The Dark Places

by D. Martin

  We stood alone near the ship. Matt glanced down at me. I didn’t like the distant coldness in his expression, nor the icy green glints sparking his eyes. Where have all the golden specks gone?

  “This is the Stardancer, Kailiri. I fly alone. You will have to learn her basic operations so that you can pilot her in case something happens to me. This ship will be our home for many long stretches of time. I’m an independent far-rim trader. You are now a trader’s wife and, therefore, my venture partner. I will acquaint you with all you must know about my accounts, trade routes, and trade stock merchandise. When we reach Rikin, I’ll document a release statement to you regarding the Stardancer, her stock, and certain property holdings in the event of my demise.”

  His demise? I stared at Matt. He’d spoken coldly for the first time since I’d known him these brief hours of our acquaintance, marriage, and mating. His icy manner struck me more forcibly than finding out he was an intersystem trader and I’d become his partner—or that grim last statement about mortality.

  “Come, I’ll introduce you to your new home and means of escape from Harnaru,” he said with a bitter twist to those precise-chiseled lips that had enthralled me with kisses throughout the night.

  My throat tightened. I swallowed and held my breath a long, tense moment. Matt was beginning to frighten me again. Did he suspect I’d contacted Interplex? Impossible.

  He moved closer to the ship. A protected ident-seal plate appeared at his touch on the silver hull, located in a recessed area on the lower level. Matt activated the personal ident-locking device on his ship first by saying his name and then with his handprint on the small scanner. He stepped back and, grasping my arm, pulled me a safe distance as the ship awakened, opened her portal, and extended a short ramp down to the concrete.

  “When we’re in flight, I’ll program the Stardancer to accept your voice and handprint ident upon all locking devices upon the ship,” he said in the same distant manner.

  Matt led me up the ramp. We crossed the small, wide-open airlock in two steps, and then we were inside the Stardancer. I held my breath at the simple, compact, yet comfortable grace of her interior. She was larger than five of my old studio rooms together on her combined control deck and living areas.

  I followed him to where he showed me two sleeping cabins, one larger than the other. The larger was ours, he said. When I asked about the beds, as I saw only a wide couch there, Matt touched a control on the hull. The cushioned back receded, and the couch became a full-sized bed. My neck heated up fast beneath my coverall’s red collar as I envisioned his desirable, unclothed body on it and remembered it was just him and me on that ship. I quickly backed out the cabin.

  The ship had many surprising comforts hidden in compact places. I began to understand then that my mysterious mate was a man possessed of no small means. The ship was expensive—of that I was certain—and she seemed to be a fairly recent ship model too. New intersystem ships were more than expensive. They were almost unaffordable. What kind of lucrative trade dealings was Matt involved in? I stifled the hasty suppositions about possible involvement with illegal commodities.

  We returned to the control deck, and Matt crossed his arms over his chest and watched me without expression. “The Stardancer has a gravity well, so neither we, nor anything aboard, will float while we’re in zero gravity. I’ll give you a tour of the engine, cargo, and service compartments after we’re in flight, Kailiri. You’ll learn soon how your new home operates, along with all the basic energy and utility conservation that’s vital for survival in space.”

  I nodded once to show willingness to comply.

  “And you’ll learn about the ship’s defense operations. I’ll not allow raiders or pirates to carry off my wife or my ship.” If possible, his tone became harsher.

  Does he truly care about me? A furtive glance showed me the planes in his jaws had hardened. This was a serious matter to him. I’d never killed anyone, although I’d wanted to several times on Dearleth. I gave another nod.

  Silence fell between us and I consulted his eyes. The missing gold glints had reappeared and intermingled among the green sparks once more, but it didn’t make that stare any friendlier. Panic brewed within at the thought that I would be sealed in for who knows how long with this improbable stranger, who didn’t exist as Matt Lorins before five years ago. Who was he? Was Harry right? Was my new husband a criminal, a detective—or spy—posing as a trader?

  “I’ll bring in the luggage and supplies.” His gaze continued holding mine captive. “We’ll go over the port’s checklist to make sure everything I requested was done. Then we’ll lift within the next thirty minutes per the Marnu Port’s flight comp instructions.” He didn’t move. His inscrutable stare stayed fixed upon me.

  I swallowed and resisted the urge to turn my back on him. He was making me uneasy. I desperately tried to think of something to say.

  “Thank you,” I finally managed to whisper. What else could you say to a virtual stranger who marries you and offers to take you away from your dreary, little, boring—but safely predictable—life? “Thank you for marrying me and taking me with you.”

  An expression that looked like keen disappointment crossed Matt’s features.

  Did I offend him? What else am I supposed to say?

  He turned away.

  Constrained silence fell between us. I wrung my hands. After several seconds, he left through the still-open ship portal to bring in our luggage and bags. I stood numbly staring around the ship’s interior, remembering his pained expression.

  Why did he marry me?

  Chapter Four

  The Stardancer sped away from Harnaru on the thrust of her powerful engines. Mucleonic engines, Matt had informed me. He had spoken only about technical matters since I’d taken the second navicon seat on his left. He gave brief explanations about the ship’s navilog comp, how to tie in for planet liftoff, and how to access the flight quantum sequence shift drive. Whatever that was.

  He’d mentioned he often set the navilog comp on programmed autoflight to allow him to rest and tend to other matters. Matt had also summarized various ship functions controlled from the console and from the small auxiliary controls inset beneath protective shields on the chairs’ armrests. And he made certain to show me the defense station, with its code-locked beamer weaponry and small missile armaments that would give most raiders second thoughts about approaching his ship.

  I regarded the imposing and complex control console with awed respect, and silently vowed not to touch a single button—unless impending doom threatened. It could stay on autoflight where I was concerned. Everything he’d described promised grim repercussions if I made a mistake. The wrong button could send us off course, disconnect ship power, or shutdown life support…. I suppressed a shudder. No, despite whatever expectations my mate holds about our future together—however brief that might be—I am not flying this ship. I have absolutely no accreditations as a pilot-navigator.

  I studied Matt’s profile where he sat, his remote expression focused on the observation window. A deep breath helped me pluck up my courage to say that which must be spoken.

  “Matt… you don’t have to keep to the terms of our marriage tract—whatever they were. You can set me down on the next Alliance world. I’ll gladly absolve you of all responsibilities, and I’ll void all claims I could have upon you and your property,” I said in what I hoped was a steady, reasonable voice.

  My open admittance to not remembering if there had been specific marriage terms made me bite my lower lip in embarrassment. I hadn’t paid much attention last night in City Records because I was too busy being imprinted by him, and I’d been too distracted to ask during our impassioned night together.

  He tossed me a fierce frown with smoldering sparks in his glare. “Is that what you want, Kailiri?” he thundered. “Is that truly what you want of me?”

  I held my breath and clutched my chair’s armrest. My stomach contracted.

  Matt surged
up from his chair. His fingers knotted into fists at his side, and he closed his eyes a second. When he looked at me again, his expression had shuttered and his low tone sounded impersonal, as if he’d reined in his emotions. “I contracted and signed an open-term marriage with you, true, but I didn’t intend for us to part so soon afterward. I—I had hope of the possibility of a closed-term tract between us.”

  A closed-term contract was a rarity in our age: a lifelong commitment. Most couples started with short open agreements and then chose the closed-term if they felt deeply bond-paired.

  I rose and took a step toward him and then stopped. It remained difficult to touch Matt as freely as he touched me, and it probably wasn’t wise at that moment.

  He razed me with a probing stare wherein green mists wavered, then cleared. He closed the brief space between us, framed my face between gentle hands, and covered my lips with his.

  Cold numbness radiated through me, followed by clenching tension and then a slow, sensuous unraveling within my core, which yearned for him to warm and fill me. I wanted Matt. My arms entwined themselves around his neck, and my fingers entangled themselves in his soft dark hair. Dim awareness of pressing into him with overwhelming need reached my dazed senses. He crushed me to him. Mild shock coursed through me at the tiny whimpering sounds I made. My longing for him had become an actual tearing pain deep within me. I’d never felt this way for any man. What is wrong with me?

  A deep, dark ache lodged in my heart and soul would not mend until we were one again. He swept me up without warning and carried me to the sleeping quarters, where we began a feverish rediscovery of each other’s bodies. This time, I pushed him gently onto his back and climbed on top. I rode his body until I shattered inside. Matt huskily whispered my name and spilled his warm seed deep in me before he pulled me down onto his chest and enfolded me in his arms.

  Chapter Five

  I opened my eyes in slow degrees and became aware of two things: the slight, abraded tenderness—but deeply fulfilled—sensation in my lower parts, and soft thrumming from the ship’s engines in the background. I stared at the unfamiliar surroundings. Then full remembrance returned about where I was… and what had ensued between Matt and me.

  I turned and found the sleep couch occupied only by me. I stumbled to my feet and ran a hasty hand through my hair to tame the rampant curls. This was when I truly appreciated being on a ship with a gravity well. The passenger liner I’d taken to Harnaru from Dearleth had been barebones, without one. The long, zero-gravity flight had wreaked tangled havoc on my hair.

  I gathered the satiny black top sheet about my nude body and crept with hesitant steps to the cabin’s door. It parted with an almost inaudible hiss. I swept my gaze across the darkened living area and over to the control deck until I found Matt, fully dressed and sitting in his navicon chair in apparent deep thought. He stared at the rushing star stream beyond the ship’s flight path. I padded toward him across the thickly carpeted deck. When I stood beside his chair, he looked up as if drawn from a trance.

  Green mist swirled within his eyes. I gasped and stumbled back fast, intending to flee, with certain fear showing in my open-mouthed expression. He stood and took rapid steps to overtake me. My throat went arid dry when he focused his mist-filled gaze on me and grasped my arm.

  “The ship’s locked on autoflight,” he murmured as he towed me toward the living area. He sat on one of the low, wide couches and pulled me down onto his lap. The green clouds had vanished from his eyes by then.

  “Who are you?” I whispered, daring to lightly touch his hard-angled jaw.

  Matt caught my questing hand in his and imprisoned it over his heart. “Interplex couldn’t tell you, doll?” he asked with a sardonic, bitter twist to his lips. His expression hardened as his eyes narrowed.

  How does he know? My breath caught in a choking gasp as I attempted to snatch my captured hand from his. His strong fingers tightened painfully upon mine until I stopped struggling. I waited with numb dread for whatever else he would say.

  He stared across at the observation window’s star field. “A long day’s journey into the night, doll. That’s the essence of life.”

  I stayed silent but quivered. What is he?

  Matt focused on me. “My days have all been dark. All the paths have led to death,” he whispered, “but you are my guideline back to the light for a while, Kailiri.”

  An icy chill raced along my back. Part of me wanted to kiss those lips, saying impossible things. The other part wanted to run and hide away somewhere on his ship. I wanted him to make sense, to say the normal, complacent things most mated couples said to each other after they’ve shared so intimately of themselves. I didn’t even know if I loved Matt beyond this painful attraction I’d developed for him. Is this what he meant when he said we’d imprinted on each other?

  “I pray that I may never draw you into my own darkness, dear heart,” he said in a low tone that seemed filled with deep regret and sadness. “Stay clear of the shadowed places that you might find within me. Touch nothing but the smooth paths and walk only in the open spaces of my heart, and you shall be safe.”

  I was afraid of him and for him. My Real Quiet One was treading dangerous, fragile bridges in his mind—and I didn’t want that. Not for him, who seemed impervious to chemical depressants in great quantities, and could remain alert and personable. I didn’t want to find that he was vulnerable to mental phantasms that I couldn’t see or fight.

  “Matt….” I choked and buried my face in his shoulder to hide the threatening tears.

  He released the hand he’d been gripping, and I wrapped them both around him. He held me while my hot tears soaked his tunic’s front.

  Is he a madman? Sad, bitter thoughts haunted me. Was Harry right about that probability? At least he didn’t seem to be a murderer, despite his anger at the things I’ve said and done. I finally lifted my head from Matt’s damp shoulder.

  He solemnly regarded me. “Feeling better now?” Quiet concern filled his tone. He lifted the finger that bore his ring to trace a tear track along my cheek.

  What could I say? I shook my head no to show that I did not.

  “I would feel better if you stopped worrying about me, doll.”

  “Matt, is… is there some way I can help you?”

  “Yes… stay with me until the final darkness,” he softly said.

  I shivered. “What are you talking about?”

  Matt smiled in a way that looked sad and rueful at the same time. “I’m dying, doll.” He continued in his quiet tone when I stared with speechless, open-mouthed dismay. “I am not perishing from anything contagious or fatal to you. I’m dying from a bargain I made and kept a long time ago in my wild and careless youth.”

  I caressed his face. The hairs on his chin and jaw were soft and almost nonexistent. I’d made a guess hours ago that it was either due to an inhibitor potion or his beard was of the slower-growing variety. He didn’t look anywhere near his middle years. In that moment he looked very young and vulnerable. He couldn’t be dying. In the brief two days I’d known him, he’d seemed full of virile, vitality energy and life.

  He caught my questing hand in his, and his expression shut down with a stern frown and his voice became curt, as if he didn’t want my compassion.

  “How long do you intend to sit there arrayed like that? Are you giving yourself to me again, doll?”

  A confused glance downward made me blush. My improvised sheet wrapping had slipped far down my body, leaving my breasts bare and very little else below my navel covered. When I made a belated grab to gather the folds up, Matt stopped my hand, and his mouth captured mine in a long, possessive kiss. My nipples hardened against him as urgent need revived in the warm, melting sensation between my legs. I couldn’t understand my deep physical attraction for this mysterious man, and I could not resist him whenever it surfaced.

  He laid me back on the couch and moved away to slip off his garments and boots. Then he kneeled over me and
peeled away the silk sheet until I lay uncovered before him. My lingering shock from his disturbing revelation minutes ago fled at the sight of his outjutting erection. I ran my fingers first over the soft black hair that formed a definite swirl pattern, tracing up from his pubic area until it encircled his inward-turned navel like an intricate, dark tattoo. Another tantalizing mystery about my Real Quiet One, I thought, then stroked my hands lower over the rest of him until his body covered mine.

  Slow, unmarked time passed as our flesh merged. Exhaustion left us both drained and incapable of anything beyond clinging to each other’s warm, sweat-slicked bodies.

  Matt lay awake on his back, holding me with lax arms. My becalmed senses were further lulled by his deep, even breaths beneath my ear where I rested my head on his damp chest right over his heart. The strong, vigorous life-pattern rhythm from it pounded insistently against my cheek, and I could not understand how he could be dying. My arms tightened about him as fierce determination surged through me.

  I will not allow him to die. If he wanted me to be his guideline back to the light, then I would be just that—a guideline.

  “Why does Interplex only have five years of records for you, Matt?” I asked, dispelling the intimate calm and sensual satisfaction binding us. Several times I had wanted to ask after my discovery, but caution and fear had kept me silent. Now, in this moment after passion melted away reservations with him and when I’d vowed to save him, I dared.

  “The years before that are gone, memories only. Dark memories that I chose to walk away from forever…. Ask me, instead, about Rikin, my lady.” Matt spoke quietly, but with my head upon his chest, it rumbled low in my ear and sent pleasant thrills through my body down to my toes.

  However, the grim things he’d said made me pause and consider before speaking. “Will asking about Rikin answer my first question?”