The Devil Between Us

by S. C. Wilson

  “Hey, it’s not every day you turn twenty-one. I’m glad you like it. I almost bought you a pocket watch instead. But my gut said you’d like this better.”

  Jesse leaned over and nudged Abby’s shoulder with her own. “I’m glad you went with your gut.”

  Even though it was a special day, a sense of sadness still loomed in the air. After eating, they took their seats out on the old stump chairs, coffee cups in hand. With chirping birds and running water from the nearby stream playing in the background, they sat silently enjoying their surroundings; watching as two squirrels battled over an acorn on their last morning together atop Mount Perish.

  Jesse broke the silence. “I need to get the horses ready.”

  “Give me your cup, and I’ll do the dishes,” Abby said, reaching out her hand. Jesse went to the paddock while Abby straightened up inside. She took comfort in knowing Jesse would at least have a clean cabin to come home to.

  Jesse got the horses saddled and ready before returning to the cabin. She noticed immediately Abby had tidied up the place. Then it struck her. She bit her bottom lip, her hand on her stomach. It wasn’t because things were put in places where they didn’t belong. It was because Abby felt she had to do it.

  Jesse understood in that moment why Abby liked things somewhat disorganized. She was fighting back, in her way, against the husband and institution that had held her prisoner for so long. Jesse cleared the lump from her throat. “You didn’t need to do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Straighten up in here. I’m not like your—you just didn’t need to do that.”

  “You are nothing like him. Not even close. For him it was all about control. I want to do things for you. There’s a big difference.” Abby caught crumbs in a cupped hand as she wiped down the table from the morning meal. She looked up at Jesse. “I’m really going to miss being here with you.”

  “I’m going to miss having you around. It won’t be the same without you.”

  “Well, maybe you’ll invite me back some day.” Abby tossed the crumbs out the open door.

  “I’d like that very much. Thank you for all your help. Are you ready to go?” Jesse didn’t want to delay the inevitable any longer.

  “You are more than welcome, and I suppose so,” Abby said. She took one last, longing look around, trying to commit every detail to memory.

  Jesse helped Abby mount Titan. Swinging up onto her own horse, she asked, “Hey, Abs, want to play a game on the way down?”

  “What’d you have in mind?”

  “You take the lead. Let’s see if you can find the way. Just for fun.”

  “All right. I bet I can do it,” said Abby, confident.

  “Remember to look for the landmarks I showed you on the way here. Tell you what, if you get all the way down without needing my help, I’ll buy you dinner at the Tin Plate.”

  “You got yourself a deal, and if I can’t do it, then dinner is on me.”

  “You’re on.”

  Jesse hoped the little game would help take their minds off of last night. A palpable tension had been growing between them all morning, but neither was ready or willing to bring it up. They both knew they should discuss it. Somehow, not talking about it made it more provocative.

  The trail became too narrow for them to ride side-by-side. Jesse’s mind drifted. She could hear Abby chatting away about what a wonderful time she’d had, and how she couldn’t wait to come back. Jesse saw and heard everything. Her mind was somewhere else altogether: back beside the fire, beneath a starry night sky, Abby more beautiful than ever, exposed and vulnerable beneath her. The recollection, along with the sight of Abby feet ahead of her, the swaying motion of her hips matching the movement of the horse, was enough to drive Jesse crazy.

  She forced herself to snap out of it. “It’s so easy to get lost out here. Just one wrong turn could be deadly. You have to pay attention to every little detail.”

  “I can’t imagine getting lost out here, all alone,” Abby said. It was a terrifying thought, but she wasn’t concerned since Jesse was by her side.

  Having made the trip so many times, Jesse tried to break the monotony. “Abs, will you sing me one of your songs?”

  “What would you like me to sing?”

  “I don’t care. You pick.”

  With no barriers, Abby’s voice carried unimpeded. Still emotional from last night's encounter, Jesse was rocked to her core. A passion she had never imagined overcame her. Should Abby have turned at that moment, she would have seen Jesse moved to tears.

  Abby struggled several times along the way to figure out the correct course. Jesse held her tongue, confident her silence would give Abby the time she needed. Once again, Jesse was impressed with Abby’s bold determination.

  Dusk had become their favorite time of day. It gave them intimate time together. They would curl up under the deerskin, and talk late into the night, enjoying each other’s company and warmth.

  Every morning, Abby would relish Jesse’s body spooning hers as she woke. She would lay completely still, not because she didn’t want to wake Jesse, but because she loved lying there in the embrace. Besides, Jesse was up long before Abby, and she too chose to lay there without moving a muscle. Holding Abby was one of the best feelings Jesse had ever known.

  By the river crossing, before they rode into Ely on their last day, Abby stood next to Titan as Jesse began to saddle the horse. Abby pulled out one of her dresses from the saddlebag and began to change her clothes. Jesse stood on the other side of the horse, listening as Abby spoke.

  “It’s kind of strange,” Abby said, slipping her dress over her head, “wearing a dress makes me feel pretty again. Not that I didn’t like wearing your clothes. I couldn’t have imagined doing all that work in this.” She glanced down at her dress.

  “Abs, you never stopped being pretty. I’m just glad I never got rid of ‘em.”

  “You hold on to these. I’ll want them back the next time you invite me up.”

  When she made it to the opposite bank, she wanted nothing more than to collapse.

  They finally rode into Ely late in the afternoon. “I know you’re probably hungry,” Abby said, “but I really could use a rest.”

  “I’m more tired than hungry myself. How about we meet up later at the Tin Plate? I owe you a dinner. Say, around seven?”

  Abby leaned in her saddle and placed her hand on Jesse’s leg. “That would be lovely. I’ll see you then.”

  They parted ways. Abby headed to The Foxtail and Jesse to the hotel.

  Riding up to the barn, Jesse was greeted by Edith. “Hey, Jesse. Where’s Abby?”

  “She’s at the saloon.”

  “Well, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go get some rest and we can catch up later?” Edith took hold of Buck’s reins.

  “All right. Can you do me a favor? I’m meeting Abby at seven for dinner, so please don’t let me oversleep.”

  Edith nodded. “I’ll put Buck in the stall. You go on in, same room as usual. I’ll wake you later.”

  “Thanks, Edith.” As Edith led Buck into the barn, Jesse went straight to her room. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  Jesse woke to Edith knocking on her door. She’d only slept a couple hours, but was eager to get to the Tin Plate. I can’t imagine how my life will ever be the same when I get home. To go month after month without seeing her—it seems like an eternity. Spending another year alone on top of the mountain concerned Jesse greatly. Part of her wished she had never met Abby. Life would have been much easier without all these new emotions.

  Jesse washed up quickly and headed to the Tin Plate. She saw Abby through the window, already seated. Jesse paused only long enough to remove her hat before taking a seat. “Did you see Sam?” Jesse asked guilelessly, the question weighing heavily on her mind.

  Abby looked a little startled. “Uh. No. He…uh. He’s in New York on business. Should be back next week.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I’m sure
you’ve missed him,” Jesse said, though she felt somewhat relieved.

  “Are you being sarcastic?” Abby’s eyes narrowed.

  Now it was Jesse’s turn to be surprised. “No. Why should I be?”

  “I just thought you might be a little jealous. Well. Are you?” Abby’s tone was sharper than usual, perhaps a little challenging.

  “Maybe I am. A little,” Jesse said, far more jealous than she was willing to admit.

  Abby sighed and seemed to deflate a little bit. “Well, don’t be. I’m not going to be seeing him anymore. Being with you made me realize he is not the one for me. Not that I’m giving up on love. I just know that he doesn’t come close to making me feel the way I do when I’m around you. If I can’t be with you, then I want to find someone who can make me feel that way. Wouldn’t be fair to him if I couldn’t return his feelings.” Abby paused. She looked deep into Jesse’s eyes. “Jesse, I have had the time of my life with you. I’m really going to miss you.”

  “I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed you being there. It won’t be the same without you.” Some of Jesse’s despair crept out, unbidden, in her voice.

  Abby noticed. She sat straight up and changed the subject. “Hey. I have some good news and some bad news. You still want to come watch me sing tomorrow night?”

  “Definitely,” Jesse said before hearing the bad news.

  “Well, I know you’re probably not going to like this, but we’d have to go to Granite Falls. Lemuel and the girls are there now, and they won’t be coming back to Ely until late next week.”

  “Lemuel?”

  Abby nodded. “The pianist who plays for me. I know you’re probably tired of riding. We’d have to leave tomorrow afternoon if we want to make it to Granite Falls tomorrow night. We can spend the night there. Or we can just stay here. We don’t have to go.”

  Jesse heard herself speak, her own voice far away. “I want to go. I’d go anywhere to hear you.” Of all the places Abby could sing, why did it have to be in Granite Falls? Her breath caught. If she hadn’t already committed to go, she would have found an excuse to get out of it. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she feared. Besides, what happened in Granite Falls was a long time ago. Surely she had to be better equipped to deal with it as an adult.

  A soft hand covered her own on the table, startling Jesse from her wandering thoughts. “Hey, is everything all right?” Abby asked, worry in her voice.

  “Uh, yeah. Sorry.” Jesse grinned somewhat sheepishly. “I guess I’m more tired than I realized.”

  “Look, you have been taking care of me, so now let me take care of you. I’m going to pack us a picnic tomorrow. We can stop at the waterfall since it’s not far from Granite Falls. We can have a quiet dinner, just the two of us. You get a good night's sleep, and tomorrow we’ll get a fresh start.”

  Don’t be stupid. You have nothing to worry about. But if she asks you to look at a fish in the river, get the hell out of there. Jesse smiled inwardly as the thought crept into her mind. “I’ll be ready.”

  After saying goodnight, the two went their separate ways again, both wishing they were heading to the same room.

  After a restless night, Jesse decided she might as well get up and face what lay ahead. After all these years, she was going to her hometown. She saddled Buck, speaking to him softly, trying to quiet her growing anxiety. This calming ritual between horse and rider did nothing to soothe the ages-old wound about to be ripped wide open.

  Abby hoped Jesse’s silence during the two and a half hour ride to the waterfall was due to fatigue.

  Jesse was grateful Abby didn’t pressure her into talking.

  As they ate, it was obvious something was bothering Jesse. Abby had to know what it was. “Jesse, what’s wrong? It’s like you’re here, but you’re not.”

  “I’m sorry. Nothing is wrong. I just feel a little off.”

  “I hope you aren’t coming down with something.”

  “No. I’ll be fine,” Jesse said to assure her. “Don’t worry.”

  “All right. But you let me know if I can do anything.”

  “I will.” Jesse desperately wanted to change the subject. “That was very good. You’re quite the cook.”

  “I’m glad you liked it. Why don’t you come lay here beside me and relax.”

  They stretched out on the blanket, hand in hand, watching as the billowy clouds did their lazy dance across the sky.

  “That one looks like a duck,” Abby said, pointing, trying to rouse Jesse from her stupor with their familiar game.

  Jesse lay silent, overwhelmed with thoughts of Granite Falls.

  Abby did her best to get Jesse’s attention with the game, or at least to jolt her out of the mood she had fallen into. She couldn’t get through. Defeated, Abby stood. “Well, we should get going,” she said. “I need to be there soon so I can start getting ready.”

  Once in Granite Falls, Jesse’s anxiety grew to an all-time high. She dismounted behind the Rowdy Rabbit and helped Abby down from her horse.

  “We can keep the horses in here for the night,” Abby said, leading Titan into the barn.

  Jesse stood still, rooted in place.

  Abby asked, “Aren’t you coming?”

  “If it’s all right with you, I think I’m going to check out the town while you’re getting ready.”

  Abby could tell by Jesse’s expression the ride had done nothing to bridge the distance growing between them. She hoped a look around would lighten Jesse’s mood.

  “That’s fine, but just don’t be too long. When I sing tonight, I will be singing just for you, Jesse McGinnis.”

  Jesse nodded, helped put Titan in a stall, and waited until Abby was inside the saloon before riding away. She made her way slowly through the town. She was surprised to find some businesses still looked the same, even after all those years. The storefront of Carlson’s General Store was exactly as she remembered, save for the writing on the window, now declaring it Granite Falls Mercantile.

  Doc Tilson was unmistakable, sitting on his porch, hat slightly back, cigar held loosely between the second and third fingers of his left hand. Both tipped their hats at each other as she passed. Although some things remained the same, many others had changed considerably over the intervening years. Quite a few new buildings dotted the skyline. In fact, the town had changed so much it was not at all like the one she had etched in her memory.

  Good sense told her to stay away from the old homestead. During the ride from Ely to Granite Falls she had fought an inner battle, finally coming to the conclusion nothing good could come from visiting her childhood home. Now, curiosity was getting the better of her. She rode out of town, an internal compass taking over as if she had made the trip yesterday. The closer she got to her old home, the faster her pulse raced.

  Her knotted stomach clenched tighter still as they got closer. “Whoa, boy,” she said, slowing Buck to a trot.

  She scanned the horizon. Something was wrong. It took her a minute to realize what it was. Remnants of the stone fireplace still stood, but there was no house for it to warm. She struggled to process the information. She wasn’t sure why, because she knew there had been a fire. It was a shock to ride up to such a familiar place and not see her house. The roof of the old barn had caved in from years of neglect.

  An unexpected, almost unbearable pain shot through her when she saw the tall oak in the yard. She jumped from her horse and walked over to the tree, using it to steady herself as a new wave of emotion washed over her. With her slender fingers clinging to the rough bark, she could almost hear the laughter floating down from the branches above. How many hours did Toby and I spend climbing this tree? She smiled at the memory.

  When she regained some of her composure, she walked over to the spot where the house used to stand. It was nothing but rubble now. Charred pieces of wood peeked out from grass, struggling to grow in scraggly patches. The flood of memories overwhelmed her. She saw her mother’s sweet face, inevitably followed, as usual, by the s
ounds of her screams. Jesse dropped to her knees and vomited violently, over and over, until there was nothing left to purge.

  Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she took a long, slow breath and rose to her feet, once more in control of her emotions. She walked the short distance to the creek to rinse her mouth. It used to take her so long to carry buckets of water from the creek to the house. The memory brought on a fresh round of tears. For a moment, she was ten years old again.

  Jesse was rooted in place by memories so vivid she felt she could reach out and touch them. She could visualize her entire family, moving around the old homestead, right in front of her. It all broke through. She allowed the little girl inside of her to cry until there were no more tears to shed.

  Jesse didn’t want to be this person she had become. She was proud of her family, who she was, where she came from. She was sick of hiding her true identity. I’m telling her tonight. If she never wants to see me again, well, I’ll have to learn to live with it. I’ve lived through worse. No more lies.

  Mind made up, she took one last drink from the creek and splashed water on her face. Jessica Pratt walked the old path one last time from the creek to what was once her home. She shivered in the fading sunlight. Whether it was from the loss of the sun’s warmth or from the stress of being there again, she couldn’t stop. Jesse donned the buckskin coat from her saddlebag and hoisted herself onto Buck.

  With a quick, “Let’s go, boy”, she headed back to Abby without a backwards glance.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Night had fallen by the time Jesse made it back to Granite Falls. Later than she had intended, she hurried to tie Buck up out front of the Rowdy Rabbit. The lack of song emanating from the place worried her. Did I miss it?

  A commotion down the street caught her attention and kept her from hustling inside. A group of boys were picking on a man who clearly lacked the mental ability to defend himself. One of the boys tripped the man, causing him to fall to the ground. They swarmed around their fallen victim, chanting “Ta-ta-ta-ta-tard.”