‘Obviously, you’re a paid-up member of the stiff-upper-lip brigade.’
He kept his tone light mainly because he didn’t want to make an issue out of it. He also didn’t want to make a fool of himself if by any chance he was wrong about some tragedy having shaped her life, although recalling what she’d told him about her fiancé dying maybe he already had his answer. Perhaps Heather preferred to keep her distance because she was still grieving for the man she’d loved?
The thought was so painful that Ross’s hands clenched. He couldn’t bear to think that Heather was still in love with the guy after all this time, and yet what could he do about it? What right did he have to try? Surely he should respect her feelings?
It was hard to deal with the sheer number of questions that rattled around inside his head so Ross didn’t try. Maybe he was guilty of burying his head in the sand but he needed to find out more before he decided what to do. He finished his coffee then looked at Heather.
‘If you’ve finished, I’ll drive you home.’
‘There’s no need,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m perfectly fine now so I can catch the tube as I always do. Anyway, I’m not ready to leave just yet. I need to check that everything is all right in A and E before I can go home.’
‘That’s OK. There’s no rush.’
Ross leant back in his chair and folded his arms. It was obvious that Heather didn’t want him driving her home but there was no way he was prepared to let her make the journey by tube after the stressful day she’d had. He wouldn’t have a moment’s peace unless he knew she’d got home safely.
‘I’ve nothing planned, apart from a date with a microwave dinner. You certainly won’t be ruining my evening if that’s what’s worrying you.’
He could tell that she was searching for another excuse to turn him down and settled back to hear what she would come up with this time. He glanced around the coffee-shop and realised that the place had started to fill up. Evening visiting would be starting shortly and there were a number of people having a break before they went to see their friends and relatives. There were even some members of staff seated at a table by the door. Ross saw one of the women glance at them then whisper something to her companions.
Heather must have noticed the group turning to look at them because Ross saw a tide of colour run up her face. It was clear how uncomfortable she felt about them attracting so much attention. She quickly pushed back her chair, obviously deciding that accepting his offer might be the lesser of two evils. ‘I won’t be long.’
‘Take all the time you need. I’ll wait here for you.’ Ross treated her to a smile, although he couldn’t help wondering if he’d been right to force her hand as he watched her leaving the coffee-shop. Perhaps he should have accepted her refusal rather than put her in such an awkward position.
He sighed. He was used to making on-the-spot decisions in his job and never doubting they were the right ones, too, but recently he’d found himself examining everything he did. Life had been so simple before he’d met Heather but he didn’t regret it. It was as though he’d been only half-alive before she had appeared on the scene. It would be wonderful to think that one day Heather might come to feel the same way he did, but there was no point deluding himself. If her heart still belonged to another man then there was nothing left for him.
A and E was quiet when Heather arrived. It was almost seven and most of the day shift had gone home. There was just Ben left and he was in the treatment room, dealing with a child who had fallen off his bike. Heather went to see if she could help, although she knew the young registrar was perfectly capable of handling the case on his own.
She sighed as she knocked on the door and went into the room. Helping Ben was just a delaying tactic because she wanted to put off the moment when Ross would drive her home. Once they reached her flat she would have to make it clear that she didn’t want to see him again. It wasn’t going to be easy to make him accept her decision but she had no choice. She was far too vulnerable where Ross was concerned.
‘I thought you’d gone home,’ Ben remarked lightly when she appeared, but Heather could see the question in his eyes. She hurried to explain, not wanting him to think that she was checking up on him.
‘I went to see a patient in the burns unit and it took longer than I’d expected. I thought I’d better make sure everything was quiet here before I went home.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Ben turned to the boy lying on the bed and winked. ‘This is Dr Cooper, Tyson. She’s the boss so you’d better be on your best behaviour.’
‘Cool!’ The boy grinned as he held up his hand. ‘Nice to meet you, Boss-lady.’
‘You, too, Tyson.’ Heather laughed as she smacked the child’s hand in a high-five greeting. ‘So what have you been up to?’
‘Fell off my bike while I was doing this cool jump. You should have seen how high I went.’ The boy’s face split into a huge smile. ‘Best jump I’ve ever made, Doc. It was truly awesome!’
‘Tyson is into bike scrambling in a big way,’ Ben explained, gently examining the gash on the boy’s forehead. ‘His mum is waiting outside because she gets a bit queasy at the sight of blood, but she told me that he’s training for the south-east junior championship.’
‘You must be really good if you’ve reached that stage. Do you wear all the proper safety equipment?’ Heather asked, moving closer as Ben took out a penlight and checked the boy’s eyes. Both pupils reacted evenly to the light, a reassuring sign that the boy hadn’t suffered a serious head injury.
‘Course!’ Tyson sounded disgusted. He didn’t realise the reason why she’d asked him that question was to help to assess the level of injury he might have suffered. ‘I wear the lot—helmet, knee and elbow pads, back protector. You have to wear the right clothes if you do a dangerous sport like scrambling. It’s only dummies who take risks!’
‘Of course. Sorry,’ Heather apologised gravely. She smiled when Ben winked at her, although she couldn’t help thinking how sensible the child was to take proper precautions. If only it were possible to safeguard against all life’s dangers, she thought wistfully.
She hurriedly dismissed the thought when Ben turned to her. She agreed with him that all the boy needed was a couple of stitches to hold the cut together while it healed. She left Ben to deal with them and went to fetch her coat from the staff-room, but it was unsettling to admit that her mind had added a rider to that thought: if only there was a way to protect Ross from the dangers of his job then there might not be a problem about them getting to know each other better.
Heather closed her locker with hands that were no longer steady. Nobody could guarantee another person’s safety, which was why it was imperative that she put a stop to what had been happening. After tonight, she wouldn’t see Ross again.
It was almost seven-thirty by the time Heather reappeared. Ross had started to wonder if she might have skipped out on him when he saw her coming into the coffee-shop. Most of the visitors had left so he had a perfect view as she crossed the room.
His stomach muscles tightened as he watched the gentle sway of her hips as she came towards him. She was carrying her coat and all she had on was a tailored navy skirt and a white blouse. Her figure was trim but womanly, with full breasts and hips, a neat waist. The skirt flattened against her legs as she walked and Ross swallowed when he caught tantalising glimpses of her shapely thighs outlined beneath the fabric.
Heather was a truly beautiful and sensual woman yet she made no attempt to enhance her looks. Her clothes were neat but serviceable and he had never seen her wearing a scrap of make-up. It saddened him that she seemed determined not to take pleasure from her beauty. Maybe she was still grieving for the man she’d loved, but surely she understood that she had her own life to think about? If only he could make her understand that she had a future to look forward to and that he was more than willing to play a prominent part in it.
‘Are you all right?’
Ross jumped when Heather touched him
on the shoulder. He shot to his feet, almost overturning the chair in his haste. ‘Fine. I was just wool-gathering. If you’re ready, we may as well get off home.’
He summoned a smile but it was alarming to realise just how deep his feelings really were for this woman. He had never envisaged falling in love with someone who might not be able to love him in return, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Surely it would be wiser to cut his losses and retreat with his dignity intact?
Ross squared his shoulders. Faint heart never won fair lady, or so the old adage claimed. He wasn’t about to give up until Heather had made it clear there was no hope for him!
Heather could feel her nervousness increasing as Ross drove her home. She still hadn’t worked out how to tell that she didn’t want to see him again. She was tempted to tell him about Stewart but she simply didn’t trust herself not to break down. The last thing she wanted was Ross showering her with sympathy when she needed to remain in control.
‘Which way when we reach the crossroads?’
Heather jumped when Ross asked for directions. She could feel her heart pounding and had to make a conscious effort to calm down. ‘Left. It’s number 32A, halfway down on the right-hand side.’
‘Fine.’ Ross signalled and turned left. He drew up outside the house and switched off the engine. Rolling down the window, he studied the red-brick semi with obvious interest.
The house had been a single family dwelling until a few years ago when it had been divided into two flats. Heather had always considered herself extremely fortunate to have been in the estate agent’s office when the ground-floor flat had come onto the market because finding suitable accommodation around London was a nightmare. Although the rent had been far more than she’d wanted to pay, the fact that access to the small back garden had come with the flat had persuaded her to stretch her budget. At least there was somewhere safe for Grace to play outside.
‘This is nice,’ Ross declared, turning to her. ‘Have you lived here long?’
‘Just over two years.’ She took a quick breath because there was no point putting off telling him her decision any longer. ‘Look, Ross—’
‘Does your—?’
They both spoke together and both stopped. Ross chuckled but Heather could see a sudden wariness in his eyes. ‘Ladies first.’
‘No…please. What were you going to say?’ Heather summoned a smile but the tension was making her nerves hum. How could she make him understand that she was right to end their involvement without hurting him? Suddenly, that seemed as important as making sure that she didn’t get hurt.
‘I was just going to ask if your mother lives with you or if she has a place of her own.’
‘She lives here with me. It means that I don’t have to worry about Grace if I’m delayed at work and there’s no problem when I have to work nights either,’ she explained as calmly as she could, although the way Ross was looking at her made her want to squirm in her seat. She couldn’t remember when she’d seen such intensity in anyone’s gaze before.
‘It must be a big help, especially working the sort of hours you do.’
‘It is. I don’t know how I’d cope if Mum wasn’t here. I hate the thought of having to put Grace into a nursery.’
‘It also means that you have someone to babysit if you want to go out of a night, I imagine. I know one of my sister’s biggest headaches is finding a reliable babysitter.’
‘That isn’t an issue,’ she said quickly, because she had a horrible suspicion where the conversation was leading. She didn’t want Ross to invite her out because it would make it that much more difficult to tell him that she couldn’t see him again. ‘I prefer to spend any free time I have with Grace. I see far too little of her as it is.’
‘I understand that but you need a break from being a mother just as much as you need time out from your job.’ He looked deep into her eyes. ‘You should take some time for yourself, Heather.’
‘I’m perfectly happy the way I am.’
‘Are you? You can put your hand on your heart and swear that you don’t want more out of life?’
‘No! I’ve just explained that my life is fine the way it is,’ she retorted. ‘I’m sorry, Ross, but, frankly, I don’t think it’s any of your business how I choose to live.’
‘Maybe it isn’t but I still think you’re missing out on an awful lot. Maybe you are happy with what you have, but surely you have other needs that neither your job nor your daughter can satisfy?’
Heather felt her face suffuse with heat when she realised what he meant. She’d never thought about her physical needs since Stewart had died but all of a sudden she couldn’t stop the images that filled her head, images of Ross making love to her. She could picture him stripping off her clothes and carrying her to the bed, laying her down on it. She could imagine the passion on his face as he studied her naked body before his hands began to seek out all the secret places. The pictures were so vivid that she gasped when Ross touched her lightly on the knee.
‘Heather, what is it?’ he demanded urgently. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing!’
She reached for the doorhandle, desperate to make her escape. All thoughts about how she would tell him that she couldn’t see him again had fled. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt sexual desire for Ross—she only wished it was. Maybe then it wouldn’t feel like a complete betrayal of everything she’d felt for Stewart. Stewart had been the love of her life and losing him had been the worst thing that could have happened to her, yet she’d just sat there, imagining how it would feel if Ross made love to her!
‘I’m sorry. That was completely out of order.’
There was a note of dejection in his voice that made her pause and she heard him sigh. ‘I can’t help how I feel, though, Heather. I care what happens to you.’
The frank admission brought a sudden mist of tears to her eyes but Heather blinked them away. She couldn’t afford to dwell on how much it meant to hear him say that. She had to make it clear that there was no future for them and save them both getting hurt.
‘But I don’t want you to care about me, Ross. I know you mean well but the fact is that I’m not interested in having a relationship with you or anyone else.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
WELL, that had been perfectly clear!
‘I see.’ Ross summoned a smile but it was hard not to show how dismayed he was by Heather’s announcement. ‘I suppose I should thank you for being so direct.’
‘It saves a lot of time, I always find.’
She got out of the car then glanced round when the front door of the house opened and a woman appeared. The woman was holding Grace and Ross saw the little girl bounce up and down in delight when she spotted Heather.
He got out of the car, not wanting to appear rude by driving away. The woman was obviously Heather’s mother because he could see the resemblance as she came down the path. They were the same height and build, and had the same soft grey eyes and delicate features, he just had time to notice before Grace lurched towards him with her arms outstretched.
Ross automatically caught her. He laughed when the little girl chuckled. ‘You’re a little monkey. You knew I’d have to catch you, didn’t you?’
‘She’s never done that before! She’s normally so shy with strangers.’
Ross laughed at Mrs Cooper’s astonishment. ‘Ah, but I’m not a stranger, you see. Grace and I met the other day in the park and she must have remembered me. I’m Ross Tanner, by the way. And you must be Heather’s mother.’
‘Sandra Cooper.’ Sandra informed him with a warm smile. She looked round as Heather joined them and Ross could see the question in her eyes. ‘Grace seems to have taken to Mr Tanner in a big way. I can’t remember her going to anyone like that before.’
‘Maybe she’s growing out of the clingy stage,’ Heather said tonelessly. She took the little girl from him, shaking her head when Grace tried to wriggle out of her grasp. ‘No, that’s enough, Grace. Ross has
to go home now.’
Grace let out a loud yell of displeasure. ‘Back! Back!’
‘I seem to have started something.’ Ross grimaced when he saw two fat tears roll down the child’s cheeks. ‘I don’t mind holding her, honestly.’
‘She has to learn that she can’t have her own way all the time,’ Heather said firmly. She gave the little girl a cuddle but Grace just cried all the harder.
‘I expect she’s tired,’ Sandra explained apologetically. ‘I kept her up so she could see you before she went to bed.’
‘She’s probably reached that stage where there’s no reasoning with her.’ Ross wiped the tears off the child’s cheeks and smiled at her. ‘That’s a lot of noise for such a little girl. You’re going to give your poor mummy a headache.’
‘Back, back,’ Grace repeated, trying to struggle out of Heather’s arms so she could get to him.
Ross looked at Heather. He didn’t want to appear as though he was questioning her judgement, but he hated to see the child getting so upset. ‘I don’t have to rush off right this very minute. It seems a shame to upset her when she’s not really being naughty. I know what the twins can be like when they’re tired.’
‘Oh, so you have children, Mr Tanner?’ Sandra put in quickly.
‘Only on loan.’ Ross laughed when he saw Sandra’s bewilderment. ‘My sister has twin five year-old boys. She’s expecting another baby and has high blood pressure so I do my doting uncle bit as often as I can.’
‘I see!’ Sandra’s face cleared. ‘That explains why Grace is so comfortable with you. You’re obviously used to being around children and she can sense that.’
Sandra turned to Heather. ‘Why don’t you let Mr Tanner hold Grace if it will calm her down, darling? It’s tiredness rather than naughtiness, so I don’t think it will hurt to let her have her own way for once.’
Heather sighed as she passed Grace to him. ‘I suppose it won’t matter just this once,’ she conceded.
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