The Infiniti Investigates: Hattie Jenkins & the Infiniti Chronicles Books 1 to 5

by Pearl Goodfellow

  “Alban Dewdrop? I just met him at The Mutley Crew offices yesterday. A nice man. A little odd, but nice. Is he sick?”

  Puzzlement filled Verdantia’s beautiful face. “Not sick, exactly. But, I don’t see how you could have seen Alban at The Mutley Crew offices. Alban hasn’t been the Chair of the Society for years. Poor dear. He so loved his job and those dogs. It’s what he lived for. He empathized quite keenly with their plight, being an orphan himself you see. Never had a real home. But, it wasn’t enough. He wanted to really understand them. To be able to communicate with them.”

  “Like, talk?”

  Verdantia nodded. “Indeed. He worked a Canibus Communicare spell and something went awry. And, sadly, no amount of reversal charms will, well, reverse it.”

  “The spell didn’t work?”

  “Oh, no. He could definitely communicate with dogs. Except now, he also thinks he’s a dog. He’s harmless really. As long as he gets taken for walks three times a day and we keep his food and water dishes full. Occasionally, I like to bring him a bone. I never touch the stuff myself, but if it makes dear Alban happy. So, now, he’s at Midnight Hill Sanatorium in the Retirement Wing.”

  “But, I don’t understand. I saw him! So did Chief Trew!”

  Verdantia smiled knowingly. “Actually, it sounds like you saw what someone wanted you to see.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Did you see a spark or a twinkle in ‘Alban’s’ eye?”

  “Does a gleam count?”

  “What about a ring of toadstools?”

  I thought about the perfect circle of red-capped fungi I had seen on the expanse of green grass near the weeping willow. I nodded silently.

  “A fairy ring,” Verdantia shook her head solemnly. “A portal to Mag Mell.”

  “Mag Mell!” Shade spluttered, mention of the ancient fairy realm breaking his transfixion on Verdantia’s otherworldly beauty. Honestly, I’d nearly forgotten he was there.

  “Indeed. My homeland,” Verdantia confirmed. “I miss it sometimes, but all-in-all, I’d rather be here on Glessie. What you saw in those offices, if indeed you were even in those offices, was nothing more than a glamour. An illusion by someone schooled in the magic of The Fae. But, be careful, Hattie. Not all Fae are friendly and things are seldom what they seem.”

  Verdantia put Shade down and glided away amongst the pumpkins, her cryptic warning hanging menacingly in the air. Shade rested his chin on the top of a Wee-Be-Little pumpkin and stared after her.

  He sighed. “Say what you want about The Fae, Hat, but that woman is drop-dead-gourd-geous.”

  Hexception to the Rule

  “Absolutely not, Hattie! There is absolutely no way I am going to allow you to practice unlicensed Fae magic in the heart of Glessie. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? People have eaten Fae food and then wasted away because they can’t be satisfied with anything else. Or, they’ve gotten so lost because they foolishly follow some Will O’the Wisp light down some dark, dangerous backroad and are never heard from again. The answer’s ‘no,' Hattie. It’s way too dangerous. Even for the most seasoned practitioners. And, well, let’s face it, you’re not exactly Maleficent.”

  I cringed at the gentle, but biting insult from my long-time friend. My nose tingled as tears threatened to flood my face. Or maybe it was the musky sweet, earthy aroma lingering in the air. Amber looked on from her station behind the Chief, twiddling her necklace.

  I wiped an annoyed arm across my face. I didn’t need an audience for an emotional breakdown; that’s for sure. The Chief wasn’t finished with his lecture, however.

  “That’s why the Talisman requires all non-Fae to receive stringent and rigorous training before they will even consider granting a license. It’s simply out of the question. I won’t allow Fae magic.” He slammed the mugshot book closed on his desk.

  “It’s a little late for that,” I countered sarcastically. “Looks like you’ve already got someone practicing it. And they’re using it to interfere with the Spithilda Roach investigation.”

  “Chief?” Amber interrupted. She moved from her position over the Chief’s shoulder. They had been reviewing the mugshots about a recent unicorn poaching incident. Poached for their alicorn, no doubt. Standard police stuff.

  “I’ll just pick these up for now. We can discuss how you want the report to read later. Over dinner.” Amber placed a steadying hand on the Chief’s shoulder.

  Chief Trew covered her hand with his own. “Thank you, Amber. You’ve been super.”

  My brow furrowed.

  Okay. Maybe not so standard.

  But, I certainly didn’t have time for that now.

  “I just want to work a simple little spell to find out who it is. That toadstool ring outside The Mutley Crew offices wasn’t just a landscaper’s nightmare, David. It was a portal! A gate between our world and Mag Mell. Need I remind you that the Seelies from that world do not share our enlightened relationship with the Unawakened? They would just as soon wipe humans off the face of the planet quicker than they can say ‘horse and hattock’!”

  “Hattie,” Amber said sweetly, probably to tone the ire creeping into my voice. “You really should listen to the Chief. He’s got your best interests, and the interests of all of Glessie Isle at heart. He’s so thoughtful that way. Did you know he’s even putting in a good word for me at the Academy? After watching the two of you work, I decided I wanted to be more than just an executive assistant.”

  She bent over her desk to straighten the pot of violets on her desk, leaving her full cleavage in plain view of the Chief.

  “Why wouldn’t I, Amber?” The Chief grinned. “You’ve certainly got potential.”

  Oh, is that what we’re calling it these days?

  “Hey, Amber, did you say you were from Mag Mell island? Is that where you came from?” I threw the question quite suddenly.

  “Mag Mell? No, I was transferred from Nanker Isle.” Amber answered, a puzzled smile on her face.

  “Hattie, I’ve already questioned Amb…” David started.

  “What about your mom? Is she still on Mag Mell? Do you two still have contact?” I honestly didn’t know where I was going with this, but I knew I had to clear up a few things in my head.

  “Hattie, Amber hasn’t spoken to her mom in years. She came from Nanker, not Mag Mell. And, I already told you this.” The chief’s words were weary, and teetering on the edge of a simmering rage by the looks of him.

  Amber was looking a lot less like a fae-magic-practicing-suspect by the minute. She stood, her mouth hanging open wordlessly. I turned my attention back to David, feeling the desperation of wanting his undivided attention pulse like an electric current through my body.

  “Are you listening to a word I am saying? You need to make an exception for this Fae sorcery! Something is wrong! And it’s going on right under our noses!”

  A faint scent of musky, greasy straw drifted through the air. I looked past Amber, who nervously twiddled at her necklace, worried no doubt at my uncharacteristic outburst, to see Hector moving a bale of hay through the station.

  “Just put that in the stable, Hector. For the mounted division’s horses.”

  Hector grunted in the affirmative.

  “David!” I exploded.

  Hector dropped his hay. Everyone in the squad room stopped and stared. You could have heard a pin drop. Though I had known the Chief for years, I had never used his God-given name in a professional setting out of respect for his position and authority. But, this was dangerous and gravely serious, and I had not made the decision lightly.

  Judging from the dark, stormy clouds that filled David’s eyes, turning them from their beautiful blue to a foreboding and stormy gray it may not have been the right decision.

  “Seraphim Joyvive Jenkins…get out of my squad room. Asking for your help was clearly a mistake. If I hear one whisper about you sticking your nose into the Spithilda Roach situation, not only will I never speak to you again, but I will have you arrest
ed for interfering into a police investigation. You’re off the case.” I honestly don’t believe I had ever seen my friend so angry.

  “Just like that?” Shade asked. “You’re done? Wow. Boss-lady, that’s harsh!”

  “Serves her right, sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong,” Gloom muttered from her perch in the wingback.

  Eclipse threw a sour look in Gloom’s general direction. “You want me to tickle her, boss? ‘Cause I will do it without a second’s thought. You know how she hates being made to laugh. It will ruin her day.”

  “No, Clipsy” I mumbled from underneath a wild tangle of auburn curls, my face buried in my folded arms. “Gloom’s right.”

  Gloom suddenly perked up. “Wait? What? I am?”

  I lifted my head with some effort. It felt like a two-ton, lead weight. My eyes were red and puffy. I’d been producing more water than the Gless Inlet aquifer since I’d gotten back to The Angel Apothecary after my argument with Chief Trew at the station. My nose pulsed redder than a certain Christmas reindeer. I was surrounded by a mountain of crumpled tissue. I reached for the tissue box. It was empty. I searched through the crumplies and found the cleanest one I could and honked louder than the Sugar Dunes foghorn. I’m not normally a cry-baby sort, when it came to me. Sure, I cried for other people all the time, but most of the time I could almost always hold it together in my own affairs of the heart. Not this time though.

  “Yes, Gloom. You heard me. I said ‘you’re right’. And so is David. I have no business being a detective. And I certainly have no business thinking about doing magic. And Fae magic, of all things!”

  I’m not sure, but I think I saw Gloom actually smile, which is funny, only because I didn’t think she could.

  “Well, um, thank you, Hattie. I guess, I, uh, just wish it was under better circumstances. I, um, I’m just gonna go now. I think Remulus needs to go for a walk.” Gloom gingerly hopped from the seat cushion and padded quietly into the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder the whole way. I’d been so wrapped up in the Spithilda business, I’d almost forgotten about Remulus. Great. Yet another tick on the list of things I’ve screwed up lately. I guess I was glad that Gloom had taken such an unusual interest in him. It left me free to figure out how I was going to disassociate myself from magic altogether.

  “That is a terrible idea, Hattie,” Onyx interrupted my train of thought.

  Again with his uninvited mind invasion!

  I jumped up and slammed my fists against the sides of my legs. “Alright, Onyx! I’ve had it! No more reading my mind. No more clever advice about working magic. And no more suggesting how much David likes me. Because, quite clearly, he’s got a thing for Little Miss “My-Boobs-Get-in-the-Room-Ten-Minutes-Before-I-Do”. No more. Do you understand!”

  Jet shot across the room, trying to escape my line of sight. “No way, Speed Racer. No way you’re off the hook. Break one more jar in here and I’ll stuff you in one.”

  “Well, that’s just rude,” Jet mumbled.

  “And, you!” I leveled an accusatory finger toward Shade. He gave a surprised “who me” look.

  “I’m not running a cathouse!” I bellowed.

  Shade blinked. He cast bewildered looks at his six furry siblings that were still in the room.

  “If you bring one more lady cat into this shop, I will put enough saltpeter in your kibble to make you sing soprano!”

  Shade gulped audibly. Midnight, woken early by my histrionics, snickered. Bad move on his part. I whirled on him.

  “Go ahead and laugh, Rip Van Winkle. But, when you have your zombie pals over for a late night chit-chat, either toss the party tray afterward or give them a to-go plate. I’m tired of finding brains in my refrigerator!”

  “Bleccchh!!!” Carbon blurted.

  “As for you, Backdraft… you owe me three sets of curtains! You know what? Nevermind. I’m done.” I’m selling The Angel Apothecary and moving to the Mainland.”

  “SERAPHIM JOYVIVE JENKINS!”

  The voice was Onyx’s, but when I looked at him, his yellow eyes had gone a filmy, misty white. He sat on the counter, ramrod straight on top of Grammy Chimera’s old grimoire. The voice boomed, vibrating every piece of glass in the room. And I mean every glass jar. Every vial. Even Grammy Chimera’s glass chandelier.

  “Holy catnip, Chimera’s pissed,” Jet slinked away toward the window-seat and joined Shade a safe distance away from the possessed Onyx.

  “Hey, Hat!” Millie’s tragically chipper voice followed the wild tinkle of the door bells as she bumped her way in, backside first. “I got a bunch of pissabeds.”

  “Speaking of…” Shade’s voice trailed. Jet swatted him.

  Millie kept coming, oblivious to what she’s just walked into. “Thought they might really brighten up the shop. You know. If we fix a bunch of posies and put ‘em in little vases? Don’t you think it’s funny how they’re called ‘pissabeds’? I mean, they’re just dandelions. But, I was reading in one of Chimera’s old books that people used them to stop kids from…”

  Millie turned. She had a fistful of the bright yellow blossoms. Her mouth dropped into a silent little “O”.

  “Seraphime Joyvive,” Onyx continued, channeling my grandmother. The voice was hers. It was almost as if she was in the room with me. I half-expected her to pop up from behind the counter, her silver curls circling her head like a soft halo. But, her words bore a strange echo, a slight warble that reminded me she was coming to me from The Summerland.

  “Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little and listen much.”

  “Man, oh, man. Chimera’s citing the Rede,” Jet tried that sotto voce whisper thing again. He was still rotten at it. But, he had a point. If Grammy Chimera was using the Old Words, I had better listen.

  “Honor the Old Ones, in deed and name. Let love and light be our guides again.” The only thing that moved on Onyx was his mouth.

  Ouch. That one stung. Grammy Chimera always had a way of scolding me in the nicest way possible. She’s just as much reminded me that though I may not be a practicing witch, to have threatened to abandon my heritage, my birthright, was a slap in the face to her and to every Opal witch that had gone before me. Including my parents. My grandmother and my parents had always showered me with such unconditional love and support, and had always guided me on the path of the right.

  “With a fool no season spend, nor be counted as his friend.”

  “Well, that leaves you out,” Shade murmured to Jet. Jet knocked him off the sill.

  Grammy was right. As usual. We are known by the company we keep. David was probably one the most honest, forthright, loyal people I knew and had been my friend longer than anyone. He had stuck with me through thick and thin. I was being a selfish ninny for being upset that he wanted to go on a date with Amber. He was good-looking. She was…blessed. And I know he hadn’t asked me out, or if I was even mentally ready for him to do so. But, it was totally wrong of me to expect him not to move along with his own life. And I may not have agreed with him about the direction the investigation needed to go, but my outburst at the station was out of line. He was my friend and I owed him an apology.

  Onyx continued. “When misfortune is anow, wear the star upon your brow.”

  Okay. I admit. I was a little confused on that one. Obviously, Grammy was talking about a pentacle, and misfortune was about as ‘anow” as it was ever gonna get, but ‘wear the star upon your brow’? I reached behind me, under my hairline, and unlatched the silver pentacle charm. The weight of it in my palm underscored the graveness of Grammy’s words. I hefted it a few times, then held it up to my eyebrow. My cats, not breathing, not blinking, just watching me. I don’t know if I expected some magical vision, but after a few minutes, I just felt a little foolish. I placed it on the counter next to the grimoire.

  I knew what I had to do. Grammy was a wise old witch. Even in death.

  The opaque film slowly left Onyx’s eyes. He blinked a few times, then shook his head.
>
  “What happened?” he muddled, a little unsteady.

  Shade leapt up on the counter next to him and gave him a friendly little jab in the ribs.

  “You went all ‘red rum’! Chimera possessed you, brother man! It was epic!” Shade was pretty impressed.

  “What…was…that?” Millie asked from her rooted position at the door.

  “Omigosh!” I gasped. I forgot. It was Millie’s first possession. She may have worked at The Angel Apothecary for years, but Grammy usually relegated the serious stuff to the back room. It was only since I took over that Mille had ventured beyond the front counter of the shop.

  “Millie! Are you okay?”

  “Let’s just say I’m glad I was holding the pissabeds,” she replied in a shocked monotone. I looked at her white knuckled grip on the dandelion bouquet. “I think I’m gonna go to the little girls’ room now.”

  Millie shuffled off, flowers and all, toward the lavatory.

  Onyx turned serenely toward me, apparently none the worse for wear from being possessed by a hundred year old ghost. “So. Did you receive wise counsel, Seraphim?”

  Yeah, he used my real name, but after my little chat with Grammy, I was starting to realize…it was just as much a part of me as magic was and I couldn’t avoid it forever.

  Yes, I knew what I had to do. But, I wouldn’t break David’s rule…I just might make a little “hexception”.

  He was right. I was not the world’s greatest witch. What was the old saying my yogi used to tell me after I’d moan and groan during King Pigeon pose after months of skipping class? Don’t use it, you’ll lose it? I would have to be a complete and total idiot to try and work Fae magic on my own. But, I knew someone who might be willing to help. There was only one tiny little problem.

  She might also be Spithilda’s murderer.

  From Bat to Worse