Tales from the Multiverse

by Pam Uphoff

  "Is that my luggage tote?"

  "I thought it might work for hauling laundry around." The boy jerked at it. "It ate my bicycle. I sort of remember bringing my bike up here. I was going to oil it, and it was too hot to work in the garage."

  Fatty poked at the tangled mess. "I think we'll just toss it and start over." Three worlds. Three possibilities. Or more.

  "This is weird, dad."

  "Yes. Very weird." He blinked away tears.

  ***

  "As everyone on the East Coast has noticed, something very strange has happened. Other parts of the US have probably noticed a few oddities, mostly coming from the East Coast. But for most parts of the World, apart from some confusion over American politics, nothing has changed." Preston Meyers looked out over the Congress, glanced up at the media stuffing the balcony. "The Universe is made up of many parallel worlds. Worlds where some significant difference has changed the course of history. Over the last nine days, three of these Worlds have merged together. For most people, there have been few changes. For others, the changes have been profound.

  "The cause of these three worlds splitting apart in the first place was the Rain of Fire. A meteor shower that killed thousands, or hundreds, or a dozen, or a few, or no-one at all as it fell off shore. The cause of these worlds reuniting was an accidental effect of an attempt of a man from one world to usurp the office of the Presidency by crossing to another world where he had been elected President, and substituting himself for himself.

  "Most of us have merged with ourselves, from the other two worlds. But those of us who were killed in one world or another, have had a more difficult time with this merge. People who couldn't go to where their other selves were had problems. Some of us have merged with strangers. With animals. With inanimate matter. The merge has killed some of us. Children less than three years old often didn't have other selves, and are among the worst affected.

  "Now. In one of the merging Worlds, I am a US Senator. In one I am a former US Senator. In one I was President of the United States, until the former Senator crossed into this dimension and killed me. I am an amalgam of that killer, as well as the heartbroken Senator whose beloved wife and daughter died in the Rain of Fire. I make no claim to the Office of the Presidency, as the man who was elected, was murdered. By another part of myself. I resign my position as Senator, in favor of the man who was elected in two of those Worlds.

  "If your memories are as mixed up as most of ours, you realize that both Kelsey Hanover and Frank Mancuro were also elected and sworn in as President of the United States, two years ago. They have agreed to Kelsey Hanover finishing this term as President, and Frank Mancuro taking the Vice Presidential spot. At this time, I will turn the podium over to the President. Thank you."

  He stepped down and made his way to the seats behind and to the side of the podium. The Director looked at him worriedly. He shrugged. "Angelica and Frannie are all right, nothing else matters."

  The Director nodded. He'd been killed in the worst of the Rains. "I still feel a bit shaky and sick. Like thousands of people."

  "Marsden taking his demotion all right?"

  "Oh yes. Like you, he's got his family back. He doesn't give a damn about the job."

  Up on the podium, Kelsey was talking about the special elections. Next on the agenda, the government picking up the tab for medical care for those serious affected by the merge. Special courts to untangle family disasters involving stranger merges of children, married, divorced or widowed couples, and other messy but fortunately rare problems. However strange, they had survived.

  "Didn't we have some of the gang in jail?"

  "Yes. And since they didn't have equivalents, and the other people in the same cells in the other 'Branes couldn't move and find themselves, they've merged with two other men each. I haven't a clue what to do with them. But since none of them could open Gates or Corridors, the Courts can deal with it."

  "Huh. Are all the prisons like that . . . no wait, I ordered a hell of a lot of releases, didn't I?"

  "And water and minerals in large quantities."

  On the other side of the Director, Frank Mancuro poked him. "You're supposed to report to Kelsey, now."

  "Damn. This is such a bloody mess."

  "Yeah. Makes me glad I lost the toss. Kelsey's got his work cut out." He turned to listen to the President.

  ". . . special family courts to determine how to share time among the various sets of parents. I know it will be difficult, but we need to do what is best for the children. Now, people who merged with animals are possessed of the same civil rights as any pure human. If in doubt, err on the side of 'Yes, this mix has civil rights.' The Census Bureau will be conducting studies and gathering statistics.

  ***

  Fatty whistled his way happily up the front sidewalk. He could hear hard rock from Drew's room upstairs, and stopped to kiss Louise on his way to dump briefcase and coat.

  "We've got the Emergency Election all hammered out. Primaries will be on August fifth, general election on November fourth. That will fill the position of President for, by that time, the last year and two months remaining in Meyer's term. Or Hanover, or Mancuro's term. Silly, but too many people are questioning Hanover’s legitimacy."

  She smiled wryly. "I think I'm lucky to have one less memory to cope with." Her eye flicked upwards. "And Drew has changed quite drastically, with his one third experience with paralysis."

  "And it's coming out in his music. Or maybe that's just his age."

  "Do you think you'll ever see those people again?"

  "I doubt they'll dare come back, lest they precipitate another merge. But at the rate the Universities and companies are studying the phenomenon, we may just go and find them."

  Interlude

  “. . . odd minor confusions over the next two years made us consider the possibility that more worlds had merged, but with minimal and unimportant differences. Regular recording and monitoring has failed to notice any merges for the last three years.

  “Rain of Fire re-contacted 1409px. Report forwarded from RoF FBI. Classified public.”

  “It’s getting worse.” Peter tried to keep the whimper out of his voice. “I mean . . . that can’t really happen . . . can it?”

  “No. I refuse to believe it.” Fire hesitated, then saved her file.

  “Not believe what?” Q sauntered in. “Oh that! That was freaking scary. But the complete merging was slow, little blisters all over, as people sort of moved around and suddenly ran into themselves. The Worlds must have already been drifting back together, it was weird, the number of identical babies, the same people moving and buying the same house. And then merging with themselves.

  “We got out of there as quickly as we could. Which wasn’t very. We ran around with a list of the people killed in the three Rain of Fire worlds, putting barrels of water and minerals in the dead person’s old bedroom, spells to make their families leave them alone . . . It minimized the fatalities. We took Frannie Meyers and eighteen other people who died in two of those three worlds away for a couple of weeks, then returned them once the situation stabilized.

  “Fortunately the distant Worlds weren't as affected. There’s four more that merged slowly, naturally, later. Possibly sooner than normal, due to the number of corridors the Black Island gang ran everywhere. So we've had to seriously limit travel between close Worlds."

  Peter shuddered. “But you’ve caught most of that gang, right?”

  "We've got Rior, Falchion and Epee. Tyrone, Geotakis and Endocrates, all in the bag. Only Jade is loose and powerful enough to cause us problems." Q bit her lip. "Of course the way they play with their own genetics, Heso could be a problem too. If they've merged they may not be able to do magic at all. I need to find the time to go back and see what happened, how the people who were in jail are coping."

  Fire was nodding like she recognized all those names.

  Q smiled wryly. "I just hope we can keep them from escaping, this time. My older relativ
es say it's just like old times, a bunch of evil black goats out herding sheep for Nil." She waved and walked back out.

  Peter and Fire stared at each other for a long moment.

  Peter finally cleared his throat. “That was an amazing non-sequitur. And absolutely did not imply that they turned the prisoners into goats.”

  The old guy walked in and shook his head. Inso Neartuone, from the Old One World, was another boss-type in this chaotic lack-of-hierarchy that “Disco” seemed to operate under. “No one believes until they see it, and sometimes not then. You two are gluttons for punishment. Go away and come back tomorrow.”

  Peter looked at his watch, out the window at the dark night. They’d turned on the lights and sent out for sandwiches . . . hours ago?

  “Right. Uh, see you tomorrow. Uh . . .”

  Fire glanced at Inso’s retreating back. Stepped around the table and kissed Peter. Backed away, blushing, and fled.

  “Uh . . .” Peter shut down his comp in a daze and headed for his camp.

  And got back to work early. On a report about one of the dimension traveling criminals.

  Super Star

  Chapter One

  Eldon stared at the school administrator and who-ever-the-heck-the-other-one-was in bafflement. "I'd need to get all their birth certificates, shot records and paperwork back and forth to their parents and all that. I mean, if you really want, I'd be delighted to just drop them in your lap tomorrow morning. But you won't have the paperwork for awhile.”

  “And while I know they've been taught to read and write and math and stuff, I don't know if it's at your grade level at which subjects. I don't think they've ever had American History. I just figured if I hired a couple of teachers this year, they'd be ready to slide easily into your classrooms next fall. I mean, can you handle six more ten year olds, all at once?"

  Movie star Eldon Brown had bought a huge Spanish hacienda style house on two hundred acres of mixed scrub oak, pine and grasslands. Sixteen children under the (apparent) age of ten were living there. Six fourth graders. Three thirds. One first grader, two kindergarten. Plus two three year olds and two babies, almost a year old.

  Hiring two private teachers to get them up to speed and into public schools by next year had seemed like a reasonable thing to do.

  The Administrator showed predatory teeth. "Actually with our shifting demographic, we've some open classrooms and some classes at their maximum size. Just a single additional fourth grader and we'll be required by law to add another fourth grade teacher. With your six, instead of two classes of twenty-five students, we'll have three of eighteen or nineteen."

  "All right. I can see where that would be nice, once you hire the extra teacher. But like I say, the paperwork is, in theory, in the mail. Internationally. Somewhere. If they've mailed it yet. So, do I do the paperwork before or after you get the kids?"

  "We'll need you to fill out all the paperwork, then bring in the supporting documentation as you get it." The other woman's brow wrinkled. "Did you say you aren't related to these children?"

  "Three of the sixteen. Betelgeuse is the mother of one and the half sister of one. We're a bit of a commune. Actually, I'll probably get the parents to bring in the paperwork, so you can meet them. They'll be in and out a lot, which is why we're consolidating the children. They need the stability."

  Eyebrows rose. Didn't a rich movie star look like a stable father figure? He heard stirring and stepped to the door to check. It looked like the five year olds' nap time was over. Well, Rejection and Harm were only three and a half, but close enough to hang with the gang. He backtracked to the visitors. "I need to get the kids a snack, you can wait or come talk in the kitchen."

  They followed him while he fried some cheese sandwiches, quartered them and stacked them up on a plate. He collected juice boxes in his other hand and delivered the sandwiches right as Persuasion turned on the TV and vid player.

  Dumbo. Again.

  He retreated. "I don't know how they can watch the same show over and over. I have the whole soundtrack memorized."

  "The TV is not a babysitter." The Administrator was glowering.

  "No, but the babies will be up in a few minutes, and it really helps to deal with one group at a time. As I've mentioned, we're looking for teachers. And the parents will, eventually, be getting here. Then we'll have more adults, and less TV."

  WD chose that time to sound off, loud and long. "Excuse me again." They followed to the nursery, and observed though his expert and experienced changing of diapers. Xcape and Wheeler Dealer were both over a year old, developmentally. They'd been in the no-time bubbles since the Disco raid on their mansion. They sucked down bottles of formula, and co-operated with getting dressed. He put them down and they tottered off toward the sounds of Dumbo. He scooped everything needing a wash into the hamper, put on new sheets and humped the hamper and diaper pail down to the laundry and started a load.

  "Now. What more do you need? When do you want the kids dumped on you? Shall I send you the paperwork and wait until you've found at least another fourth grade teacher before they start attending regularly?"

  The Administrator looked around. "Where are the older children?"

  "Betelgeuse's taken them to the Zoo. It's their favorite place."

  Right on cue the front door burst open and a flood of kids poured in. Technically speaking there were only nine of them. But they all focused on Eldon and combined to tell him all about the neat animals and how they wanted him to change into various ones.

  "And change us too!" Pike's fluffy pale hair was bouncing twice as much as she was, and Eldon hoped the visitors weren't picking up on too much of exactly what was being said.

  Betelgeuse swooped around the mass and focused on the visitors.

  "Hi. Are you perhaps here for the teaching jobs?"

  "No. We're from the school district. We came to ensure that the children are getting an education, preferably in the public school system."

  Eldon amplified from under the kids. "They want the kids so they can hire more teachers and fill up some empty classrooms. I explained that the paperwork and stuff is in the international mail somewhere."

  "Don't be silly Eldon. Rior would never put original documents in the mail. He'll be bringing it all himself when he comes, I think in about three weeks." Betelgeuse turned back to the administrator and introduced herself.

  "Humph. I'm assistant District Superintendent Helen MacCray, this is Gloria De La Rosa the principal of Hefner Elementary School, where your children ought to be attending."

  "Well, I've certainly no objection. Eldon, do you know where all the kids were born?"

  "Oregon and Texas, mostly. I think everyone always got back to the US for the births, so we're okay there. It'll be the vaccination records that will be a nightmare to get straight."

  The administrator frowned. "They don't have vaccinations, or you don't have the records?"

  "They're vaccinated. The records will sometimes be from foreign countries. Assuming we kept the records." Betelgeuse frowned. "You know, I know I made copies of Vamp's records, and Epee and Falchion did as well. I may be able to find them. And I've got Vamp's birth certificate, too."

  "How about a snack, you lot?" Eldon wiggled out of the pile and herded the nine off.

  "Humph. For someone who spreads himself so thin, he seems like a fairly good father figure." The Principal watched the parade disappear into the kitchen. "I don't know about the food rewards, though."

  "Good grief, Eldon's the closest thing to a loving father-substitute some of those kids have. Don't pick on him. The other fathers? Two are dead, three are off who knows where, but they'll show up eventually, and three were, well, one night stands, not members of the group."

  "Maybe I should pick on their mothers, instead."

  "Maybe you should get to know the kids and see if they have any problems before putting all that effort into it?" Betelgeuse suggested. "Now, I expect there's a good bit of paperwork to deal with?"
r />   "So to speak. We've gone electronic, and we're on the net. So you can fill the forms out on-line, and bring in the documentation when you get it. I think, with all the overseas education, perhaps we'll test for reading and math ability before we place them in specific grades." They swapped looks.

  The Principal nodded at some unspoken thought. "How about next Wednesday, we test the nine older children. Can you get the e-forms completed by then?"

  "We'll get right on it."

  "I don't believe how long these are." Betelgeuse moaned. "And repetitious. What are you doing?"

  "Making a word page with all the addresses and phone numbers on them. Cut and paste is your friend."

  "And what do we do about Roddie and Rejection having Rior for a mother, and Pike, Quarrel and Rampart having him for a father?"

  "Lie. Betelgeuse, we're multidimensional criminals. We lie, cheat and steal for the fun of it. We fear no forms. Leave the Social Security numbers blank. And the names for that matter. Just put the nicknames in. I'll have to take care of that next week. In fact . . . " He dug into the file of documents and pulled out birth certificates and social security numbers from a parallel world. "I'll check these. Depending on the amount of separation, we may be able to use them."

  Betelgeuse frowned. "Not if the person is still alive."

  "Ouch. True. Ugg, I hate Social Security. Maybe I should go do it right now . . . "

  "No. Fill out these forms first. We'll correct things as we get usable documentation."

  "And watch out for changes in the birth year we need to make. Those bubbles . . . "

  Betelgeuse nodded. "Both fast and slow. Harm's about half her calendar age, most of the rest are a couple of years ahead. Not to mention the different dates in different worlds. It's 2038 here. Oh dear. The three Houston birth certificates are for 2041."

  "Something tells me I'm going to be busy at the Social Security office."