Ross settled the child in his arms, shaking his head in amusement when Grace immediately stopped crying and smiled at him. ‘Happy now, are you?’
‘Why don’t we all go inside?’ Sandra suggested. ‘There’s no point standing out here on the pavement.’
‘I don’t want to be a nuisance…’ Ross began, unsure how Heather would feel about having him in her home.
‘Of course you aren’t being a nuisance!’ Sandra declared, leading the way.
Ross glanced at Heather for guidance but she merely shrugged before she followed her mother into the flat. He followed more slowly, wondering if he was making a mistake by putting her in such an awkward position. He was under no illusions about her welcoming him into her home after the conversation they’d had, but she obviously didn’t want to make a fuss in front of her mother.
He sighed. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place!
Heather hung her coat in the hall then led the way to the sitting room. She knew that Ross had followed her but she didn’t look round. She wanted to be sure that she had herself under control before she looked at him again.
‘This is nice. Who does the decorating around here? You or your mother?’
Heather took a steadying breath before she turned, but even then she wasn’t fully inured against the feelings that flowed through her when she saw Ross standing in the doorway with Grace in his arms. The little girl was snuggled against him, her head resting trustingly on his shoulder. They looked so right together but she knew it would be wrong to start thinking along those lines. Grace was Stewart’s daughter and she had no connection whatsoever to Ross.
‘I redecorated the flat before Mum moved in.’ She glanced around the room, needing a few seconds to regain her composure. ‘It took me ages to decide what colour to paint the walls. The previous tenants had painted the whole place white but I wanted to choose a colour that would warm everywhere up.’
‘Well, you’ve certainly succeeded.’ Ross cast an admiring glance at the rich terracotta walls and buttery-coloured woodwork. ‘It looks really cosy in here. I wish my place looked half as good! Maybe I should get you to suggest a colour scheme. I’m hopeless at things like that.’
‘I doubt I’d be much help,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s difficult to make suggestions for colour schemes when you don’t know a person very well.’
‘There’s an easy answer to that, Heather.’
Heather shivered when she heard the invitation in his voice. It was just too much, coming on top of what had happened already. She looked round in relief when her mother popped her head round the door.
‘I’ve made a casserole, darling.’ Sandra turned to Ross before Heather could reply. ‘There’s more than enough for two so you will stay for supper, Mr Tanner? I have to go out and you can keep Heather company. There’s nothing worse than eating on your own.’
‘I’m sure Ross is far too busy to keep me company,’ Heather protested, shooting a speaking look at her mother.
‘Nonsense! You heard Mr Tanner say that he didn’t have to rush off.’ Sandra checked her watch. ‘I must go. I’m meeting David and I don’t want to keep him waiting.’
Heather took a deep breath as the sound of the front door slamming announced Sandra’s departure. Frankly, she wasn’t sure what to do. Telling Ross that she didn’t want him to stay would be so rude after he had taken the trouble to drive her home.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t be staying. If you could just take Grace off me, I’ll be on my way.’
Heather bit her lip when Ross settled a reluctant Grace in her arms. He’d obviously realised that she didn’t want him to stay and it made her feel awful. After all, what harm could there be in them sharing a meal so long as she made it clear afterwards that she didn’t intend to see him again?
‘Please, stay,’ she said quickly before she thought better of it. ‘Consider it a small thank-you for driving me home.’
‘I don’t expect to be repaid for driving you home, Heather. I was more than happy to do so. And I most certainly don’t want to impose on you,’ he said bluntly.
‘You’re not.’ A little colour touched her cheeks but she met his gaze steadily. ‘I’m sorry if I appeared ungracious but Mum caught me off guard. I’d really like you to stay if you haven’t anything planned. Why don’t I see if I can get Grace settled in her cot and then we can eat? I don’t know about you but I’m starving.’
‘Thank you. I’d like to stay, then,’ he said gravely. He glanced at Grace and chuckled. ‘Although putting Grace down for the night sounds like wishful thinking to me. I hate to mention it but she looks as though she’s getting her second wind!’
Right on cue, Grace suddenly demanded to be put down. Heather sighed as she watched her daughter run straight to the toy box. ‘She’s overtired, I’m afraid. It’s going to take a while to settle her down.’
‘Why don’t I play with her while you fix supper?’
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ Heather said hesitantly, wondering if it was fair to expect him to look after Grace after the busy day he’d had.
‘Of course I don’t mind.’ Ross placed his hands on her shoulders and propelled her towards the door. ‘Off you go. Grace will be fine with me.’
‘OK. Thanks.’ She smiled up at him, feeling her heart knock against her ribs when he smiled back. She hurried from the room and went straight to the kitchen, trying not to think about the expression she’d seen in his eyes, but it was impossible to shut it out.
A shiver ran through her. Ross had admitted that he cared about her and she could tell it was true. Whilst she couldn’t help feeling elated by the thought, it also scared her. She simply couldn’t afford to be swayed by his feelings, or her own for that matter. She had to stick to her decision and end their relationship because it was the right thing to do. She sighed. That didn’t mean it was going to be easy to carry it through, though.
It didn’t take long to heat up the casserole and put together a simple salad to go with it. Heather laid the kitchen table then went back to the sitting room to tell Ross the meal was ready. She paused in the doorway, drinking in the sight that met her.
Ross was sprawled out on the floor with a laughing Grace perched on his chest. The little girl was bouncing up and down, giggling like mad when he huffed and puffed each time she bounced on him. His dark hair was all mussed and the front of his white shirt was creased to rags, but he was obviously having as much fun as Grace was.
Heather felt warmth invade her as she watched them playing together. It was obvious they had formed a close bond in a remarkably short time, although it didn’t really surprise her. Ross seemed to have a natural affinity with children and Grace responded to it. It made Heather wonder if she was doing the right thing by turning her back on what Ross could offer her and Grace. How wonderful it would be if her precious daughter had a father at last.
The thought shocked Heather so much that she gasped, and Ross must have heard her. He looked round and grinned when he saw her standing in the doorway. ‘We’re playing horsies and I’m the horse!’
‘Rather you than me.’ Heather summoned a smile but her heart was racing out of control. Grace’s father was dead and nobody could ever replace him, so where had that idea sprung from?
‘Hmm, sounds as though you’ve had more than your fair share of being Dobbin.’ Ross lifted Grace off his chest and held her at arm’s length. ‘Right, then, young lady, the poor old horsy is tired out and wants his supper. We can play again another time.’
‘More horsy, more horsy!’ Grace demanded, kicking her feet wildly. She caught Ross a glancing blow under his chin and he groaned.
‘Whoa, steady on! If you knock out the poor old horse then you won’t get another ride.’
‘Are you all right?’ Heather said anxiously, hurrying across the room and taking Grace from him.
‘I’ll live.’ He wiggled his jaw from side to side then grinned at her. ‘Although, if I were you, I’d think seriously
about getting her some kick-boxing lessons when she’s older. She’s obviously a natural!’
Heather smiled. ‘She used to kick up a storm when I was pregnant. I was convinced she was going to be a boy, in fact.’
‘But instead she’s a beautiful little girl who looks just like her mother,’ Ross said deeply as he scrambled to his feet.
‘I…I’ve always thought she looks more like Stewart than me,’ Heather said huskily, because the way Ross was looking at her made it almost impossible to breathe properly.
‘Because she doesn’t have your colour hair and eyes?’ Ross looked at Grace for a moment. His gaze returned to Heather and she felt her skin prickle when he subjected her to an intent scrutiny. ‘Even so, she still looks very like you, Heather.’
‘Does she?’ She cleared her throat but she could hear the quaver in her voice and knew that Ross could hear it, too.
‘Mmm. This little girl is going to be a real heartbreaker when she grows up—just like her mum.’
Heather wasn’t sure what she should say to that. Anything she could think of seemed fraught with danger. She didn’t want to break anyone’s heart and especially not Ross’s. It was a relief when he suddenly changed the subject.
‘I take it that supper is ready?’
‘Oh, um, yes,’ she said hurriedly. She settled Grace on her hip and turned to lead the way. ‘I hope you don’t mind eating in the kitchen. We converted the dining-room into another bedroom when Mum moved in.’
‘Of course I don’t mind. I normally eat my meals off a tray in front of the television so actually sitting down at a table is really going upmarket for me!’
Heather laughed, feeling some of her tension ease a little. ‘I’d probably do that, too, only I don’t want Grace to get into bad habits.’
‘Quite right, too. I expect I’ll feel the same if and when I ever have any children of my own.’
‘I’m sure you will,’ she agreed, trying not to think about the family Ross would have one day. It made her feel very odd to imagine him and some unknown woman raising their children together.
She quickly strapped Grace into her high chair and gave her some building blocks to play with while she served their meal. She took the casserole out of the oven and spooned it onto the plates she’d had warming. She wasn’t jealous at the thought of Ross showering affection on someone else—of course she wasn’t! And yet she couldn’t dismiss the feelings of envy at the thought of what a wonderful husband and father Ross would be.
‘This is good. It’s ages since I had a home-cooked meal.’ Ross forked up another mouthful of chicken and sighed appreciatively. ‘Take-aways and frozen dinners can’t hold a candle to food like this.’
‘Mum is a great cook. I’m really spoiled because she tends to do all the cooking when I’m at work.’ Heather took some salad from the bowl then passed it to Ross.
‘Thanks. I used to enjoy cooking when I was younger but I don’t have the time now or the inclination.’ He put the salad servers back in the bowl. ‘It seems too much of an effort when you get in from work, doesn’t it?’
‘It does, although I used to enjoy cooking when Stewart and I had our first flat,’ she said without thinking.
‘I expect it’s different when you’re cooking for someone you love,’ he observed quietly.
‘I suppose it is.’
Heather applied herself to the meal, wishing that she hadn’t mentioned Stewart’s name. It made her feel uncomfortable to talk about him to Ross after all the strange thoughts that had invaded her head that evening. The sooner she took steps to get her life back on track the better it would be. She didn’t need this kind of turmoil. She had to think about the effect it could have on Grace.
Ross must have sensed her reluctance to say anything else because he changed the subject. He kept up an undemanding conversation about the weather and current affairs while they finished their meal, and Heather was grateful to him. Grace was obviously getting tired because Heather could see her eyelids drooping when she got up to plug in the kettle.
‘I’ll make some coffee then put Grace to bed.’
‘Why don’t I make it while you see to Grace?’ Ross suggested, standing up. He grinned at her. ‘I should warn you, though, that my coffee is an acquired taste.’
‘That sounds ominous.’ Heather rolled her eyes. ‘In that case, shall we have instant? There’s less likelihood of anything going wrong.’
‘Don’t bet on it,’ he replied cheerfully. ‘Do you like your coffee strong or weak, by the way?’
‘I’ll leave it to you. Coffee’s in that jar and milk is in the fridge. If you take sugar then there’s some in the cupboard over the stove.’ She unstrapped Grace’s safety harness and lifted her out of the high chair. ‘We’ll leave you to it, then. Say night-night to Ross, darling.’
‘Night-night,’ Grace repeated sleepily, snuggling against her mother.
‘Sweet dreams, poppet.’
Ross bent and dropped a gentle kiss on the child’s head. Heather’s pulse leapt when she felt his hair tickling her cheek. She turned away and hurried from the room because the urge to linger was just too strong.
There was no future for them, she told herself sternly as she laid Grace down in her cot. She knew that and she must make sure that Ross understood it, too. However, she couldn’t deny that her heart was aching at the thought of having to tell him that she didn’t want to see him again.
Ross had made the coffee when she went back to the kitchen. Heather sat down and picked up her cup. She took a cautious sip of the hot liquid and raised her brows. ‘It tastes fine to me.’
‘Good, although it’s probably a case of good luck rather than good judgement.’ He drank some of his coffee then put the mug down carefully on the table. ‘I’ve enjoyed tonight, Heather. Thank you for asking me to stay.’
‘You’re welcome,’ she replied politely, feeling her heart quicken because the moment was fast approaching when she would have to tell him her decision.
‘Maybe we could do it again some time. How would you feel about coming out for dinner with me one evening?’
‘I don’t think so. I’m sorry, Ross, but I think it’s time we both faced facts.’
‘Fact number one being that you aren’t interested in going out with me?’ He laughed but Heather could see the pain in his eyes and felt terrible. It took every bit of courage she possessed to carry on.
‘There’s no point. I have an extremely demanding job and what little free time I have I spend with Grace, as I told you. There simply isn’t room in my life for…’ She stumbled, unsure how to describe what Ross wanted from her.
‘Friendship? You’ve made it clear that you aren’t interested in a relationship and I accept that. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. It’s your choice, Heather. I would never try to persuade you to do something you weren’t happy with.’
His voice was so wonderfully warm and persuasive that Heather found herself weakening. Did she really need to end their involvement if Ross would be happy for them to remain strictly friends?
She stared at her cup while she thought it all through, but if they were facing facts then she had to face the fact that Ross wanted her as a man wanted a woman, not as a friend. She’d been aware of how he felt from the beginning, even though she had shied away from admitting it. And while she was being honest, she had to be truthful about her own feelings. She wanted him, too. Realistically, how could she expect them to remain simply as friends?
Heather’s heart was aching when she looked up. Ross was sitting across the table from her and for a moment she allowed herself the pleasure of looking at him. He was everything a woman could want—kind, caring, brave and handsome—but that was what made him so dangerous.
‘Ross, I…’
‘It’s OK. You don’t have to say anything. I know when I’m beaten.’
He treated her to a wry smile but the sadness in his eyes was more than she could bear. Without pausing to think, she lean
t forward and kissed him on the cheek. He smelled of soap and fresh air all mingled with a scent that was purely his own. She inhaled deeply, knowing the memory would linger long after he’d gone, a poignant reminder of what might have been if things had been different.
‘I’m sorry, Ross,’ she whispered as she drew back.
‘And I’m sorry, too, Heather. More sorry than I can tell you.’ He touched her lightly on the cheek then stood up. ‘Thanks again for the meal. Please, don’t get up. I’ll see myself out.’
Heather closed her eyes as he left the room. She knew it was silly but she couldn’t bear to watch him leaving. It was only after she’d heard the front door closing that she opened her eyes, although for a moment she couldn’t see because of the tears that blurred her vision.
Ross had gone and she wouldn’t see him again. She’d stuck to her decision and she’d been right to do so. If only it didn’t feel as though she’d made the biggest mistake of her life.
‘Red Watch…fall out!’
Ross went straight to the office after roll call had finished. It was Wednesday evening and the crew of Red Watch were coming to the end of their turn on night duty. He had the next four days off and he wasn’t looking forward to having so much free time on his hands. It was three weeks since he’d seen Heather and not a day had passed when he’d not thought about her.
He sighed as he took a file out of the cabinet and sat at his desk. The annual budget was due for review and he needed to complete his report so that it could be presented at the next council meeting. There had been talk of closing Rosedale fire station and he wanted to make it clear that Hexton would be unable to provide adequate cover if that happened. Nevertheless, despite how urgent the matter was, he found his mind returning to what had happened between him and Heather that last night. Why had she kissed him if she didn’t care?
The shrill summons of the emergency telephone coming from the watch room was a welcome distraction from a question which he’d spent far too much time trying to answer. Ross left the office and hurried downstairs to see what was happening. Terry Green had the details by the time Ross arrived.
Saving Dr. Cooper Page 10