He took a deep breath and said, “I'm sure you've heard the rumors that I'm a half-breed Chakkra. They are true. I was born in pain but also in a great love. My father was a Chakkra of royal blood who had the misfortune to fall for a Terran ambassador sent to seal a treaty with my father's world.” Gabriel gave a hollow laugh. “As if peace was ever possible with those savages. They killed my father for his offense, then as soon as I was born, they murdered my mother.” He looked straight in the com's lens, and Sol saw the hard glitter in his eyes. “Captain, I assure you, I'm not like the Chakkra. I've denied any connection to them my whole life.” He paused for another deep breath, and it was as if he swept his past back into the shadows of his mind, because even his tense shoulders relaxed.
"Anyway, that's the main reason I've never wanted offspring. The worlds we live in are harsh, cruel, dangerous places that no child should ever see.” He ran a hand through his hair, dislodging the slick order. Those unruly dark curls were how Sol remembered Gabe when he left this last time—his silken hair mussed from her fingertips. She could still feel the softness of it under her touch. Her heart felt squeezed. Her lungs labored for breath.
"I'm trying to fix those worlds, Sol, and, after all these years, I suddenly realize that a child with you is the second most important thing in my life. You and your happiness are the most important. For me, now, the Guild with its orders comes last. I'll do my best to make you happy. I'll protect you and our child until my dying breath.” He looked straight into the vid lenses. “I love you, Sol. Will you link with me as life companion when I come home? At least, think about it."
He bent, as if to shut off the transmission then stopped. The thin skin around his eyes and mouth crinkled. Sol could swear she felt his wry humor, taste his kiss. “Oh, I almost forgot. In Gellico's woven crap that she calls a desk, I left some things for you to consider in the top drawer. One is a ring bearing my family's crest—my mother's crest. Wear it if you accept my proposal.” He inclined his head, his smile a faint curving of his mouth. Sol touched her fingers to her lips, remembering the touch of that mouth against hers.
His voice continued on, making her heart ache with loss. “I would like to see the ring on your finger when I come home. That way, I don't have to ask you for your answer."
Sol couldn't help smiling. Gabe was never a coward. But he certainly grinned like the cat that ate the canary. When he continued, feathers nearly dripped from his lips. “The other thing in Gellico's desk is a Corps enlistment with your rank as first commander, along with an induction commission for the Diplomatic Corps—if and when you want it. In other words, Captain—ah, Commander, I want you to lead my Marines. I despair of letting you out of my sight.” He shook his head and smiled sadly. “What I really mean is that I need you, Sol. And I love you. For always—even if you don't want a commitment. But think about it.” His pale eyes glowed with his promise. The screen went blank.
Sol realized that she ached for his touch—felt as empty as he must have after her vids to him. What a shit she had been for sending them. But then, those vids had brought them together. Gabe never would have continued looking for her without them.
In a wondering daze, Sol searched Gelli's desk drawer. She found the things just as he had said. The heavy gold ring was engraved with a fierce, wide-winged, black eagle holding shafts of wheat in his sharp beak, proclaiming peace, no doubt. Sol thought for a moment that she had seen that emblem somewhere before, but couldn't remember where. Perhaps Gabe came from a long line of peacemakers on his mother's side. Sol realized she knew little of his background, his family—the royal Chakkra link. He had never spoken of it before. How did he become a Guild empath? Were Chakkra born with empathic talents? Well, it didn't matter. Sol didn't care. She knew Merriweather—and she wanted him no matter what his bloodlines were.
For days that slowly faded into weeks after the transmission, Sol considered Gabriel's proposal, both about being life companions and about the commission. Did she really want to love someone so much that she gave them power over her with a connubial contract? Did loving Merriweather mean giving up her independence? And, what about a return to service? Would that work with Gabe as her superior? Thoughts swirled and contradicted in her head.
Peaceful missions would take some adjustment. Life on a diplomatic ship would certainly be different from what she was used to onboard a warship. And with a child. What would that be like? Sol wasn't sure she could handle those adjustments. But she'd never leave her son behind. This child had become the most important thing in her life next to Gabe. She would give her life for either of them.
The thought startled her. Warmth spread throughout her body and soul. She was definitely in love. She never wanted to be parted from Gabe again, and adrenaline pumped anew at the thought of being back in the thick of things. Surely, the two of them could protect their child. She had no doubt that Gabe would be savage in his protectiveness. From him, Sol had learned that a life as a diplomat, especially an empathic one, was not free from danger even on a peaceful ship. He needed her. In fact, his career was perhaps even more threatening than hers had ever been.
At least aboard a war ship, Sol could see danger coming at her. For Gabriel it hid behind intrigue and lies that were only hinted at with their hidden meanings. Well, she would let Gabe think he was in charge since he was the diplomatic commander, and she would be military commander in charge of the troops, but may the gods help anyone who threatened what was hers. And Gabriel Merriweather belonged to her. That statement brought release to the tight band that wound around Sol's chest. It was as if her soul sang with the knowledge.
Without further hesitation, Sol slipped Gabriel's wide ring over her thumb. It clung around her joint with a cold, heavy ache. She missed him so much. With sudden insight, Sol realized that she wasn't giving up anything to love him. Truly, Gabriel completed her, fulfilled her life. Soledad Scott didn't need to command a ship to be of worth. Love completed her. Love of herself, her friends, her family and most of all, Gabriel Merriweather and their child gave her an identity, a reason for living. Soledad Scott was a person of value, and she realized that this insight was all due to the damned commander of the Diplomatic Corps. She would thank him when he returned. And, by the gods, Gabriel had better return safe if he knew what was good for him. And he'd better return soon. She grew tired from waiting.
The papers that Merriweather had left regarding a commission, Sol finally signed at the bottom with a quick flourish. Afterwards, she felt radiant with the realization that she loved Gabe, really loved him, heart and soul. But missing him was wearing on her. Her spirits felt so low that she called her sister on her com link even though she knew it cost more credits then a visit. But when you're as big as a galactic warship, you don't mind the expense. Still bubbling over her discovery of being in love with Gabriel, Sol shared the news with Te'. She was shocked at her sister's angry response.
"Bloody hell, Sol, everyone in the Guild knows Merriweather's a master empath,” Te snarled. She ran a hand over her messy braid. Her thick hair that glittered more golden brown than red had escaped the careful weaving that Te’ always wore when she worked around the house. She appeared tired and distracted, and Sol wondered what she had interrupted. Then what Te’ had said finally registered in Sol's brain. What did Te’ mean—in the Guild? Sol wasn't prepared for her sister's next words. “Merriweather will never rise higher in rank since he carries so much Chakkra blood. As a bastard half-breed, he'll always rank as second class in the Guild."
A long silence followed. It seemed to stretch on forever before Sol got over her shocked confusion. “What?” The word exploded from her numb lips. “How do you know so much about the Guild?"
A light suddenly turned on in Sol. “You're in the Guild, aren't you, Te'? You're in the bloody Guild!"
Sol's head whirled with conflicting thoughts. A deep weight settled in Sol's stomach, sickened her. She stomped back and forth across Gelli's beautiful wood floors. She wasn't worried about Ga
be's damned bloodlines or even her own. She had listed them only for the genetics lab that did the evaluations on her birthing request. Te'angel was in the fucking Guild. Sol thought for a moment that she was still in bed dreaming another awful nightmare.
Te’ gave a tight laugh. “Don't tell me that you haven't guessed after all these years, Sol. By the gods, where is your head?” Te’ shook her own head as if in disbelief and hurried on, passing over Sol's anguish. Sol had the feeling that her sister had revealed more in those first few sentences than she had ever meant to.
Te’ drew in a deep breath as red bloomed on her wide cheekbones. Her words ran together without another breath between them. “I've been the Guild's registered master empath for the past ten years, Sol. Do you really think they only want my offspring for simple ship pilots?"
Sol's knees buckled. Te’ was an empath? In the Guild? She collapsed into one of Gellico's soft chair, even though she knew it would be hell rising back up from the comforting soft depths. Her mind swirled with thoughts of things she had never considered. Te's countless trips to Nabet, Delta Three's capital city, where most of the Guild's business was conducted—her unbelievable success with her children's problems—the many hints of things the kids would say that had sailed over Sol's head with just a thread of puzzlement. Sol had always been so wrapped up in the war effort and battle strikes, she had never delved too deeply into her sister's affairs. She had always used Te's noisy home as a refuge, a place where nothing and no one outside of family intruded. Damn, she should have noticed the way Te’ had always, always, understood Sol's problems with the Guild—to say nothing of the wealth Te’ had accumulated over the years which, now that she thought about it, was more than an Academy breeder grossed in a lifetime.
Te's soft words broke through Sol's musings. Her sister still appeared as a stranger—familiar but somehow wrong. “I really am sorry, honey. I know I should have told you long ago.” Te's image in Sol's small com link stared at her with genuinely sad eyes. “I'm sorry for not telling you of the Guild and my part in it. Blame me for being selfish of your affection, Sis. I just relished the comfort you always brought when you visited. I never wanted to disrupt the peace I enjoyed in your company. I know how you feel about the Guild's meddling."
"You found my visits peaceful?” Sol blinked at the thought of the many times she had yelled and dumped her problems at her sister's doorstep. How much had Te’ known about her problems with the Guild and never revealed? Te frowned before she spoke. “You didn't even know you're a tranq, did you?"
"Not until Gabriel told me.” Sol tried to follow Te's thoughts, remembering what Merriweather had said in his message. She tried to make sense out of the bits and pieces, but admittedly without success. Te's Guild involvement still bothered Sol more than her thoughts of being a tranq.
"You were in your teens before I knew. That, as well as empathy talent, runs in our family. Chakkra and Terran mixed blood breeds all sorts of talents.” Te’ grinned a little shakily. Then her lips twisted ruefully. “You being a tranq is only one of many reasons that I've always loved to see you."
She again brushed the loose tendrils of her hair back from her forehead in what Sol was beginning to think was a nervous habit. For the first time, Sol noted Te's deep weariness, the stress lines around her mouth, a mouth that gave a tight lifting of the corners, “When you came to visit, even for just a few days, I had some quiet time, some peace. No matter how many buffers I have installed, this place is still swamped with all the kids’ rioting emotions. And gods, their hormones when they matured and came into their own talents—wheeeh! Even your problems, Sol, were an enjoyment over the outside emotions that get past my home's filters."
Sol again noted the worry lines around her sister's eyes, the way her eyes narrowed. How much political crap did her sister deal with? Sol's thoughts jumped back to the Guild, and her emotions whirled. Her sister and the dammed Guild. For how many years?
Te’ interrupted her thoughts before Sol reached the boiling point. “What were you thinking of when you seduced Merriweather?” She scowled. “The Gabriel Merriweather, head of the Diplomatic Corps, a Chakkra half-breed, for the stars’ sake! You can't really want a life partnership with him. You can't be serious.” Te shook her head like a mother speaking to a lack-witted child. “Don't you know he's a one-sided visionary? Always questioning instead of doing as he's told. I should have fired him years ago for being so weak an enforcer. A gods-damned diplomat.” Te's eyes narrowed and another blush painted her cheeks. “Good gods, tell me he isn't the father of your child."
"How could you have fired him, Te'?” Sol didn't miss the way Te’ stiffened after her slip of the tongue. She, too, could read her sibling well. She wasn't diverted that easily.
Te took a deep breath before using her soft mother voice on Sol. “Honey, to tell you the whole truth, I'm—well, in addition to the Guild's master empath, I'm also the acting governor of the Guild. At least, I am temporary governor until the next election."
Sol absorbed the information with a blank stare, and Te’ hastily continued, “You see, darling, we are supposed to operate in obscurity. Even our families aren't supposed to know who heads the committee. Our present governor is ill, has been for a long time, and I've been in charge until the election.” Te’ drew her shoulders erect and lifted her chin. “But I will be in the running for permanent governor this time.” Te’ sighed. “Do you understand, darling?"
Te's words echoed like a thunder clap in Sol's ears, and she felt as if she wanted to vomit. “You're what?"
Te’ ignored Sol's question. “I know I should have told you years ago about my—my talent and my career, but you, in your capacity as captain of a Guild ship, had no need to know. It's against the rules. And, face it. You were so busy with your own life that I didn't want to involve you in all my dirty laundry."
"Dirty laundry? That's what you call being on the board that wrecked my life?” Sol felt as if she was splintering into pieces.
Te’ snorted and her placating tone irritated Sol when she said, “The Guild didn't wreck your life, Soledad. You're still living comfortably, aren't you?"
Sol was so angry she choked. After the loss of her ship, Te’ had even been the one to suggest she find a new career as a mother! Talk about diversion. How could she choose the Guild over Sol?
Te’ took advantage of Sol's shocked pause to continue. “Of course, this thing with Merriweather—of all the stupid ideas you've ever had, Sis."
Sol took umbrage at the rest of her sister's words, and she disconnected her com link. She sat there, stunned, breathing heavily and her heart rate rocketing while she ignored the continual beeping of her link. She thought seriously about never answering the damned thing again.
Finally, Sol drew a shaky breath and blew her nose. Her ragged throat ached and her raw first words as she punched the link were, “I can't believe you never told me about you being on the Guild's council. A Guild master empath, for heaven's sakes. You're on the board making all the decisions about where we went, who we fought—and all this time, I thought you were a career mother."
"And I can't believe you got involved with Gabriel Merriweather,” Te’ fired back. “Of all the fucking male idiots in the world, why him?” Te’ was breathing just as hard as Sol. But Sol didn't want to defend Gabe or her involvement with him.
She also didn't want to fight with her sister anymore. Sol tilted her chin at her com. “You've said hateful things, Te'. You've never talked to me like that before."
Her sister again ran a trembling hand over her forehead, smoothing her escaping curls back into her severe braided style. “Yeah, and I apologize. I'm under a bit of a strain right now,” Te’ paused and looked through the screen at Sol with an anguished depth to her gaze. She blew out a breath. “I know you think that I'm the one ordering all the Guild ships around, but I'm not. I'm just one voting committee member.” Her voice lowered, “Recently, someone has been working behind the scenes, trying to sabotage and
discredit me. I'm afraid I've gotten myself into something—something bad. It may cost me a dear friend—and perhaps you one or two friends yourself, Sol."
Te’ looked up, her gaze so tormented that all of Sol's anger drained away. Even Te's normally strong voice shook as she said, “I wish you were here, Sol, with your calming influence. You caught me by surprise just now. This Hydra thing has popped up again, with all sorts of repercussions.” Te’ shook her head and gave a thin smile. “I can't believe this. I thought you had opted for procreation the way I do—without the entanglement of a male. I should have known that you, with your soft heart, would go the old fashioned route. Still, why him? Shit, Sis.” Te’ shook her head incredulously and muttered, “Why Gabriel Merriweather?"
She stared at Sol so intently that Sol couldn't help cringing under her gaze although she had done nothing wrong. Sol wanted Te's approval. She had always been more of a mother than a sister to Sol. Still, Te’ didn't have the right to judge Sol after all the secrets she had hidden all these years.
Sol straightened her spine and realized that her newly discovered love of self gave her courage she hadn't known she had. “I honestly don't know why him, Te'. At least I didn't when all this started out. Now, all I know is that I—I care about Gabriel Merriweather enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him, even if he did indirectly cost me my commission. That should tell you something."
"Yeah, well, about that.” Te looked at the ceiling and pursed her lips before blowing out a breath and saying, “Merriweather didn't cost you your commission any more than I did, Sol. Circumstances dictate early retirement for captains, that's it. Merriweather issued his findings years ago, before your career, and I have upheld that ruling for the consequent years."
Sol choked and sputtered again. “You did that, too? How many more things in my life have you twisted?"
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