she was so hungry for his warmth. Maybe his kiss would melt the coldness that enveloped her. “Give me a proper goodbye, Commander."
"Are you sure, Captain?” He lifted his head, his pale gaze gone uncertain. He stroked her hair back from her cheek with such tenderness that Sol swallowed a sob.
She tugged Gabe's hand and led him toward Gellico's bedroom. “I'm sure."
They began before they reached the silk-draped bed. Gabe ravished her with his hot mouth, leaving her shaking with raging hunger to get ever nearer, to crawl inside his body. His clever hands roved over her sensitive skin, exploring openings in clothing and ripping ones that failed to cooperate. Finally bare, skin to skin, they lay so close they breathed each others breath. In one instant, their eyes met. Their storm of passion quieted. Both knew this might be their last meeting. The sexual fire banked but didn't die. It only waited for more fuel.
"I don't want to ever leave you, Sol,” Gabe murmured against her neck and hid his face against her flesh. His breath tickled her skin, raised goose bumps.
Sol nodded and hugged him tighter. Tears threatened. “I know. I don't want you to go either, but...” She leaned back with a sigh. “You will go, you damned diplomat.” She punched him in the chest harder than she meant. “Just make damned sure you come back."
Gabe raised his head after flinching at her punch, a hint of humor in his shadowed gaze. “If you care so much, Captain, stop hitting me.” The teasing fled, and his hand smoothed over the round rise of her body. His gaze grew serious. “I want this—our child, too, Soledad. I love the fact that we are joined into this innocent. I want you both in my life—for the rest of my days. Please, don't run from me anymore. You can't deny that you love me as much as I love you.” He stared at her so intently it was as if he could see clear into her soul.
Sol couldn't speak past the thickness in her throat. A mist clouded her vision. She raised her hand to cover his, guiding their palms over her mounded pregnancy. Appropriately, at that moment, their child kicked under their joined hands. Startled wonder washed over Gabe's face. His eyes grew brilliant, and he claimed her mouth in a long, tender kiss that sealed her fate. And Sol accepted what she had fought so hard to deny. She accepted but couldn't say the words. The truth stared her in the face.
Yes, the captain would join with the commander if and when he asked. Sol wouldn't speak of love now, she couldn't. She pulled him closer, wrapped both arms around Gabe's neck, her bulk stopping them from touching as closely as she wanted. He chuckled when the baby kicked against him. She lifted her brows, “Any idea of how we'll be able to do this, Commander?"
"Yeah, I've read up on pregnant women.” A rosy flush crept over Gabe's face, neck and ears. It was so deep in color that Sol thought she felt the burning heat of it.
"You did?” Sol gazed at him, trying to fit herself closer into the curve of him. “Oh, you would.” She laughed, loving the way his color deepened even further. How very like a scholar he was, to read up on pregnancy. Merriweather had to study every thing. “And how many pregnant women do you know?"
A shadow flickered over his face then he smiled a little sadly. “Just one that counts.” Gabriel pulled on her arm. “Turn over.” He positioned Sol on her left side, her back to his front. “Now, just relax.” His hand roved over her hip and nestled near her waist. She relished the feel of his hard palm.
"This won't hurt the baby?” she breathed in an unsteady breath.
"No. I promise. And if you don't like it, we'll stop. Okay? Now bend your leg.” He helped bend her knee to a right angle from her waist. His hand gli
ded up and down her thighs, her stomach, rounding to her breasts while he kissed the back of her neck. Sol closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensation of just feeling Gabe and his marvelous touch.
All those times they'd made love, Gabe had been giving to her, always. He gave again. With gentle lips, he trailed heated kisses down her neck, across her shoulders, lingering to pay special attention to the ridge of her backbone. After nipping little bites, he licked a circle around the joint of her neck, down the center of her back. At her front, his hands were also busy driving her crazy. His clever fingers delighted in plucking at her sensitive nipples until she wanted to scream. And he didn't wait or hesitate when he reached her spine's joint at the end of her back. He dipped his tongue into her butt's crevice. Sol arched, nearly coming off the bed at the erotic touch. Shivers shot through her, followed by a slow rush of pulsing heat.
"Easy, sweetness.” Gabe pulled her back into position. “Trust me, I won't hurt you.” He kissed the bend in her waist that was still a gentle curve despite her girth. His hair brushed her skin with a silken touch. Sol couldn't relax. Tremors shook her. This might be the last time she would ever love him this way. She didn't want to admit it, but this great love made her vulnerable, not at all like the strong captain she wanted to be.
But she couldn't lie about her feelings. “I want you, Gabriel.” And she spoke the truth. Never had she wanted anything so much. She nearly ached with the need. Denying further delay, she searched behind until she held the throbbing length of him in her palm. He curved closer around her.
"I know you want me, Sol.” Gabe breathed hot puffs of air on her back, resting his forehead against her waist. “I want you, too. And gods, how glad I am that you want me in return.” He moved back up against her, her long back to his chest, her butt to his front. His thick erection poked against her. Sol remembered the tight fit of him inside her; the long length that touched her inner walls. She couldn't stop her moan.
"I'll give you what you want soon, honey. I just want to make sure you're ready.” Gabe reached his arms around her. Such powerful strength given so carefully. His presence covered Sol like a blanket, a warm, sheltering sanctuary. It wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him as wild with need as she. Sol grabbed Gabe's hand and pushed it between her legs. His fingers slipped on her wet lips. “I am ready for you, moron.” She felt frustrated tears and thrust harder against his hand. “Feel."
Finally, he pushed one blessedly thick finger into Sol then shoved another into her slick heat. He rubbed against the hard kernel of her pleasure. Yeah, she was ready. Both of them moaned when his fingers sunk deeper, slid in and out. Both heard the slickness of her desire.
"Give it to me.” Sol arched into his hand and reached behind her to grasp him again. She pulled up and down on his length in rhythm to his fingers sliding in and out of her.
"Jesu,” he breathed.
"Give this to me. Now, Gabriel.” Sol panted.
"Aye, my captain, anything you want."
With that, Gabe eased his way between her legs from behind, slipping inside her slowly, an inch at a time. Such exquisite torture. Sol was startled by the wonderful thickness of him. Gabe felt so different entering from behind her. She hesitated only a moment before she found his rhythm, moving back against him and then away. He placed one hand over her mound while the other held her hip and guided them both carefully in a dance as old as time. Faster and faster they moved. All the while Gabe's wonderful heat warmed her back, and his hands guided her front, careful of their child. He kissed the nape of her neck then bit the skin. She moaned. He breathed in her ear, whispered naughty things that a diplomat had no right to speak, and then he nipped her shoulder—hard. Sol cried out, but with pleasure not pain. She surged back against him. Suddenly, Gabe cursed a foreign oath under his breath, and she felt his hot spurt the same instant her muscles clenched and released. She held herself against his solid length, and he pumped the last of his seed into her. In an unexpected finish, he rolled the hard nub of her sex then pinched. She cried aloud. Her trembling release went on and on.
For a time, only the sound of their slowing breaths broke the silence of the room.
"I'm sorry that was so quick, Sol, but I've got to go,” Gabe murmured. He rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms loose around her waist.
"I know.” Sol turned to face him, flushed at what she wanted to say. His penis lay wet and spent on her thigh. “Gabe, I ... I...” She still couldn't get the words out. She hugged him instead.
"That's okay, my captain.” He patted her back gently. “Tell me when I get back.” He kissed her lightly on the mouth and quickly slipped into his gray diplomatic uniform. Sol felt just as somber. He didn't bother to wash her from his body, and Sol didn't ask why. She couldn't speak. Her voice refused to budge from where it had lodged in the rock at the base of her throat. Her muscles refused to move, and she couldn't get up. She could only watch him.
"Be here when I get back.” He waited at the door, his dark hair mussed and his expressive brow lifted. His pale eyes pleaded with her.
Sol could only nod. Her heartbeat was a heavy, dead thing in her chest.
Gellico's voice boomed from the outer room before Gabe closed the door. “You better not have stained my sheets, Commander."
Both were gone by the time Sol roused and dressed.
And the waiting began.
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Chapter Fourteen
The first week dragged by. The next went even slower, but Sol knew that it would be several turns before the Treaty even reached the Straits region beyond Brittany's Skirt, the remotest populated area near Hydra and closest to the Rim. She would not be hearing from Gabriel any time soon, but that didn't stop her worrying. The recorded message from the Treaty the first day out still haunted her, although she had almost given up playing the recording since she could quote it word for word. Almost but not quite. Sol watched it now to see Gabriel's impressive image, an image that swept her with heart-rending longings. His rich voice was like a balm to her soul.
He stood tall and large in his gray and black, and he had never looked more foreign. His dark hair was groomed severely flat to his skull and tied with a narrow leather strip at the base of his neck. The sleek style actuated his slanted eyes and high cheekbones. Pale eyes assessed the world with cool regard. The smooth cloth of his uniform hugged his broad shoulders and slim waist while colorful ribbons and medals decorated his wide chest. Even Gabe's demeanor reflected a seriousness that she had never witnessed.
"By the time you see this, Sol, we will be out of transmission range. Coward that I am, I wanted it that way. You see, Captain, I have to ask you an important question.” He paused to drink from a tumbler that Sol was sure contained some form of alcohol. After a quick gulp, his breath hissed on the intake, and he gave a slight shudder before continuing. His watery gaze shimmered. Sol couldn't remember ever seeing Merriweather so unsettled, his voice even rasped strangely.
"I know we met under odd circumstances. For the first time in my life, I was at the Domes seeking something that showed me life was worth living when you came through the door. You were like a breath of fresh air, and I knew I had found affirmation. Yeah, I knew, too, after those first few moments with you, that you thought I was someone else, an anonymous sex toy. But, Sol, I felt that you needed the same reaffirmation of life that I needed. Your eyes looked so very sad. You hurt deep inside. I felt it.” Gabe shrugged his shoulders and dipped his head, looking up through his thick lashes. She wondered fleetingly if he mocked her practiced coy look, but his was unrehearsed.
His stubborn chin lifted. “When we first met, I was obligated to inform you that I was a master empath duly registered with the Guild. I apologize for not doing so. I just thought you knew when you saw the tats.” He touched his arm that carried the strange tattoos that Sol remembered seeing that night at the Pleasure Dome. One corner of his mouth lifted. “And, Sol—you've got to admit that we were a little too busy
for small talk."
His eyes twinkled, but not a drop of amusement leaked into his voice. “I want you to know that I've never used my talents to spy on you. I value your friendship beyond all others, so your deep, dark secrets are safe with me. Besides my respect for you, Sol, you're what is know as a tranq. I've learned of your Chakkra blood; it gives you a special defense mechanism that protects you from rats like me.” He gave a twisted grin. “By accident, I read only your strongest emotions—things that are too large to keep inside and hidden. These are things meant to be shared with someone."
Sol could no longer see the pain in his eyes, but she knew it was there. She heard it in his voice. “Even burdens and guilt become lighter when shared with someone who cares. Try it sometime. You'll see that I'm right. You've helped me by just being yourself, Captain. With you, I don't have to be a diplomat. And when I am in your presence, you give me rest. I feel peacefulness, a quiet I've never found with anyone. You grant me shelter, serenity from the thousands of emotions that bombard me from all sides. Not only have I felt your love—” Gabe stopped for a moment, his lip quirked up again at the corner and those crooked bottom teeth showed their tops. Sol's heart thudded at the endearing sight. “—yes, love, which you have been unable to speak of to me, but I know it's there as surely as I'm breathing. I was drawn to your need for love when I met you. The depth of your loneliness called to me. Oh, I know you are a strong woman—ah, pardon me—captain. But, Sol, I did feel your sorrow that night. I thought if I could just give you pleasure, the sadness in you would go away. I didn't know you wanted a child, and at first, I was angry when I found out. You see, I've never wanted offspring. I have a past...” He hesitated then hurried on, “And I guess you deserve to know it."
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