Unintentional Virgin

by A. J. Bennett

  Karma swallowed hard and then managed to get out. “Hey.” Real smooth.

  “Hey yourself.”

  “Let him in, Karma,” her father yelled from the living room.

  Oh yeah, I guess that would be nice to let him in. Sometimes just seeing him made her forget what she was going to say. “Come on in. I just have to grab my things.”

  Jax wandered into the living room while she ran up the stairs two at a time to grab her bag.

  When Karma came back down Jax was sitting on the sofa talking to her dads, and they appeared to be having a good time. It was nice to see. Jax seemed completely at ease around them. She almost hated to interrupt them. Almost.

  “You ready?” Karma asked, shifting the weight on her feet. She was nervous as hell. Nervous about being alone with Jax and certainly nervous about the potential of dying while jumping off a bridge. What kind of rational person thinks that sounds fun? What kind of rational person agrees to it because of a stupid list? Obviously she was not a rational person.

  Jax stood up and crossed the room. She loved the way he looked at her. As if she was the only person on earth.

  “Jax,” her dad called and Jax turned toward him. “Would you mind taking my phone number? You know, in case anything goes wrong today.”

  “Of course. But you really don’t have to worry. It’s perfectly safe.”

  “Right,” her father said. He looked like he was going to say more but stopped himself. Karma was grateful. The last thing she needed was her dad to go into some lecture about the safety issues. She was already terrified without hearing about accidents or deaths. And it’s not like she was a little kid anymore.

  Jax rattled off his number and her dad jotted it down on a piece of paper.

  Finally, they were able to slip out of the house.

  “Are you nervous?” Jax asked once they took off down the road.

  “Me? Nervous?” Karma forced a laugh. “Nervous as hell,” she said truthfully.

  “You’ll be fine. And you’ll probably want to go again.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that.” Karma scooted over to the middle of the truck’s seat. Jax didn’t seem to mind. A shot of electricity ran up her leg when her thigh brushed his. Hopefully, it was going to be a very long drive.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jax looked down at her leg pressed against his and found himself wishing for the hundredth time that he hadn’t come up with the three-week rule. He knew it was the right thing to do, but the right thing was seldom the easiest thing to do. Temptation was a royal bitch. Now he knew how Eve must have felt in the Garden of Eden.

  He should tell her to get back near the window, but he liked having her so close to him. The heat of her thigh against his felt right. Like she belonged by his side. He kept his hands gripped around the steering wheel, willing himself not to reach out and touch her. When what he really wanted to do was place his hand on her thigh or pull his damn truck over in a secluded area and press his body to hers. He wanted to run his hands up and down her body and place his lips on her sweet skin. Jesus. Jax gripped the steering wheel tighter until his knuckles whitened.

  He looked down at the speedometer and realized he was speeding. He let off the gas and tried to clear his mind. Just the mental images alone left his heart racing.

  Karma reached down, pressing her leg a little firmer against his, and turned up the radio. Jax couldn’t help but smile when she started singing along to some country song. She was completely out of tune, moving awkwardly to the music. Karma was nothing like the girls he usually dated, which was refreshing. He couldn’t recall the last time he felt this happy and this at ease with anyone. He didn’t know what he did to deserve to cross paths with this girl, but he sure as hell was glad he did.

  When the song was over Karma turned down the music and asked how much longer.

  Jack looked at the clock on the dashboard. “Still another couple of hours.”

  “Works for me, I’m not in a rush.” Karma leaned her head against his shoulder, and he stiffened. The stray strands of her hair tickled his neck and her unique scent was driving him crazy.

  Another song came on and she lifted her head, singing again. His body relaxed.

  “How many times have you done this?” Karma asked, her head still moving to the music.

  “Bungee jump? Three times.”

  “Really?” She crinkled up her nose and looked adorable.

  “Yeah, a buddy of mine’s addicted; he travels around going to different locations.”

  “That sounds unhealthy.”

  Jax laughed loudly. “You’re one to talk, look at your list. It’s like you have a death wish or something.”

  “Hardly,” Karma said as she stopped dancing, and Jax caught a pained look flash across her face before his eyes went back to the road.

  “I was just kidding,” Jax said, hoping she would continue with the conversation.

  Karma looked out the window and spoke so softy Jax had to strain to hear. “I guess I used to have a death wish, but not anymore. I tried to kill myself once.”

  He reached over and turned off the radio. That was the last thing he had expected her to say. “Why?” he asked as he pulled the truck over to the side of the road and came to a stop.

  She didn’t turn in his direction, just kept staring out the window. “I was young, almost fourteen.”

  “What happened?”

  Karma turned back and met his eyes. “I failed.”

  “I mean what happened to make you want to take your own life?”

  “I really don’t know. Probably just the usual teenage angst, hormones out of balance or something. I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere. My mother always made me feel inadequate. She got worse when I started to develop. I wasn’t turning into the beautiful swan she had hoped for. Plus, people were always making fun of me because of my name and my father. It was stupid really. There wasn’t one thing, it was just an accumulation of a lot of things. I guess. I swallowed a bottle of pills, but my father came home early from work and found me passed out. Rushed me to the hospital.”

  Jax sat in silence. What the hell could he say to that? He couldn’t for the life of him grasp why someone would want to end their own life. There was always something to live for, even if it was pizza or the sight of a sunrise.

  “I’m glad you failed,” he said, his voice gruff.

  “Me too.” Karma smiled. “I can’t believe I even told you that. The only people that know are my parents and my therapist. Maybe it’s because you took me to your special place. I wanted to tell you something about me that no one else knows.”

  Jax reached over and grabbed her hand, running his thumb along her smooth skin. “Thank you.”

  Karma shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know how you do it, Jax.”

  “Do what?”

  “Make me feel like I’m normal.”

  “I don’t think you’re normal,” Jax said, squeezing her hand.

  “You think I’m crazy?” There was a catch in her voice.

  “No, I think you’re incredible. I’ve never met anyone like you before and I’m sure I never will again. If you could see yourself the way I do you would never doubt yourself again.”

  Karma looked up at him and blinked her eyes, swallowing as if she was pushing back tears. Great, he didn’t want her to cry.

  “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She laid her head back down on his shoulder.

  Jax wanted to wrap her in his arms and show her just how incredible she was, but instead he pulled back onto the road and kept her hand firmly in his for the rest of the drive.

  “Do you want to eat before or after?” Jax asked as they got closer to the location.

  Karma looked thoughtful. “Let’s go with after. Last thing I want is to get sick in front of everyone.”

  Jax laughed. “Probably a good idea.”

  They walked toward the little shack to buy tickets. Karma’s steps faltered, and Jax looked over a
t her. Her already pale skin took on a ghostly hue. “You sure you’re ready for this?”

  She shook her head, rubbing her temples. “No, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”

  “You’ll do fine. I know you can do it,” Jax said, reassuring her. If there was one thing he learned being a fireman it was how to calm people down when they were panicked. And there was definitely panic in her stunning gray eyes.

  “I don’t know if I can do it,” Karma said, looking down at the ground.

  “Yes, you can.” He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Look at me.”

  Her hesitant eyes met his steady gaze. “It’s a good thing to face your fears, and I’ll be with you the whole time.”

  “Can we go together?” Karma asked with a hint of hope in her voice.

  Crap; he’d said the wrong thing. “I wish. But I’ll be standing there when you go down and when you get back up. You can do this, Karma. And you’ll feel so proud of yourself once it’s done.”

  She shot him a “yeah right” look.

  “I’m serious. Trust me.”

  “Okay,” she said, meeting his eyes and squaring her shoulders. “All morning I’ve been repeating in my head that countless others have done it and I can do it too.”

  His hands slid down her arms and grabbed her hands. “That’s right. I’ll go first, okay?”

  Karma nodded and then changed her mind. “No, I’ll go first. I want to get it over with.”

  “That’s my girl!” Jax threw his arm around her, paid for the tickets, and they walked over toward the instructors.

  There were ten other people before them, which Jax was glad about. Maybe if she witnessed all the others retuning safely it would put her mind at ease.

  When it was her turn to go, Karma looked at Jax and said, “Why the hell am I jumping off a bridge again?”

  “Bucket list.” Jax leaned down and cupped her face between his hands and gave her a brief but thorough kiss. “You got this.”

  She took a deep breath and blew it out as the instructor secured her and another came over and double checked.

  “You okay? You’re looking a little green,” one of the guys said.

  “I think so. No one has died here, right?” Karma asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, but her face said she was half serious.

  “Not yet.” The instructor winked.

  “Oh God.” Karma closed her eyes.

  “Hey, you can do this,” Jax said softly, and Karma opened her eyes and nodded her head. The look of fear upon her face was hard for him to see. He wanted to throw her over his shoulder and take her away from anything that made her uncomfortable. But he knew she had to do this. It had to be important to make it on her list. He’d hate for her to back out now.

  “I’m ready,” Karma said. Her voice trembled a bit, betraying her fear. She tried to manage a brave smile, which failed miserably.

  Jax pulled out his phone. He wanted to take her mind off the fear for a minute. “Smile, I promised your dad a pic.”

  “Seriously?” Karma said and then flashed a fake smile. Jax snapped the pic.

  The instructor helped her to the top and she stood on the edge. Jax could see her legs shaking. Karma turned and looked at him and he gave her a thumbs up and smiled.

  “On the count of three, dive. One, two, three!”

  Karma didn’t move; she was frozen in place. She tried to calm herself. Ever fiber in her body was telling her to flee.

  The two instructors glanced at each other. “Do you want to back out?”

  “No.” She again turned slightly to see Jax. “Can I tell him something first?”

  “Sure. Make it quick, though, we’ve got a long line after you.”

  Jax wondered what in the world she had to tell him that was so important.

  “Jax, I never had a bucket list, I have no idea why I told you that when I was drunk. And I’m terrified of heights. This is the last thing in the world I want to be doing right now, but if I have to do it I’m glad it’s with you.” And then she held her arms out, counted to three out loud, and dove.

  Jax was stunned. She lied about the bucket list? He looked over the edge and saw her bounce back up. He laughed. This girl really was something else. What a wonderful mix of strength and vulnerability she possessed.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Holy shit! This is the end,” Karma thought as she dove off the bridge, and the water came rushing toward her. Adrenaline flooded her veins, and her heart felt like it would jump right out of her chest. She felt like she was flying. Flying in the sense that she was like a rocket about to crash into the water. Her heart was in her throat. She really was going to die a virgin. What the hell had she been thinking telling Jax she never had a bucket list? He was probably never going to talk to her again. Just then the rope came to an abrupt stop, and she bounced up and down like a damn yo-yo. Her stomach was in knots, and her head was spinning.

  All she wanted to do was get back to the top and onto the lovely safe ground. She looked around and took in the beauty; it was really breathtaking. Seeing the natural beauty this way was surreal. The cool breeze felt incredible against her cheeks as she continued to bounce up and down, suspended in the air. And then the realization hit her she had jumped off an effing bridge, and she was still alive. Holy mother fucker! She did it! Karma’s manic laugh echoed. Next thing she knew someone was pulling her up. It happened so quickly. They unattached the harness and Karma took a couple of steps forward on shaky legs. She was surprised to find herself sad the view was gone.

  Jax stood there waiting for her. He didn’t look angry, he looked—proud. He held out his arms and Karma flung herself into them. When he wrapped them tightly around her she had never felt more secure in her life. Which made absolutely no sense seeing as she’d just jumped off a bridge like a lunatic.

  “I’m alive,” she managed to choke out.

  “You’re alive,” Jax agreed, running his hand through her hair.

  “You were right. It was stunning.”

  “Come on, man. You’re holding up the line,” the instructor hollered.

  “Let someone else go before me then,” Jax said without turning.

  “You did amazing,” he said, looking down at her. Karma’s heart was beating a mile a minute, not from the jump but from being so close to Jax. Whenever he was near she got lost in him.

  “I wouldn’t have done it without you.”

  “I can’t believe you never had a list,” Jax said, looking at her intently.

  Was he angry? He didn’t look angry, but his expression was kinda unreadable.

  Karma started rambling. “You were so cute with the dates ideas. I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I said I had the silly list to begin with. Please make me stop talking. Are you mad at me?”

  “Well, it has made things interesting. And no, I’m not mad. Surprised and a bit confused but not angry.” Jax tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

  Karma pulled back to look him in the eyes. “I just want you to know I don’t make a habit of lying. I was drunk. And I don’t make a habit of getting drunk either. It’s important to me that you understand that.”

  “I believe you. I just can’t believe you jumped off a bridge when you really didn’t want to.” Jax shook his head with his crooked grin.

  “Me either, but I’m glad I did. And I know this sounds crazy, but I want to continue with the list. You’re right, I need to face my fears. That was scary as fuck, but also very liberating. I was flying, Jax.” The feelings that were racing through her body were intense and unexplainable, but she felt amazing.

  Jax’s warm hand lay against her face, and his thumb moved gently across her cheek bone before he bent down and lightly pressed his lips to hers. Karma parted her lips and caressed his throat with her fingertips, enjoying the warmth of his skin. Jax kissed her so deeply she felt consumed by him. He coiled his arm around her waist and drew her closer. The world seemed to spin b
eneath her. In the background, she heard someone make a loud catcall and someone else mumbled get a room. But she didn’t care. She would have stood there kissing him all day and night. Nothing had ever felt so right in her life.

  When Jax pulled away a sense of loss flooded her body. She wanted to scream no don’t stop. Please don’t stop.

  Her eyes fluttered open and Jax stared down at her, his face flushed and his eyes bright. “We gotta stop doing that.” He dropped his hands from her waist.

  “Don’t say that.” Her voice sounded hoarse to her own ears.

  “We had an agreement.”

  “Your agreement. Can’t we renegotiate the terms?” Karma pleaded.

  Jax threw back his head and laughed. “As tempting as that sounds. I’m intent on seeing this through to the end. We haven’t even made it a week yet.”

  Karma’s heart dropped at the words the end. That’s exactly what was going to happen. They were going to have three amazing weeks, and then never see each other again. Just the thought of it made her feel ill.

  “Hey, man, are you going or what?” one of the guys yelled over.

  Jax looked down at Karma. “Guess it’s my turn.”

  She nodded. “See you on the flip side.”

  Jax grinned and trotted back to the guy. Karma watched as he got strapped in and her heart felt like it went over the bridge with him. She was more afraid he wasn’t going to come back up than she had been about her own self. Relief washed over her when she saw him bounce back up. He was hooting and hollering. Karma stood there grinning like a fool when he came back toward her. He’s mine, she thought and then wondered where the hell those words came from. He was far from hers. Okay, well he was hers—for a couple more weeks anyway.

  She threw her arms around him, and he spun her around. Karma squealed with delight. Best day of her life.

  Just as they were getting ready to leave Jax pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Your dad insisted on a pic of us together.” He held his arm back and placed his head next to hers and snapped the pic.