Yes, I Can Do This

by Laran Mithras

  Valerie made a show at the diving board in her two piece. Her huge breasts were barely contained.

  Tina scowled. If those aren't fake, then I swear they got bigger. She's going to fall over.

  The blonde raised her arms over her head and stretched.

  Tina rolled her eyes. There was no reason to stretch except to display her tits.

  Men were looking. Even Gerald.

  She reached over and slapped him. "Thought you didn't like big tits?"

  He jerked and looked away from Valerie to her. "I don't. I was…just liking the two-piece. It would look good on you."

  "Uh huh."

  A splash indicated Valerie had made her dive and display.

  Tina looked elsewhere. She looked at all the men lounging around the pool: many were handsome enough, but all were looking at the pool where Valerie swam the breast stroke – her legs opening in an exaggerated scissor-move.

  Great, I don't wrap myself in the towel and no one notices. It's all about the tits, isn't it? How lame. How am I supposed to be a hotwife if all men notice is tits?

  Connor was sitting on the edge of his lounge, watching Valerie. He cast a glance at Tina.

  Was that a signal? She checked the pool. Oh, no, it was. Here she comes.

  From underwater, right in front of Tina and her husband, Valerie rose slowly up and out of the pool. Her hands gripped the edge. Water streamed from her face as the sun hit it. Her head was back as if drinking in the sun's warmth. More of her came up out of the water, her back arched. Her breasts appeared, thrust obscenely forward on display.

  Men on this side sighed with satisfaction. One groaned with angst and need. A few mutters circulated to the effect that her tits needed cock between them. Gerald was watching.

  Tina burned with redness.

  Valerie slowly shook her head, swinging her blonde hair and flinging water from it as she leaned up out of the pool in the ledge, her breasts still thrust forward. Her nipples made stupendous suggestions on her bikini.

  Tina slapped her hand to her face. Oh brother. Does this not ever get old?

  The blonde rose out of the pool and faked a pant to heave her bosoms breathlessly.

  Connor came around the pool, towel in hand. He wore a smirk of satisfaction on his face as he passed all the other men. A few lifts of his eyebrow and that ingratiating grin told everyone he knew he had a hot number.

  Could this get any worse? Gawd, I wish her tits would just blow up. I wanna see it in the news: Woman's tits explode, injuring twenty. News at eleven.

  But of course, the blonde wasn't done. She blinked like a lost child and looked around, turning one way and then the other as if wondering where to go. In reality, she was just swinging her tits for equal opportunity display on either side. Her eyes settled on Gerald and Tina.

  She said breathlessly, "Oh, hi Gerald. And…"

  She sighed. "Tina, remember?"

  "Oh, right. Teena Reena."

  Tina rolled her eyes. There was no way the woman could have possibly forgotten Tina's name; she had known it for two years. But pretending gave her the chance to stress her insinuation that Tina really meant teenie. The blonde always looked at Tina's chest when she did it.

  Gerald said, "Hello, Val."

  Oh gawd, don't give her the satisfaction of using a nickname…

  Valerie smiled brightly and wriggled her boobs back and forth as if excited at the meeting.

  Connor interrupted any further conversation. "Hey there, Tina. Gerald." He handed the towel to Valerie.

  She took it and wrapped it around her shoulders, but gripped the ends and brought them up underneath her huge breasts, pushing them up and out. She looked around to witness the admiring looks.

  I think I'm going to throw up. Yes, that's it. Woman barfs on tits, causing a massive explosion and toxic spill. Hundreds injured. News at eleven.

  Gerald stood and shook Connor's hand. "Hey Connor."

  The muscular man shook her husband's hand firmly but without challenge. His eyes shifted to Tina. "Tina, you look lovely today."

  Valerie made a dismissive sound.

  Tina tried to ignore it. "Thank you." What else am I supposed to say? Not as lovely as your wife's over-inflated beach balls? I swear those things are going to explode.

  Connor was smiling down at her. "Pretty suit."

  "What?" Oh gosh, I actually said that? But, it's just a black one-piece.

  Valerie rushed in. "Oh my, it's hot. Are you going for a swim?" It was directed at Gerald.

  Her husband nodded. "Yeah, was just relaxing a moment. But it is hot."

  White teeth flashed as fake as her fake-looking tits – even though her tits actually were real. "I'll join you."

  Tina scowled as her husband waded into the pool and Valerie followed.

  Connor, again holding Valerie's towel, said, "No swimming for you?"

  Not with that water-witch in there. I can see it now… Woman's tits explode on contact with water. Satellite catches the event from orbit. News at eleven. "In a little while…"

  He flashed a grin at her and nodded. He walked back around the pool, talking to a few others along the way. Diplomatic, polite, and covered with Teflon. Nothing seemed to bother him. He chatted with some of the men who couldn't drag their eyes away from Valerie's obscene orbs.

  Tina began studying the other women. All but one wore one-piece suits. The other two-piece bikini in the pool area belonged to Gloria, a woman who had to be at least fifty. She was gray-haired and skinny, her skin hanging a little loosely on her stick-thin frame. Brown from the sun, the older woman actually pulled off wearing a two-piece and looking good in it.

  She leaned forward, watching Gloria for a moment. The old bird was so skinny she had no tits, just like Tina. Hmm, she can do it and no one seems to make fun of her. She watched Gloria being talked up by an older man who was obviously more interested in her than in Valerie.

  Gerald was swimming in the pool, being shadowed by Valerie, though she kept her distance. He didn't seem too enticed by the voluptuous vixen.

  Tina began rubbing her lips back and forth. Maybe I can wear a two-piece. So what if Valerie doesn't approve? Gloria gets away with it. Why can't I? Resolved, she looked forward to getting back inside their house.

  CHAPTER 5

  Tina moved up and down, sliding her pussy up and down her husband's solid erection. She moved slowly, her hands gripping his hairy chest for support. Her eyes were closed and she was enjoying the feeling of sliding fullness. She abruptly opened her eyes. "Should I get implants?"

  Gerald coughed in annoyance. "No, quit asking."

  "You sure followed Valerie's bouncing boobs around all day."

  His tone was affronted. "I did not."

  In truth, he hadn't. But Tina wanted to be sure. "You don't think she has beautiful breasts?"

  "Not really, they're too fucking huge." He was playing with Tina's – swirling his fingers around her nipples and palming what little flat puffiness she had. "What did you and Connor talk about?"

  She stopped moving on him. "Talk? Nothing really."

  "I thought I saw you two talking?"

  "Oh, yeah, I mean, he asked if I was going to swim. That was all." Hey, what if… "I think he wanted to swim with me."

  Gerald nodded. "He's always nice to you."

  "Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I smiled at him; it was nice to talk to him."

  "You smiled at him?"

  "Mm hmm. Gave him a little wink." She hadn't, but her husband didn't need to know that.

  "Oh, really? Huh."

  She tested him. "That doesn't bother you?"

  "No, why should it? He was nice to you and you were nice to him. What's there to be upset over?"

  Huh… So this hotwife thing isn't just a fluke with you? "It's nice to talk to a handsome man."

  "I'm not handsome enough?" There was a slight edge to that question.

  She laughed. "Of course you are. Valerie's eyes are all over you when you come into the pool ar
ea." She said it bitterly. Damn that hussy.

  "I guess it's nice to see you aren't uptight about talking to someone—"

  "Uptight? Me?"

  He tried to backpedal. "I know you're not uptight…"

  "Then what do you mean? I was quite the partier when we met."

  "Yeah, but you didn't go around dropping your pants for every—"

  She moved more forcefully, feeling a little irritation. "I gave all that up for you. I've given plenty of handjobs and blowjobs over the years. Dozens and dozens of cocks—"

  Gerald groaned heavily and thrust up into her. His cock flexed and began squirting hotness into her depths.

  Did he just cum because I moved more vigorously, or because I mentioned cocks?

  ~ ~ ~

  Tina clicked on the black bikini with small white polka dots. Into her cart it went and she clicked the checkout button. She closed out the window before her boss could find her shopping online instead of doing work.

  Derek leaned in the door. "Hey, uh…"

  "Hmm?"

  "You wanna do lunch?" He looked nervous.

  Tina leaned on her elbows and regarded him. Tall and heavy, he was most definitely not her speed. He thought too much of himself, thought his goatee made him look cool, and thought all that fat was muscle. No, dear Derek, muscle is what my husband has. What Connor has. Muscle is sculpted, not packed on like slabs of flab. But…

  His face was falling, withering under her gaze.

  She said, "Sure. What did you have in mind?" Might as well let him flirt with me, even if I definitely would never do anything with this guy.

  He looked so shocked and stunned that he stood there with his mouth open. His pulse beat brutally in his neck – on a rapid adrenaline-fueled rampage of surprise. "Uh…" He blinked and tossed his head. "You're the big organics fan, right?"

  She nodded, giving him a smile. At least he remembered.

  "Heather's Homemade—"

  Her smile widened. "Heather's is perfect."

  Derek straightened, still looking stunned. "Uh, an hour?"

  She checked the clock. "Sure."

  ~ ~ ~

  Tina smiled back at a grinning Derek.

  He said, "Thanks for coming."

  She shrugged, playing it off as if it were nothing. "I don't get invited to lunch very often."

  His smile said he didn't know what to make of that. "I think Hugh is my new enemy."

  "Oh? Why?"

  Derek looked all serious and conspiratorial. "He's had a thing for you for—"

  "Ew, tartar-teeth?" She clapped a hand over her mouth. "I shouldn't have said that."

  He looked amused. "No, no, I think the same. Does the guy never brush his teeth?"

  She shook her head.

  Derek looked a little embarrassed. "At least I keep myself clean. I just need to exercise a little more." He said it as if admitting it hurt.

  Tina pursed her lips. "It's not the exercise."

  He looked confused. "Huh?"

  "Exercise isn't the answer."

  "What do you mean? Everyone knows more exercise than calories—"

  "Totally useless."

  He sat back, looking perturbed. "Explain."

  She sipped at her iced tea and glanced over at the counter. The wait would be several more minutes. She looked back to him. "Fat accumulates due to imbalances. Forcing your body into imbalance over and over with what you eat causes obesity. Many things go into it, not just over-eating and lack of exercise."

  "Imbalance?" He looked annoyed.

  "Sure. I'd say right away that the kind of food you eat can cause problems. Soy is inflammatory. So is the current genetically modified wheat. Gliadin is extremely inflammatory. So is high fructose corn syrup. So is MSG."

  "What does inflammation have to do with fat? Isn't inflammation just bloating?"

  "Chronic inflammation is one of the primary causes of diabetes and obesity."

  Derek looked almost as shocked as when she had told him she'd go with him to lunch. "What other causes? Exercise, right?"

  "There's actually no need to exercise if you eat certain kinds of foods. Your body will metabolize fat and shed it if it gets enough of the right kind of foods. But also one of the biggest reasons people get obese is an iodine deficiency. If your thyroid doesn't get enough iodine, it will cease functioning and you'll balloon up no matter what you eat or how little."

  He rubbed his goatee. "Iodine, huh?"

  "Hard to get, except for cranberry juice. A cup a day would set your thyroid back on track."

  He leaned back. "And no exercise?"

  "None. Exercise can actually cause harmful toxins to be released and run through your system at a more extreme rate."

  He didn't look convinced. "I don't know... Everyone knows more exercise and less calories—"

  "And Americans are getting fatter and fatter, no matter how much they exercise. It's all about balance and what you eat."

  He scowled.

  She raised her hands. "Look at me."

  He let out a considering groan. "I guess I can't argue that. So I should be picking up diet food?"

  Tina laughed. "Don't – it's the worst food you can buy."

  "You're kidding."

  "Nope, read the ingredients. Packed with inflammatory substances that do nothing but make things worse."

  He coughed. "Then what should I be eating?"

  "Organic fruits and veggies. Grass-fed beef. Eggs—"

  "Those are all the things we've been told cause fat."

  "Uh huh, so we avoid them and we get fatter. Think about it."

  He raised an eyebrow and rubbed his goatee again. "I think maybe I'm glad I asked you out."

  She giggled. "Oh, is this a date?"

  His eyes went wide and he shook his head. "No, no, of course not. Just lunch. We're co-workers."

  She sighed. She could see the panic in his eyes at the thought of some memo coming around reminding everyone that no one is supposed to be aware of the other gender. "Don't worry about it, Derek."

  "It's just lunch—"

  "Would you have asked Hugh to lunch?"

  He gaped, looking a mixture of disgusted and ashamed. "Uh…"

  She laughed again, louder. "Would you relax?"

  Cassie brought their plates: spinach salad with ham and egg.

  Derek looked relieved.

  Gosh, why did I say yes? This isn't turning out to be a learning experience for me, it's more a learning experience for him.

  He said, "So this is what I need to be eating?"

  "It's a start."

  "It will help if I exercise?"

  "It can hurt. But if you really feel you must, just walk."

  "Walk?"

  "Yeah, go for a walk."

  "I thought you had to break a sweat?"

  She shook her head.

  "And you never go to the gym?"

  "Pff!" She shook her head harder. "Never."

  He looked at her in wonder. "If people followed your advice, gyms would be closing down everywhere."

  She shrugged as if it weren't her problem.

  He said, "Shannon hits the gym every day."

  Tina stopped chewing, then started again. "Do you think she looks good?"

  A look of wariness crossed his face, and he looked at her sideways. "She doesn't look as good as you."

  A compliment! Now was that a flirt? Or just an innocent comment? "You think I look good?"

  He leaned his head back, his eyes going wide. He sputtered, "Oh…well…yeah… You know…"

  She giggled suddenly. "Thanks."

  He stopped trying to sound nonchalant and just smiled. There was a fine sheen of nervous sweat covering his forehead.

  Well, this certainly is far harder than anything I did when I partied. Everything seemed so easy then. Trying to get a guy to hit on me so I can be a hotwife feels like an impossible task. What's it take, now?

  ~ ~ ~

  Tina lay in bed, slowly stroking her husband's cock
. "So…"

  He was smiling, amused that they were being sexual again so soon. He had been used to once a month. "Hmm?"

  "Would you be mad if I told you I let a co-worker take me to lunch today?"

  He sat up a little, studying her with a frown. "A co-worker?"

  She nodded, trying to cover her nervousness. This is the big test. Or are they all big tests?

  "Who was it?"

  "A guy named Derek. Took me to Heather's."

  "Derek?" Suspicion mounted in his voice. "Like the typical romance novel type of Derek?"

  She laughed abruptly. "Um, no. He's sort of nice-looking, but he probably weighs twice what you do."

  He leaned back as if in exhaustion or defeat. Or maybe relief. "Oh." His cock began firming. "Why'd you go to lunch with him?"

  "Um, he asked?"

  Gerald nodded silently. His cock stayed hard.

  "So…that's not a problem?"

  He chuckled. "No, I guess not."

  "You guess not?"

  "Well, as long as you aren't running off with the guy, no."

  She gave a small laugh. "Um, no."

  He relaxed a little more but his cock stayed hard. "So…was it a nice lunch?"

  "The food was good."

  He coughed in indignation. "You know what I mean. Was it fun?"

  "Well, not entirely. He got me talking about food."

  Gerald laid his head back and laughed heartily. "Oh god…"

  She pouted, trying to hide a smile. "Am I that bad?"

  "No, not really, but you can sure get going on it…"

  "Hmm."

  He leaned his head back up. "So that was it? You talked about food?"

  "Well, not only. We started talking about gyms. He mentioned Shannon goes every day."

  "She's the big-titted one?"

  "Yep. But he said I looked better than her."

  "Oh, did he?" His voice was a little husky. His cock flexed.

  Test passed. Okay, okay, so far so good. I know I can do this hotwife thing.

  Her husband said, "Too bad he's so big."

  She acted innocent. "Huh? Why?"

  "Because then you could return the compliment."

  Fuck yes, I can do this!

  CHAPTER 6

  Tina dressed with anticipation. They were going out to dinner with their friends, Don and Christine DeLeon. Of anyone they knew, Tina thought Don was the perfect candidate for this whole hotwife thing. He's handsome, smiles at me a lot, and his wife is nice. They're perfect.