Dirty, Reckless Love - Lexi Ryan

by Ryan, Lexi

  Teagan is less restrained in her affection and picks me up off the ground when she hugs me. “You scared us,” she says. “I’d have been so pissed at you if you’d died.”

  “Well, we wouldn’t want that,” I say, laughing. “Missed you, Teagan.”

  She pulls back and beams at me. “You remember me. Yay!”

  I nod. “I pretty much remember everyone now.”

  “Anything about what happened to you?” Ava asks, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Or about who . . . ?”

  I shake my head. “Unfortunately not.”

  “But you’re staying with my Levi,” Mrs. Jackson says. “You’ll let him take care of you until the police get to the bottom of all this?”

  I nod, my throat suddenly too clogged to talk. If I had any doubt that Jackson Harbor is my home, this moment with the people I love brings that truth front and center. I belong here. “I’d better get out there. I don’t want to miss anything.”

  Molly catches me as I step out of the tent, and I stiffen even though I want to pretend she doesn’t bother me. “I wanted to apologize,” she says.

  I arch a brow. “I was told you don’t have anything to apologize for.” The edges of my words are so sharp they could cut me open.

  She shakes her head. “I didn’t sleep with him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t owe you an apology. I handled everything with Noah so terribly and it blew up in my face, and now . . .” She turns, but not before tears spill down her cheeks. She wipes them away. “Shit. He loved you so much. I wish I’d never told him the truth.”

  I put my hand on her arm and nod toward the tent. “We can have this conversation another time. Right now, you need to be in there for Ava.”

  She nods. “Thanks. I’ll call you, okay? Maybe we can get together next week.” More tears spill over, and she shakes her head. “Crap. I just hate this. I’m scared something terrible happened to him.”

  I bite my lip. He’s okay. I saw him yesterday afternoon. But can I trust Molly? Colton must have good reasons for hiding, and he told me not to trust anyone but Levi. I say all I can: “I hate it too.”

  She shocks me by pulling me into her arms for a quick hug. Before I can decide what to think, she releases me and ducks back into the tent.

  I blink after her. She’s so genuine that it’s impossible to hate her. Damn it.

  All thoughts of Molly disappear when I spot Levi walking toward me.

  “There you are,” he says. Taking my hand, he pulls me around to the back of the tent so we’re tucked between the white canvas and the tree line. He cups my face in his hands and studies me. “Holy shit, I’m glad you’re here.”

  Then he kisses me. It’s not long or tender. Just hard and meaningful.

  “Hi,” I whisper when he pulls away.

  He grins, stepping back and raking his gaze over my fitted red dress. His eyes linger on my legs before coming back up to meet mine. “Save me a dance tonight.”

  “You dance?”

  He holds my gaze. “Anything for an excuse to hold you close.”

  “Everyone take their seats, please,” someone calls from around the front.

  “We should go,” I say, totally not wanting to.

  Levi kisses me hard again. “I changed my mind. Save me all your dances.” Then he walks away, and I’m left having to make my way to my seat with wobbly legs.

  The ceremony is beautiful. The music is a simple flautist and violin duet that is the perfect fit for this outdoor wedding.

  The bridesmaids gracefully make their way down the aisle, their skirts sweeping over the grass. The ring bearer comes next, and my heart tugs the moment I see his face. He looks so much like Colton, and it makes my heart ache. Whatever Colton’s hiding from needs to be resolved quickly. This little guy deserves to know his father.

  The flower girl is adorable. Levi’s niece, Lilly, tosses rose petals on the grass and beams at everyone in a way that suggests she thinks this is her day as much as it’s Ava’s.

  Then comes the bride. Levi’s oldest brother, Brayden, walks Ava down the aisle and kisses her cheek before taking his seat at the front. She looks stunning. She turns to her groom, and Jake shakes his head, wonder and love clear in his eyes. That thickness returns to my throat, and my eyes fill with happy tears.

  The ceremony is short but touching. When the officiant references the family who couldn’t be there, Jake cups Ava’s face in his hands and wipes away her tears with his thumbs. They’re beautiful together, and witnessing their love as they exchange vows fills me with hope, but as much as I try to stay in the moment and focus on the joy, it also fills me with an odd surety about my feelings for Levi. Maybe I’ll never know why I took Colton’s ring, but I trust my heart, and it’s drawing me toward Levi Jackson. Maybe something changed in my chemistry the night of the assault or maybe I have a different perspective now, but I don’t need my memories to understand where I belong.

  “You promised me a dance.”

  At the sound of Levi’s voice, I look up from my untouched meal. “I actually think you promised me, but I’m pretty sure there are no losers here.” I take his hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. He pulls me into his arms and against his chest, like we’re every bit as much a couple as the others dancing are.

  The whole afternoon has been a blur of joy and happiness: the ceremony, the receiving line, all the way to the cocktails at Jackson Brews and the bride and groom’s first dance before dinner was served.

  I’ve watched Levi through it all. I’m drunk on lust and something more—a heartache that keeps pulling me back to what Levi said about Jake and Ava getting married despite all the bad happening around them. “They decided to put love first.”

  “I thought Ethan would never finish his damn speech so we could get to this part. I’ve been dying to get you close.” His voice is all gruff and sexy, and it makes the butterflies in my belly do slutty dances. “You had to wear that dress, didn’t you?”

  “You don’t like it?”

  He coughs. “No. I don’t like it. It makes me want to break the promises I’ve made and find the nearest flat surface where I can fuck you senseless.”

  “Oh. Well, that doesn’t sound awful.”

  He chuckles softly and pulls me closer. “I remember the first time I saw you in it. You wore it to the bar after Ava and Jake got back together. You looked so damn beautiful, and Colton was there but seemed totally oblivious to you. Every time you looked at him, I thought you were going to cry. I wanted to shake him for not seeing what was right in front of him.”

  I close my eyes, remembering that night—one of the many after things deteriorated between Colton and me but before we broke up. “I wanted to tell him I was pregnant, but he was acting weird. I was afraid he already knew and was trying to figure out how to get out of being involved.” I study his dark eyes. “I’d become invisible to him, but you always saw me. From the beginning.”

  “When he made you happy, I wouldn’t let myself think about my feelings for you. But once he started making you so damn sad, it was all I could do not to pull you aside and beg you to ditch his ass and be mine.” He exhales slowly. “Who needs enemies when you have friends like me?”

  I pull back to study his face. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Didn’t I? I made love to you the first chance I had. Before you even knew what had happened between Colton and Molly, I jumped in.” He shakes his head. “And here I am, trying to do it again.”

  “And here I am,” I whisper, “wanting you to.”

  He kisses the top of my head.

  I lean against his shoulder and watch the bride and groom dance a few feet away. “They’re so happy.”

  “They fought for that. No matter how easily love comes, happily-ever-after isn’t simple.”

  “It seems like it should be.”

  He buries his nose in my hair and breathes deeply. “Yes, but if you’ve only ever seen sunshine, how do you know you can face the storm?”
/>   I close my eyes and focus on the heat of his body against mine. Is that what this is? The ring I took from Colton, the assault, and my subsequent recovery? Are Levi and I simply weathering a storm that’ll leave us stronger in the end? Could we have a chance together? Despite everything?

  “Can we go somewhere private?” I ask. I was going to wait until tonight to tell Levi about my latest memories—to confess I remember our night together—but now I don’t want to wait another minute.

  He looks around the reception before giving a sharp nod. “Yeah. Sure.” He releases my waist and takes my hand, leading me off the dance floor.

  We walk through the kitchen, weaving around staff members who are busily preparing trays of appetizers for the party. Opening a door at the back of the kitchen, he steps into Jake’s office. I follow him in, shutting the door behind us and blocking out some of the noise from the kitchen.

  When I turn to him, his eyes are all over me, moving up and down my red dress, my legs, pausing a beat at my hips, my cleavage, my lips. When he meets my eyes, he swallows hard. “Thank you for coming today. It means a lot to my family, and my family means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.”

  I shake my head. “I wouldn’t have missed it.” I stalk toward him and shake my head. “Did I tell you I remember the night at the lake? You built a fire, and we spread a blanket out in the back of your truck.”

  “You do?”

  Nodding, I slide my hands beneath his jacket and up his chest. “You didn’t take advantage of me, Levi. You gave me what I asked for. What I needed.”

  He draws in a breath through his teeth.

  “You make this suit look so good.” I push the jacket off his shoulders.

  He shrugs out of it and lets it fall to the floor. “If you like it so much, why are you taking it off me?”

  “Because you make shirtless look really good too,” I whisper, my fingers already working on the buttons of his dress shirt.

  “Ellie,” he murmurs, a warning in his tone. “I can’t pretend I don’t want this, so if you’re looking for me to be the noble guy . . . if you’re thinking we can take this further than we have and I’ll step aside for Colton if he comes back, you’re wrong.”

  “Good to know,” I say. “I don’t have any idea why I would have walked away from you.” I release the last button on his shirt, then move to the buttons on his pants. “But I’m here now.” I drop to my knees before him. “And I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

  Levi

  On her knees, Ellie slides my pants and briefs down my hips. Her gaze goes straight to my cock, and the little noise that slips from her throat makes me even harder. I’m so fucking turned on that I’ll have to fight like hell not to come the second she puts her mouth on me.

  She runs the tip of her tongue along the underside of my dick, and I lean against the wall to get my balance. When she looks up at me through her lashes, she licks her lips. “I dreamed about this.”

  “You too, huh?” I grin, trying to hold on to my control when everything inside me wants to turn caveman and make demands.

  She circles her thumb over the head of my cock, spreading out the bead of moisture there and sending shivers of pleasure racing across my skin. “Have I ever . . . for you?”

  “No.” One word. One syllable. But I’m so fucking desperate that I can’t even get that much out without breaking it into two. “It was only that night. That once.”

  “I want to.” Without another word, she takes me in her mouth. She doesn’t hesitate to pull me deep. The pleasure is intense, and I have to bite back a groan.

  I slide a hand into her hair, needing to touch her, to reassure myself that this is more than some epic, vivid fantasy. She’s real. She wants me. “You’re beautiful like that.”

  She grips my ass, her fingernails biting into the flesh as if pleasure is throwing her off balance too and she needs to hold on as desperately as I do.

  My gaze glued to the sight of her mouth moving up and down my shaft, I take her hand and squeeze her fingers. “Put this one between your legs. Touch yourself for me.” The command is gruff, but she gasps around my cock, shooting pleasure up my spine as she obeys. She parts her thighs and slides her hand up her dress, slipping it between her legs.

  I’m jealous. I want to feel what she’s feeling. I want her slick heat on my fingers, her aching sex rocking against my hand. She moans against my cock, and another bolt of pleasure rolls over me.

  I grit my teeth, determined to hold on. I’m not going to rush this. I love the way she uses her tongue on me, the way she pulls back and then draws me deep again, letting me fuck her mouth. But most of all, I love the pleasure on her face, and the sound of her needy little moans against my dick as she rubs herself between her legs.

  I tug lightly on her hair, and she sucks me harder, so I do it again. “Slide two fingers inside that pussy, baby. Fuck yourself with your hand. I need you to come.” I’m breathless, my words choppy because I’m so close and trying to hold on. “Come for me.”

  Her eyes close, her hips jerk, and she comes on a jagged moan that vibrates all the way down my spine to the base of my shaft. She’s fucking her hand with abandon, riding the waves of her orgasm while she sucks my cock into her throat. My control snaps with a violent jerk of my hips. I come hard into her mouth, my hand still wrapped tight in her hair and keeping her exactly where I want her as I ride out my own pleasure.

  She swallows around me with a whimpering moan, and I pull back, drawing her to her feet. Her cheeks are flushed, her lips swollen from taking me in. “Are you okay?”

  She grins. “More than okay.”

  I stroke her cheek with my thumb. I wish I could take a thousand pictures of her like this. I never want to forget. “Not too rough?”

  “It was perfect.” She skims her fingertips over my jaw. “You don’t have to be gentle with me, Levi. I’m not fragile.”

  Christ. I’m getting hard again. “You looked so fucking hot like that.”

  “You liked seeing me on my knees?”

  My nostrils flare. “I liked seeing you touch yourself. Seeing pleasure on your face while you sucked my cock?” I shake my head. “Liked isn’t a strong enough word.” I take the hand that was between her legs and draw her first two fingers into my mouth, sucking off the taste of her until she gasps. “I could get off on that image every fucking day.”

  I pick her up and sit her on Jake’s desk, desperate for more of what I sampled from her fingers. I’m vaguely aware of the sounds of the waitstaff on the other side of the door, but the only thing that matters is her. Her dress is bunched around her hips, and I tug on the stretchy fabric. She lifts her arms as I pull it off over her head.

  When I cup her between her legs, she gasps and rocks against me. I stroke her through her panties, loving the way her hips move into my hand as she seeks the pressure she needs.

  I kiss my way down her neck, across her collarbone, and down to her cleavage. I nuzzle my face between her breasts and groan. I’m already impossibly hard again. “You smell so fucking good. Like flowery soap and sex.” I dip my head low and suck her nipple hard through the sheer black fabric of her bra.

  Gasping, she slides a hand into my hair, holding me there, silently begging for more. I suck harder, and she moans. She reaches behind herself to release the clasp of her bra and expose her breasts to my mouth. I pull back to take in the sight of her with her nipples hard and my hand between her legs.

  So fucking beautiful.

  “I’m dying to touch you. To taste you. To explore you with my tongue until you’re fucking my face.” I yank down her panties and toss them to the side. “You do something to me, Ellie. I need to make you come so hard you feel just how much you own me.” I wait a beat, my eyes locked on hers.

  “You own me too,” she whispers. “I want you, Levi.”

  I lower my head back to her breasts, kissing one then the other before kissing my way down her body.

  I nuzzle her between her legs, and s
he lifts her hips off the desk with a gasp. I use both hands to spread her wide before lowering my mouth to her sweet, pink center and exploring her with my tongue. Her body trembles under me, a shuddering tremor of pleasure that makes me hungry for more. I want to taste every inch of her, to strip away her fears and expose the lust she’s teased me with. I want to free her from the stress and heartache of the last few weeks, even if it’s only for a short time.

  I dip my tongue inside her and think I might lose my mind with desire. The crescendo of her moans only makes me crave more as I taste her, as I pleasure her, as I lead her to release. I lick and suck. I tease with my tongue against her clit before turning my face to nibble at her inner thighs. I slide my fingers inside her, and her sex squeezes so hot and tight that I could come again. Right here—just from the sound of her moans and the taste of her on my tongue.

  I curl my fingers inside her and press as deeply as her body will allow, then I suck on her clit as I pump my fingers in and out, relishing her little pants, her moans, her desperate pleas of more and oh God and yes.

  “I want you inside me,” she begs, her words breathy, her body jerking in desperation.

  Keeping a hand between her legs, I stand and prepare myself to decline when I want nothing more to feel her wrapped around me. “I don’t have a condom, sweetheart.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill and I . . .” She’s teetering on the edge of release. “Please? I want to come with you inside me.”

  “How am I supposed to say no to that?”

  She looks at me through lust-fogged eyes. “You’re not.”

  Positioning myself in front of her, I guide her hips to the edge of the desk and drive into her. The moment I’m buried deep inside her, she comes hard in a spasm of clenching muscles and bucking hips.

  She closes her eyes. “It feels so good like this, Levi. I don’t want you to stop.” Her words, her body, everything—it heats my blood and makes me crazy with need.

  I retreat almost all the way before sliding deep again. She pushes up on her hands to watch where our bodies are joined. She watches me fuck her—in and out, in long, slow strokes, then faster. It’s so good. Better than anything I’ve ever—