Whiskey Dick

by Ryan Ringbloom

  “It’s a good job. I’m happy there.” He scowls, insulted by my laughter.

  “No, you don’t understand.” I touch his arm. “Me too. I work for CVS.”

  “Are you fucking with me again?” He cocks a brow.

  “I swear.” I rummage through my bag looking for one of the tags from the conference. I find one with the CVS logo on top and whip it out. “See?”

  “What are the chances? Two managers at competing stores. That’s great.”

  His lips stretch across his handsome face and his shiny white smile lures me in. I sip my drink, lost in his good looks, and it never even occurs to me to correct him that I am not a manager.

  Fries Before Flies

  Getting a menu and ordering fries was a good idea. The whiskey is starting to work its way into my system and whereas a meal seemed a bit heavy, these fries are perfect.

  The bartender points to our glasses, inquiring if we want another round, and we both nod yes. Even though we’ve both been nursing our drinks, I definitely think the whiskey is helping us to forget our stress. My shoulders are relaxed and I feel loose, yet I still have my wits about me.

  Paisley pushes a few strands of hair away from her face. She’s extremely attractive and the perfect distraction. These last two hours flew by. She grabs a fry from the plate between us and takes a bite. I can’t stop myself from zeroing in on her plump lips as she chews. Too bad this isn’t a bar at home. Who knows how the night could end?

  “So tell me, why are you afraid of flying? Bad experience?” she asks, placing an elbow on the bar and resting her chin in her hand.

  “Actually no. I just don’t like flying. It seems… unnatural. I’ve always felt that way. The few, and I do mean few, times I’ve flown, I’ve hated it.” A few is actually an exaggeration. I flew to and from my grandmother’s house in Indiana when I was eleven. That’s it. “What about you?”

  “My first time flying was sophomore year in college. We went to Cancun for Spring Break. There was a little turbulence coming home, nothing major but enough to make me know I hate flying. I agree with you that it isn’t natural.” Our new round of drinks is placed in front of us and we both take large sips, likely because of the topic of flying. “After this drink we should probably start walking to the gate and see what’s going on.” She reaches into her bag and retrieves her phone. Her face drops at whatever message lights up her screen.

  “Everything okay?” I ask. Her bottom lip is completely pulled in, her teeth digging into the plump flesh. “Is it the flight?” I gulp.

  “They cancelled it. We need to go to the front desk.” She picks up her drink and drains it. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  While she scrambles to gather her things, I summon the bartender over and hand him my credit card to close out our tab. Paisley is frantic, and for some reason I’m not. If anything I’m relieved. The flight was cancelled; for me that’s a good thing. I sign quickly, toss my bag over one shoulder, and race to catch up to Paisley’s rolling pink carry-on being dragged across the airport facedown with the wheels in the air. She probably shouldn’t have gulped that last drink.

  Long lines jam-packed with people, most likely from our cancelled flight, are already waiting to find out what’s next. As we pivot our way through the roped area loud angry voices boom with complaints.

  I need to get home tonight!

  This is ridiculous. Let me speak to your manager.

  I will never fly with this airline again!

  No, I will not take a connecting flight!

  A teenager a few people ahead of us vents her frustrations through some live media outlet. She swings her camera around, capturing the reactions of the people around her. I lift my hand up to cover my face. Another problem with airports: they are entirely too public for me. Everything is news and everyone’s a reporter.

  Paisley types feverishly on her phone. A quick glance at her screen shows the airline’s logo and I wonder if she’s getting any information. The long line of frustrated flyers ahead of us hasn’t moved, and I have a feeling it’s gonna be a long night.

  “Done,” she announces and shoves her phone back into her purse. She extends her hand to me just like she did when we first met. “It was a pleasure, Jax Kay. Have a safe trip home. I’m outta here.”

  “What?” I shake her hand, confused. “Where are you going?”

  “The flight is cancelled. There is nothing but connecting flights until late tomorrow evening. I requested a refund, booked myself at the Marriott, and rented a car. First thing tomorrow, I am driving back to Jersey. Which is what I should have planned on doing all along.”

  She’s a genius. An efficient genius.

  “Wait. I want to do that too.” If I drive straight through, only stopping for bathroom breaks and coffee, I can be home in plenty of time for work on Wednesday. “Show me how. I’ll refund my flight and drive home with you.”

  “Oh, with me?” She runs an uneasy hand through her hair. “I guess….”

  Dammit. I hadn’t meant it like that.

  “No, I just meant I’ll drive home too,” I correct. “But if you could show me how to book a room and rent a car from my phone, that would be awesome.” I’m not as savvy as most when it comes to the online stuff.

  “Sure.” She looks out the window and gasps. “Shit! The shuttle to the Marriott, it’s here. We need to run or we’ll be stuck here another thirty minutes waiting.” She takes off and once again I’m following behind her quick pace.

  We make it on time and flounce down onto the hard plastic bench of the bus. The bus takes off and the driver lets us know it’s a quick ride. Within a minute the hotel is already in sight. Any planning help will have to wait for now.

  The bus drops us off and once we’re inside, the line to check in is a long one. At least ten people are waiting for the two clerks behind the front desk. I can add airport hotels to my shit list. In the future when people ask me why I no longer fly, I will blame this night.

  Paisley scans the crowded check-in area and nods for me to follow her. She leads me to a bar in the lobby and we find two seats. It’s almost as if we’re right back to where we started. A new bartender greets us and we order Jack and Cokes.

  “Okay, I can show you how to do everything from your phone, including checking into your room.” She pulls out her phone to show me and the moment she does, it rings in her hand. The name Karie flashes across the screen. “Excuse me for like two seconds, I have to take this.” She steps away toward a quieter area to take the call.

  “Should I start a tab?” the bartender asks, placing our drinks down. I don’t think we’ll be here very long so I reach for my wallet to pay.

  “No no no!” Paisley comes running back, phone still attached to her ear, and slams a fifty onto the bar. “These are on me. I just realized you paid the bill at the airport. I’m so sorry. When I saw the flight was cancelled I went into panic mode.” As soon as the bartender takes her money, she returns to her call and walks away again. “Oh, this guy,” I hear her say. Then, “I’ll tell you in a minute.” She turns around, notices my eyes still on her, and her hips start to sway, making it hard not to zero in on her round backside in fitted jeans. I wonder if there’s a chance…. My phone pings and my wandering mind doesn’t get to finish that thought.

  Remi: Are you boarding yet?

  Me: The flight was cancelled. I’m taking it as a sign. Fuck it. I’m gonna rent a car and drive home.

  Remi: Are you sure? That’s a lot of driving for one person.

  Me: I’ll be fine. I’m gonna stay in a hotel tonight and leave in the morning.

  Remi: You should take one of those pills I gave you. It should help you get a good night’s sleep.

  Me: Excellent idea.

  Remi: Be careful with all that driving. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.

  Me: It’s better than flying. Talk tomorrow.

  I tuck my phone away, swapping it out for the bottle of pills. The one I took before did no
thing. Placing the pill on my tongue, I swallow it down with a little Jack and Coke. It’s almost midnight now. If I’m in bed by one, wake up by seven, on the road by eight the latest, add in a few stops, I should be home by around… 4:00 a.m. Fuck. That is a lot of driving with only six hours sleep. I take another sip of my drink and push it away. I’m done for the night.

  An eighteen hour drive alone....

  I wonder if I talk to Paisley, maybe there’s a possibility she would actually be open to the idea of us driving back to Jersey together?

  It could save us both a lot of hassle.

  “Like hot-hot,” I say to Karie, as soon as I’m sure Jax is out of earshot. “But it’s not like anything can happen.”

  “What?” she demands. “Why not? You’re stranded in an airport hotel with some random hot dude. Just go for it.”

  “We’re not exactly stranded. And he’s not exactly random. He lives in Jersey too. So I can’t. Right?” I ask, wanting Karie to completely convince me otherwise. It’s the reason I sent her a text to call me from the bus.

  “No, you totally can. Have fun, let loose. There’s nothing wrong with a little naked partying.”

  “I do love a party.” She makes a great point. I knew she would.

  “And it’s been a while since you partied.” Another very valid point. This is why I love her.

  “So what do I do?” I chew on my thumbnail. “Wait for him to make a move?”

  “No, fuck that old-fashioned shit. Be bold. Who runs the world?” She goes all Beyonce on me and I have no choice but to answer with—

  “Girls.”

  “Damn straight.”

  “But I’m so out of practice.” My Cliff Barstool moment proved that. “What should I say?”

  “You said he didn’t book a room yet. Well, maybe just forgo the separate rooms and ask him to stay in the fantasy suite.” She cackles at her Bachelor reference. Beyonce and now The Bachelor; clearly we’re both a little pop culture obsessed.

  “Ask him to stay in my room?” I groan. “I don’t know. That could get messy.”

  “How? It’s already midnight. You’ll fool around, fall asleep, and knowing you, you’ll be on the road at the butt crack of dawn before this guy has even opened his eyes. Nothing messy about that, it sounds ideal to me.”

  Sex, sleep, gone. That could work.

  “You’re right.” She did it. She convinced me like I hoped she would. A night of fun and then it’s goodbye. An infallible plan.

  A boost of confidence and a wave of horniness pulse through me.

  “You got this, Paisley.”

  I do got this. I definitely do got this.

  “I’m going to go back and proposition him right now,” I declare. “Wish me luck.”

  “Yeah you are.” Karie hoots. “Get ’em, girl.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow from the road.”

  “You better!” she yells into the phone before I disconnect.

  I’m so doing this. It’s a good plan. Sex, sleep, gone.

  I do a confident stomp back to the bar while Beyonce’s anthem blares in my head, empowering me, and do a quick mental checklist. I’m wearing black panties, nothing fancy but they’ll do. My bra is black too and even though it’s just a coincidence hopefully it will come off as a matching lingerie-esque vibe. I shaved my legs in the shower this morning; I was a little lazy with my bikini area but I’ve been told guys don’t really care about that as much as we think they do. If it’s a vagina they’re allowed to touch, they’re fine. I grab a courtesy mint off the hostess podium as I pass it but hope that once we’re in the room I can sneak to the bathroom to brush my teeth first.

  I am good to go.

  The moment I see Jax at the bar my confidence takes a small dive. What if I ask him to my room and he’s not interested? What if he says no?

  “Hey, I got a proposition for you,” he says as I take my seat next to him. A proposition—ZING! My confidence returns. Phew. We’re both thinking the same thing.

  “Don’t book a room. Spend the night with me,” I say, placing my hand on his thigh.

  “How about we make the drive together tomorrow and that way we can split the…,” he says at the same time, his voice trailing off as he takes in my very different proposition.

  “So we can drive together and save time in the morning.” I add in the extra words as if that’s what I had planned on saying, removing my hand from its place near his crotch. “Exactly. Oh my God, look at that, we had the same plan.” I’m horrified and begin to laugh. My laugh is maniacal. I try to reel it in but it only comes out crazier. “So. Perfect. Me and you same page. We have a plan. We can drive together tomorrow.”

  “Okay?” His face seems unsure. “And you want to share a room?”

  “Oh, yeah that. That was just an idea. If you want to we can or if not that’s fine too. Whichever.” I try and sound super casual. Try being the key word, because I can hear myself and I sound like a fucking lunatic. Quick, I need to do something not crazy. I grab my phone. “Here, let me add you as a driver to the car rental right now.” So much for not crazy. “This way we’re both insured and can take turns driving. I just need your license.” I don’t even take time to think it through, moving fast, doing anything I can think of to convince him that this was my plan too.

  Jax seems unsure but slips his license from his wallet and hands it over. Dammit, why did I ask him to stay in my room? Here I am propositioning him for sex and meanwhile he’s only looking to share a ride. I start the process of adding him to the reservation, my trembling fingers making a bunch of typos as I type.

  Jax tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling. “So back to this room thing. Before I say anything, I want to make sure I understand. Do you want us to share a room tonight?” He lowers his gaze back down to my face and lifts a brow over one of his blue eyes, causing me to gulp. “Or are you inviting me to your room for the night?”

  My stomach flips. It’s the same question but with two very different implications. I’m so turned around and confused, I’m not even sure which is which. I take a deep breath before answering.

  “The sex one.”

  There is no Hap-penis Tonight

  She peeks back over her shoulder nervously as we enter the room. Her sexy curves teased me all night and her invitation was one I couldn’t refuse. But if I had known it was coming, I wouldn’t have suggested driving back to Jersey together. After a one-night stand, people usually go their separate ways, not take an eighteen-hour road trip. This could get a little weird tomorrow.

  Actually, it’s a little weird now.

  Neither one of us is drunk. We had a couple drinks at the airport, one downstairs. Our wits are still intact, making this a bit more awkward than I’m used to. Sober hookups happen after dates, and a few hours of small talk at an airport bar to pass the time is hardly a date.

  Paisley unzips her carry-on bag, removes a few items, and disappears into the bathroom. I kick off my shoes and take a seat on one of the two queen-sized beds, folding my hands behind my head before lying down. My eyelids are heavy and my jaw stretches into a huge yawn. I decide lying down is not such a good idea. I get up and walk a few paces, trying to shake off the sudden drowsiness.

  Paisley steps back into the room. She’s changed and the sight of her in a pink tank and tiny polka-dot shorts is enough to wake me back up. A black bra strap slips down her shoulder and my lower half begins to stir.

  “Hey,” she says shyly, slipping off her glasses and placing them on the night table.

  “Hey,” I say back. Yeah, I am definitely awake now. Seeing her up close wearing next to nothing gives me a whole new appreciation for how gorgeous she really is.

  I step in closer and run the tips of my fingers down her arms. Freckles spill over the soft skin of her shoulders, which instantly puckers into goose bumps from my touch. She presses her hands against my chest, slowly bringing them over to my biceps before tipping her head back to be kissed. Her eyelids bat and her
long lashes flutter in anticipation. I can’t stop myself from grinning at the little touch of romance in this otherwise sinful encounter.

  In one swift motion, I swipe her up into my arms and lay her down onto the bed. She shivers and breathes out a delighted coo. I remove my shirt and in return she teases me, slowly sliding her tank up, exposing a quick glimpse of her black bra before tugging it back into place. She giggles and rolls over, hiding her face in one of the pillows. Her playfulness is a huge turn-on. I lower myself on top of her, my chest against her back, the front of my jeans pressing into her ass. Pushing away her blonde hair, I kiss between her shoulder blades. From the joyful sound she emits and the way her backside wriggles against my hardening cock, I can tell I’ve already found a sweet spot.

  My lips return to the same place over and over and soon her soft mewls switch into desperate groans. I ease up, lifting my body from hers, and she flips over. No more teasing; her tank gets removed and tossed to the side along with her bra. I cup and push together two perfect breasts before bringing my lips down to taste. Her fingers tangle in my hair as one of her pink nipples tightens against my tongue.

  “Oh God, Jax.” Her enthusiasm and wild energy take over and next thing I know our positions are reversed and I’m the one on my back while Paisley hoists a leg over to straddle me. Anxious hands tear away at my belt buckle. My cock strains against my fly, mercifully springing free once my jeans are lowered, and with some help from me, yanked off.

  I’m delighted to discover Paisley’s a two hander, working double time on my dick. It feels so good. I sink back into the feathery Marriott bedding and shut my eyes, indulging in the bliss of her touch. If she’s this good with her hands, what is her mouth capable of? Sweet mother of God, I don’t have to wait long to find out. Her hands never stop as her tongue enters the mix. Delightful wet laps circle the tip of my cock.

  Oh fuck. Yes. Nice, just like that…. Keep going… keep… wait… huh?