Risk

by Raquel Belle

  I take a breath and push closer to her, “I’m glad you left.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “You’re alive, Charlotte. What we saw that last year…I don’t think you’d have been up for it. Things got…I don’t know,” I take the bottle from her and have a sip, then I pass it back. She takes a swig.

  She sighs. “This life of ours, huh?”

  “Uh huh.”

  We just lay there in comfortable silence. It’s good. Stairway to heaven starts. She pulls closer to me. It’s nice, we’ve always been comfortable with each other.

  “Jack?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You ever wish that things were different sometimes?”

  “Every day.”

  We’re quiet again. Then she says, “My dad used to say—if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”

  We both start laughing.

  “I’m seeing someone,” she says, “he’s a teacher at the high-school, Mike Johnson.”

  “Sounds like a fake name,” I say.

  “I know,” we laugh, “he makes me feel normal though. It’s nice…sometimes. It’s good, but I always compare things in my head. Like, what’s mission critical for civies seems so bleh compared to what’s a normal day for us.”

  “I know.”

  “I don’t say anything though. I mean, it’s sort of cute when he gets concerned about a student who’s falling behind, when he says he wants to spend more time with them, that kind of thing. I think he’s a good guy. It’s just weird that I can beat him arm wrestling.” She gives me a look.

  We laugh, then I can’t help it, I start really laughing, “Mike Johnson? My Johnson?”

  Charlotte starts laughing too.

  She gets on my lap and holds my face. I can feel the heat coming from her on my thigh. I know that look. She moves in for a kiss, I dodge my head away quickly and give her a smile. She laughs.

  She does it again, I dodge away again and laugh.

  “What are you—”

  I look down and sigh.

  “You and…”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “No. It feels…right,” I say, “I can’t explain it. It feels like…it’s meant to be.”

  She wipes a hand over her face, “Ugh!”

  I shrug.

  “Really? When did you turn into such a girl?” She forces a laugh.

  I squeeze her shoulder. She nods. Then we’re silent. We’re just looking into each other’s eyes.

  “I missed you,” she says.

  “I missed you too.” I hold her close, “you don’t know how much.” I kiss her on the cheek. We stay like that for a bit. “We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is another big day.”

  She climbs off of me, slowly. I stand, she stands with me and takes my hand. She pulls me back for a hug.

  “I’m glad you’re still alive,” I feel some tears on my shoulder.

  “I’m not.”

  “Don’t ever say that!”

  She holds my face again and before I know it her lips are on mine. She’s been alone for two years. She’s the only other person left. She’s the only one who truly knows what we’ve lost. What I’ve lost. It’s a stolen moment, but I can’t blame her for it.

  I break it off before it goes too far.

  “Charlotte,” it’s nothing more than a whisper. We never got involved when we were working together. The one time was after she handed in her papers and she was leaving the next day, three years ago.

  I care for her, I do, just not in this way. You can’t see someone in a certain light when you know how capable they are of violence. A mother versus a killer. We’ve done terrible things together. That’s not something I want to be reminded of every day.

  People who’ve served together don’t marry each other, they don’t date, they just fuck to release the tension. There needs to be balance. You don’t want to close your eyes every night and see muzzle flashes and then talk about your PTSD over breakfast.

  I don’t know what time I’ve got left. I don’t know what the week has in store for me, but I know I want to have a life…a life with Deanna…just like Charlotte does with Mike.

  She takes a breath and lets it go. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

  “I know,” I hold her and pull her head to my shoulder, “I know.”

  “We’ve had too much to drink,” she says.

  “Yeah.”

  She stands back and holds my face again, “Maybe in another life.” She looks sad but forces a smile through. A tear runs down her cheek, then she walks away.

  I wait till she’s up the stairs and goes to her bedroom. Then I go to mine and Deanna’s.

  I open the door and see her passed out on the bed. After I brush and undress I lay down next to her. I drag her leg and her arm over me—the way she likes. She gives me a sleepy moan, “Hey,” and nuzzles close in response. This is where I want to be…I know that Charlotte understands why.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Deanna

  I wake up alone. I know that Jack came to bed last night. We cuddled. I remember.

  I brush my teeth and throw on a blue summery dress before I go downstairs. I hear some noise in the kitchen so I head that way.

  I find Charlotte in a green tank top and brown shorts at the stove. Damn! She’s got legs. Tits also. They’re so booby and jiggly. I guess that’s why she wears those tops.

  “Good morning,” I say, “can I help?”

  “No, I’ve got it.”

  “Coffee? Juice? Fruit? Anything?”

  “Nope, I’m good.”

  “Okay,” she hasn’t even looked my way yet…suspiciously enough, “is the coffee on?”

  “Yeah, right there,” she jerks her thumb at the machine.

  I grab my old mug off the shelf, it’s got a heart on it. I quickly rinse it out and pour myself one. Mm…caffeine.

  I look over her shoulder and see that she’s busy making eggs, bacon, sausage and mushrooms. She’s pretty good—handling everything at once.

  “You better turn that one link over there,” I say. She does. “Should I put some toast on?”

  There a pregnant pause and then Red says, “He’s too good for you, you know?”

  This bitch.

  “Oh, and I suppose you’re the perfect one for him?”

  “I’m just calling it like I see it sister.”

  “Well, sister, you can go fuck yourself, because I recall him coming to my bed last night, not yours.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Hmm what?” She finally turns to look at me. “Why do you have to be such a bitch? I’m trying to be nice over here.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry,” she looks away.

  “Are you?”

  “Shut up, YES, I’m sorry. You’d just better not be playing him.”

  “Hey,” Jack comes in.

  We both turn at the same time and smile, “Heeeey!” We exaggerate the hell out of it.

  Jack gives us a confused look, shakes his head and turns around. As soon as he’s far enough away I lean up to Charlottes ear, “I’m not playing anybody. You want to know why?” it’s rhetorical, “because I don’t give that much of a fuck. Now, let’s eat our fucking eggs and not be bitches. Cool?”

  “Cool.”

  I turn away and look for the bread in the fridge. There’s an eight-slice toaster so I load it up and get it going. I set the table with cutlery and plates and put those things on the table—I don’t know what you call them—so Charlotte can bring the pans there. They’re like heat resistant coasters?

  Jack is probably washing up somewhere.

  I pour us all some coffee and a little bit of juice as well. Charlotte’s fridge is—or rather, was—surprisingly well stocked. I wonder if she entertains often. I take the butter and sauces out as well as the salt and pepper…just so everything is nice and dignified.

  We’re just about to sit down when Jack comes in and joins us. Somehow I end up at the head
of the table, with Charlotte and Jack on either side of me.

  “Wow,” he says, “what a breakfast!”

  Charlotte and I exchange a look but we say nothing.

  Jack looks at both of us. “Everything okay?”

  “Fine,” we say at the same time.

  He laughs, “You’re freaking me out, guys.”

  Charlotte wipes a hand over her face, I feel my eyes roll.

  You know, I’d say that she was very, very attractive if she didn’t annoy me so much. She has very chiseled features. She’s super fit and the red hair is stunning.

  “Dig in,” she says.

  Jack quickly takes my hand and reaches over for Charlotte’s, “Lord, thank you for this outstanding breakfast that we are about to enjoy, for these delicious looking eggs, the bacon and sausage and bread and tomato sauce and mustard and everything else on this table, and most especially…for these two amazing women sitting with me, in your name, our father, Amen.” He nods and lets us go.

  Charlotte bursts out laughing.

  I feel a smile rip through my face.

  Jack claps his hands together, “Let’s eat!”

  We do, everything is great. Charlotte has burned everything to a suitable degree for the amount of carcinogens breakfast requires. The bacon cracks, the eggs have been murdered, there’s enough oil, grease and fat to give us all heart problems by the time we’re fifty. It’s fantastic.

  “Deanna?” Charlotte says.

  “Hmm?”

  “I owe you an apology.”

  What?

  I’m sure I heard those words right, but I’m not sure what my face is doing in response.

  “When I saw you yesterday…well, for the last three years really, I thought you were one of them and you were the only one who got away. Like, you were a bad person like them and maybe you’d just kept on going, doing bad things. But now I know that you were the only good one. You were the only person who did the right thing. If you didn’t do what you did, Ben, Judd and Luke would probably be dead now…or worse. They’re in prison, but at least they’ve got a shot at parole and a chance to still have some kind of a life when they get out. That’s better than nothing. Thank you for that.”

  Why do I have to cry, every, goddamn, day!

  There I go. I take her hand, she looks at me…I know she means it, she’s sincere. I try to talk. I can’t. I push out of my chair and hug her. I think I end up sitting on her. She’s pretty big.

  Nope, still can’t talk…just tears. Both my arms are around her neck, I might be strangling her. Her arms are around me.

  When I feel like I can talk I say, “I’m sorry I emptied the fluffy storm trooper on your bed.”

  She laughs.

  I laugh.

  God, I need to breathe.

  I get up and wipe my face. “I’m going to get some air. You guys finish breakfast.” I turn quickly and go out to the porch.

  ***

  Jack

  Charlotte is a bit teary eyed as well. I’m starting to wonder if I’m the one doing something. Every few hours a woman is crying in front of me.

  “That was nice of you,” I say.

  “Just following your lead, boss,” Charlotte says. She gives me a wink. “You haven’t been wrong yet. We had a little moment in the kitchen earlier, I trust her.”

  I nod, “Me too.” I take her hand, “Thank you.”

  She squeezes me back.

  “I’m going to check on her,” I say. Charlotte nods. I get up and go out to the porch.

  Deanna is at the railing, looking out at nothing. I go over and put my arms around her.

  “Alright?”

  “What Charlotte said?” Deanna sniffs. “I have been waiting so, so long to hear someone say that. I thought I never would.”

  “Good thing you came with me then.”

  I hear her choke back some tears and she gives me a small laugh.

  I gently rock her from side to side.

  “I think I can finally start to put it behind me. You know, all this time it’s been like I was living in a nightmare. I never told anybody about it. I mean, we’re not those kinds of people, you know? I’d have given my parents heart-attacks. Lilly wouldn’t be able to look at me again. Nobody would. Jack, the things I did…”

  “You’re not to blame for any of it, Deanna. You got caught up in a bad situation and you did the best you could and got out of it. It takes time to heal, but as we fill our lives with better things, it gets easier to let go of the bad ones. It just takes time, that’s all.”

  She takes a deep breath and lets it out. “What a week!”

  “We’re just getting started pretty waitress.”

  She laughs, turns in my arms and we kiss.

  “Ready for a jump today? It’ll make you feel good.”

  She gives me a small kiss, “Let’s do it.”

  ***

  Deanna

  An hour later, we’re at 12,500 feet. Jack is checking and rechecking and fussing over my chute.

  “I’ve done this before, you know?” We have to talk loudly to be heard. “Maybe like a hundred times.”

  “Just making sure,” he says.

  Charlie smacks the panel behind her to get our attention, she puts a finger up, “One minute.”

  Jack gives her a thumbs up and turns to me, “Ready?”

  “I was born ready!”

  “Alright, wait for the green light and hit it.”

  I don’t say anything, I just smile, I know he only wants to look after me. I like it.

  I haven’t done this in a long time though, so the anticipation is definitely there. There’s no other feeling like it. My adrenaline kicked in as soon as the plane took off and now I’m itching to jump out.

  I wait for the green light with bated breath. As soon as I see it I turn to Jack, he smiles, gives me a thumbs up and nods. I turn to the exit and take a running leap out. “WOOHOO!”

  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s Super-Deanna!

  A second later Jack comes over me like the real Superman. Wow! He’s incredible. I normally just spread my limbs out and try to keep a decent form so I don’t end up spinning out of control like a ragdoll, so seeing Jack in action is like watching a whole different level of expertise. With what I’m doing it takes a little while to reach terminal velocity, but he leapt out with a tucked forward roll and opened up dashing head first. He really does look like a superhero right now.

  I’m in awe. I forgot that normal people do this for fun, but for Charlotte and Jack, this is a pure science. They’re getting a job done and this is part of the mission. It’s a means of insertion. He wants to reach the ground quickly, efficiently, undetected and hit his mark.

  He has total control of his body. He starts spinning himself and it looks effortless, he flips over and looks for me, then gives me a thumbs up. I was so caught up watching him that I almost forgot to think about myself. I laugh and then start enjoying my own freefall.

  From up here everything looks so small and insignificant. Buildings and people are like ants. If the things down there are so tiny, can they really hurt you? Nah.

  This is the best form of escapism I’ve ever experienced. Everyone should try this at least once in their lives. It’s hard not to get addicted to it. You want to stay up here forever but it doesn’t last anywhere near long enough.

  I push everything else out of my mind and decide to embrace the moment. Who knows when I’ll get to do this again?

  Soon Jack maneuvers his body to decelerate so he can get to me, when he does he gives me a sign to pull my shoot, it’s just about time, we’re at about 2000 feet up so I do.

  I’m expecting Jack to do the same, but he doesn’t. Oh crap, is his chute malfunctioning? Then he dives head first. What the hell is he doing? He’s back to terminal velocity, is he trying to turn himself into a stain on the ground? He’s insane!

  He’s missed his window to open. Oh God no!

  I start screaming his name in a wild panic, there
’s nothing else I can do.

  Suddenly he reverses, leading with his legs and pulls his chute. I’ve never seen anything like it. I don’t know how high he was when he opened but that’s the lowest opening I’ve ever witnessed. I instinctively start yelling, “YES! YES! YES!” Somehow he sticks his landing and cuts away immediately so the chute won’t drag him off his mark. It is nothing short of astounding.

  He’s looking up at me and I use my lines to aim for him, I glide into his waiting arms and wrap my thighs around him. He falls back to absorb my landing and I end up straddling him. He’s got a huge smile on his face.

  “Are you crazy?” I say, “Are you trying to kill yourself?” I start kissing him all over his face, he laughs. He pulls my face closer and we start making out like a couple of teenagers.

  “You want to?” he asks, giving me a naughty look.

  The adrenaline pumping through my veins is making me horny as fuck.

  He pulls out a condom from his pocket.

  “But Charlotte? She’ll see us,” I say.

  “Quick one,” Jack says.

  “Okay, really, really quick before the plane lands!”

  We undo our pants in a frenzy, I take mine off all the way, he just frees the important parts. I grab the condom from Jack and rip it open, I spit on my hand and grease his cock before I roll on the rubber, then he pulls me over and lays me down on the chute. He enters me and I gasp.

  “Fuck!”

  He manhandles me like a fuck-puppet and I’m loving it. He starts thrusting ferociously. He’s so powerful I can’t even get a word out. I just focus on my breathing, match his rhythm and enjoy the feeling of being fucked by his monster cock. I close my eyes and take all of him. It’s pure rapture. He leans down, kisses me and then pulls out.

  “NO!” I was starting to build. I stick two fingers in my dripping cunt, pull them out wet and stick them in his mouth. He sucks the juice off.

  He lifts me up and turns me over so I’m on my knees. He’s rough, I love it! He ploughs into me like a jackhammer. Ha! He slams in to my ass cheeks with force and that first thrust has me seeing sparks.